Maddy

I'm finishing stitching up one of my men's bathing suits that I've been making Max try on for me. He's given me decent feedback on them, but he's no fashion major. He'll wear anything that fits him. Natasha laughs, "Hold still, Max," she says. He's letting her pluck his eyebrows. "You almost pulled out my brain just now," he says, exaggerating. She snorts and the room gets quiet besides the sound of my sewing machine. "Ow, ow!" Max winces. I smile at the sound of his pain and finish up the last corner on the bathing suit.

It's almost seven pm and since it's Friday and my day off, I've been working on my bathing suits. I turn my vanity off and jump up on my empty bed. Max lays with his head in Nat's lap. He notices the sound of my sewing machine turning off and lifts his head. I haven't been able to see him all week because he's been busy with football practices and class and I have work and class as well.

The first day I went to Los Angeles with a couple of friends, he texted me and said he wanted to talk to me about something. It's been two weeks and I still don't know what that something is. I haven't really been thinking about it much, luckily, but I told him to come over and help me and then he could tell me what's been going on. I lay on my bed, my body facing Nat's bed. They both sit up now. "So what's up?" I say.

I don't really care what he says in front of Nat since she's been my friend since freshman year. She knows a lot about me and vice versa. Anything I've told Max, she probably knows too. His face is rarely straight and it is right now, so I can't figure out what bomb he's about to drop on me. Usually, I can tell whether it's bad just by reading his facial expression, and well, it looks like it's going to be terrible. I swear it better not ruin my whole night.

"Josephine's been texting me," he says quickly. My mouth slowly gapes, Natasha's does too. "What, why?" My voice comes out shaky and I internally cringe. He shrugs, "She's been asking about you. She's texted me like at least once every day since before you left for LA," he tells me. I clench my jaw angrily. "Why hasn't she just texted you. ." Natasha asks. I roll my eyes, pushing my hair behind my shoulders. "I blocked her on everything," I retort.

Josephine or Jo is my cousin. Or sister, according to the law. I stand by the statement that I've always said. I have no siblings. It's not like my mom gave birth to her. She's the daughter of my mom's sister, Julia, who got sent to prison a couple of years ago. She was embezzling money. My mom took in Jo when she was sixteen and I was seventeen. They treated her more like a daughter than they ever did me which made me grow a hatred for her. I know it's not her fault that her shitty mom went to jail, but she made my life miserable.

By this time, I was already used to not meaning anything to my parents. Although I was jealous that Jo was getting their attention more than I ever did, I still didn't hate her. I hate her now because she was an absolute bitch to me. When my parents cared and listened more to her, she'd shove it in my face. She'd say things like, "It's not my fault that you choose not to get along with your parents. Toughen up, Maddy." Despite the closeness in our age, we'd never been close and I'm so fucking grateful for that.

I don't like her and after I moved out to come to college, she's tried to contact me a couple of times. She still lives back home in Texas with my parents. She's tried apologizing multiple times but I hold grudges. If you do shit like what she did to me, chances are, I won't forgive you. Unless you're fucking lucky. She's obviously not.

She's met Max once when I was forced to return to Texas for a couple of days. I didn't want to go alone, so I brought him with me and he met my family. She followed him on social media on the ride back home, he told me. He doesn't talk to her or anything but obviously, she's been asking about me.

"She's been asking me how you're doing since you haven't talked to your parents in a while and they're not paying for your classes anymore. I told her you're okay, but that's about it," he shrugs. I pinch the bridge of my nose in annoyance. I can't believe she has the audacity to text my best friend who she made very clear to me that she found extremely attractive. I roll my eyes at the thought. "Give me your phone." I hold my hand out to him. There's no way I'm going to unblock her for even a little bit. He hesitates and pulls it out, stretching his body a little over Nat's bed to hand it to me. I unlock it, knowing his password, and open Instagram.

I scroll a couple of times before finding her name. "Don't look at my unopened messages," he whispers. I look at him, "I won't." I scroll up the conversation and read the messages she's been sending him quickly. I look up to him. "Why is she flirting with you? You didn't tell me that!" He holds his hands up in defense, "I didn't flirt back!" I glare at him but then look back at his phone. I would've ended this friendship if he had flirted with her so luckily for me, he didn't.

I press the message box and type.

Max (or Maddy): this is maddy. leave max and me the hell alone dude. i'm ok. stop trying to get info out of max for mom and dad. if they want to know how im doing tell them to call me. or not, cause i won't reply.

I send the message and a green light next to her name appears quickly. She's active. I roll my eyes as three little dots appear. Natasha and Max start talking in a whisper but I don't pay attention to them, waiting for my cousin's reply.

Josephine: Maddy, I'm asking because I want to know. Your parents haven't spoken one word about you. Sorry for caring.

I chuckle angrily and both Nat and Max's attention shifts to me. "What did she say?" Nat asks lowly. I hold a finger up to them like saying wait.

Maddy: lmao, you don't care. literally, never text my friend again or I'll hurt you.

She's one of the few people who don't take offense to my threats. Most of the time I don't mean them, but I will literally kick her ass if she tries ruining anything in my life. Including my friendship with Max. She's the biggest manipulator I know. She doesn't answer after a while and I press on her profile. I smile, victoriously.

