Trying So Hard
*Thirteen Weeks pregnant*
Stevie and Sara were having a mother daughter day.
They started off at the nail salon. They wanted to match so, they both got their nails painted in Stevie's signature red nail polish. They then had lunch.
They also had a nice shopping trip and Stevie was grateful to not have run into the paparazzi. That was the last thing she needed.
Before Dylan's death, the paparazzi were hounding her to talk about the divorce.
Then a few weeks ago, Lindsey and John had a sit down with a magazine and they spoke about their divorces, Lindsey spoke about Dylan's death and, his wedding to John.
Still Stevie avoided the paparazzi and managed to not give any statement about the divorce. She felt since Lindsey had gone over everything in the interview that had happened, she didn't need to add to it.
In the aftermath of Dylan's death, Stevie was being hounded once again by the paparazzi and was being asked to be interviewed by many magazines and news outlets.
Stevie of course had no desire to speak to anyone. She was still grieving and she all she wants is that the press go away and leave her alone to mourn in peace.
During their shopping trip, Sara was trying to convince Stevie to start shopping for the baby. But for some reason, Stevie didn't want to shop for them just yet.
She wanted to find out the gender first, but also, she was still afraid she would miscarry. That's what mainly stopped her from buying anything for the baby.
She was so afraid that she would lose the baby then she would have all these baby items leftover, haunting her.
Hours later, they arrive at home; they made their way inside and placed their shopping bags down.
Suddenly, Stevie looked up and saw her mother and father standing in front of her.
"Mom! Daddy!" Stevie said with a smile and tears in her eyes. She was so happy to see her parents.
"Surprise!" They said in unison.
Stevie rushed over and hugged first her mother then father. Stevie pulled away and her parents go on to tell her that they wanted to visit for a while.
Christine had known about Barbara and Jess's plan to visit and she had kept quiet because she thought it would be a nice surprise for Stevie.
Jess smiled at his daughter and said. "You look wonderful, Stephanie. I'm so glad to see some life in you, again."
"Your father is right." Barbara said. "You're looking lovely."
Barbara was relieved to see her daughter looking a whole lot better than when she left all those months ago.
"Thanks." Stevie chuckles softly.
Sara happily greets her grandparents then they all gather in the living room.
They all talk about how everyone has been doing. They talk until it was dinner time.
Stevie excuses herself to make everyone dinner. Sara follows her mother into the kitchen.
"Mom, I can make dinner." Sara offers.
"Thank you, Sara for offering. But, I'll make us dinner." Stevie said with a smile. "Go relax and spend time with your grandparents. Oh! Don't say anything yet. I, uh, I'm not ready to tell them about the baby yet."
"Okay, mom." Sara said as she turns to leave. She then turns around again and said. "You are going to tell them soon, right?"
"Yes. I will. Maybe tomorrow." Stevie replied.
Stevie then turns to gather all her ingredients she will need to cook dinner. Sara shrugs her shoulders then leaves back to the living room.
Some time later, Barbara makes her way to the kitchen. Stevie is humming as she cooks and Barbara stares at her for a while.
Barbara could tell there is something going on with her daughter. There's this glow surrounding her and Barbara knows exactly what it is. She's seen it twice before.
"Do you need any help?" Barbara said as she makes her presence known.
"No, thank you, mama." Stevie said. "I got it. You're a guest."
"You know me better than that." Barbara chuckled. "I'm going to help anyway."
Stevie laughed then handed her mother the supplies to make a salad.
They got to work with the rest of dinner in comfortable silence.
Barbara finishes making the salad and puts it into the refrigerator until it was time to eat.
Stevie covered the food to simmer a while longer. A small gasp escaped her lips, her eyes went wide and her hand flew to her belly.
A tear rolled down her cheek and a smile crossed her face. She just felt the baby move; she had been getting worried because the baby had yet to make itself known. Now, relief spread throughout her body. Stevie now was feeling the familiar flutter.
"Stephanie? Are you okay?" Barbara asked as she walked over to her daughter.
Stevie took a second to calm herself. She quickly dropped her hand from her belly and wiped the tear away.
She turned towards Barbara and she had smile on her face. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure, Teedee?" Barbara asks.
"Yes." Stevie said with a wider smile.
"Hmmmm..." Barbara said with sly smile. "Okay, you can tell me later."
"Tell you what?" Stevie asked her smile fading.
"My dear sweet, Teedee." Barbara said with a chuckle. "I'm your mother. I know you are hiding something. Or at least trying to."
Stevie chewed her bottom lip with her head down then she looked up at her mother. She knew her mother knew. Barbara knew when she was pregnant with Sara, then Dylan. Tears appeared once again in her eyes.
