*Luna*

I sighed as I walked through my front door with Chase and Sarah after dropping Phil off. The conversation at the table left me exhausted, and the rose from Chase left me even more baffled than I already am.

What was that about? Was it to make up for his snarky comments and snickering about the new bar opening downtown?

I don't really know. I sat quietly at the table, deep in thought, twirling the flower with my fingers. And then a moment later Chase strode into the kitchen wearing a set of black boxers and a white T-shirt. "Are you going to..."

"Stay down here all night?" I supplied, resting my cheek on my palm. I had no idea how to prepare myself for another conversation about our future when my mind was in a daze. I'd lie on the couch and daydream right now if I could, but that would raise suspicion. Luckily Sarah fell asleep once she laid down underneath her princess covers.

"I was going to say put the rose in a vase." Chase's eyes narrowed as he gazed at me. "Is everything... okay?"

Not really. My emotions were scattered. The term 'okay' isn't how I'd describe it. I have so many thoughts and feelings going on with me, and I don't know what I should do.

I couldn't help but reminiscence everything Amir and I have been through together. And then I have the guilt I festered up over the past few months eating me alive. I wanted to focus on what I should do, but it was hard when I had other things going on. Chase's hopes were up, and I couldn't discuss anything right now. How can I? He'd be crushed.

I straightened up and nodded back, unable to speak my mind. It was already too late in the evening for me to have a serious conversation anyway. "Listen, I'm sorry if it seemed like I was quiet at dinner. I had-"

"A lot on your mind?" he remarked, his eyes locked on mine. "It's okay. I have a lot on my mind, too. The dinner plans with Phil was last minute, but he and I had to discuss some important stuff regarding the funding from our clients." He tilted his head to the side. "And please, disregard what I said about that new bar. Phil and I won't even attempt to go inside." He snickered and winked my way.

"You and Phil..." How was I supposed to respond to that? Was he continuing making jokes about it after handing me a rose like on The Bachelor? The sarcasm part of me came out in a heartbeat. "You and Phil should go. Please. Have fun. Whatever you want."

"That's not it," he mumbled, sliding into the chair next to mine. Then he reached for my hand with a tiny grin on his lips. "Since Phil is my best man, we were discussing plans for my bachelor night. That's all."

"All right." I shook my head and chuckled. "Then that's the best place to enjoy your night. You should definitely go." I wasn't jealous or irritated that he wanted to go to that kind of bar, but he annoyed me by his snarky actions involving it. It's unsettling.

"Nah. I think Phil is planning something bigger. Besides, we still haven't set our wedding date. Even the venue isn't settled. Those things come first before planning our bachelor and bachelorette nights. Don't you think?"

I smiled faintly, hoping he doesn't notice my anxiety I had swirling beneath my skin. We haven't set anything up and our families are constantly asking us about it, especially his family who want us to get married in a huge cathedral they attend. I have nothing against marrying in a church, but I don't want his family to control things after organizing it. "Wouldn't it be best to plan it now? That way we can spread the good news."

"If that would make you happy," I replied, looking down in my lap. At least he was involved with the planning process.

"Great." I kept my head down and toyed with the stem of the rose, thinking about Amir and how it felt to see him at dinner. Last thing I wanted to do late at night was discuss my wedding when my mind wasn't there. "So, let's get the wedding venue out of the way first. We'll look at the places we both have in mind and go from there."

Chase's smile was infectious, but Amir's was breathtaking. Thinking of him caused many emotions to flutter inside my chest, so I cleared my head and glanced down at the list Chase pulled out, hoping a little distraction will ease the knot forming in my stomach. We chatted for a little while about where he wouldn't mind getting married at, my eyes locking with his. A couple of times, he'd take my hand and bring it to his lips, kissing it, just like Amir. God, he does things to me that Amir does. And neither one of them can stop touching me. Chase seemed to not care about how distant I'd been, but I know he could tell I was distracted.

Of course, I was distracted. I couldn't help it. Amir's well-defined and sharp jaw with angular cheekbones came to mind. The complexion of his skin was a soft honey-brown color with his caramel-colored eyes in the shape of beautiful jewels that I could get lost into for hours on end. His eyes spoke of his beautiful soul, and his aura was like the sun. He can have people drawn to him, orbiting around him, some being so close that it burned them, and some being so far away they immediately felt colder because they weren't closer. The lucky ones were in the perfect distance to feel his warmth peacefully. In one way or another all the people that graced his path couldn't stay away for too long. He was the brightest person you could ever meet.

