Ira

Voices blurred together as I slowly came to. The darkness seemed to pull at my mind, sucking me back into a roiling mass of death and pain. I heard my name and a string of very creative cursing. I just burly registered the sting of a slap, but it was enough to draw me back to the surface.

River.

River was yelling and it took me a moment too long to realize why. Strong hands gripped my arms and tried lifting me up but like pushing a button they poured more images into my head.

An old man in a hospital. hacking coughs raked his body and blood speckled his hands. The fanatic beeping of a heart monitor as his damaged lunges finally gave out. The long piercing note rang out over the urgent bustle of doctors and nurses.

"Ira! Fuck! Emma, what the hell did you give her?"

"I don't know, she just ate it and – oh shit!

Lurching away from River I stumbled back only to trip into Emma.

Bright lights. Tires screeching. A crunch. Shattered glass. A flare of pain. Cold nothing.

Moaning I struggled to get away from her and River reached to help. flinching away again I fell against the wall and half slid half fell to the floor, turning just in time to aim for the corner as the copious amounts of alcohol I'd consumed earlier made a sudden reappearance. Moaning I rolled to my side and tried to breathe through the pain pounding in my head.

"Woah hey, Ira?" River moved closer, and I Jerked back.

"Don't!" it was almost a whimper, my voice sounding horse even to my own ears and making River pause to study me. "Please"

Both him and Emma watched me for a long moment, their concern heavy in the air before River took charge.

"Emma, go find Autumn and have JD get the car."

She disappeared and I took a moment to pull myself together.

I felt rung out, my body too heavy and my muscles too weak. Music and voices still carried on below as if no one had noticed my little episode and the hard base egged on my throbbing headache. And as if to prove things could always get worse everything seemed to glow, making my eyes burn. My throat hurt too much to speak which was fine because, even though it looked like he was ready to rip me a new one, River didn't seem inclined to talk. While we waited, he paced and muttered curses. His constant movement was making me dizzy, so I closed my eyes and welcomed the dimming of lights. I could still see them, the River shaped one going back and forth back and forth, but it was enough to stop the world from spinning.

Emma reappeared with Autumn still a little tipsy as they hurried up the creaky stairs.

"Damn River, what'd you do?"

"Nothing! Why does everything have to be my fucking fault?

"Because it usually is, dumbass. Now tell me what the hell happened."

"I don't know. I saw them come up with some bimbo then when I came to check on them Emma was trying to hold her down and she was screaming. Almost socked me in the face."

I watched through my eyelids as Autumn walked over to the brightest light. She rustled around and lifted the light and it immediately started to warp, stretching to morph into her own. I turned my head away when they grew too bright to watch.

"It's Skyglass." Autumn's sober conclusion sent River into another fit of cursing and stomping.

Skyglass?

It took some effort to remember what the stuff was; a drug. A nasty one too. I remembered my freshmen health teacher talking about it once during our annual "don't do drugs, kids" speech. Thank you, Mr. Thomas, fat good That did me. What was it he had said? Oh right, Skyglass is more dangerous than crack and meth put together. Why? because its effects varied from person to person. Hallucinogen, steroid, depressant, narcotic; you name it, Skyglass was it. Just a roll of the dice which one you got.

Guess I was low on luck, go figure.

"We have to call it in," Autumn told River.

"And get our asses arrested? Yeah, that sounds like a brilliant plan."

"Nooo!" Emma wailed a bit dramatically "I can't go to jail; mom will kill me!"

"No one's going to jail." Autumn told her then turned back to her brother "but If someone is selling that shit here, they're going to get someone killed. You that what that stuff's like. There's no going back from this and jail might suck but it's a hell of a lot better than ending up dead."

"Fine, we'll call it in" River didn't sound happy "What about her?"

The lights were growing dimer and it was hard to tell what they were doing so I risked a peek to see what was happening. It still hurt to open my eyes but at least they weren't burning anymore, and the bright lights weren't quite so bad blinding.

Autumn shook her head at the spindle person who was curled onto their side on the floor.

"The cops will take care of her, but we need to get out of here."

River looked over at me and sighed.

"I'll take Ira. You get Em to the car and make the call."

Autumn went to Emma, and they creaked down the stairs out of the barn. River came over and crouched next to me. I braced myself when he pulled my arm over his shoulder and lifted me up.

Cancer.

It sat in his lungs like an untreated sore.

Insidious and festering.

"You have to stop smoking." I rasped before I could even think about what I was saying.

"Not you too" River grimaced, half carrying/half dragging me outside. He led me to where JD had the car running. Autumn got Emma into the back before rounding the car and claiming the keys from JD, forcing him to climb into the passenger seat. As River brought me to the other side, pulled open the door, and roughly pushed me inside I wondered why she was driving. I was pretty sure she didn't even have a license. That train of thought was sidetracked when River climbed in next to me and this time, I'm prepared for the inner playback of the accident that would kill Emma but still jumped when River accidentally bumped my knee. The constant back and forth between the two visions made my head spin.

By the time we made it to the highway, my stomach had remembered it wasn't agreeing with its current contents and I moaned when the car lurched forward off gravel onto the pavement.

Beside me, River tensed.

"I swear to God, Ira, if you start puking, I'm not cleaning it up.

I opened my mouth to explain but the sudden wail of a siren made me cover my ears. Bright blue and red flashed and I screwed my eyes closed before they could blind me. There was a tense moment of silence as we waited to see if we were going to be pulled over, but the lights faded behind us and we kept driving.

"Where're we going?" Autumn demanded when we finally got into town.

"Johnny's. he won't ask any questions and might- "

"No! "I interrupted "take us home. Mindy went out and won't be back till tomorrow." I told Emma when she started to protest.

That seemed to be enough for everyone else because we rode in silence the rest of the way. When got there I was still too woozy to even make it out of the car but this time when River reached to help me, I was prepared for the rush of images. I let him carry me up to the apartment and to the little room I shared.

Emma was more of a handful. She started singing halfway up the stairs and tried to do a very uncoordinated boogie. It took both Autumn and JD to get her into bed but once they did, she was out like a light. I listened to the others as they pulled out blankets and sleeping bags and settled in for the night. It took a long time for them to fall asleep but eventually the chores of breathing settled into a steady rhythm.

I however did not want to sleep. Not when the darkness still lurked like a bottomless pit I could fall into at any moment.