"Mama...I'm pregnant." Stevie said, tears rolled down her cheeks.
A smile appeared on Barbara's face. "Oh Teedee! That's wonderful." She said as she hugged her daughter.
Stevie cried onto her mother's shoulder and hugged Barbara tightly. Barbara pulled away once Stevie had calmed down and asked. "Are you happy?"
Stevie nodded and said. "I'm very happy. I love this baby so much already." I can't wait to meet them."
Barbara placed her hand right by Stevie's and felt the small bump. Barbara smiled and asked. "How far along are you?"
"Thirteen weeks." Stevie said.
"I didn't know you were involved with anyone." Barbara commented.
Stevie sighed and moved away from her mother. She felt ashamed and didn't want to look at mother when she told her she had a one night stand.
"I'm not." Stevie said as she checked on the food. She turned off the stove and moved the pan away. "I'm not proud of it, Momma, but..." she sighed, then continued. "It was just a one night stand. He doesn't know I'm pregnant. He will not be in my life ever again, so I feel there is no need to tell him anything."
Stevie finally turned to her mother expecting to see disappointment. But when she turned, she didn't see that. She just saw her mother's love.
"Okay. I won't ask who is the father if you don't want tell me." Barbara said as she grabbed Stevie's hand to hold. "Just know, that I will support you no matter what. Your father will too once you tell him. I believe he will be happy to have another grandchild."
Stevie, of course became emotional once again and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. She was glad her mother was being supportive.
"Thanks, Mama." Stevie smiled then hugged Barbara. "I'll tell daddy after dinner. Sara and Christine know already."
They pulled away and Stevie wiped her tears away. Barbara gave Stevie a gentle squeeze of her shoulders then they went back to dinner.
Barbara went on to call everyone for dinner while Stevie freshened up. She splashed water on her face then patted it dry.
She returned with a smile on her face feeling a little better. Everyone helped serve and set the table. They then sat down and enjoyed their meal.
Once they finished eating, Stevie stood up and said. "Daddy, I have something to tell you. Christine, Sara and momma already know. Mom figures it out while we were cooking." Stevie took deep breath then said. "Daddy...I'm pregnant. Now, before you say anything, let me just say something."
Stevie went on to tell her father what she had told her mother. When she was done, Jess stood up and hugged his daughter.
Stevie broke down in her father's arms. She was tired of crying but that was just her normal now since Dylan had passed and now, she was extra hormonal due to her pregnancy. Stevie felt like a little girl again. She felt safe in her father's embrace.
Jess felt conflicted because he wanted to respect his daughters wishes but also, he thought she should tell the father about his child. For now, Jess will stay silent and support his daughter.
After that, Christine and Sara helped clean up after dinner, while Stevie shows her parents the ultrasound photos.
Barbara and Jess were so happy that a new grandchild was going to be entering their lives in a few months.
Of course, they couldn't help but think about Dylan. Jess and Barbara decided to visit their grandson's grave one day before heading back to Phoenix.
*One Week Later, 14 weeks pregnant*
Stevie's mood increased having her parents visit. She cherished each moment with them as the week had progressed.
Tom even joined them a few times and Barbara could see how Tom looked at her daughter. She could also see Stevie's eyes light up when Tom was around.
Barbara asked Stevie one night, if there was anything going on between them. She even thought Tom was the baby's father. But then she remembered Stevie saying that the baby's father wasn't in the picture.
Stevie assured Barbara that there wasn't anything going on between herself and Tom. It was just friendship and comfort that she needed in this moment.
Barbara dropped the subject but secretly hoped that one day, Stevie and Tom would be together as a couple.
Before they knew it, it was Barbara and Jess's last day in California before heading home the next day.
Stevie woke up a bit earlier to spend as much time with her parents she could on their final day. It was rare that she woke up early. She walked down the stairs and began to cook breakfast for her family.
Stevie tied her robe closed then went about cooking. She pulled her hair back into a lose bun to have her hair out of the way.
She decided to make pancakes, eggs, biscuits and sausage. The morning sickness was now gone and Stevie had an appetite again.
As she cooked, Christine joined Stevie in the kitchen and helped. They chatted as they prepared breakfast and soon, everyone in the house was awake.
They all sat around the kitchen table eating and talking amongst themselves. The twins and Sara were planning on going out for the day to watch a movie and do some shopping. Barbara had told Jess that she wanted to visit Dylan.
Halfway through their breakfast, Jess swallowed his food then asked a little hesitantly. "Stephanie...your mother and I are going to visit Dylan. Would you like to join us?"
