She brushed a light kiss to his stubbled jaw. "Thank you." She wiped away the light lipstick imprint left across his skin.

"You sure you'll be okay?" Riaz was forced to speak a little louder as the bus pulled away from the bus stop, leaving behind it a trail of exhaust fumes.

"Yes." She smiled up at him, reluctant to let go of his arm that she had used as support moments earlier. "I just need to think about everything for a while."

She watched him walk away before she turned around, heading towards the beach. Her mind was in turmoil. It was battling with her, prompting her to believe and disbelieve her granny's words all at the same time. She was angry, upset, sad and lost and she didn't know what to do with those feelings. She had always suspected her father of having an affair but to have her suspicions validated was a blow to her that she never saw coming. If he had a son with her a few months before Tasneem was born, it could only mean that her father had been sleeping around with another woman for almost 3 years. Every single memory of the man had become tainted with an odd sort of bitterness. All those times he had laughed with her mother and pretended to be a happy family had been nothing but a lie. He was already in love with someone else and his laughter and smiles had only been a ruse so that she would never suspect anything.

She didn't want to feel this dislike coursing through her mind at the thought of the man but she couldn't help it. She couldn't help but blame him- if only just a little- for leaving her behind. For leaving her with a brother who broke her and a mother who didn't care. She hated the thought of hating him but she couldn't stop herself. She wanted to go back to feeling what she felt the day before. She wanted to feel nothing for him once again because feeling nothing for him hurt less than feeling angry.

She knew it was rude of her to leave her grandmother's house before she could finish but she couldn't sit there a moment longer. She felt as if she was suffocating with the rush of feelings anchoring her heart to her stomach. She needed to be away from that house.

She slipped her white Tomys off her feet, tucking her anklets into the front of each shoe before she stepped foot onto the damp sand. It was busier than usual considering it was a Sunday but she didn't mind. She could forget everything as she watched young couples hold hands and steal small kisses before giant waves broke over them. She could laugh at little kids tottering around in their underwear as they dug holes in the ground for no reason other than to make a mess. She could forget about her father amidst laughs and squeals and yells and shouts. She could forget about her anger as the roaring ocean captured every ounce of her attention- entrancing her as nothing else ever could. The simple motion of the waves ebbing and flowing was a timeless one yet it was constant. It never stopped.

The waves never failed to kiss the shore each minute of the day.

Harmony.

That's what they were. They were the one thing so many people craved. They destroyed their souls begging for peace and yet even the tattered wisps of their beings would never come close to tasting it.

She stood up, dusting the grains of sand that had clung to her skirt before walking slowly towards the water. She ignored all the patrons in her way, stepping subconsciously over ill-build castles and shallow holes in her quest to meet the sea. She needed to remember those memories so precious to her without having them be tainted by her father's indiscretions. She wanted to remember the times he lifted her above the waves, kissing her cheeks soundly as she yelped at its icy droplets. She wanted to remember something- anything.

But she couldn't.

She stood in the water, barely noticing the way the waves crashed against her lower legs, allowing the bottom of her skirt to stick uncomfortably to her skin. She waited, for something to happen but nothing did.

She couldn't take back the words her grandmother spoke no matter how hard she tried and for the first time in her life, she began to despise the feeling of the water colliding with her legs.

She was being irrational and stupid but for once she wanted to forget reason and logic and live in her own convoluted thoughts. She wanted to abandon goodness and consideration and more than anything she just wanted to be selfish.

Why didn't he fight for her?

Why didn't he come back for her?

Wasn't she important enough that he would come back?

But the more she thought it, the more she hated feeling selfish. Those selfish thoughts crushed her heart like no other and she didn't want it anymore.

She turned around, craving the safety of their flat and the security she found when she was with Riaz.

She needed her home.

She walked towards the rocky outcrop separating the beach from the pavement, never realising that he was waiting for her.

She looked up, her eyes meeting his.

She was home.

And her heart started beating normally once again...

...

They had lined their chairs to face the window, resting their feet on the window ledge as they looked up at the clouds passing through the night sky. It was late but it was too hot for any of them to find sleep just yet. She was chewing on a stick of liquorice when she saw him wrap his hand around the arm rest of her chair to pull her just a little closer to him.

