Italics- thoughts/ flashbacks/ dreams

Bold- author talking

Underline- narrator talking, known as the main character

Normal- normal story

2820 words

ꨄ❦ꨄ❦ꨄ➪

It's Sunday morning.

I don't wanna go to church. The bed is too comfy.

And death, he's alright I guess.

⅘ stars on cuddle buddy skills.

I however am 7/5 because I say so.

The bed is 100/5 because my grandma gave it to me.

Pikachu is 9/5 because he's the fluffiest animal pillow ever and I love him. He also cost too damn much.

I roll over and hit death's side. Damn I'm clumsy before I even properly wake up. New record.

I open my eyes and look around the dark room. I miss the sun waking me up.

This is a dream and it's night right now so the sun will come in a few hours.

I get comfy again and wrap my arms around death and Pikachu which is between us.

Pikachu is my child. He's gone through as much trauma as I have this month. Well last month since yesterday was the first day of February.

I think too much. I should sleep instead.

But I gotta go to church. But I don't want to. But I want that money.

$20 could buy me a sandwich and chips and drink.

Subway sandwich. Oh my love for Subway. The American club is the best one ever.

I only had it once, years ago but it's amazing.

Now I want fucking subway. Fuck this shit. Why can't I just sleep forever?

But then I'll get restless.

Why is waking up so hard? It just gets worse the older I get. I'm not even that old.

A hand starts caressing my left side. Well I'm not the only one awake anymore. Maybe I woke him up.

I crawl on top of him "Did I wake you up?"

Ow my hand. I lean on him instead.

He looks at me with tired eyes and a drunken smile, "no."

I've learned that sleeping makes him drunk. Is that why he never slept before?

I kiss his nose. He kisses my forehead.

I lost before anything even started. Damn.

The betrayal feels so real right now. "How could you do that to me? I did nothin to you." I say in a fake betrayed and hurt voice with a sad face.

He looks confused but drunk addition, "what did I do?"

"You won the kissing war before it even started. That's worse than cheating."

"The hell is a kissing war?" He looks me dead in the eyes, "are you alright?"

"You aren't even saying sorry? That's low."

"Sorry?"

I kiss his nose again but lean back so he can't reach me, "thank you."

Sleep drunk and confused death is adorable.

He just looks at me for the longest second. Probably trying to stare in my soul and figure out what's wrong with me.

I wanna know too.

"Don't you have a place to go?"

"Do I?" I say trying out the teasing voice thing.

Honestly the voice I use to mess with people works better than whatever that was.

I sounded like a sick demon on crack. I'm not good at it.

He scrunches his face some. "Well yea?"

Oh he's so cuteeeeeee and hottttt.

I probably look like a troll. I'm probably confusing as fuck.

But if I'm caught doing something in the future I can become cringe and get out of it. Always worked with my sister.

Now I have to normalize the cringe. Well with him. Anyone else and it'll be weird.

"So are you going or not?" He still looks confused.

Poor man.

I sit up so I'm straddling his lap. He sits up and leans against his arms.

"I'ma go. I thought of Subway and now that's all I'm thinking about."

He raises a brow, "so you act possessed first thing in the fucking morning? If you wanted food that bad you could have just told me. Sounding like Lucifer with strep throat and acting weird about 'kissing wars' first thing in the morning isn't normal."

I look around, "this isn't normal either."

"What?"

"Being in hell on Sunday while cuddling with you in a dull and dark room. Makes no sense."

He just blinks at me, probably done with my annoying mouth.

That's what everyone else doess.

He wraps his arms around me and we fall onto the bed. Well I was pulled down but whatever.

"Are you only going to get Subway?"

I nod my head against his chest and unfold my legs so my ass isn't in the air.

Gotta stay modest for the ceiling's innocent eyes.

"How's your hand?"

I look to the left at my hand that I kept closed all night. I hated it but my hand hurts too much to open. "It hurts."

"This is why you don't grab flying knives with bare hands."

"Sorry."

He runs his hand through my hair, "don't say sorry," he mumbles.

He then grabs my bandage wrapped hand and puts his thumb on the cut. It's like a baby holding someone's finger. Awwww. He then puts the lightest pressure on it.

"Does this help?"

I nod while trying to hide tears of gratitude. He's so nice.

I gotta return the favor so I run my hand through his messy hair over and over.