Stevie looked at her father then looked down. Stevie hadn't been to Dylan's grave since the funeral. She wasn't sure if she should go now. She felt as if she wasn't ready. But the more she thought about it, she decided to go. Maybe having her mother and father close by would be a huge help to her, so she could get through that moment.
Stevie nodded her head yes in answer then she finished her meal in silence. But, her appetite disappeared as she felt nervous and sad.
When breakfast was done, Christine, the twins and Sara cleaned up and washed dishes while Stevie got ready to leave with her parents.
Once dressed, Stevie met her parents in the living room. She said goodbye to Sara and everyone else then they were off. Karen picked them up and drove over to the cemetery.
Stevie wanted to buy some flowers to put on Dylan's grave. Karen stopped by a flower shop and bought the flowers Stevie wanted.
When she left the flower shop, Karen handed the flowers to Stevie. Stevie gave her a thank you and again, they drove off to the cemetery.
Fifteen minutes later, Karen pulled up to where Dylan was buried. Stevie took a moment to gather herself, but she knew she would break any moment.
Jess, Barbara and Stevie finally got out fo the car. Karen stayed in the car to give the family some privacy. Stevie led the way with flowers in her hands. Jess and Barbara followed close behind.
As Stevie approached her son's grave, her tears began. Her eyes fell on his gravestone and that's when she began to sob.
Jess moved closer to Stevie and put an arm around her. Stevie quickly turned and hugged her father. She sobbed into his chest. Barbara's tears rolled down her cheeks and she walked over to Stevie and hugged Stevie too. Stevie sobbed; she began to think that this was a bad idea.
After a few minutes, Stevie calmed down and turned to look over at the grave. She took a deep breath then walked closer.
Stevie gently got down on her knees and touched her son's headstone. She ran her fingers over his name, more tears rolling down.
"Hi, my baby boy." Stevie said. "I miss you."
Jess and Barbara stood behind Stevie and held onto one another. Jess usually was the strong one and held in his emotions in front of everyone. But in this moment, tears rolled down his cheeks. His heart breaking all over again for his daughter and feeling extreme sadness for the loss of his grandson.
Stevie laid the flowers down then she put her hands in front of her. Her hands resting on the headstone as she bowed her head.
It was quiet for a moment, then Stevie spoke, her voice shaking at first then her voice grew angry. "Why do people have to drink and drive? Why do they do something so stupid!? Don't they realize how dangerous it is? The consequences of their actions brings so much pain for everyone involved! My son is dead because some stupid piece of shit decided to get behind the wheel after drinking way passed the limit! What's so hard about calling a taxi or have a designated driver!? My son would still be alive! Why my son!? Why Dylan?! Why couldn't it be me!!? It should have been me!"
Barbara rushed to Stevie's side and got down on the ground with her. "Don't say such things!" Barbara said, taking Stevie's hands in hers.
Stevie looked to her mother, tears pouring down her cheeks and said. "I'm trying so hard mama. I'm trying not to have those dark thoughts. I love this baby and Sara so much and I'm trying to be strong for them. But...but it's so so hard! I don't know how to move on! I want Dylan back! I want him back!" She screamed in frustration and heartbreak.
Even though Stevie seemed to be moving on with her life, she still had dark thoughts about being with her son. Most days, she could push those thoughts away. Anger was another emotion she was dealing with. She was so angry at the person who caused the accident.
Barbara reached over and brought Stevie into a hug. She held onto her daughter and rocked her back and forth. Stevie melted in her mother's arms and held on tight.
Karen saw what was going on and got off the car. She stood back but stayed close in case Barbara and Jess needed help with Stevie.
"Oh my baby girl." Barbara said softly. "I would be so lost if you weren't here with us. I know it's not the same and I can't even imagine what you are going through. Oh Teedee, I hate to leave you in this state." She looked over at her husband and said. "Jess, maybe we should stay another week. Maybe even longer. We need to get Teedee some help."
Stevie pulled away and said. "I am NOT seeing a therapist!"
"Stephanie..." Jess said firmly. "I know you don't want to. But you need to." Jess kneeled down and took his daughter's hand in his. "You can't be having those kinds of thoughts. Your mother and I are so afraid to leave you. You need someone professional to help you get through this. You have Sara and this new baby to think about. Please Stephanie, let us help you get some help."
Stevie looked into her father's eyes and saw so much concern and love in them. Stevie closed her eyes and nodded. "Okay." She whispered.
Barbara and Jess silently sighed in relief. Without saying a word, Barbara and Jess decided to stay in California for another week or two so they could help their daughter get the help she needs.
I know not a lot went on in this chapter but I hope you still liked it.
Do you all think therapy will help Stevie?
How do you think Lindsey will find out about Stevie being pregnant?
What do you all think the baby is?
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