She looked to her left, her eyes widening in amusement as she watched him pretend he had never done anything at all. She shifted right to the edge of her seat, till she could feel his arm brush against hers before she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Do you want some?" She held out her packet to him.

"It's empty." He pointed out, his lips pulling into the smallest of smiles as he handed her packet back to Tasneem.

"No it-" She looked down into the packet, scratching her cheek in confusion. She was so sure there was an entire packet.

She almost yelped as she felt his hand tighten around her own, bringing the liquorice closer to his mouth before taking a bite out of it.

"That wasn't very nice." She tsked, trying hard to hide her smile.

"No?" He looked straight ahead, chewing thoughtfully as he feigned innocence.

"No." She laid her head back against his shoulder, "But I'll let it slide this time." She held out her hand out for him to take the rest. His fingers brushed against her own as he took the little half stick into his hands, allowing her to remember what his hands felt like on other places along her body. His hands were gentle even though they engulfed hers and when he touched her, he touched her as if she was precious. His touch spoke of his love and his adoration and for that she loved him over and over again. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we had gotten married for real?"

He looked down at her, surprised at the question.

"Just say I really did wear a beautiful dress and you wore a suit. Could you imagine it?" She carried on talking as he thought about it, trying hard to transform her hidden dreams into words. "Just imagine we weren't running away. Imagine we weren't wearing jeans and shirts and that you wore a black suit and I wore a white dress."

He looked back out the window, trying to see what it was that she saw in her mind.

"We weren't riding a bus and we had celebrated our wedding with our families. Imagine that we were happy and my mother hugged you while your mother hugged me. Imagine we sat on covered chairs and I held your hand without anyone knowing. We'd eat but I would be too nervous to finish my food and maybe I'd take my veil off because it was beginning to itch my neck." She looked up at the sky, smiling at what had never been yet smiling for the feelings it had awoken within her. "You'd have gotten a haircut." She teased, running her fingers lightly over the short, scruffy hair at the base of his neck.

"We would have gotten rings too. They would have been silver because I like silver more than gold. Or maybe white gold. We would have been happy and I wouldn't have been able to keep my eyes of you the entire time." She blushed, embarrassed to have admitted it out loud. "And when it was time to go," She rested her head against his arm, her hands sliding down his warm skin to find his fingers, "My mum would have hugged me. She would have told me she loves me and then she would have whispered something absurd in my ear that would make me blush to the tips of my toes."

She felt herself flush at her own thoughts- thoughts of what her wedding night might have been had they been different people.

"And when we left, you'd hold my hand and walk me to the door of the car and open it, helping me with my humongous dress." She rolled her eyes, feeling naïve at the buries dream of wearing a big white dress. "And you'd walk around to the other side, opening the door slowly before you got in next to me and we'd go to..." She was glad he was looking away when she spoke, unable to see the impish grin on her face, "Wherever it is and when we got to our room..."

She cut herself off, too shy to continue knowing how intimate those details might be.

He looked down at her, crooking his eyebrow as he waited for her to continue yet her mouth remained sealed.

"And when we got to our room?" He prodded, trying to get her to continue yet she only shook her head, unwilling to divulge the thoughts running through her head.

"And when we got to our room, I'd stop you as soon as I closed the door." His voice was soft and caused something strange to happen to her as she listened to him, "I'd kiss you slowly because I'd have been dying to kiss you since I first saw you in your humungous white dress." He teased, pleased to see her reaction.

"I'd kiss you till you couldn't breathe properly and without you knowing it, I'd slide the zip down your back because I'd want to touch you but all that material would only be in the way."

He could feel her breath changing, deepening the more she tried to imagine it with him.

"The dress would fall slowly, first dropping off your shoulders then sliding softly down your chest," Her hand tightened around his own as his voice softened to a bare whisper against her ears, keeping this moment between the two of them alone. "I'd touch your hands, your arms," His lips kissed her earlobe with every word he spoke, "Your shoulders," She felt shivers run down her neck as his words dropped to mere breaths against her skin.

