⚠️ This is just a fan fiction based on real situations⚠️

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We're happy, free, confused
and lonely at the same time

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Your pov

   I'm in front of his house in Kingston upon Thames, United Kingdom.

   "Thank you so much Jonathan. I'll be alright from here." I told my bodyguard.

   "I'll be nearby, just call me when you need me." He said with his deep voice.

   "Okay. If you're not busy tomorrow, please buy me cat food and a collar with a name tag..." I asked, looking at the sleeping cat in my arms.

   "Sure. Good night Ms (L/n)."

   "Thank you."

   I hesitated for a while. I didn't know if I should knock on the door, but before I even got to decide the door opened, with Tom Holland on the other side.

   "Yay!~ You're here, come in." He said. "Oh? Is that a cat?"

   "Oh... Sorry. I watched an interview where you said you don't really like cats."

   "It's not like I'm going to kick them." He laughed. "I'm okay with it if it's yours, c'mon in."

   "Thanks."

   I stepped into Tom's house and I felt something I could not explain. There was something about the smell, decorations, the shelf with Spider-Man models and even the air that made it feel like home.

   I didn't see all the family members, it was quite late so they might have fallen asleep already, even Tessa was not here.

   It looked like Tom was alone in his living room, with popcorn and a movie. He probably couldn't fall asleep like he said on his instagram.

   "Where's the cat from anyway, (Y/n)?" He called my name so unstudied, we must have been very close.

   "A stray. I adopted her. She's a girl, I think. Do you think Tessa will be okay with (C/n)."

   "Tessa's a kind dog, (C/n) and Tessa will become great friends." He patted (C/n)'s head. "Oh, she stinks."

   "Stray." I shrugged.

   "Believe it or not I have Cat shampoos." Tom said. "A fan bought for it for Tessa but it was for cats not dogs."

   We ended up washing (C/n) in his tub. I have always wanted to know how it would feel like to talk about random, normal things with him, and now I knew how sweet Tom Holland was, and all other fans like me would fall deeper in love with him if they knew too.

   We got bubbles all over us, we laughed like idiots when he fell on his ass because of the slippery floor. Then Harry visited us and begged us not to  scream, he needed to sleep.

   For the first time since I returned, I forgot everything about the first real world, or the second one. All I could think of was now, the two of us in his house.

   And I was happy.

   I was so happy.

   "We should let her rest." Tom suggested. The cat was now sleeping on Tessa's extra bed, tucked in a blanket.

   "Sure thing." I told him.

   "Aren't you sleepy? You can go to sleep first, it's really late."

  "What about you? You're not sleepy?"

   "I can't... sleep." He sighed. "I tried, like, these past couple of days I tried to just close my eyes but I just can't."

   "I'm not really sleepy either, so, can I stay with you...?" I asked, and he gave a soft smile.

   "Sure. I have popcorn! Let's watch something, you have any movie you want to watch?" He asked.

   "Civil war."

   "Hm?"

   "I want to watch Captain America Civil war with you." I told him honestly.

   He laughed. "Alright, sure."

   We tucked ourselves on the couch and covered our bodies with blankets. Tom grabbed a blu-ray disk of Captain America Civil war and popped it into the DVD player.

   The Marvel theme song played and we fangirled and fanboyed together. "I got chills just listened to that." I told him and he nodded.

   "I haven't watched this in a while. The first month it was out, I remember watching this day and night." He told me, Tom was the biggest fan of himself.

   "Yeah... I actually still remember the first time I watched the trailer, how it felt when you just swung down and was like, "Hey everyone"." I told him. He smiled cutely, showed his little dimples.

   We watched the movie, like, I supposed, we did a lot. My heart was torn apart and blooming at the same time when he laid his head on my shoulder, like he didn't mind at all, like there was no gab between us.

   "Did they let you read this script?" I asked him, then laid my head on his head too.

   "They didn't know I was Spoiler-man, so they did."

   "Did you know Bucky killed Tony's parents?"

   "Yeah, I did. Pretty fucked up."

   "How do you think he felt?"

   "Who? You mean Tony Stark?" He asked. "He's not real, but still, if he were real, he must have felt betrayed because Steve knew and didn't tell him."

   "He's real..." I muttered.

   "Hm?""

   "What if I told you, they're all real? If I told you my movie was real? I actually was just a fan, and I got teleported there, and when I died, I came back, ending up right here next to you?" I asked him.

   He was quite confused at first, thinking I was just joking, but after looking at my face, he figured I was serious.

   "Then... you must be really lost. Like you have no home to go back too."

   "..." Exactly, Thomas. Exactly.

   "But it's not real." He smiled. Our faces was too close, I could see all the details on his face, it was gorgeous.

   "Right... right..." I whispered, maybe I was just losing my mind.

   "Okay, I have questions for you, fourth wall girl. We will get to watch Infinity War next year, right? If you see it, and you witness a really, really bad situation, and you can go back to that world, would you?"

   "I will." I told him, then I sensed foreshadowing.

   "Would you leave me to save Peter Parker?" He looked sad.

   "Save? You're saying it like he'll die." I laughed.

   "..."

   "..."

   "..."

   "Oh my god."

   "Fuck I just spoiled it for you."

   "OH MY GOD THOMAS STANLEY HOLLAND! PETER BENJAMIN PARKER DIES IN INFINITY WAR!?!!" I slapped his head.

   "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoiled it for you....! Don't tell anybody okay? They'll get Andrew back if I let this slip." He begged.

   "No! No no no no..."

   No, I left him there. I need to go back right now and warn them, or do something to save Peter.

   "Are you sure? Maybe they didn't let you read the part where they bring you back to life?"

   "It's legit, love. If I'd return back they would shoot a wake up scene or something right? But Peter's body was..." He stopped halfway and wouldn't continue.

   "Was what?!"

   "No more spoilers." He tried to get me to sit back down on the seat.

   "Tell me everything right now!"

   "Watch the movie with me, Spidey's about to show up." He dragged me down and before I knew it, he was straddling me. His face blocked the lamp's light, his eyes reflected the movie, his hair fell down and covered part of his eyes.

   We stopped shouting. We just stared at each other. No sound was made but I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my chest, louder than ever.

   You could kiss me right now.

   Why won't you kiss me right now?

   He back away like I expected him to. There was something keeping us apart, something I didn't know just just yet. But I was hurt, I was in pain because I felt lost.

   I was still just a girl with a hopeless crush on a boy. After all, the journey I had was just because I wanted to be with him. Now that I had a change, why couldn't it be possible? And why did I feel so bad for the one I left.

   I have thousands question for Tom from when I was in my first real world, and this sad feeling inside of me just grew bigger now that I was here.

   "Are you hers?..." I asked softly.

   "Who?..." He asked just as soft.

   "I don't know... Zendaya's... Laura's... Someone's..."

   He twisted his brows. "We talked about this."

   "One day Tom." I faced him, hoping he saw how broken I felt. "One day, pretend I am that girl from the movie that died and was sent back, that I know nothing about you, or us. Please, one day."

   "..." He was really confused, but Tom was kind, and generous, he nodded. "Okay."

   He looked up in the screen, Tony Stark just visited Peter's home in Queens.

   "I'm seeing her, Yes, Zendaya."

   Kill me.

   Kill me right now.

   My biggest fear. Everyone could ship Tomdaya as much as they'd like, I didn't care. I was prepared since that world that if one day they revealed that they're seeing each other, I would accept it. But I couldn't, it broke my heart like every other girl's to know he was with someone that wasn't you.

   But from that world I was just a girl, behind my phone. I knew nothing about Tom, despite claiming that I knew everything. The way he laughed at things, or how his hair looked after a shower.

   Now I'm face to face with reality, and it was hard to deal with.

   "I expected that." I muttered.

   "You don't look so good."

   "No. I am perfectly fine. Zendaya is a great woman and an idol, and she deserves you better." Than me.

   "I thought you liked Sam, you told me yourself that night that we would never happen, so I stepped back."

   Myself in this world is a fucking piece of shit.

   "You know." I chuckled painfully. "Every time all the news headlines said that you went to her house, that you guys were a thing, my heart ached in jealousy and sadness like a child and I begged that you weren't together. I knew you were out of my reach, that in this life I would never get to have you, but I didn't want you to become anyone else's."

   He watched as tears dropped onto my lap.

   "And it was just a celebrity crush... I knew, but it felt like so much more."

   "You talk like (Y/n), like in your movies..." He said.

   "That's because I am, Tom. That's why you and Peter are so damn important to me."

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Neko: Don't hate me because of this chapter boi fun stuff is on its way i just needed to write  how i see things about Tom