Chapter 20: Counting stars
“Let's order the pizza right now and watch a movie. You get to choose, I want you to have fun as well.” Jungkook spoke in a sweet voice to the man as Jimin blushed and turned away. He knew his feelings were too deep to shove away by now and Jungkook was at the center of his own solar system. “Maybe… Romance?”
“I… I don't… think it's fitting for the… situation you're… in..” Jimin spoke out softly as Jungkook gawked down at the lockscreen of his own phone to see the picture of his girlfriend there. “Let's… do something else… I don't want… to upset you, Mr. Jeon.”
“Ah, it's just an issue, that's all. I promise. It won't even get to me.” Replied the boy and began to order the pizza through an app while Jimin sat there in silence. He was aware of how strong Jungkook was and he was surprised at how well the boy would take his break from his girlfriend. It was like nothing worried him, yet it left him sitting there and desperately trying to shut everything out when he was with Jimin. Things confused Jimin when he thought of Jungkook… But one thing was for sure, was that he began to embrace that interest he took on the stargazer.
“It… would be… better if we.. stargaze instead…”
“My mind is too fucked up to stargaze.” Jungkook answered softly and this made Jimin stare at Jungkook a bit longer. “You just love to stare at me, don't you, Jimin?” Jungkook whispered and the corners of his lips curved into a smile to himself. “I must be some type of bright star to you then…”
“Stop it…” Jimin replied into his murmur and threw the couch pillow against Jungkook’s shoulder. “Now I can't… stare?” Whispered the man and let out soft giggles that always left Jungkook smiling. “Mr. Jeon…”
“Just say, ‘Jungkook,’ Jimin. It's not that hard.” Jungkook spoke to the boy as Jimin giggled. It was now that they finally felt comfortable around each other and Jimin felt the breath he was holding, finally release. He blushed at each interaction they shared and Jungkook found glee through it all. After everything, he traveled further from the issue he had with Lee-Young and grew closer to Jimin. Of course, It was the best feeling he ever had. “Here, order whatever you want.” Jungkook told Jimin and handed him the phone where Jimin was to order the pizza. “I'll pay for anything you want.”
“That's… okay… I was paid...for my expedition… I'll pay-”
“No, I'm paying.” Jungkook chuckled as he then dropped his hand over Jimin's head once more to mess his hair. “You should thank me, but yet again… I'm just doing what I wanted to do. It could be my job but I enjoy it.” Jungkook told the older softly and caressed Jimin's hair back softly.
“Do… you… want my… hair, Mr. Jeon?” Jimin asked and smiled at Jungkook after. “Do you?”
“Sure, I'll take it.” Jungkook replied as Jimin just couldn't hide his silent giggles along with the red blush on his face. “You're red, Jimin.” Laughed the boy softly in his deep and gentle whisper as the red on Jimin's face never faded from there. Even if it seemed obvious on how much giggles he shared, Jungkook felt just as happy as Jimin at that very moment. Soon, Jimin placed the order for a box of pizza as Jungkook had a romance movie already chosen for the night. The way things were set; a romantic movie waiting to be played and pizza for the occasion made Jimin feel like this was a small date. Of course, he hid the fact that he viewed it as a date when in reality, Jungkook did this to stretch away from the issues he had with Lee-Young before.
After a while, the pizza was delivered and Jungkook set the table and opened the box to reveal the round and hot pizza sitting within the white box. Cheese melted over the crust, red pepperoni slices sprinkled all over the top and it was cut into twelve slices. Along with the box of hot pizza, there was a smaller box carrying rich, barbeque, spicy, chicken wings. The chicken was dipped in the red and sweet barbecue sauce that had the rich aroma to it that made the mouth water within seconds. With the crisp outside and hot, tender inside, Jimin gazed at the food altogether and couldn't wait to begin eating with Jungkook as they watch a romantic film together.
Jungkook began serving Jimin on a plate and divided the wings equally between the two. As Jungkook did this, Jimin just couldn't help but to gawk at Jungkook the whole time. The older's face lit up to himself and knew by the second that turned into quick minutes, he began to fall for Jungkook even if they had so much to learn from each other. Jimin was still fragile and Jungkook did things with extra caution around the older, but he never wanted to step out of line like he did before; yelling and shouting only caused Jimin pain. Surely, Jimin just hoped his disabilities wouldn't stand in the way of something new. Something he hoped for even if it just didn't seem right outside his head. Outside Jimin's head, Jungkook was still a taken man, outside his head, Jungkook seemed to love another, and outside his head, Jimin knew Jungkook was just straight; there was no hope there now but he still held on for a miracle.
“Here's your plate. Tell me if you want me to order anything else. I do need to get you used to eating more than before.” Jungkook said as Jimin looked onto the plate and noticed there was two slices of hot, pepperoni pizza along with six, barbecue, chicken wings. “I'll get you something to drink.” Jungkook spoke softly and stood up to rush over to the kitchen and get Jimin a can of cold coca-cola along with napkins as well. Jimin was silent and kept smiling since his mind couldn't handle all of this, he looked at this as a date and let out a cute and soft giggle that quickly caught Jungkook’s attention. “What's so funny? Is it too much for you?”
“N-No… It's just… all of… this… looks just like… we're having a… date…” Jimin told the boy silencing his own weak voice as Jungkook then began to chuckle softly to himself as always.
“Then it's a date.” Jungkook played along, unaware that Jimin was serious about how much this felt like a date to him. Jungkook then sat next to the older while his arm threw around Jimin's shoulder and his other hand carried his own plate of pizza and wings sitting alongside it on the clean plate. “This is our first date, Jimin. Are you nervous?~”
“A-A little…” Jimin replied and made Jungkook smile so happily and it was those types of smiles where Jungkook only locked his eyes onto someone and laugh in his own head while his smile carved a lovely view plastered over his face. All this and Jimin still sat there, astonished and whipped by Jungkook's grins and childish gazes, the man even thought, this just had to be a sign, right? Jungkook did keep feelings for the older and liked Jimin just as much as Jimin liked him… Right? There just had to be something, Jimin just knew it and hoped for it.
