"Just breathe Mattie, take deep breaths." I instructed in a calm soothing tone as I rocked Matthew back and forth in my arms, he trembled and hid his face in the crook of my neck sending his shaky breaths down my neck. His fear filled tremors sent own shivers down my spine. "Alfred.." he whimpered and grasped onto my shirt, I wondered if he were cold in the clothes he was wearing. He wore a thin white button up shirt and a pair of shorts, I changed into some Batman pajamas before climbing in bed.

I ran my hand through his hair and hummed a quiet tune. "I'm here Mattie." I reassured and kissed the top of his head it was warm, I pulled away and held his warm face in my hands and examined his face, tears rolled down his flushed cheeks and landed on my hands. "Talk to me Mattie." I pleaded anxiously and swiped my thumb across his cheeks wiping away his tears. "What's wrong? What is it that made you like this?" seeing him in tears broke my heart and made my chest ache.

I brushed some hair away from his face. "I-I had a bad dream." He stammered out which made me freeze in place. "Want to talk about it?" I asked cautiously not wanting to scare him more by forcing him to tell me about his dream, he swallowed and took a shaky breath, he looked ill and was paler than before making the circles under his eyes even more noticeable. "I..it was terrifying Alfred. It felt so real." He whimpered and pressed his hands against his stomach.

I gave him a worried look and felt my heart drop down to my stomach, had Matthew felt pain? Did something hurt him in his dream? I dropped my hands from his face and took a hold of his cold hands pulling them away from his stomach. "It wasn't real Mattie." I brought his hand to my lips. "I'm here right now, and I'm real." I reached for his face and lightly pinched his cheek, he winced slightly as I pinched his flushed pink cheek. "You feel that right? It's real, and that means right now is real." Even in the darkness I could still see the doubt cross his features. "But my dream felt real too. What if this is a dream?" panic filled his voice, his breathing once again quickened.

I quickly grasped onto his shoulders and lightly shook them. "Matthew I am right here! This wouldn't be a dream if I knew what was happening right? This is real." I still couldn't get him to believe me, so I had no other choice. I pounced on him and pressed my lips against his own, he grew tense under me but then ever so slowly melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around my neck. His breathing gradually slowed but I could still feel his heart pounding rapidly against his chest, when I pulled away I looked down at him and stroked his cheek with the back of my hand. We were both trying to regain our breath.

A blush made him flustered and he looked away covering his mouth with his hand, I smiled and moved a strand of hair away from his face. "Are you okay now Mattie?" I asked teasingly to which he answered with a slight nod of his head. "Do you think you can sleep?" I know he didn't tell what exactly what he dreamed about, but the circles under his eyes were starting to really worry me, and I just couldn't ignore them. He looked at me with a thoughtful glint in his eyes before nodding once again. "Just...please stay by my side." He grasped onto the sleeve of my shirt. "Don't leave me." I smiled a crooked smile and lied down next to him.

I pulled him close he curled up against me and rested his head against my chest. "I'll never leave you Matthew." I reassured and placed a kiss on the top of his head. "I promise you that." With those final words of reassurance he calmed his tense shoulders and closed his eyes, I instantly missed seeing them, but I knew sleep and his health was more important. And so, I pulled the blanket over us and allowed my self to drift off, but I think you already know why I couldn't sleep though. It was becoming a regular thing now.

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After I changed into a pair of jeans and a plain red shirt I looked at myself from the mirror in the restroom, I noticed how dark bags rested under my eyes, and my hair was completely messy. Bed hair is always the worse especially if you're really lazy in the morning and want to do nothing but sleep again. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before heading out, Matthew was still sleeping, but it looked like he was uncomfortable by the way he tossed and turn and his face twisted in what I could only describe as pain.

I went up to him and rested my hand against his forehead I frowned when I felt warm skin against my hand, and he was sweating too. I guiltily shook his shoulder enough to wake him up, he woke up with a start and looked at me with clouded eyes. "Alfred, you were in my dream." He stated in a strained voice, the way he was right now reminded me of the time he got a bad fever. I'm pretty sure it was Thanksgiving day, and he was totally out of it, but this was way different than that.

I sat on the edge of the bed and held his hand. "Yeah, I had a dream about you too." I admitted and shuddered at the memories of last night, he was in them but not as much as some other people. He looked at me and shook his head. "But it was really distorted all I could see was you..." he trailed off and stared down at our intertwined hands. "And you were holding my hand like this but," he paused and swallowed. "You were crying." He mumbled.

I flinched. "Crying?" I asked, but I quickly shook off my worry and pulled on a wide smile. "That's crazy because hero's never cry. Mattie did you drink maple syrup before going to bed? I knew your lips tasted familiar." He blushed at my words. "I-I would never." He stammered and avoided my gaze he lightly squeezed my hand. "Don't be a jerk." He mumbled. "Me? A jerk?" I chuckled. "You're the one looking away from me." I leaned over to look at him. "And you're hiding what I love most about you." I whined.

He froze and slowly met with my eyes.  "There they are!" I exclaimed happily causing him to flinch back. "W-wha?" he stuttered in confusion. "They're your eyes, I love your eyes Mattie." I admitted with a wide smile, but he didn't return it, he gave me a thoughtful look. "Something wrong Mattie?" I asked worriedly. "...I remember you said something about you only being able to shed tears for me." He mumbled. I froze at the sudden memory, it was probably about one or two months ago, it was a day I most regretted.

