unedited | added: 7/19 | total word count: 1408 

My fingers dug into the cool rail as I stared at the ash island. I wouldn't miss it and no matter what, I couldn't allow myself to regret the blood stained my hands. What happened wasn't my fault.

I never asked for it.

Neither did the boy.

Ethecatl had taken it upon himself to ignore my warning. He might not have known me, but I always made good on my threats. Always.

Turning, I walked past those looking at me like I was a monster. To them, I just might as well be. Of course, many saylors did assume that anyone who became a pirate would eventually commit murder if they hadn't already, though the same could be said about joining the ranks to becoming a saylor.

What they thought did not matter to me. They were just saylors who happened to be watching the vessel I took.

Knots built and twisted angrily inside me. Tightening with each step and breath I took. My chest weighed heavily, even as I looked forward and not at them.

I couldn't breathe.

My hands clenched just above my chest, as it became harder to get air in. I needed to breathe. Why couldn't I breathe?

"Rachel?"

A voice brought my eyes up to the man before me. His rugged appearance is still as bad as when we first arrived to Kulon, the moving ash island.

Breathe, I reminded myself as I took in a deep gust of air. Breathe.

"Yes?"

My hand fell back to the trail along the metal railing of the new ship we had borrowed. My lips into a forced smile to hide what was happening on the inside as I turned to see Captain Velwyn below. He looked like a kid that had been gifted the one thing he always wanted.

"You know," he said as he leaned against the light, almost white, railing, "this will only cause them to come after you more. They will catch it."

I knew what it meant. Stealing from an Post-Captain, my mother at the very least would be right there rooting for them as she disowned me. She would help them catch me, if she could come to understand my mind.

It wouldn't happen. If only because it would have to be our red-haired Captain mind whose mind they would have to understand.

"It was good thinking.Getting us the ship," Saul continued.

My mind flashed to the look on the saylors faces as they found me with the Kulan. How one of them had recognized me. Of course, that was just my luck.

Couldn't go a day without it, but this time, it worked in my favor.

"I know," I said as my eyes drifted to the white flags and sails. "It's too bad we had to leave ours so quickly. Left my bag of treasure behind."

I wouldn't miss it. The treasure could be replaced. Getting away was more important than that.

"I'm sure you'll find plenty here on this warship."

Saul was right about that. I had heard one of them mention, when they first saved me and before it became clear I was much more than someone in need of help, that they had run across another group of pirates. Those pirates hadn't been as lucky as us.

Lost all their treasure and lives.

"It's a navy ship. Heard they came across a number of pirates. Plus, they'll have plenty of things we can sell when we hit the next city," I mumbled back.

I was sure he already knew though. Knew what they had came across. Well, he would, if he got any of the saylors trapped with us to talk.

I continued to watch as Captain Velwyn and the others rounded the remaining saylors up. The very ones who stared at me as if I was the monster who they had been warned about.

That might have mainly been because I told them I killed their Captain to make them lose hope and their wills to fight. I had also hoped it would have made them jump ship.

It hadn't.

"No doubt about it," Saul agreed.

The silence that fell was nice and it seemed like he didn't think I was about to have a break down. Watching them below, everything felt nice and like things could only go smoothly now. It was like we would be able to have a carefree trip on a ship that wasn't about to sink.

The nice silence also gave me time to think about Post-Captain William Kyd and his arrival. With him, he had brought the very ship we took and a good number of saylors. I could only faintly put his name as one George had mentioned at some point.

It seemed he had been trailing after me and the two boys, though it appeared he was doing it in a manner that said there was plenty of time to waste. He was in no rush to catch up to us, then we were to see him. Though I didn't know why he would want us or at the very least, the boys who had done no wrong as far as the saylors would have known.

How he knew where we were going or would end up, was a mystery, but something told me Captain Velwyn and Saul would be quick to find out. They didn't need anyone, let alone a Post-Captain, trailing after them even if they were pirates.

Even if they did help me leave Carlisle.

One of the talkative saylors had been the one to spill everything out. What they were doing at the island. How many of them there were. And where they had left the undermanned warship.

It didn't take long after their arrival for me to come up with a plan. I figured out a way to steal from a high ranked saylor. Though, I hadn't at first known it was a warship. It was one of those details the saylor just happened to leave out.

The sight of a black flag waving in the distance grabbed my attention. A grin formed as the thought of someone having time to grab it came to mind. There hadn't been all that much time between me getting free of William Kyd's underlings and getting back to the crew who hadn't looked for me.

Laughter had me looking from the sail and back down. Jacob looked as if he was having the time of his life. My stomach dropped as a frown replaced the grin as I stared at him.

Maybe that was the reason for William Kyd chasing after them. Because of who they were.

I had already brought so much pain to him and his family. It was so clear, there in the beginning. So clear.

Yet, somehow, I ignored it.

I chose to ignore what was staring right at me.

They were her kids. They were Scarlet Jenning kids, and maybe I had never met Jacob or William after they were born, but I knew her. And that should have been enough.

I should have known.

Not only had I taken them two from her, but I had killed her oldest. The boy who still haunted me, especially when I looked at Jacob. Thom.

He was dead and I couldn't bring him back. I regretted that. Regretted my rash decisions. I could have done something differently.

I could have stopped myself from taking his life. When he was a boy, he had been so full of life. Happy. Smiling. Always asking questions.

I still didn't know how that could have changed. Or why the two youngest wanted to leave. Not the real reason.

Scarlet wasn't abusive. She would never harm her kids. I was confident in that. More confident in that than anything else. But I also knew she did put her job before a lot of things, and I couldn't deny that she might have neglected them.

"Come on," Saul said as he brought my attention back to him. "You're the one who got us the ship. Might as well be there when Velwyn tells us where we're going and what we're going to do next."

I nodded and followed after him, knowing that there would be plenty of time to explore the ship once the meeting was over. On the way, I watched as Saul shouted at others to hurry up.

Wiley, Loena, Masque, and the others fell behind us in a line before we could reach the room. We needed to know where we were going and what to do with the warship.

I was sure that few would be pleased that a pirate crew had really been able to get their hands on one.