I didn't think, I ran.
Everything else around me did not matter but making it to my house.

All I could do was run, I hopped onto a train. And from the station I could see, a cloud of smoke and ash and from there I kept running. I felt no pain or exhaustion I just wanted to be there.

I pause as I see my house set alight, the memories have disappeared forever.

I could hear the crackling and the hose of the firefighters as they try to take this fire under control. It's Christmas, and what I got was destroyed memories.

I want them back.
It's ... no fair.

"Elsa!" Anna sobs and pulls on my clothing, "Why on Christmas?!"

I look across me and I see my mother clenching onto my father's clothing.

... The whole reason we moved here was so my father can spend more time with us because of work.
But all their hard work is ruined.

I hold onto Anna's arm as I am completely traumatized, I kneel down on the hard concrete covered with snow and cry.

... I have to accept. Life is like this.

That is when the snow of Winter turned ugly, I could not see such beauty anymore.

The firefighters finally gained some control over the wild fire, eating our house alive.

We all loudly sob while my father had eyes of fury and complete anger.

The fire finally starts to die down and my father confronts the firefighters while the police arrive to investigate.

"Was this an intentional lit fire?!" My father yells.

"We believe so sir, but you should wait for the police to confirm it." One of them say.

We gather around and ask, "Dad is there something you know?"

"Yes," My father says and calms down, "My company had corrupt workers that kept stealing from us. I reported them and they lost everything, they weren't very pleased with me. I ran into one of my ex corrupt colleague, he snickered and told me 'you are going to have a huge Christmas light across your house, am I right?' I thought it was very suspicious. Just in case we were in danger I wanted us to be away so that is why I gave you a ski trip."

It's not the world that is unfair. It's the people.

"Elsa!" Someone calls me.

... huh ... Jackson.

I walk to him unstably the snow storm comes back again. The wind blows through my hair and his we were 2 meters away.

"Elsa, I'm sorry I wasn't there with you-" He says.

"That's enough," I mutter.

Jackson's eyes widen in shock and he leans in closer.

"I know how you feel, I know my situation is less severe than yours. But I know how you feel and I understand." I tell him.

"W-what does that mean?" He asks.

"Everything I did to help you in your dark time, it wasn't real. It wasn't authentic because I didn't experience that feeling. Now that I understand this feeling, I understand that you can't fight it. It will remain here." I explain.

Jackson gets angry and yells, "Our situations are completely different!"

"That's true. Maybe our feelings toward our situations are completely different. But seeing their faces of despair looking at the house and knowing our memories burned down, it gives me a feeling that I can't fight. That I feel helpless over." I say.

"Elsa what about all the things you told me! How you helped me move past everything!" Jackson exclaims.

"I'm sorry with waisting your time. My help is useless, because I never experienced anything tragic." I say and force a smile, "That is why ... I must leave you."

Jackson's mouth slowly opens and his eyes sharpen.

"Elsa! Why?! You promised to stay with me forever!" He yells.

"Forever doesn't exist." I mutter.

"Why?! We can go through this! I can help you!" He yells in a hint of anger.

I take a deep breath, "I'd rather let something go than have the possibility of it burning."

Jackson calms down, "Do what you want. You're just a hypocrite."

... I know I am. That is why I feel bad.

"But I would rather hold onto something and treasure it for life and protect from the flames." He says.

... But I can't be capable of that. Jackson is still in danger if he is with me.

"You picked me back up Elsa. And I know your advice wasn't authentic, but I knew that I didn't care." Jackson adds.

These people that burned down our house is still out there and they will target anyone close to us. I can't afford to lose him. I can't hold him tightly. I have to walk away. Everything I'm saying is a painful lie, an excuse, to leave him.

"Eversince this happened I realized something," I say, "I don't love you Jackson."

Jackson's expression softens and the wind picks up blowing the snowflakes into a mess.

"... Huh ... I see ..." Jackson mummbles, "Goodbye then."

He walks slowly to his motorcycle and drives off, I notice the slightly icy road ... he drove here in danger of an accident. It's my fault.

A tear emerges from my eye and slowly runs down my cold cheek, smoke seeps when I breathe out of my mouth.

"Goodbye." I softly respond.

A/N

I'd like to kindly remind you that this book is close to it's final chapter, there will be no more books to contribute to it's series. It will just be NOTORIOUS & MYSTERIOUS, so this is the last book.

The other book I am working on might be published soon after I finish working on the cover, or it might not be published at all because once I start school I will be really busy. I don't know, if you guys aren't too fussy on updates I will publish it but if you are then I won't.