He smiles and I hear that static purr thing for just a spit second. So short that it might not have even happened.

This is so nice, perfect even.

I've dreamed of things like this for years. And it's here.

I lay my head down to hide tears. But I don't hide the smile.

No, no, no, we don't hide smiles.

Just tears. I actually know him now- sorta- so it would be embarrassing to cry.

Even if it's from pure happiness.

But that doesn't work because he rolls over and I'm now laying on my right side and he's laying on his left. Dammit.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing means something is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong, it's actually the opposite."

"So nothing is good?"

"Nothing is nothing."

"Huh?"

"Nothing is good and bad. Nothing is an illusion, a concept made up by people thousands of years ago to make people think there is nothing. There's no such thing as nothing. There's always something. Like air and time. How will there be nothing if there's always something?"

He looks at me for a long minute.

Maybe an hour.

It's too dark and long to know.

"I just wanted to know why you were crying. You're a whole different person in the morning."

"You too."

He rubs his face with the back of his hand that's still holding mine. "You're confusing."

I somehow smile wider. "Yes."

"So why are you crying?"

"I'm not."

"There's streaks of that stupid black shit running down your face. Why are you crying?"

Dammit.

"I'm not telling you."

He looks at me like 'this bitch' before turning over so his back is against me but he doesn't let go of my hand.

Yes, I am that bitch. That bitchy bitch.

I'm not horrible though, I promise.

Well that's what I tell myself. They say otherwise.

Stop thinking you stupid idiot.

I look at the giant now completely black scar that's down my arm and all the little black lines around all of me. The smaller ones are hard to see in the dark though.

I lift up his arm before crawling under it and wrapping myself around him. His side is nice too. It's like laying on a pile of blankets but muscle.

Thank whatever workout he has that he's not rock hard or that would be a 0.4/5 on cuddling skills.

No one wants to cuddle a giant rock.

I take the hand that retired from messing up his hair and start poking his back. He turns and looks at me confused. I smile some more.

"Seriously, are you alright? Is there something wrong?"

"I'm great." I say, trying not to laugh.

But alas, like every other time it fails, I have not lost that streak so far and probably would have fallen off the bed if his arm wasn't around me.

Why does laughing and falling off of beds seem to love me? Like damn give me a break, me.

I sit up cuz fuck this. I also pull him up with my functioning hand. He still hasn't let go of the other one.

It's like the handcuff challenge but no handcuffs.

I should be recording this. Then I'll finally be famous. I lay down and stretch my arm to the bottom of the floor and blindly grab my phone. After hitting my hand a few times I grab it and sit back up too fast.

Once the dizziness disappears I open the camera and put it on him.

He doesn't show up but I see him. He's just looking at the camera with an unamused face.

"Why don't you show up?"

"Because I don't want to."

"But all these pictures show up and won't go away."

"Because I want them to."

Well that's not fair. I want that ability.

He finally lets go of my hand but pulls me against him and tosses my phone behind him.

Ay my phone. That's not cheap.

Unlike me.

"You're adorable." He caresses my side.

"You're affectionate."

"You're my little crippled butterfly."

The 'crippled' part always throws me off. Like a reminder or something.

He drowns my face in kisses. He then somewhat gently throws me down before crawling over me so I'm trapped under him yet again. He then drowns the rest of me in kisses, following the same route.

This is the 3rd time this week.

And all I can think about is a late night trip to a pond with purple light on the still water and perfect grass on the land. A place so truly beautiful that not even the best of the best can see it but somehow the stupid little chubby girl with bad walking skills found it.

A scene so beautiful and like no other that can bring tears from just the calmness. Feelings that can easily trap and drag away its victim and become an addiction so powerful that it's the only thought on the mind till night when it appears again.

One with such serenity and forever happiness. One of such awe and beauty that can't be described. One with such pretty little animals that only adds to the scene.

A place that defies all odds and is much better than anything else known to man. A place so sacred and unnaturally beautiful.

I want to kiss him or do anything so he can see the beautiful place too but I don't know how to kiss.

I'm scared of it because I don't know it. I don't know how to show my love so naturally like him either.

It took so much courage to kiss his nose. I thought he would judge me and ignore me.

Physical touch is my love language but I don't know how to use it. I don't know if I can or if I'll get judged like everything else.

Can he even come with me? Can I do that? I'm the only person I know that knows this place but he's not human.

