Blake gave Rena space for a few days.  They both knew they had a lot to work through.  Rena was sleep deprived, wanted a man that was engaged and knew she had to get back to New York as soon as possible before she wrecked Courtney's life.  It was the middle of the day and she couldn't bring herself to get up.  She lay in bed staring at the ceiling.  Clarissa passed by Rena's room and was surprised to see her there and not at the restaurant.  She stepped in through the door.

"Are you feeling okay, Rena?"

"As well as can be expected."

"This must have something to do with Blake.  Is it just now hitting you that he's engaged?"

Rena chuckled. Lord, how she wished that was her only problem.  Blake consumed her and she wasn't sharing that with anyone.  He was in her every thought.  She felt him in every dream. 

"I want the best for him and I don't know how to make that possible."

"Because you understand that no matter what you do for Blake, even with your best intentions in mind, somebody is going to get hurt."

Rena nodded.

Clarissa sat on the bed next to Rena.  She held her hand.  For the first time in a very long time, Rena remembered the gentleness of her mother's hand.  She remembered the warmth of her hand stroking her back on a tough day, to point a finger when she needed correcting and to wipe a tear away after a bruised knee. 

Rena found herself in a vortex of memories of a loving mother.  She found herself leaning on Clarissa's shoulder just like she used to.  Clarissa was so surprised, her only response was to cry.  They both cried a long, relieving cry that would wash away years of misunderstanding and bitterness. 

When they recovered, Clarissa hugged Rena as tightly as she could. "That's what I did for you.  I wanted the best for you and I didn't know how to make that possible without somebody getting hurt."

Rena slipped out of her embrace and kissed her mother.  "Avery said something at the park the other day.  It must have been true."

"What did Avery say, baby?"

"Avery said that there were rumors that you and Dad didn't have a bitter divorce, and the reason you sent me away had nothing to do with Ian and you not loving me.  She said you wanted Dad to go to New York."

"I did."

Rena felt as if a millstone had smashed her.  The gravity of her perceived life was crumbling all around her.  She had so many questions, but she waited for her mother to speak.

"Before I tell you what happened, Rena, outside of Blake, what do you honestly think of your life?  I want you to tell me the absolute truth."

Rena could immediately see pieces of an awful puzzle snapping into place in a beautiful way.  "I love my life, plain and simple.  I am more successful than I ever imagined.  Avery put it this way, she said, and I quote, 'You have the world at your feet.'  I'm confident.  I'm bold.  I'm outspoken.  I have wealth.  I'm well appreciated in my industry and I have made a mark in this world.  I couldn't be more proud of myself and I don't mean that in a bragging way."

Clarissa couldn't stop crying.  Rena fully understood why.  She was the sacrifice.  She was the one that stood to get hurt for the greater good.  Now she needed Clarissa to tell her what drove that very hard and costly decision that was still rippling twenty years later.  Rena held her mother and kissed away her tears.

"Rena, I am so very sorry for what our decision did to you."  Rena nodded in understanding.  "I loved your father more than anything in the world.  We were so happy together.  One of the things that made us happy was our dream of moving to New York.  I met your father in high school.  We both worked for the school newspaper and were on the journalism team.  Both of us loved reporting and creating stories and wanted to become big-time writers."

"Dad made it to The New Yorker."

"Absolutely.  From the day we met, to the day we married, to the day we had Ian and you, we never had any intentions of staying in Savannah.  Every time we'd try to go to New York something would happen.  We'd try again and fail.  All the while we were working in your grandmother's restaurant, your father did freelance writing that eventually got syndicated."

Rena couldn't believe what she was hearing.  She knew that her father had told her thousands of times that her mother never hated her, but he would never tell her the whole story and now she was beginning to see why.

"As long as your father's work was in syndication he was content.  He wasn't where he wanted to be but he was content.  But we were both still determined to go to New York.  Your grandmother never wanted me to leave Savannah.  She said that she established the restaurant for our family.  That caused a great bit of division between my mother and me.  I wanted my own dreams.  I didn't mind running the restaurant.  I just didn't want to be tied down to it, sort of like Ian.  I knew she was going to leave the restaurant to me when she died.  Just before that happened, The New Yorker saw your father's syndicated articles and offered him a job.  They gave him a few weeks to make a decision."

Rena began to cry.  This was so painful.  All of those years of anger and hurt and everything that happened was for her Dad and her.  If her mother loved her father nearly a fraction as much as she loved Blake, she knew the decision to let her Dad go had to have killed her.

"Your father told me, 'I'm not going to take the job.'  And for those few weeks I could see him fading.  He was willing to sacrifice everything for me.  I told him that he had done enough and that we all deserve our dreams.  I knew that a long-distance marriage would never work for us because I felt obligated to keep the restaurant.  That's why I divorced him, but I never stopped loving him and he never stopped loving me."

"Mom, I just don't know what to say.  This is so hard."

"Don't say anything right now, baby, just listen.  Your dad and I knew that we didn't want you trapped in Savannah without the ability to have your own dream.  We weren't worried about Ian because he's different.  He never had the drive that you do.  He'll be okay doing anything.  We knew you loved your grandmother and loved that restaurant. Neither of us wanted what happened to us to happen to you.  We wanted to give you a choice and that's why your dad made you major in the hospitality industry.  He knew how much you loved restaurants, but the hospitality industry would give you so much more.  Plus, if you ever decided to come back home you'd be more than well equipped to run The Chicken and Waffle Inn."

Rena smiled.  "I can see that.  You learn how to run a kitchen, which I already knew, but you also learn so many facets of management, media operations, marketing, buying and event planning."

"We had a plan, Rena, and we knew that plan was going to cost us.  You would have been on a plane back here to Blake if I ever relented.  We knew Blake wanted to be in the restaurant field.  We encouraged him to start his own business because we didn't want him attached to my mother's dream.  We wanted him to have his own dream.  Blake's dad hated me for encouraging the dream.  He resented you because he knew you could tie Blake to the restaurant and any remote chance he may have had for Blake's political aspirations would never happen."

"I hated Mr. Glass for breaking up what we all had together.  Did Blake ever forgive him?

"Yes, in a way, for his mother's sake.  But the sacrifice was worth it because you both became very successful.  I vicariously enjoyed your father's success every time I picked up a New Yorker magazine.  No matter what woman he may have had in his life he never remarried, and he showered me with gifts and money until the day he died.  Over the years I've come to love that restaurant more than anything.  The people of Savannah love the Blackshears and Blake like we are royalty."

"Oh, Mother, this is simply overwhelming in every single way possible."

"I know it's a lot, baby, but it's the truth and it's a pretty darn successful story."

"I'd say so and I will love you for it forever."

Rena spent the rest of the day with Clarissa.  They had so much to catch up on.  It was the best day in both of their lives.  She called and shared the good news with Blake.

"How did it all happen?"

"I'll give you all the details later.  I just want to spend the rest of the day with her.  I'm so wonderfully happy, Blake."

"I know. I hear it in your voice. Can I see you soon?"

"I need a little more time.  We have to figure a way out of this mess without hurting Courtney.  I could never be happy if we hurt her."

"I understand.  We both know the cost of a lifetime of hurt and would not wish that on anyone."

To My Beloved Readers:

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