(S) 

Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist Tony Stark was sprawled over his silk sheeted bed. Was he doing a belly flop in his dream? Was he a frisky male dog? Or was he a frisky dog doing a belly flop, who knows.

He may be a billionaire, but he couldn't pay a cleaner all the money he was worth to clean his room. The floor was a pizza pie of mess. A crust of clothes, sauced with multiple strong alcohols, topped with random shoes, gadgets, and the dismantled ironman suit. 

Ding! 

The doorbell echoed through the empty modern mansion. It might as well have been empty, because Tony Stark was dead in a hangover. 

JARVIS may be an A.I., but the incessant doorbell boiled his buttons. 

"Mister Stark, there's a guest at the door."

Mister Stark didn't flinch a muscle.

JARVIS tried again.

"Sir, there's an aesthetically pleasing woman at the door."

"Let her in!" Tony exclaimed, gaining a spur of consciousness, but a moment later, fell face first into the pillow. 

"As you wish, Mr. Stark."

JARVIS let the door open to the pretty lady with the y/h/c hair. Her heels clacked on the floor, but her pace was slowed down by the weight hanging on her arm. The handle of the baby seat digging into her y/s/c skin, and she quickly put it on the couch as she entered the living room. 

The A.I. tried everything to wake up his boss, but he didn't stir. As the lady in the living room irritably went through her phone, JARVIS phoned Pepper Potts, who was an hour drive away. But the lady in the house didn't have a minute's worth of patience left in her anymore and stormed away in her high heels, leaving behind the baby bag, and the baby girl.

JARVIS didn't need emotions to know something was wrong.

"Oh dear."

As the computer voiced its worries, the baby became fussy, squirming in her confinement. 

"Sir, you should most probably come downstairs, you have a family member here to see you." JARVIS called out, having carbon dated the baby girl.

"Idnthfhrcver" Tony mumbled, and if computers could be exasperated, JARVIS would have been.

"I sincerely apologize sir," the A.I. said, and not a second later, Tony Stark was dripping wet under the water sprinklers. 

The billionaire fell off his bed and shook his head, coming to his senses. 

"Thank you, Jar."

"You're welcome, sir." Jarvis replied, and a baby's cries followed through the speakers.

"That's a baby,"

"Surprise?"

Tony stumbled to his feet and ran down the stairs to the living room. The room was empty.

"I'm imagining voices."

"No. You're not."

Tony clenched his eyes shut and turned to face Pepper, who was holding a fussy baby.

"Who's baby is this?" Pepper demanded, cradling the baby in one arm.

Tony raised a finger to answer, but immediately bent over to throw up after his hangover. When he got back to his feet, the baby girl threw up as well.

"Uhh...mine."