He never meant for me to find out.

        Oh, Felix must have, since he encouraged me to climb up and figure out the truth. But Peter didn’t want this to happen.

        I was supposed to be the lost girl who briefly visited Neverland before disappearing back into London. I would have returned without knowing the truth, without being haunted by a boy with green eyes and a mystery that wasn’t mine to solve.

        But now it was too late for that.

        Peter’s words echo around us. The blue sky beckons me and this time I accept its freedom. Peter watches me as I slowly drift away from him and his secrets. I know I should stay and try to fix it, try to understand. But in the end, I won’t be able to help him.

        He doesn’t wave or smirk. He doesn’t tilt an imaginary hat or bow at the waist like a proper English gentleman. He just watches me like the lost boy he is. And then he kneels down and begins to clean up the mess he has made.

        I should join him, but I don’t. Instead I fly away into the Neverland sky.

        And don’t look back.

**

        “Hey, Wendy. What have you done all morning?” Bert swoops next to me, dodging a large bird. It squawks at the laughing boy.

        I smile, some of the seriousness drifting away from me. The heaviness is gone too. I feel as light as the clouds next to us. Flying really can cure almost anything. I will miss this most of all.

        “Not much. What about you?”

        Bert flips onto his back as if floating in a lake. “Ah, just a few scrimmages. We finally caught up with the mean old bear over on Peak’s hill. Kelvin even helped us. A little clumsy with a dagger at first, but he has talent. He was the one who downed the beast. He earned his nickname.”

        “Nickname?” I ask, trying to shake the image of Kelvin throwing a dagger around. I’ve never been able to grab a knife, but there were times when I needed one, times when it was a good thing I was a fast runner.

        “Yep, Kelvin is our brother now, our Shadow. The mighty bear slayer.”

        I groan. “Oh, please, no. Besides, nicknames are silly. And meaningless.”

        Bert tugs on one of my blonde curls. “Well, Wendy-bird, if you say so.”

        “Wendy-bird?” I laugh. Before I can ask why, I remember that I am floating miles above the ground. Yes, I guess in a way I am a bird, no longer caged by gravity and logic-at least for one more magical day.

        “You know, Wendy,” the smile fades from Bert’s eyes. “Not all nicknames are meaningless. Some of them tell the truth about a person, the truth that no one else will admit out loud.”

        “That Kelvin likes to melt into the shadows? That I like to fly?”

        Bert shakes his head. “You are looking at the facts, not the reasons. Kelvin is stealthy because he has learned to blend in and hide what he is feeling. And you fly because you have been imprisoned all your life…by poverty and gray sky. You love the sky because it gives you a taste of freedom you believe you’ll never really get. But bear slayers don’t belong in the shadows. And birds belong in the sky, not in cages.”

        I fight back tears. I stretch out my arms and feel the wind rush through my fingers. This moment is so perfect, but it will end. All of this will. It’ll fade into a dream that was too good to be real. I think of broken glass, and remembered that there is evil and sadness in this world too. Maybe England and Neverland aren’t that different-if you didn’t count the magic.

        “So, you must be Robert: the sage disguised as a jester.” I say quickly, tears stinging my eyes, but I can’t let them fall. I don’t cry when people can see me.

        “I’ll probably thank you or yell at you, depending on what ‘sage’ means.” Bert turns red, then spins around me in looping circles.

        My tears forgotten, I try not to laugh at him. “A sage is a wise person.”

        “Great, so I guess I just disqualified your compliment. It was a compliment, right?”

        “Of course it was. And you are wise, even if you may not be smart.”

        Bert gasps, clutching his heart. “How rude! I actually thought you were nice, Wendy.”

        “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that-!” I break off my sentence when he begins to chuckle. “Ugh, you!” I want to punch him again, but he stays several feet away. See, I told you he was wise. “I just meant that you can be wise without knowing everything.”

        Bert rests his chin on his fist. He nods his head thoughtfully. “Do go on, Miss Darling. You were saying something about me knowing everything and being captivatingly handsome.”

        “Stop it, silly. I would never call you captivatingly handsome.” I tilt my head and survey the boy flying beside me. “Although you are rather cute.” I tap his nose and swoop out of reach.

        Bert laughs as he chases after me.

        How from one day to the next did I suddenly get over a dozen brothers? Why can’t I stay here with the lost boys? Peter-or was it Felix?-called me a lost girl. Surely I belong here with them.

        Our last conversation scatters my wishful thoughts. Peter is haunted by the shadow of something he can’t show me yet. There is no way he would ever let me stay.

        Bert and I land on the top of Peak’s hill. The lost boys whoop as they surround an overly large carcass. The wind ruffles the dark fur. My stomach churns. Ew. There is no way I am going near that thing.

        Bears I love, but not as a meal. And not in real life. I love the small ones made of stuffing and button noses.

        I try to keep my voice steady. “So, bear meat for lunch?”

        “And probably dinner.” Bert salutes me before cartwheeling into the crowd. He plows into two or three ‘brothers’.

        I shake my head and look for Kelvin. Where is he?

        Someone taps my shoulder. I spin around and see him standing behind me. He really can be quiet. The Shadow, indeed.

        “Wendy-bird.” Kelvin smirks at me. Smirking seems to be a lost boy trademark.

        I curtsey slightly, “Ah, it is the mighty bear slayer. Or do you prefer Shadow?”

        “Whatever you wish, milady.” He ducks his head, his cheeks red. Maybe charming is also a trademark. I glimpse the tallest boy ripping into the bear with his dagger, blond hair slanting over his eyes. Well, not all the lost boys.

        “Sounds like you’ve had quite an adventure.”

        Kelvin nods, then pulls his fingers through his dark curls. “I love it here. I never want to leave.”

        “I know.” I sigh. Why will they accept him but not me? Is it because I am a girl? I fold my arms tightly over my stomach and turn away from the dead lump of bear meat. Okay, so yes, I am very much a girl, but I am a lost girl who will never be content to sit around and sip tea. Not that life has ever offered me that option, but still…Don’t I belong in a place like Neverland? Doesn’t a bird belong in the sky? Not just for a day or two, but for forever.

        Kelvin chatters on about his great adventure. I should be listening, but I am not.

        I’ve never been in such a beautiful place. Blue sky, tall trees, and green grass. Here on this hill there aren’t even trees, just a small river trickles down one side. Maybe once I go back home to the streets, I will run off to the country. Surely life is better there under the open sky. There still might by hunger, but at least there should be some wild apple trees. A stream or two.

        Kelvin glances over my shoulder. He stops talking and grins.

        The other lost boys settle down a bit, even Felix who holds out his bloody knife.

        Their leader has arrived. I force a smile onto my face. I turn around slowly, my dress brushing against my knees, my hair swaying over my shoulders.

        I look up into Peter Pan’s eyes and wonder who I’ll see. A monster, a leader, or a lost boy?