The two sat there together watching the romantic movie as Jimin just couldn't focus with Jungkook still having his arm wrapped around the older’s shoulder like he claimed him. Jimin wanted this to become so real, he even grew jealous over the main characters getting together while Jimin sat there and could only dream. He felt desperate, silly and embarrassed. He had no business of growing interested in the boy, but he did and this was his feelings just wishing to be satisfied. Even as they sat through the kissing scenes and eventually the explicit scenes, Jimin didn't really focus on the movie and sat there, thinking of his own universe where Jungkook was there and counted the many stars with him.
Counting stars together made Jimin picture something so beautiful in his gullible and care free mind. If he was to ever count the stars together with Jungkook, it would mean eternity because there was many stars in the sky and they would never reach an end. That's the feeling Jimin had with Jungkook. One rocket trip with no destination; just a never ending ride.
“Jungkook…. I… I don't… think this is good… for you to hide what… you have bottled up. Talk to me… as I would to you..” Jimin insisted to help because he knew Jungkook would always cheer him up through anything that came to his young mind.
“Bottled up…” Jungkook said to himself as he then rose the remote up to pause the film right at the part where the two main characters kissed underneath the moonlight. “It's nothing really… It hasn't bothered me for a good while now, Jimin. It's just… Lee-Young and I have a few differences here and there. I don't know what's going on between us and I tried to fix things, but she said it was better to go into break. Even if it made me so upset… I calmed down for you.” Jungkook wrapped up what he said and tilted his head to look into Jimin's eyes that always seemed to reflect the constellation. Jungkook could even name all the constellations he found by staring into Jimin's gem-like eyes. The big dipper, Cassiopeia, Orion… the list just went on and on.
“I heard… everything. Am.. I the issue…?” Jimin asked nervously with a tone of a gentle and soft pitch to his whispers. “I'm… sorry if… I am.”
“You're never the issue. Don't blame yourself, how many times do I have to tell you that? You're perfect…” Said the younger and tucked a bang behind Jimin's ear gently. “It's just something between Lee-Young and I… So now, we're on break and I have to… I need to, get my mind off things and spend more time with you.”
“You're so… kind to me… Stop it. You're making… me blush.” Jimin giggled as Jungkook then took Jimin's empty plate along with his and set on the table so he wouldn't drop it over the many times Jimin giggled to himself.
“If your cute smiles and giggles come from that red blush if yours, then I don't want to stop.” Finished off the boy as Jimin couldn't help but to feel like all of these were just Jungkook playing and teasing the older just like the way he would tease and play along with Taehyung. Of course, it just didn't feel like Jungkook caught the signs and Jimin eventually closed his eyes to sleep; believing the fact that Jungkook didn't care enough to realize the astronaut's feelings.
However, after Jimin closed his eyes to rest against the armrest of the couch with Jungkook by his side, Jungkook's attention was only focusing on Jimin instead of the movie that was slowly coming to an end. Jimin was up past his usual bedtime and couldn't stay up to eat a second slice of pizza even if he couldn't finish the crust on his first slice. “Asleep already..?” Jungkook asked into a murmur. The boy gawked at Jimin for a while before reaching to Jimin's can of soda and drinking out of it himself before setting it onto the table. “At least you were able to get this far while eating pizza along with the wings. Your appetite is improving… I'm so proud of you…” Jungkook then smiled after saying that into a soft whisper to the man; not really expecting him to listen at all.
As Jungkook sat near Jimin, he reflected on their little ‘date' and slowly, he pulled Jimin's body over his own lap to carry Jimin in his arms like before. “You're cute… Leaving a mess of barbecue over the coners of your lips. I didn't even see that.” Jungkook whispered and reached over for a napkin as he then began to wipe the stains of barbecue off Jimin's lips. “How could you sleep like this…?” Questioned the young stargazer to himself as he then grew silent and set the napkin away after wiping the stain completely off. “...How… could you leave me feeling so confused…?” Jungkook asked and by there his focus was locked onto Jimin completely. He alone felt the change in his feelings shift away from Lee-Young during their break and Jungkook sat there with Jimin in his arms to contemplate longer.
“It's not your fault… Maybe I'm just lonely.” Jungkook whispered and didn't dare to look away. That's when he realized his feelings for Jimin and he could only feel a little more worried about it. Thinking of his feelings for Jimin will change everything. Even his plans he vowed to keep with his girlfriend. However, those vows or words he ever spoke to his girl, made no effect towards these new feelings he couldn't deny from Jimin. Jimin was beautiful and he was beautiful skin deep, he didn't have much to give; knowing he couldn't speak loud enough, hear loud noises or walk perfectly fine, Jungkook didn't hold these against him. It was now that Jungkook had these feelings for Jimin after realizing how supportive, friendly and smart his true role model became.
“Yes… You're beautiful and perfect…” Jungkook confessed in his mind as he stroked Jimin's dark brown locks aside to expose his forehead. By there, Jungkook took out his phone and gawked at his lock screen and home screen that had a picture of him and his girl. Within seconds, Jungkook removed the pictures of Lee-Young and himself together in the home screen and lock screen before pulling a smile afterwards.
Finally, he somewhat forgot about the whole biography he would make of Jimin's life leading up to the expedition. Realizing that these feelings were far too important than some questions about the stars or the travel. Setting aside his love for the stars, Lee-Young and their relationship, to contemplate more about his new feelings on Park Jimin from now on.
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