How would I bring him?

Is that why people kiss? So they both can go? Is that why the sad girls kiss every guy they see? Do they get to escape this awful reality for the night too?

I always thought they were whores but they could just be like everyone else and trying to get away.

Could this be my new escape too? See if it lasts longer than everything else I've tried.

But I don't want to kiss 50 guys a week. Others can but I can't.

"Have you ever been to the place before?"

He stops kissing my knuckles and looks at me, "what place?"

"The night pond. You know, the one with pretty water and the moon and perfect grass. The one with the perfect air and calmness that makes you feel all tingly inside.

It has the swans and makes ya happy and peaceful. I've never seen any people there though. It's too special for them and I somehow found it."

"When do you see it?"

"All the times you tried to drown me with kisses. Have you been there?"

If I didn't get distracted each time I'd probably faint.

After him looking at something, probably me, for a long time he slowly nods.

"I've been there."

I gasp with excitement, "oh yay. Why haven't I seen you though?"

"The place I see is different from yours."

"What is it?"

"A memory."

"Can I know?"

"No."

"It's because you don't trust me."

He doesn't say anything but his face does.

"Well if you ever trust me you'll have to tell me."

"I'll tell you everything."

Oh yay. My stupidly big smile returns and he goes back to drowning me in kisses.

It makes me feel a way nothing else can. It makes me want to cry a different type of tears. It makes me want to do flips and shit like I got that talent.

With each second I feel like yelling with this giddiness more and more. It's like reading one of those scenes in a story but times 100.

I grab Pikachu who is hanging off the bed and squeal a wheeze into him while squeezing him.

I wanna roll into a ball but I'd probably kick death so I don't.

"This is fun," I squeak like a teenager that is having a sleepover with her friends and they're talking about drama.

He smiles at me before going back to kissing my stomach and abdomen.

I just hope my abs of fat don't intimidate him. That would be such a shame.

This is much better than dealing with little crazy people at church.

This is much nicer than almost everything else.

I look up and he just looks at me for a second. The way dogs look at the pizza you hold.

He then kisses my nose before, again, semi gently flipping me over. He then runs his hands up and down my back a few times before kissing my back.

I squeal. I couldn't stop it. Then I started laughing cuz I sounded like an excited cartoon pig.

Oh my gawd this is great. So great.

I'm the type of happy that makes ya curl up into a ball and start uncontrollably shaking while trying not to get a heart attack from such highs. The type that can make ya only say your favorite term over and over again till the feeling leaves.

I slowly yet somehow smoothly curl into a ball while flattening Pikachu with my hands. Now my back is pressed against him but he doesn't stop.

I'm high and drunk and cracked out on whatever adrenaline nonsense this is.

I feel like a 10 year old staying up an extra hour outside after bedtime on a spring and school night while tomorrow would be Friday and a pizza party.

I feel like I'm breaking something or deciding if I should support my friend in doing something stupid.

But neither are happening, right? I'm not doing anything wrong, right?

That's what I want to think- actually, stop thinking ya stupid fuck.

After some heavenly minutes he rolls me back over.

I'm all giddy and he's all hot and shit.

And I'm full of kisses.

Thwat does it mean? Thwat does it meeeaaeaeaeaannnnnn?

Then the worst thought comes to my head. Damn fucking head.

I look him in the eyes and it catches him off guard. I then ask in the most serious yet stupidly manly voice I love.

"Am I gonna be pregnant?"

His face says 'bitch I thought you were smarter than this'.

Morning me isn't smart.

"It doesn't work like that."

Oh thank the Lord because I didn't wanna be pregnant as like some punishment for whatever sin this probably was.

I will never regret it though.

I wrap my arms around the top of his back, under his arms and pull him down.

Or try.

He looks at me for a second confused before going along. I then wrap legs around his and hold him like Pikachu even though he's 200 times bigger.

And he is fucking heavy. Insanely tall and heavy.

"Why are you so heavy?"

He rolls over with his arms wrapped around me so now I'm on top, "I told you so."

My poor bed doing extra work behind the scenes.

I patted the bed, "good job, buddy."

I then rub my face against death like a cat because...

body heat.

"Do you still want Subway?"

I look at him excited, "yesssss. And I got a nail appointment at 6."

He's like 'really?' before sitting up and I get off of him and the bed and walk to the bathroom excited.