I re-read a bit and I know the feelings between Tanjiro and Mui are hella confusing but DW DW! It'll get better trust

Muichiro's pov

Yesterday was weird.. really weird, why did I do such a thing? Why was I nice to him after what he did..? Is that another one of his manipulating tactics? Was he even drunk? Maybe he was just pretending.

I was thinking to myself over and over again while staring at the wall. He's so confusing.. one time he's being abusive and the other he's all nice and.. I don't know what to do.

He killed my parents, I could never forgive him for that but.. I can't help but lean into his touch, the way he always hugs me and kisses me feels so soothing and I can't help but want more.

I want to be mad at him, kick him, slap him, hit him, anything but.. it's like the anger disappears any time he just does one nice thing or.. seems genuinely sad.. what am I supposed to do?

Suddenly the door to the room opened and Tanjiro walked into the room, placing a plate with food on a small table before trying to leave but it was like my body acted on its own.

“W-Wait” I called out and he immediately stopped, looking at me with tired eyes. “Yes, love?” He forced a small smile which made my lips curl up into a small smile as well but then I stopped myself, shaking my head “I don't want the food..”

His smile faded immediately and he nodded, taking the plate again and leaving. It wasn't what I wanted to say to him but.. I was just so confused.

Tanjiro's pov

I sighed and placed the plate down on the kitchen counter, thinking to myself “what can I do.. What can I do.. what would make him happy..”

Suddenly an idea popped into my head. It was a risky idea but.. I thought that he would like it

Muichiro's pov (sorry for a fast skip)

“Mui?” He heard Tanjiro say. I looked up from my sketchbook that he gave me. “I am taking you out, come on, let's get you ready” he smiled and my eyes widened, I couldn't help but smile widely as well “really?!”

I said excitedly, my happiness and excitement completely taking over. He nodded and reached out his hand to me to help me stand up but I refused, instead I stood up by myself and ran to the front door.

I was practically jumping around while Tanjiro was trying to find a coat that would fit.

He put the cost on me together with a mask, hat and sunglasses. It was clear that he didn't want anyone to recognise me.

Once we were done, I finally stepped outside. I looked up at the sky, my eyes filling up with small tears. Tanjiro grabbed my hand roughly, refusing to let go “get in the car”

I quickly nodded and got into the passenger seat while Tanjiro got into the driver's seat. I was so excited.. extremely excited. I couldn't help but smile widely while we drove through the town. I was outside not too long ago but that was when I tried to escape and..  it felt different, it felt so dark but now that I am outside like this.. without having to run away from anyone, it feels different..

Suddenly Tanjiro stopped the car and locked the car with me still inside. I watched as he slowly disappeared from my sight which.. made me kinda panic. Is he gonna leave me here? Was this just a trick?

While I was overthinking this whole thing, I didn't even realize how much time had passed and suddenly Tanjiro appeared next to me with a cone of ice cream. I looked at the ice cream and then at him. “Come on, take it” he said and I shakily reached for it.

It was a pistachio one.. my favorite.. how does he even know that-?

“Do you like it?” He asked and I gave him a tiny nod, still looking outside. Even though it was kinda chilly outside, it still felt really nice. “You've been wearing my clothes for weeks so should we go buy you some..?” He asked shakily and I nodded in response.

It was still confusing, I knew I couldn't let myself trust him, not after what he did, it was just something that was still in the back of my head but he still managed to blind that thought with these stupidly nice acts.

We got to the store and Tanjiro pulled me out of the car, leading me into the store while still holding my hand. “Keep your head down” he whispered and I did so.

Even though I had my head down, I saw something, a missing poster with my face on it. “I said keep your head down” he said again and forcefully made me look down on the ground.

In the store while we were looking around, I couldn't help but feel slightly anxious. I guess that being shut out from people for so long made me really.. scared of them.

“I'll go check it out over there, if you find something you like, just call out” Tanjiro said and let go of my hand before leaving. My eyes widened as I looked at my hand. “Is this my chance? Can I tell someone?”

I quickly looked around, seeing a woman with a child not too far from me. I rushed over to them, saying “e-excuse me, I need h-help, my name is Muichiro Tokito, I got kidnapped” I whispered desperately.

She looked at me with a confused look before placing a hand around her child and leaving quickly. My eyes widened, my whole body was trembling “wh-what? They won't help..?” I thought to myself and looked around once again.

The room fell silent, my breathing got heavier as I clutched my chest. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. I immediately turned around and saw Tanjiro “you okay, love?”