And me? Well, in his little System, I was Venus: a fiery, hot planet who couldn't stop spinning in circles around him. Once our souls connected, they were like the planets—spinning around each other like nothing else mattered.

And Chase... Well, he isn't unattractive. He is. He may have an arrogant and pretentious side to him, but he always apologizes to anyone who he thinks he offended. Speaking of which-the rose. I still had it in my hand as I sat here, gazing at his finely carved chiseled cheeks that were shaped like a Michelangelo statue. His nose was perfectly symmetrical with lips that were slightly full: the kind that ends in a cute little smirk at the corners. The bright light above us highlighted the tiny dimples in his cheeks as his lips were pink and puffy like berries, and his cologne was as strong as midnight sex.

His big blue eyes were opened as he concentrated on the notepad he pulled out to go over wedding venues. His frame was firm and perfectly fit as speckles of sweat dripped off his blond strands onto his neck. When he'd brush his skin against mine, it was soft and gentle, but also engaging. I inched away to reach for my bottle of sweet tea and then nodded while he pointed at locations he'd written down.

I barely agreed on anything coming from his mouth. Occasionally I nodded back and watched his lips running a thousand miles a minute. He really wanted to push the venue to be close to a bayou, but I insisted that wasn't a good idea, because of the mosquitoes. That part was true. He frowned, and I could see the disappointment spread onto his face. He wants us to set the wedding venue—like now—not tomorrow. What's the rush?

Taking a deep breath, I moved an inch closer, giving him a soft smile. "Listen, I know you want to plan everything in one night, but I'm exhausted. I've had a long day. Could we talk about this tomorrow?"

His lashes lowered as he exhaled a deep breath. "Okay. But only if you promise that we will? I know you have a lot going on, but I just want you to have the wedding of your dreams. You understand that, right?"

I nodded and glanced away. Then I brought my attention back to him. "I know. But you know there's still plenty of time to plan everything."

Chase leaned in, his breath cool on my cheeks. A peppermint smell. "I know there is plenty of time, but we should plan quickly. I want to call you my wife."

I narrowed my eyes, not sure how I feel about that, at least not in this moment in time. Glancing back at him, his blue eyes darkened. He wanted a reply after his last sentence, but that was something I couldn't think about now. Since meeting Amir, my world has changed. But my feelings for Chase were changed before that moment. I only agreed to marry him because he surprised me when I least expected it. We also had people urging for us to tie the knot, and all that pressure was barring down on me. But I did love him when he did propose. I still do, but marriage is a bigger step in life. And it takes a lot of planning and compromise to make everything work.

Now didn't seem right to follow through with it, and it wasn't fair on anybody. Choices must be made before I move forward with this wedding. Though, I am also taking in Chase's feelings because we have been together for nearly six years, and Sarah sees him as her father; she has known nothing else. Her biological father passed away the day she was born, and Chase had always seen her as his own daughter.

My emotions are like charging horses that pull in opposite directions, and I can't abandon one no more than I could a child. Every one of them was important and vital to my soul. The only option I have is to find a way for them to come together and charge in the same direction. I don't know how to do that.

In my life, timing hadn't always been the best for me, and Amir and I connected at an unexpected time. I wasn't counting on being in this predicament between these two. I wanted to sort out my feelings more. And I definitely don't want to marry Chase while being in love with someone else, even if I never meet him.

I brought my gaze to meet Chase's.
"I promise. We will plan our wedding soon. Okay?" I had to say something to ease his mind. He is adamant about getting it done right away, which wasn't a horrible thing, but planning a wedding takes time and patience. And tonight wasn't the night for planning.

Chase sat back, nodding slowly. "All right." He smiled and placed a soft kiss on top of my forehead. Then he hopped up from the table and strode toward the refrigerator.

Pulling out a bottle of wine, he poured himself a glass and then looked my way. "Want some?" he asked as I stayed still in my seat. I shook my head and looked down at the rose in my hand. "I just wanted to say that you look really beautiful holding the rose between your fingers. I'm surprised it hadn't withered away by not being in water."

"Oh. Sorry." My voice cracked. I'd forgotten to place it into one of the many vases I have lying around. I love to garden, and I'm always pulling flowers from my field to fill them. Flowers were the key to my heart, and roses are my favorite, aside from sunflowers. Amir hands me sunflowers from time to time.

