Chapter 27

Dareen Pov

"What a great Lorcan, why do you call me?!" rinig kong saad ni Rap nang masagot niya iyong tawag. Kanina pa kasi nagri-ring iyong cellphone niya at pinapabayaan niya lang na mamatay kaso walang tigil naman iyong nagri-ring.

Mula sa pagkakahiga sa kama ay umupo si Rap at sumandal sa headboard ng kama ko. Hindi ko alam kung anong oras na pero di pa kami bumababa ni Rap sa kama. Masyado akong pagod mula sa labanan kagabi. Hindi ko alam kung mataas na ba ang araw sa labas since napakakapal niyong curtains dito sa kwarto.

I moved, then hugged Rap's waist. Mamimihasa na ako sa paglandi ko sa kanya kasi nagpapalandi naman. Actually, when I'm clingy to Rap, he doesn't complain at all. Whenever I sleep on his lap, hug him or even kiss him out of nowhere, he does not complain. 

He acted like nothing and sometimes he also responded... eherm mostly pala. When I kissed him, he kissed me back. When I hugged him, he made me sit on his lap and hug me. Now, who the hell would ever fall for him for this kind of behavior and actions?

"What? So, you're asking us to organize and design your proposal venue?!" napangiwi naman ako doon sa pagsigaw ni Rap.

"Tsk. Fine. Just call Colt, too. Hmm, bye... and good luck on your proposal, fucker."

Narinig ko ang paglapag ng telepono ni Rap sa nightstand na nasa tabi niya. Pinakit ko nang maayos ang maganda kong mata at nagpanggap na tulog. Sa totoo lang pagod na pagod ang ganda ko kahit umaga pa lang. This is what sex brought me: weariness and aching in my hips and hole. 

I felt Rap's hand brushing my hair. Like a puppy wanting to be cooed, mas siniksik ko ang katawan ko sa kanya at mahigpit siyang niyakap.

"I know your awake, Dareen. Wake up, baby."

Minsan talaga gusto ko nang busalan ang bibig nitong si Rap. Ewan ko nat-turn on ako kapag tinatawag niya akong ganoon. May pa-callsign na kami ni Rap pero walang label 'yan. Di ko naman masyadong naiisip ang label kasi nalalandi ko naman ang taong gusto ko.

But on the other side, mas mabuti kong may label kasi kapag nagseselos ka makakapagsabi ka. Kung may di ka gusto masasabi mo rin. At kung may label siguro di ako nagpipigil, di ako nagpipigil sa kilos at salita ko. Ngayon kasi mas nagiging conscious na ako sa mga lumalabas sa bibig ko. Natatakot ako na baka kapag nalaman ni Rap na may feelings ako sa kanya mawala lahat ng ito. Itong closeness namin at paglalandi ko sa kanya.

I'm not telling naman na okay lang lumandi sa taong gusto mo at magpakantot sa taong gusto kahit na walang label. Ang akin lang mas gusto ko na lang din siguro ang ganito walang commitment pero nagagawa ko ang gusto ko. Kasi ano naman ang nangyari sa amin ni Geoffrey noon? May label nga kami noon pero nagawa niya pa ring mang-cheat. He still want a pussy to fuck with.

But, if it's Rap, is he worth the time and effort? Am I ready enough? I whizzed and shut my thoughts off.

Nonetheless, wala rin naman akong balak na umamin sa kanya tungkol sa nararamdaman ko. If in God's will, na maging kami magiging kami pero kung hindi naman... sana ipilit na lang ni Lord. Gustong-gusto ko eh. Only if may konting feelings talaga si Rap sa akin. I'll grab every opportunity na ma-fall siya para sa akin.

"Hey! Hernane." napapitlag ako nang bigla akong pinitik ni Rap sa noo.

"Ouch! Ano ba Rap!" naiinis kong saad sa kanya at napabitaw mula sa pagkakayakap ko sa kanya. Umupo ako sa kama at ngumuso sa kanya habang hinihimas ang parte ng noo ko na pinitik niya. Pitikin ko ang burat niya dyan, eh!

"You're spacing out. I called you but I got no response."

"Tsk!"

"Anyway, pupunta akong La Union today. Kaya maiiwan kayo ni Chiara again dito." pag-iiba niya sa usapan.

Pinilig ko ang ulo ko. "La Union?"

"Hmm. Magpo-propose ang kaibigan ko."

Wow! Napapa-sana all naman ako nito.

"Kailan ka uuwi?"

Tumawa ang lolo ninyo. "Hindi pa ako nakakaalis tapos tinatanong muna na kong kailan ako makakauwi."

Napakurap-kurap ako doon at hilaw na ngumiti. Tingnan mo na. Nakalimutan ko na naman na wala pala kaming label at nagtatanong na ako sa personal life niya.

Muntik ko nang makutos nag sarili ko dahil sa tangang tanong ko na iyon. Something pricked on my chest but I choosed to ignore it.

With a heavy heart, I give him a fake smile and turned my back on him. "Y-yeah. Why did I ask that damn question." I said.

Binaba ko na ang paa ko sa sahig at tumungo sa CR nang may sakit sa dibdib.

I calm myself down at naligo na rin ako doon. Pagkalabas ko wala na si Rap sa kama at nakaayos na iyon. Nagbihis ako at lumabas.

Right after our breakfast. Naghanda na si Rap upang umalis.

"I gotta go. Take care of yourself, okay? Don't give your Kuya Dareen a headache." bilin niya kay Chiara.

"Okay, Raphael." ani naman ni Chiara.

Tumayo si Rap at tumingin sa akin. Napaiwas ako nang tingin sa kanya at pinagkrus ko ang kamay ko sa harap ng dibdib ko.

"I'll be back later, so don't sulk." saad niya at hinalikan ang ulo ko.

Napaawang ang labi ko at di ako makagalaw sa kinatatayuan. The fuck? So, he notice? Nang tumunog ang kotse ni Raphael ay tumakbo ako doon sa carport niya iniwan ko muna saglut si Chiara doon sa may main door.

Kinatok ko ang salamin ng kotse ni Rap. Binaba niya naman iyon at nilabas ang ulo niya.

"What? Do you-"

Di ko siya pinatapos at hinawakan ko ang magkabilang pisngi niya saka siniil ng halik. Sa una ay gulat siya at di nakapagrespond pero ilang saglit ay gumaganti na siya sa halik ko.

"Mag-ingat ka." saad ko matapos ang french kiss.

"I will baby."

---

Umalis si Rap at naiwan ang magaganda niyang pamilya sa bahay. Charr! Naiwan kami ni Chiara dito sa bahay. Hindi na naman ito bago sa amin ni Chiara dahil iniiwan naman talaga ni Rap ang pamangkin niya sa akin.

Nang maglunch nagluto ako at kumain kami ni Chiara. Pagkatapos naming maglunch ay nanood sana kami ni Chiara ng TV kaso nang may makita kami sa TV na nagtatampisaw sa pool ay parang gusto rin namin na maligo. Dahil naiingit kami pareho. Naligo rin kami sa pool. Syempre ingat na ingat ang ganda ko dahil di ako marunog lumangoy. Si Chiara nga ay nilagay ko lang sa isang lifebuoy naniniguro na dahil di ako sirena.

Naglaro kami ni Chiara hanggang sa mapagod ang ganda niya at mag-aya siya na umahon. Sa sobrang kapaguran niya ay nakatulog nga ang bubwit. Ako naman ay pumunta sa kusina upang maghanda ng snack in case na magising siya at manghingi. Pupunta na sana ako sa silid ni Chiara upang tabihan iyon sa pagtulog nang mapasigaw ako sa gulat nang may makita ako sa hallway na isang babae at nakatitig sa painting.

"Dareen!" lumingon iyong babae at doon ko napagtanto na si mother-in-law pala iyon.

Agad akong lumapit kay mother-in-law at sinalubong siya ng yakap.

"My god! Mother— I mean Tita! Kailan kayo nakauwi?" saad ko matapos ang yakapin naming dalawa.

Ngumiti si mother-in-law.

"I just arrived today, Dareen." Tita smiled. Matanda na si Tita at may konting wrinkles na nga akong nakikita sa face niya pero iyong ganda niya kinabog ang ganda ko! She is just wearing a simple c-cut dress paired with a clogs, but she really standout.

"Oh! Dumiretso kayo dito? Gusto niyo po ba ng makakain. I can cook." pag-aalok ko pa. Akala mo talaga ang galing ko ring magluto kung maka-offer.

"No need Dareen. Thank you."

Lihim akong nakahinga ng maluwag doon kasi ano ba naman ang maihahain ko kay mother-in-law? Hotdog? Scrambled egg?

"Ahm, tita kukunin niyo na po ba si Chiara?" tanong ko.

"Yes. Hindi ko siya nakikita. Nasaan pala ang apo ko?"

"Ah, natutulog pa po. Napagod sa laro namin."

Natango-tango si tita sa akin at bumaling doon sa painting sa harap namin. "I'm glad that you're getting close, Dareen."

"I am too, tita." pagsang-ayon ko naman.

"Anyway, I got so worried when Raphael called me that you went into some accident." pag-iiba ni mother-in-law sa usapan namin.

I waved my hands. "I'm okay now tita and beside hindi naman po malala ang napala ko." nagbiro pa ako.

Saglit akong nilingon ni tita at binalik ang mata sa mga painting at pabalik na naman sa painting sa harap namin.

"Hmm. Thanks god."

Tutok na tutok si Tita doon sa painting na isang babae na buntis at nakaside-view and beside that painting was the painting of two people holding hands. Ngayon na nakatitig titig na titig ako doon sa painting. Ngayon ko lang napansin na iyong pregnant woman na nakaside-view ay may dugo pala ang kamay ng babae. I thought it was a flower but no... her hands were bleeding.

Matagal na akong tumira dito pero ngayon lang ako nakatitig sa painting na ito. Di ko rin naman kaksi ito pinapansin kasi di ko naman pwedeng hawakan. Sa kakatitig ko doon sa painting ay para akong hinihila ng artwork na iyon.

"It's magnificent isn't it, Dareen?" Mayamaya ay tanong ni tita sa akin.

I involuntarily nodded my head in agreation.

"Did you know that Rap's wife painted of all these paintings here?"

Parang robot akong napatingin kay tita Bienvenida. Tita is staring at the painting in front of us with a melancholic face. She is smiling, but the sadness in her eyes was vivid enough for me to fathom that she was sad and missing that person. 

I pulled my eyes away from Tita Bienvenida and subverted my eyes on the floor. My heart suddenly beat erratically, and I felt an unexpected pang in my chest. What the hell? A familiar feeling rushed through my mind and into my heart. The feeling that I always ignore—the feeling that I used to forget.

I nearly grab my chest because it fucking hurts. Dammit! I can not hardly balance my weight. I remember how Rap reacted when I tried to touch the paintings in his house. It is no wonder that he must really have cherished his wife. I want to laugh at myself. I must look like a damn fool. I tried so hard to get his attention. I tried so hard to get Rap to notice me without realizing that the man I was trying to seduce had a wife. What a dumb bitch I am!

Just thinking of Rap's wife. Her wife's face. Her wife's talent and all. It ate up my ego and pride that was left in my body. 

"Dareen, are okay?" Tita's voice snapped me back.

"Mmm. Y-yes tita... I'm... fine." Thankfully, I successfully manage to answer Tita.

"Hmm. Anyway, I just don't get what my son thinking... I told him to sell these paintings. But he always refuses. My son could not let go of his wife's painting until now."

I confusedly look at Tita and ask, "What do you mean, he cannot let go of his wife's paintings, Tita?" 

Tita sighed and took a one last glance at the painting in front of us before boring her eyes on me. "Raphael didn't mention anything about... his wife to you?"

Now that Tita asked about it. At this point, I realized that after a months of staying here with Rap, I barely knew him. In the past few days, we have gotten along well, and we even went beyond something, but he never mentioned even once about his life. He asked about mine, yet I could not pull myself away from asking about his. 

Sa ganda kong ito, ang tanga ko rin naman talaga. But you cannot blame me. I like him and even beyond that. And liking someone makes you stupid, makes you  hope even a slightest thing, and makes you assume.

Alam ko nakailang beses na rin akong kompisal sa sarili ko na hinanda ko na ang sarili ko sa ganitong sitwasyon pero ang ginawa kong pader ay isang suntok lang at natibag na ito.

It ain't sturdy enough to guard my heart, huh. 

I lowered my head. Damn. "Ahm... he really didn't mention about... his life on me, Tita."

Tita was shocked, but she regained her posture in an instant. Shaking her head, she said, "Well, now that we are on this, maybe I should tell you about it, Dareen. Besides, it is not a secret." Tita paused for a bit before resuming. "Raphael got married when he was only twenty-five. It's his decision and his girlfriend's, we can not do anything about it since it was their choice. But one day, Rap went home and saw his wife lifeless... and together with his wife, their unborn child was also gone. At that time, my son lost two of the most important people in his life. Before, Rap had a really cold expression, emotionless, but it got severe when his wife and child were gone. And up until now, my son has not been able to forgive himself. He blamed himself for the loss of his wife and child. He blamed himself because he wasn't able to protect them."

Humingang malalim si Tita. "Ever since, I haven't seen my son smile again, as if his life was only a black and white color. He hates gays because his wife was raped by her wife's gay friend. " Nabigla ako nang lumapit sa akin si Tita at kinuha ang dalawang kamay ko. "But because of you, Dareen, my son has started to change. I'm amazed by how you make him annoyed, but he's still soft on you. He is angry at you but still looks at you with gentleness and patience. I'm so happy that he was able to show his emotions again, Dareen. Thank you. Thank you so much for taking my son back to life, Dareen."

___

Sinusubukan ng powers ko na matapos itong story nina Rap at Dareen this year pero mukhang di ata kakayanin.🤣 Excited na rin kasi sa storyni Desmond at Finn kina Colt at Johan din😄😅🤣. Anyway, thank you po sa pagbabasa.❤🥰