There is absolutely nothing wrong with needing a break.

Despite the countless times I've told myself this, and others telling me this too, I still struggle to understand this concept. Because though I can appreciate the need to occasionally take a step back from work and stressful situations, I never seem to allow myself to acknowledge the arrival of this moment. I just keep pushing through. I shrug and say it's fine. I don't need a break yet.

Oh, how stubborn and delusional we can be...

I think we're all guilty of this. We push and push, deny our growing fatigue, until we're forced to take a break. Until we burn out.

Even when I was forced to take a step back from Medium and take a few days off of work because I've been sick, I felt the burning urgency to keep producing.

Exhausted, barely able to keep my eyes open, still I'd crack my laptop open and try to write a new post. Still I agreed to overtime at work.

I've always struggled with calling in sick. I've always felt a sense of obligation to go in, a sense of guilt of leaving my coworkers short, even though I constantly find myself on the other end of the stick.

So, I went in to work even when I felt drained. I logged onto Medium even when I knew I was too tired for creativity to flow.

It didn't take long for it all to catch up to me. I had no choice but to step back for a few days.

Finally forced to take a break, still I didn't do so fully.

Days ticked by and I thought, "still no new blog post", and "another day where they'll be short staffed".

I had to remind myself, that it was okay to take the time to let my body heal. And I realized that had I taken a break before this moment, I might have been in a better state.

People kept telling me I would burnout. I didn't listen. I just shrugged.

I told myself, I'm not at that point, yet.

I wouldn't even listen to my doctor. She asked me if I had to do so much overtime. She told me to use up my vacation time.

I told myself, I'm not at that point, yet.

I spoke about it with my friend. I told her how my job was turning me into a different person. Told her how I felt I was losing patience quicker, growing more snappy and irritated with my coworkers. Everyone who knows me, knows that's not the real me.

I told myself, I'm not at that point, yet.

Part of me knew they were right, but I didn't want to admit it. As if I felt a sense of shame, I didn't want to admit feelings of the such. I'm young, I just started my career, so to admit all of this feels like admitting defeat or inadequacy (though I'm hindsight I know it's not).

We think we're stronger than our minds, but it's not about weakness. Just like we would physically let our bodies rest after a marathon, sometimes a break for our mental health is necessary.