"Did you hear yet?" Tricia asks, fixing her mascara through her hanging mirror in her locker.

"Yeah, I got a week or two head ups prior to everyone else." I fix my gaze on my own reflection and ruffle them smooth my hair.

Tricia has now moved onto her eye liner, deciding over four different tubes in her hand.

"Just choose one," I say, glancing down the hall.

"Well, you don't know the struggles of makeup users like me because you don't need it." Tricia selects one tube and applies it to her lower eyelids, revealing a perfect cat eye.

I scoff. "It's not that I don't need it, I just choose not to use it. Too much money and time."

"But the art implied is quite lovely and is respectable." She pulls out even more tubes of lipstick colors, debating over a raspberry or pale pink color.

"You're ridiculous," I say with a laugh as she chooses the pink. "That color suits you."

She rolls her blue-green eyes. "You flatter me too much."

"I do, huh? Maybe I should stop," I say teasingly.

She laughs, knowing I'm just messing with her. "You're such a pain, Autumn."

"Oh you love me." I fling my arm around Tricia's neck as I pull her in for a side hug.

"That I do."

Suddenly awkward silence flows through the halls that were just clattering with noise moments before. Students murmured about with their friends.

My eyes catch a bright glare from something and automatically look to where it came from. They land on a pair of sunglasses hanging on the shirt of a guy I've seen far too many pictures of thanks to my mom.

Xernex Decker.

He looks confident as he walks the halls overcrowded with people. The girls stare at him as if he's the prince. I stare at him like he's an alien with five heads.

"Wow." Tricia stares dreamily at Xernex.

I snap my fingers in front of her face to grab her attention. "Hey you there?"

Tricia's mouth hangs open, not believing the sight of this super hot new student.

Xernex winks at a junior named Daliah Rura, who probably hooked up with all the guys in her grade. She's probably moved onto seniors now.

"Yeah, fine," Tricia says, sounding out of breath. Xernex strides over, making Tricia quickly turn around so she won't be caught staring. A little to late for that, I thought.

She's blushing profusely, trying to cover it off, saying it's some expensive blush, but fails when Xernex walks up.

"Hi." His tone sounds flirty, even when he's merely greeting us.

"Hey," I say flatly. My eyes wander away from him and unknowingly find Jace who's already staring at me. We have a staring contest that lasts for 30 seconds before his eyes drifted to Xernex who's talking to Tricia.

Jace's stare found his way back to mine, but before I could blink, he turned around.

I sigh and turn my own back to Tricia and Xernex, him completely oblivious to her flirting. Admittedly, Tricia is one of the best people to ask for advice on such things having to do with useless guys, so she knows what she's doing.

 Apparently, her flirting skills aren't doing their job, because Xernex's attention wasn't all focused on her.

Tricia leans against her locker, showing a small cleavage while Xernex completely disregards the whole situation.

She notices this and gives me a pleading look, slightly pouting her lips.

Okay, Autumn to the rescue.

"So Xernex, did you already receive your schedule yet?" I ask casually. His head snaps to me at the mention of his name.

"Yeah, actually, I did. Though if I'm being honest, I'd love for some help on finding my classes, and perhaps," he pauses, giving me a devious smile. "A tour of this school?"

"You don't have to spare us the scrutiny," I state. "This school is crap."

He laughs, then smiled a pearly white grin. "I wouldn't say that."

I shake my head, disagreeing. "I certainly would. But anyways, if you ever need help around campus, Tricia would be glad to help."

Tricia smiles graciously, nodding her head in agreement.

Xernex opens his mouth like he's about to speak, but then closes it, thinking better of it. He grunts and shuffles off.

"Oh I feel the ship getting ready to sail," I say, grinning.

Tricia smiles michivously. "I got that boy. I'm calling it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You can't be serious," I say with confusion.

Mom looks at me, giving me a firm look. "Oh, but I am."

"Why?"

Mom sighed. "Honey, please don't start this with me once more. I already discussed with you that you need to accompany me in attending the daily appointments with a therapist."

"But I don't need a therapist," I say, already feeling the anger building.

"Which doesn't mean you won't need one later." Mom lets out another sigh. "Besides, it's not just you; it's me as well.

Is she serious? I stare at her with my jaw slackened. "What happened? I thought we were doing better as a family."

Mom kept her hands at her hips while mine were now crossed over my chest. "We are doing better, but this will help build our relationship more. I'm doing this for us," --her features grow softer, voice doing the same-- "and for your father."

I stand there in silence. A part of me knew her intentions mean well but I don't find this  necessary. Sure we sort of talk about him when mentioned, but in my opinion, we've been handling it pretty well; well, whatever qualifies for that anyways. I assume not if my mom is overruling my accusations, like always.   

"Must I, mom?" I stare at her intently, to see how much this means to her, and am surprised that it's a lot.

I sigh, knowing my fighting is futile. Once mom makes a decision as important as this, there's no going back. We're in it, or we're not. Simple as that, and I guess that we are in.  

"Fine." I turn around and head to my room, hoping this will clear my thoughts.

"Thank you, dear," my mom whispered. I could tell she was getting choked up but I didn't turn to face her or console her. Instead, I gently shut my bedroom door, blasted my music, and slipped from reality.

For the time being, anyways.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wow, Autumn," Tricia says, sympathy edging its way in her voice.

I absolutely hate it when people give me sympathy for things of minor concern. Sure it's respectable and required to those who just lost something of great loss but really, it's not. People thinks it makes the unhappy person feel better, that it makes themselves feel better. In fact, it makes it all worse, though I keep this all to myself and say none of this to Tricia.