I was afraid of losing my memories of Mattie so I had taken him to the park to spend time with him, but I had ruined it for him, and he had cried his eyes out. And then after him I had cried myself because he was in so much pain, and I didn't even realize it. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Mattie who was now sitting up. "Mevermind Alfred, can we please go get Kuma from Austria's place?" and when he stared at me with those outstanding eyes I knew I couldn't argue with him.

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Arriving at Austria's placed we were met with a hyperactive Prussia. "America it's so awesome to see you." He grinned and then looked over my shoulder. "a6nd...uhm..I'm sorry I don't think I know his name." He stated toward Matthew who flinched at the sudden attention given to him. "U-uhm I'm Matthew otherwise known as Canada." He stammered in response Prussia was one of my best friends so I knew I could trust him, I pulled Matthew close and smiled at Prussia. "This is my lover." I stated happily. "Woah really!?" he gasped. "Congrats my friend." He patted my shoulder.

Matthew tugged at my shirt. "Alfie." He whined. "Oh right." I chuckled. "Look dude my Mattie here lost his bear, and it turns out it crawled into Austria's bag." I explained. "Seriously? Dude that's pretty crazy." Prussia said. "Come on in I'll help you look for it, Roderich is a bit grumpy though he's always grumpy in the morning so don't mind him." He laughed and allowed us inside I pulled Matthew along and closed the door behind us. "If you're still not feeling well Mattie go take a seat and I'll go look for your bear okay?" I turned to him and stroked his warm flushed cheek.

At first he refused, but after a while of convincing him he agreed and sat at the huge living room where a grand piano was displayed, after making sure that he was alright I followed Prussia, or Gilbert, to his and Austria's room and we both began searching together. Austria was grumbling to himself as he trudged out the room with nothing but a big t-shirt and boxers. "Stupid Prussia you kept me up all night." He muttered in a groggy tone. Gilbert chuckled in response. "Sorry Roderich, I'll make it up to you later." He shouted to him with a huge grin.

I rolled my eyes and looked around the room finding various clothes strewn on the ground. "Yeah I know it's a mess, but you came unexpectedly okay?" Gilbert huffed and looked through a pile of clothes. "Man now I totally have to clean, that's unawesome." I chuckled and looked around more. I peeked into the closet which thankfully wasn't as messy as it was in the room a bag on the ground caught my eye, it had a rather suspicious lump and when I called out the bears name it moved. "Hey bear dude don't be dead okay?" Gilbert was right behind me as I walked in the closet.

We both slowly crept toward the bag, and with my courage already set in my chest I grabbed the bag and quickly opened it revealing Matthew's bear, its fur was messy and it looked terrified. "Awesome we found you!" I congratulated myself and gave Gilbert a high five. "Now Mattie will be able to sleep again." I smiled to myself relieved that Matthew would finally get a good nights rest I would no longer have to hold his trembling figure in my arms as he cried himself to sleep, though I would still surely hold him in my arms anyways.

Gilbert patted the bears head. "Keeping a bear as a pet? That's awesome." He gaped in awe. "It's a huge cockblocker." I muttered under my breath my mood changing to a sour one as realization set in which earned me a small growl from the bear and a loud guffaw from Gilbert who slapped my shoulder. "Oh well, it makes your boyfriend happy though doesn't it?" his question caught me by surprise. "Well....yeah." I responded. "Then there you go, live by my motto, if my lover is happy then so am I." The words he spoke made my heart swell. "Woah, what did you do to my friend?" I joked as we both walked out the room.

The sound of the piano in the living room made us go silent. "Oh? It's a bit too early for Roderich to be playing." Gilbert mumbled with a frown, I gasped as I suddenly recognized the song that was playing. My blood ran cold and my heart stopped I was so close to breaking down in the hall my grip on Mattie's bear tightened and my breathing became uneven and short Gilbert simply shrugged it off, but he didn't understand what I understood. With heavy steps I followed him to the living room, and I honestly expected to see Roderich sitting on the polished bench in front of the grand piano so that my worries would at least be a bit eased, but what we both saw shocked me even more.

Roderich silently stood behind Matthew who was sitting on the bench, he swayed to the rhythm of the melody from the music his own delicate and pale fingers were making with each key he pressed. Gilbert's jaw dropped, and my breathing quickened in pace along with my heart. The song whirled in my mind leaving me dizzy and nauseas, my stomach twisted in an uncomfortable way, that song.

The same song that Matthew played in my dream right before....right before he died...

He knew the song, that god forsaken song that haunted me and the melody stayed in my head replaying each time I dozed off, and my stupid mouth would start humming it going along with the tune. As soon as he finished he looked at me and his eyes went wide. "Kuma!" A small smile tugged at his lips, I had to pull myself together. "You found him Alfie." He stood from the bench and rushed toward me to grab the bear from my arms. "Matthew." I mumbled catching his attention.

I think I still looked shocked because when he looked up to face me his smile faltered and was replaced with a look of concern. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" he asked quickly and anxiously rested his hand against my cheek to see if I had a fever. "You're so pale." He whispered. "I'm fine, I'm okay." I grabbed his hand and held it tight. "Mattie, where did you learn to play piano?" I asked, Roderich and Gilbert seemed to want to know too. He froze in place. "Well..." he started. "I uhm did play a bit...when I was a colony." He fidgited under our gazes.

He then took a breath. "But here's where it gets a bit odd." His voice was shaky with nervousness and he rubbed the back of his neck. "What is it?" I asked still curious and worried, a nervous smile was placed on his lips. "Well I got this song from a dream I had..." his words finally made my heart stop, and I didn't know how to respond, I was frozen in a mix of emotions. The only thing going through my head was....

He knew the song.