Chase stepped away from the counter and walked over to the side door, stepping out onto the back porch. Julius and Otis ran behind him, and he leaned down to pet their ferocious and high-spirted bodies.

I exhaled a deep breath and hopped up, reaching for a clear V-shape vase that was beside the sink. After filling it with water, I placed the rose inside it. The smell from the rose was overwhelmingly fragrant, like I was standing near a rose garden itself. It was a sweet smell, like candy apples that filled the room with a pleasant scent. I gazed down at it as I settled it onto the windowsill above the sink. I kept thinking about the rose in Beauty and the Beast.

Similar to the story, the wilting flowers symbolize my life right now. I have little time to figure things out before the last petal falls, or it'll be too late by then. There's no turning back, even if I wanted to. Decisions are rarely a fork of two pathways, yet when one opens their eyes a little wider, other pathways appear. And the right path isn't going to just illuminate it for the soul to walk upon it. You have to tread carefully with every decision you make. And I don't want to make the wrong decision to feel regret wash over me like long waves on a shallow beach. Each wave would be an icy cold feeling and all I would feel is cold shivers flowing down my spine. I don't want a moment in time to pop up and I find myself longing to go back and take a different path, knowing it was impossible. I wouldn't be able to make it right, and I'd always feel a sense of remorse eat me up every day. It'll be exhausting.

"Hey, Lu?" Chase murmured behind me, causing me to roll my eyes. How hard was it to call me by my actual name? It's two syllables, and it's easy. He does it in purpose.

"Yeah?" I said, glancing his way. He then stood still against the doorway.

"I was thinking," he said, turning his neck to the field behind our house. "Maybe we could have our wedding here. You know, out in the back yard. I could mow it and hang some lights for decoration. Maybe throw up a large tent and grab some long tables for the reception."

"You want to have our wedding here?" I asked after wiping my hands on my wash cloth. He nodded.

"Why not? It's perfect. I don't know why I didn't think about it before. We could do it in the late afternoon before the sun sets in."

I sauntered toward him and gazed outside. As much as I wouldn't mind getting married here, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about Amir. That's the exact location we first met, and he would always pop up in my mind.

Feeling Chase's arms wrap around my waist, he rested his chin on my shoulder, eyes focused on the tall grass. "Wouldn't it be wonderful to hold it here? It'll also save us money putting a deposit down on anywhere else."

"Chase-"

"I know. I know. Money isn't a big thing for us, but I know how much you like being in the back. I was thinking of you."

"I don't know..."

"Think about it." He let go and stepped around my frame, then grabbed his drink and took another sip. "I just thought, maybe, I could throw you the wedding you've always dreamed of. We wouldn't invite a lot of people, but it'll be up to you. I'm sure we could make it work."

Making it work wasn't the issue. Going through with the wedding was. My heart was torn right now, and sometimes I pondered whether other people knew how I felt, too; if they'd been in the same scenario as me. I tilted my head up and gazed at the bright stars in the sky, wondering how Amir was spending his day. It's daytime in Pakistan, and I want to meet him, see him in person, but the timing has to be just right. This field brought up many memories of us, so getting married here wouldn't do anything but bring me down.

Chase laid a hand on my shoulder and distracted me from my thoughts. "When it's daylight, we should come out here and get a clear view. I'm about to take a shower and head to bed. You coming?"

"Yeah. I'll be right behind you in a sec. I'm going to feed the dogs, and then go inside."

"Sure. Love you, Lu." I gave him a soft smile and kissed his cheek, then turned toward the dog bowls and picked them up.

After waltzing into the pantry, I filled the bowls up with dog food and laid them back down near the steps. Then I sat down on the swing and rested my chin on my knee as the swing swayed slowly.

The sweet rain-washed air drifted my way, hitting against my skin as I watched my pets scarf down their food. Several long moments had passed as I struggled to stay awake. The events of today weighed too heavily on me, and finally I succumbed to the blissful atmosphere as I reclined and let the swing sway gently from the light breeze. Lying out here, I found myself relaxed and calm, not focusing on anything but a peaceful sleep.

***

This story goes beyond a simple choice. There are things that happen that turn this story around. And it is not solely about kicking Chase to the curb. If you stick around until the end, everything will make more sense. Trust me. To find out what happens, continue reading. 😏

Continue reading and get to the 20s, and I guarantee you that everything changes. Your feelings will alter. 😳

I would like to say THANK YOU to each and every one of you for reading my book and making it this far. I love all my readers, even the silent ones. You guys are the best!❤