"I'd kiss you again as your dress falls so you don't feel shy in front of me." She could feel the way his pulse quickened beneath her fingertips as they rub over his wrist, "You never, ever have to feel shy in front of me." He caught a glimpse of her smile from the corner of his eye, "I'd kiss every part of you that I could reach before your knees touch the bed behind you, but you wouldn't be scared and as you lay down- all soft skin and beautiful curves in front of me." She felt butterflies in her stomach, his words evoking a feeling she had never thought existed.

"I'd dim the lights before laying besides you. I would be gentle, I swear I would be gentle when I make l-"

She placed her fingertips before his mouth unable to hear a word more as she shook her head.

"No." Her words were pained and her voice was hoarse as she pressed her fingers against his lips, "Please, no." He looked down at her, noting the way her chest heaved, her flushed face and the way her eyes pinched closed as she silently pleaded for him to stop.

No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams. You will go,

We will go together, over the waters of time.

No one else will travel through the shadows with me,

Only you.

She looked up as she heard him kneel before her, towering over her, as he took both her hands in his own. "You need to listen to me, Little Bee." He asked gently, "Please."

She nodded her head, trying hard to forget her embarrassment. She was frigid and nervous and she was embarrassed to have reacted as she just did.

"I will wait for you for as long as you need me to." He brushed his thumb over her knuckles, "But you need to know something," he licked his lips, "It's not a bad thing to want to feel good with someone. When it happens, I want you to be there with me. I want you to be in that moment with me and feel what I'm feeling." He raised her hand, lying her palm against his heart, allowing her to feel his erratic heartbeat. "You do this to me Tasneem and when I touch you I want you to know that I'm not touching you to own you or to possess you," He heard her soft gasp at his words. "When I touch you, it's because it's the only way I know how to show my love for you."

No one else will travel through the shadows with me,

Only you.

Evergreen, ever sun, ever Moon.

She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, looking at him as if it were the first time she had truly noticed him. His words played around her heart as if it were a melody composed just for her.

He would show her his love for her.

He would love her in a way she had never been loved before.

She shifted in her seat, resting her chest against his own as she pressed against him. She was sure he would feel her- nothing was hidden from his touch beneath her thin vest and pants.

She could feel his lips against her own as she leaned forward, her tongue swiping across her bottom lip- his gasp denoting that it had swept across his lip as well. "You do this to me." She whispered, guiding his hand to rest over her heart. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips, her breath stolen from her as his hand curled over the soft flesh above her heart.

What are you doing to me?

She kissed him fervently, delighting in the response she felt from him- the way his muscles tensed behind his neck, the way his lips softened against her own, the way his arm wrapped around her waist pulling her to the very edge of her seat, his own body her only anchor in keeping her upright.

You drive me crazy!

He moved to rest on his knees, pulling her just enough so that she fell in his lap- never once breaking their kiss. This was new to her- Her heart pounded so hard in her chest that it began to hurt. Her head felt blank and the only thing running through it was the way he made her feel as he held her, touched her, kissed her. His thumb dipped beneath the scooped collar of her vest, teasing the skin beneath it as he unwound her hair from her bun, running his hands through it.

She felt hot and cold and dizzy and balanced and most of all-

As his lips brushed softly against her jaw, she felt free.

Completely free

She leaned back, her chest meeting his own every alternate second as she tried to catch her breath. Her eyes were still heavy and her lips were red and swollen as she smiled at him.

"Will you do something?"

"What?"

She ran her hand through his hair, smoothing it down as she pressed a quick kiss to his lips once more.

"Finish your story..."

There are countries, there are rivers in

your eyes,

My country is your eyes,

I walk through them,

They light the world

through which I walk,

Lovely one.

Lovely one,

Your breasts are like two golden loaves made

Of grainy earth and golden moon,

Lovely one.

Lovely one,

Your waist,

My arm shaped it like a river when

It flowed a thousand years over your sweet body

Lovely one.

Lovely one, my lovely one,

Always,

When you are near or far,

Always,

You are mine, my lovely one,

Always.

A/N- The poems used in this chapter were adapted from Lovely One and Sonnet Lxxxi by Pablo Neruda.