I gave him a tiny nod, trying to hide my panic but it was extremely hard. “y-yes I am okay just.. I wasn't around people for a while.. I panicked..” I lied, hoping he would believe me which.. he luckily did “i see, i am sorry i should have known” he took my hand in his and forced this creepy smile that made goosebumps appear on my skin.

The second we got into the car, I felt immediate regret. I could have ran away! I could have told someone! What stopped me?? Why am I so stupid?!

Tanjiro got into the driver's seat with the same smile as before, he seemed oddly happy, I think it was because he managed to manipulate my feelings into acting normal around him.. even after what he did.

“Tanjiro..?” I mumbled and he looked at me with a confused look, saying “yes Mui?” He mumbled, leaning a little closer to me, his face inches from mine. “Why did you.. do it..? Why..” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Tanjiros eyes narrowed, his expression cold with disappointment “I don't know what you mean exactly but I told you plenty of times, I love you, and I can't stand being without you.. as for your parents..” he paused and grabbed my chin, saying “it was for you too, they were abusive, i wanted to protect you”

I looked into his eyes, feeling a strong urge to just push him away but his worried gaze was just too much to refuse “I only want the best for you Mui, alright?” His voice was soft and loving, the way he touched my chin made me melt.

I nodded and leaned into his touch. He did it once again, pushed all the negative thoughts out of my head and replaced it with this disgusting fake thought that I stupidly believed.

“Let's go home now, alright? I think you had enough outside” he said and started the car, driving away from the mall.

…

Once we got home I sat down on my usual spot on a couch, knowing there's nothing to mess up if I just sit in one place. “My friends will come over tonight, you'll stay in my bedroom and don't you dare come out” Tanjiro said while taking the groceries out of the bag.

I gave him a tiny nod in response.

…

It was around midnight, Tanjiros friends were still here, drinking and smoking. I could smell it even through the closed door, it reminded me of home.

I just sat on the bed, staring out of the window. I tried to sleep but the noise they were making was just too much for me to ignore.

Suddenly the house went silent and I thought they had left. Without thinking I stood up and opened the door, walking to the living room where I saw Tanjiro and.. his friend. My eyes widened when his friend turned his gaze to me.

Tanjiro soon noticed his gaze and turned to look behind him, his eyes widening when he spotted me standing there. “Wait.. I saw you in the news” his friend mumbled, making my heart drop into my stomach.

“What are you talking about?? That's uhh my cousin” Tanjiro said desperately, trying to figure out some dumb lie but to no avail. “You kidnapped him, didn't you?” He said while looking at Tanjiro in disbelief.

Tanjiro only stood there, staring at him in silence. “I am calling the police” the said and took out his phone but Tanjiro immediately snatched it out of his hand “don't you fucking dare! Dude you're supposed to be my friend! And you'd call the police on me?!” Tanjiro yelled out.

“Not when you fucking kidnap someone!” His friend yelled back at him, trying to get his phone back but Tanjiro slammed him down onto the floor, making him grunt in pain.

I could only stand there, trembling violently in fear, knowing what will come the second I am alone with Tanjiro. Tanjiro reached into one of the drawers and pulled out a sharp knife, grabbing his friend by his hair, saying “I can't risk letting you go after this.. I am sorry..”

“Wait what?! Tanjiro I-” before he could finish the sentence, Tanjiro stabbed the knife into the back of his neck. Tears were streaming down Tanjiros face as he watched his friend struggle to breathe.

“Muichiro.. come here..”

My eyes widened and I slowly approached him, sobbing uncontrollably at this point “I-I am sorry I-I am s-so sorry I-” I apologized repeatedly but he just grabbed me and slammed me against the wall, yelling out “I fucking told you to stay in the bedroom!! Why the fuck did you come out?!”

“I-I thought.. I thought” I sob out, covered my head with my arms, not wanting him to hurt me. He kneeled down in front of me, his eyes wide with terror as he whispered with a cold tone “I told you to stay there.. and you didn't listen..”

“i-I know I-I a-am sorry.. pl-please don't hurt m-me.. please..” I sobbed uncontrollably, my chest feeling horribly tight as I struggled to breath through my sobs.

He reached behind himself and pulled the knife out of the guy's neck, handing it to me “you hurt me badly, Mui.. you deserve to be hurt too..” he grabbed my shaky hands and placed the knife on my wrist.

“Do it”

“W-what? N-No I-I can't I am s-sorry please! I'll do anything j-just please..”

“I said do it”

“T-Tanjiro I-I can't.. pl-please..”

“Do. It.”

“Pl-please..”

“DO IT”

...

Word count : 1953