I hand Max back his phone. "She blocked you. You're welcome," I say. He takes his phone and shoves it into his pocket. "I knew you'd want to text her which is why I waited until you got home," he says. I nod. "You have to tell me if she ever unblocks you or tries talking to you again," I tell him. He nods assuredly. He knows how I feel about her and how much I want him far from her. I just hate that she texted him, it's still itching at me. I sigh and look at Nat who's now entranced on her phone.

I was thinking about moving out of my dorm next year but there's no way I can do that now without help from my parents. I won't ask them for any help though. One, they probably wouldn't help me. And two, my pride is too huge to ever ask them anyway. It's days like this though that I wish I could be alone. I hate to admit it but I just want to crawl under the covers and cry to drown out the world.

There's nothing worse than having to continue to remove people from your life. Especially when it's family. Even though I always say that they don't feel like family to me doesn't mean that they're not. They are, and I feel like I have none of it left. I really don't besides the two people in front of me. We've been friends for a long time and they both mean the world to me. I can't believe I'm just starting to accept and realize that. A small curve forms on my lips.

My phone vibrates on the bed and I glance at it, picking it up when I see it's Xander.

Xander: I want to see you tonight

Me: nat will be here tonight

Xander: come over, i'll rush u upstairs

Me: and risk it? nope.

Is he crazy?

Xan: *rolling eye emoji* chris is over at nova's tonight and cgc went out.

Me: rhys????

Xan: we went out last night and he's been fighting a hangover all day. he's left his room like three times today.

Me: fine, i'll uber there at 10:30

Xan: ok lmk when ur here still.

Me: yea

I've only seen him twice since coming back home from spring break earlier this week. Maybe this will help me get my mind off everything from today.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶

I spend two more hours with Nat and Max before he left. We never mentioned Josephine again which helped with taking my mind off things. The three of us together, we talk about the most random, stupid shit ever. There's never a dry moment with us which I enjoy.

Xander sent an Uber for me, paying for it himself. I was iffy about it but he said he paid for it since he invited me over. I still don't like it so I'm going to pay him back. I text him that I'm outside and he replies quickly saying he'll get me in a bit, so I wait. When he opens the door, he's shirtless wearing only black sweatpants. He motions me inside with his hand. The house is extremely quiet for a Friday night as we walk quietly upstairs. Passing Rhys' room, I only hear the light, faded sound of a television playing. Both Cgc and Valdez's rooms are dead silent, neither of them home.

I walk into Xander's room first and he shuts and locks the door behind him. I drop the small bag I brought with me— just filled with some things I might need— on his dresser. I plop my ass down on the side of the bed and he towers over me. "Rhys won't come in," he says. He inches closer to me and leans down, placing a kiss on the outside of my lips. I pull him down over me, kissing his mouth this time. He reciprocates the kiss almost immediately, hovering above me.

I grab onto his waist as he parts my lips with his tongue, inviting himself into my mouth. I moan softly at this and he pulls away, looking down at me. "What's wrong?" he asks like he's not the one who pulled away. "What do you mean?" I ask. He shrugs, "You seem off." Shit. How did he notice that? I was too quiet, wasn't I? I furrow my brows, pretending to be confused. "No, I'm okay," I lie, just wanting to forget.

He gets off from me and sits down next to me. I sigh and sit up as well. "Don't lie, Madison," he says. I roll my eyes at my full name, still hating it. He's the only person in the world who calls me that. "I am not lying," I say sternly. He tilts his head and narrows his eyes, studying me. I sit there, in front of him, with my face as straight as ever. "Yeahhh, you're definitely lying," he finally says.

I roll my eyes again and scoff. "It's nothing. I didn't come over to speak to you about my problems, Xander," I say. I came here to have sex with you and forget my problems. Yup, that's why I'm here. He scoots back into his bed, his back leaning up against the headboard. He puts his feet, covered by black Nike socks on my lap. I try to push them off, but he's stronger than me. "Get your feet off me," I pierce him with my eyes. He only grins, "No."

I mistakingly glance at his toned abs, regretting it quickly since my body heats. He wants me to tell him what's wrong, doesn't he? That's why he's being so aggravating. I flip him off and he grabs my finger, throwing my hand to the side. "It's just my sister texted Max and she's fucking annoying and aggravating so I was mean to her and made her block him. Happy?" I say that last word very sarcastically. His facial expression screams confusion. "I thought you were an only kid?" he says. That's right, I've told him that I don't have any siblings. Why the fuck do I even call her my sister?

"I am. She's not my sister sister, she's my cousin, but my parents adopted her so that makes her my sister-cousin I guess," I say. He nods slowly like he's trying to comprehend what I'm saying. This is why I do not talk to people about this shit. It's confusing and ugly. I feel like nobody but me deals with things like this. Ugly things. But then I remember Xander and the fact that he had a father who actually loved him and he lost him. He lost him. Someone who loved him so much was just suddenly gone one day. That's ugly. That's wrong.

"How does she know Max?" he asks.

I sigh. This is an explanation I hate giving.