I really need that last one! Imagine wearing that shirt and someone just picks you up and brings you to Johnny's doorstep and walks away.

Me: Thank you helpful stranger!

*Johnny answers the door*

Me: Hi, Johnny! I'm Baaaaack!

Johnny: Who are you?

Me: I'm your new wife! Love me!

*Johnny slams the door shut*

*I scratch at the door and whine like a puppy*

Johnny: Fine! Come in.

* I gasp and lung myself at him, hugging him*

Johnny: Please tell me you're house broken.