"I know," I heave out a tremendous breath I didn't even realize I had held in. Storing up all my fears and worries of the future didn't feel good. I felt relieved to release them all in a breath. Even if it was temporarily.

The line on the other end is quiet. I'm almost about to end the call when I hear a small sigh being let out.

I pause and wait to see if Tricia is going to give me some heartfelt speech on how she isn't that good at consoling me, and turns out, she does.

"God, Autumn. I don't even know where to start. I'm so incredibly sorry for not being able to say something smarter, wiser even. I don't even know the what to say--"

"No one does," I cut in.

"--because I can't refer to anything in my own present life, but I want you to know I'm here for you." She takes a deep breath after saying that in one breath. "You'll be great, don't worry. Therapy isn't all bad and you're going with your mom so that should reassure you a little, if not fully. You have a good heart, know that. You're intentions are gold. Your love is unmistakable. You're unbelievably brave. Life will look up, it always does, even if you don't see it. However, it's okay because I, your best friend, do."

It wasn't until I sniffled and felt a tear roll down my cheek did it hit me that I was crying. Tricia always knows what to say, even when she denies this by saying she doesn't.

"Oh Tricia. You always have the right words at the right time. This is genuinely why I tell you this, which personally I think is a positive friend test to see if you  care. And you do. You pass. And you are wise." I stifle a laugh. "For a 17 year old that's pretty impressive."

"Geez thanks, Autumn," Tricia says, giggling.

We talk for another hour before I hang up, each of us blowing a raspberry to each other through the phone.

I admittedly have a new blooming sense of courage--thanks to Tricia-- and feel that leftover weight lift off my chest.

I set my phone on my bedside table, making sure it's charging. After pulling my arm away, it accidently hits a picture frame that leans over the edge, threatening to fall, but I quickly swooped it up before it could reach its doom.

The picture momentarily takes my breath away. I tell myself calmly how to breathe, regaining my composure before studying the photo.

It's a picture of my mom, dad, and mini me when I was five. My mom is wearing a floral dress that hugs her curves tightly, a bright smile I thought lit up the world. A smile that was most likely the sun, while the real thing was just a decoy so no one knew the real truth. As for dad, he wore a sky blue button up shirt with beige slacks. His hazel eyes twinkle dangerously, as if hinting they hold a secret know one else knew. Those hazel eyes I used to believe held magic before they went out forever the night of the crash.

I blink back the growing tears in my eyes, refusing to let another drop fall.

Putting the picture back where it used to stand proudly, I shakenly deliver it back to its rightful position and will myself to sleep.  

Shutting my eyes, I drift off into sleep when I hear a voice.

"It's okay, Autumn. It's okay to cry. I cry too." It's mom's voice. Almost as if she's heard my continuous cries she's now wound up in my head.

I reach out to her but it fades. Replacing her is dad.

"Dad?" I ask nervously, not trying to get my hopes up.

"Autumn, sweetie," calls dad's deep but strong voice.

"Dad!" I cry, trying to run to him but can't.

"Sweetheart, don't blame your mother for my death like everyone else. It wasn't her fault. I love her dearly, you just as much, please don't put her in more pain. I-- I was--"

His image is cut off like a TV losing its signal. I scream for him to come back but it's useless. He's gone.

I have this unwelcome pit in my stomach, and immediately sprint to the restroom toilet, puking into the water.

Mom, hearing me run through the halls, comes bursting through the doors, her eye bags growing tired by the second.

"Mom, I, I.." I don't finish this sentence, for another urge to vomit sprouts from the remains of the old one. Next thing I know, I'm crying again. Note to self: vomit and tears DO NOT mix.

Mom rubs my back, her voice soothing me as she tries to get me to calm down. She clears her throats and begins to sing a song I'm all to familiar with. A song both my parents used to sing to me when I was sick or in great need for their company.

 "Hush now, season tidings, don't be afraid,  

good things will come, to those who wait.

Not everything in life, goes exactly how you plan.

Don't let this drag you down, into despair.

Rise above the ashes, you'll remain abloom.

Your life is worth living, like everyone could see.

Rise above the ashes, you'll remain abloom.

Open your shut eyes, look beyond your sight,

Never listen to those who lie, but you never know.

Rise above the ashes, you can never lose.

Rise above the ashes, you'll remain abloom."

My tears have come to a stop, but start up again when it hits me just how long it's been since I've heard those lyrics. It's not the full song, but it hit me directly in the heart; a swirl of emotions-love and grief-swarming through my pulse.

I recall the day my mom and dad sang it to me, the day after my dad had finally came out after being pent up in their room where I later learned he had been composing it all along.

"Hush, darling," mom coos. "Your mother is here for you. I won't leave you, don't worry. I love you, Autumn."

I whimper like a wet dog, clinging to my mom like a child. "I love you too, mom, and so does dad."

I look up into her eyes and find them getting teary, her eyes sparkling from the water. I watch her lips as they quiver and form into her old, radiant smile. I smile seeing this and she lightly kisses my forehead, the mood automatically lifted.

In more ways than one, it's safe to say we both rose above our ashes, easing our way into new roots. This was the point she was trying to get to me all along, and I couldn't help but smile as I hugged her tighter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is Chapter 4!

Admittedly, ending these chapters are proving to be quite the challenge, but only because I haven't built up the perfect scenario just yet.

Autumn and her mom will be trying out seeing a therapist together now, a new step in their relationship.

Will Xernex keep making forward advances onto Autumn, or will she push him back? What about Autumn asking her mom about what her dad was trying to say?

Stay tuned my lovely readers! (: