The message was brief.

Namjoon didn't know what to make out of it, a 'happy holidays' expressed from that girl he wasn't sure he liked or hated, his thumb rubbing at the screen in disbelief.

She was an odd one, unreadable yet so open about her emotions at times. It made him confused.

She was a bundle of "pain in the ass", however, when he least expected it, she was reliable and quick thinking.

Namjoon played with the tips of his bangs, contemplating the way he had thought of her up till then.

Rowdy? Definitely. Aggressive? Without a doubt.

Empathetic?

Undeniably.

"A girlfriend I'm guessing?" His mother interrupted, walking past him as he stood in the doorway to the dining room, her hands holding a large pot of food.

He looked like a looming tree, in contrast to the small woman next to him, her soft features and small wrinkles witnesses of the passage of time, time he had spent away from her.

"Ah, mother, no. As if. Just a....an acquaintance," he chuckled, his mother placing a large plate of food on the dining table while Namjoon put his phone in his hoodie pocket.

Walking over to her, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her.

He missed her, he missed his mother like no tomorrow.

The scent that wafted from her was gentle, comforting to the poor man who ached to keep her near, combining with the smell of food reminding him that yes, he was home. 

They often say that a man's first love is always his mother, and for him, that was exactly it. She was his everything, his entire existence revolved around her.

Spending so long away from her, while many other adults did as normal functioning members of society, was something he just didn't want to do. He never knew when he'd see her again, and if he'd be spending holidays with her or with his fans. He didn't know if the next time he'd come to see her, she'd have a new set of wrinkles decorating her smile line, or if she'd be ill while he was absent.

She was proud of him, of the son she had created, proud of his accomplishments, of his skills, of how gentle he was with others and how hardworking he was, but she worried.

She worried he'd grow old alone.

She worried he'd become sick all alone on those stages, and even when he was surrounded by his bandmates, she knew he most likely spent hours by himself, thinking.

He was a very thoughtful man, but he also over thought everything, every detail taking him time to process, hence his stubborn way of spending time on his own, thinking.

He was the type to retreat into his own little world and ignore his welfare in exchange for keeping those around him healthy and happy.

Happy.

She'd often wonder if he was, yet never dared to ask.

"Mama, do you think our fans are crazy?" Namjoon asked out of the blue, his mother raising an eyebrow at him.

Was that what was troubling him?

She paused, thinking to herself.

She could almost read his mind, her son probably struggling between his fans being good or not. He had a way to place unwavering trust and belief in the people he loved, and these people who cheered him on were on that list. 

She knew better than to lie through her teeth, she knew better than to feign ignorance to the man who could read her better than her own husband could.

But she had to.

She had to try and ease his pain even just a little, even if her mind was telling her something else from what she'd respond.

"Crazy? Not necessarily. I mean they can be a bit intimidating, but I have received nothing but love from them," she assured him, hoping to lessen her son's worry.

For a moment, his expression softened, a "eureka" moment flashing past his eyes. 

"I'd love to say the same for Jiwoo noona," a voice echoed from the door, a voice that usually stirred trouble in the Kim household.

Both Namjoon and his mother turned to see his younger sister walk in, slipping out of her heels while placing her bag on the table near the entrance. 

She had gotten older from when he had last seen her, more mature, and less wild than before.

Namjoon and her often bickered, but for some reason, this was different. She wasn't bickering, no it wasn't that.

She had an expression that he could only describe as nostalgia, plastered on her face.

"Welcome back Oppa, I see you've been helping out with dinner," she mumbled, her eyes going to her phone which had buzzed as soon as she had walked in.

Namjoon sighed at her words, remembering the hate one of his bandmate's sister had gotten from simply being his sister.

Hateful comments like, "you are only doing X thing because of his clout," and hating on her friend for getting too close to his bandmate, had been only some of the mean words that had made the whole group paranoid of revealing anything more about their private lives. 

His sister was right, and he hated to admit it, but she was being more honest than his mother.

His heart wavered for a moment, but he continued to hold onto the belief everyone called naive. 

They weren't that bad?

Not all.

Maybe his ARMY was right and those others weren't fans, but extremists.

They weren't all that bad.

"Well, that was an isolated incident-"

"What about the time that tattoo artist got sent death threats because supposedly Jungkook was seen with her? Or the time Taehyung was stalked because he had a female friend or when Jimin Oppa-"

"That's enough Geong Min. Son, listen to me and keep this in mind, fans, fame, and fortune all come at a cost, and you've paid most of it throughout the years. Flaws. The more you look for them the more you'll find. But, if you choose to find the good of that cost, the cost won't be so grim. Trust me, son, everyone pays a different price to live, but you decide how it'll affect you."

Namjoon smiled sadly at her words.

That was her being honest, he could see it through the way her lips curled, the way her eyes became focused on him and only him.

She was being sincere.

"Have you considered going to group therapy?" His sister added, going over to give him a side hug.

"Group therapy?"

"Geong Min," his mother hissed at his sister, probably thinking she was being rude.

Namjoon shook his head, pulling a chair out from the dining table.

"It's okay mother. There's a lot we have been considering, so she's not too far off. We'll see how things go."

"I recommend it. My ex and I went to-"

Both his sister and his mother looked at each other.

"Your ex? You broke up with him?"

"Correction, he broke up with me. Differences in opinion," she mumbled through her teeth.

She was hiding something, but he didn't want to pry.

The word "ex" appeared to hurt her, and he had noticed.

He began to think, thoughts of the many things that had happened and the things that could come to happen trickling through his mind.

He had missed home.

~

Namjoon's heart nearly broke into a million pieces, his eyes going to his mother who was in the middle of eating, his father skimming through that morning's paper which he was yet to read.

"I have to go, mother," he said before standing up.

His face had gone pale, his legs being the only thing carrying his soulless body to his childhood bedroom.

"Where are you going, Joon?" She asked, Namjoon placing his carry bag on his shoulder.

Patting down his jeans, he checked for his wallet, dorm keys, house keys, and passport.

"One of my members was attacked when landing at his hometown. I must go," he answered, his mother nodding sadly.

She knew it.

He was a leader through and through.

He was her son.

He was the son she was proud of, the one she didn't get to see often, and who she loved dearly.

Picking up his phone, he booked the first flight to Busan, his mother opening a small coat closet and taking out the sweater he had gotten her three Christmases ago.

"Where are you going mother?" Namjoon asked, the woman already slipping into an old pair of worn-out sandals.

"Taking you to the airport no? Here," she smiled longingly, handing the tall man a pair of wide sunglasses and a blue disposable mask.

"For?"

"So we don't get trampled," she chuckled, her son smirking sadly at her.

Without hesitation, she took him where he had to go, kissed him good-bye, and drove home, tears welling up in her eyes.

"You sure have grown up," she mumbled to herself.

~

He sat patiently at the foot of his bed, the youngest member of his group waking up after haven been sedated for a couple of hours.

"Nice glasses, Hyung," Jungkook croaked.

They had had to put him under to take out several glass shards that had logged into his skull after he was pushed into a glass divider, all of the members all getting up and sighing in relief when hearing his sense of humor fill the room.

"Bald, not a bad look," he chuckled, his hand touching his head while attempting to sit up, Jin, the eldest of the men, immediately running up to help him.

"How in the fuck did someone just-"

Jimin interrupted, Hoseok holding Jimin back by his large coat, the man appearing ready to walk out the door and hurt someone.

Jimin and Jungkook had both shared the same flight, and Jimin felt guilty for not being by his side when the 'accident' occurred. All of them had a face full of dread, specially Namjoon.

He was unsure of what to even say, how to even make the situation any better.

"A private jet. I've said it before, I'll say it again, we need to start investing in them," Taehyung mumbled, both Namjoon and Jin shaking their head to his words. 

"I can't believe they'd do this to him. He didn't even do anything to provoke them," Jin lamented.

It was an odd situation to be in since none of the men had ever been attacked before.

"One thing is for sure, those weren't fans. Whoever did it isn't even human in my eyes," Jin assured them, Jungkook motioning for them to hand him his self phone inside his sweater's pocket.

Namjoon walked over to get the bag of his belongings before handing it to him, the young boy rummaging through the plastic bag desperately. The members helped him look through it, Jin, the eldest, pushing him back to rest against the bed's pillow.

"Don't strain yourself. Do you know how hard the doctors worked to stitch you back up?"

"I have to tell my parents, don't scold me. Would you all give me a moment?" Jungkook smiled sadly, the men nodding at his command and filing out of the room like a well-organized line of kindergarteners. 

Before closing the door behind him, Namjoon paused, listening in to the conversation between the youngest member and his parents.

Jungkook's eyes turned watery at the sound of his worried mother's voice, each sentence he spoke into his phone harder for him to make out, Namjoon's heart feeling like it was being pulled out from his throat. 

It was a torment, to watch the youngest of his groupmates, the youngest of his friends- the youngest of his brothers, suffering.

He didn't deserve to feel so uneasy, to be stuck in a hospital when he was supposed to be visiting his loved ones. 

"I underestimated how far you'd go. You are the same as them to me," Namjoon mumbled to himself, finally closing the door slowly. 

~

"What should we do?" Yoongi asked, looking over at their leader who had finally joined them out in the hallway, the sound of nurses muffling the sound of the small gasps of passers-by.

"Could you first fill me in on what happened?" Namjoon asked, his eyes glaring over at Jimin.

"A-apparently Jungkook stopped to help an ARMY up who had been trampled and someone shouted something along the lines 'back off he's mine' and pushed him into a glass divider. I didn't see anything because I was still picking up my luggage. I swear I didn't-" Jimin's sobs interrupted him.

"I-i didn't mean to leave him alone," he cried. 

Namjoon's expression softened, Taehyung going over to hug the crying man.

"We are gaining a lot of attention here Hyung, I think it's best we left so that Jungkook could rest at ease. Jimin, you mind staying with him? I want the rest of you guys to go home and enjoy your time off," Namjoon motioned at Jin, the other members immediately shaking their heads.

"I understand that you want to protect him, and I agree that we should leave as to not gain attention to his room, however, I am not willing to leave, Hyung," Taehyung responded, the rest of the men grabbing a hold of the man's shoulder in agreement. 

"Suit yourselves. Jimin, I still want you to stay back. Call your parents to let them know where you are. I hope everyone else's parents also know where you guys are. Depending on how long he has to stay here I will decide how long I'll let you guys stay. You should all be enjoying time with your family. If push comes to shove, I can stay with him, but please. Let us go to a hotel or somewhere private," Namjoon begged them, the members looking at one another and nodding in unison. 

Jimin whipped his tears off before bowing to all of them as if he were apologizing. Going back in with Jungkook, one of the bodyguards they had standing at the foot of the door while two others waited on each side of the hall, three more followings behind the remaining members out of the hospital and into a tinted van, on their way out, the members greeting their manager.

The manager seemed sad as he greeted them, but urging them to get to safety, the men running off and promising to speak to him later.

"Press?" Jin asked as they got in the van, pointing over at several people running to the hospital with large cameras in hand or a microphone.

"Probably. I would have preferred to have stayed but we'd be an inconvenience to the hospital. Jungkook is much better off with his family taking care of him," Hoseok sighed, the driver slowly pulling out of the pick-up area. 

"Oh, by the way, I know this is a little off-topic, and I didn't get to mention this earlier but I plan to enlist in two years. I was talking it over with the boss on our way here. PD thinks it's a good idea for Hoseok and me to start doing our time," Namjoon added, the members all looking over at him in shock.

"I can see why," Jin responded, the sound of the ambulance of little comfort to the men.

~

"Can you believe it?" May cried out in fury, Nia looking over at her red-faced friend.

It had been the talk of the hour, Jungkook getting hospitalized because a fan pushed him into some glass, Nia saddened by the news as she made breakfast. 

"I can't believe how incompetent some women are. I'm so grateful they didn't hurt Namjoon at least," May cooed while grabbing onto a metal pendant on her neck with Namjoon's picture in it.

Nia slammed a knife she was holding into a cutting board.

"At least?" she whispered to herself.

"You okay Nia?" May asked from the other room.

For a moment Nia had no idea how to answer.

At least.

Those words sounded so selfish.

"Is he doing okay?"

"From what the sources say, he hit the floor hard, so nobody knows. There are even some videos. There's so much blood. I'm so glad MY Joonie Oppa wasn't hurt, but other than that, no comments from within the hospital. Rumors are that all of BTS showed up," May responded nonchalantly, her reply so uncaring of the situation.

Nia felt a small click within her like a switch had been ignited inside of her soul, burning slowly through the muscle and making its way towards her lungs.

Picking up her phone, Nia messaged the only other person she had ever mentioned her infatuation of BTS to.

"I feel so bad for one of the members of BTS. He was hurt badly today. You probably wouldn't get it but... I feel so sorry for him."

She didn't realize when she got a reply but she took a while before getting a reply to her message.

"Good."

◈◈◈◈◈

Been so long since I updated bc I've A) been unsure as to how to continue some parts, B) Been busy with work and school,  and C) been live streaming on Twitch.

With that out of the way, I hope I don't have such a long pause again but I make no promises.

Half-way to the last chapters -ish

Marili Cruz

~♡~