Desi chhori ka videshi chhora
By Jaanvi_Singhania

-Plot
It was good but mostly a used topic!
Swara being desi girl was nice and Sanskar being an NRI,it was also good

-description of the scene
It was highly lacking description of the scene like there wasn't any detailed description when sanskar returned and when swara and sanskar met him the scene should be something magical!! But no it was too simple expected better more like how exactly he felt and also swara's feelings were also not a detailed one! And there were some humour in between which is been handled beautifully!! Childhood love... Here too wanted something description with some more scenes

-descriptive thoughts
It was ok...
This story could also have applied in self thoughts(in some parts)
Just one simple dialogue about missing each other or about love, i didn't feel any intensity in it!
You could have portrayed it because your story didn't had any other thing then swara and Sanskar's love story!

-Character exploration
It was nice.. Swara's character was been explored,good.
But.. But it could have been best!!and Sanskar's character exploration was lacking. And also you haven't concentrated on other characters much..

-dialogue delivery
Swara's desi dialogues were nice..
There wasn't any heart touching Dialogues
Like if we read any story, a mark remains in reader's heart and mind i.e.. dialogues. A quality of impressed!!
There wasn't such dialogues,you could have added it at the time of their meet and also at the times of Proposal,you had chances to add some

-Introduction
Introduction was quite good with some reality how we Indian's actually try to bargain!

-Ending
This was not proper
As needed some scenes of how their parents agreed and also after married life was missing!! Just some scenes would have worked!

-Title
It was good..

-cover
It was simple and good

All in all
Story was good but you could have made it best

Sorry my intention isn't to hurt you, i said whatever i felt
You have the potential and also you have best humour sense
Just some workings needed!!
-shruthi