"And it won't change the fact that I still like you," bulong ko.

Alam ko namang hindi niya iyon narinig at wala akong balak iparinig sa kaniya. Nilingon ko siya para tingnan kung sinusundan niya ba ako pero para siyang naestatwa sa kinatatayuan niya. Anyare sa kaniya? Narinig niya ba 'yong sinabi ko?

The eff!

Nagmadali na lang akong pumasok sa cafeteria upang takasan ang kahihiyan, pero nakita kong sinundan niya pa rin ako.

"Hey, don't run!" He held my arm. Because of the length of his arms, he reached me quickly.

And as an ending, we ate lunch together. I don't know where Anne is, but she might be having a conversation with her boyfriend now. I really need her now, but she's gone.

My heart was beating fast, and I was restless because the students were looking at us. If Jhon Rey were just a normal person, we wouldn't be getting such attention like this. I can admit that he's a matinee idol, or should I say heartthrob, because people couldn't stop looking at him. I don't want this kind of attention, but I guess I have no choice. Pakiramdam ko, marami silang sinasabing masasama tungkol sa akin sa paraan ng pagbato nila ng mga tingin.

I sighed. I shouldn't think too much. I'll just eat whatever I'm eating now.

"Why a sudden sigh?" he asked, causing me to look at him.

"N-nothing," I replied. "I just thought of something."

"I see." He wiped his mouth, and that's when I noticed he had already finished his food. "I thought you didn't want me here."

I was stunned. So he feels that I don't want him here? Well, tama naman siya. I feel a bit awkward with him being here in front of me, even though we ate together yesterday. Iba pa rin kapag nasa gitna kami ng iba pang mga estudyante na nasaksihan ang nangyari sa amin kamakailan lang, tapos ngayon makikita naman nila kaming magkasama at sabay na kumakain na para bang mag-asawa. Well, we'll be married, but I can't get used to this atmosphere. Why is he eating with me out of the blue?

"I'm just not used to it," I simply implied.

I really can't stop wondering. I guess I can't get used to him being like that.

"Then be used to it since I'll be your husband," litanya na halos magpaubo sa akin. Muntik na akong mabulunan. "It's normal for a married couple to eat together like this."

Wala na akong nagawa kung hindi sumang-ayon. We finished eating, and he paid for our lunch. We went out of the cafeteria, and thankfully, the attention that was on me earlier is gone.

He's walking with me. I hope we have something to discuss, but now I realize we have no common interests. Wala kaming mapag-usapan man lang. Sabagay, baka ayaw niya rin kasi akong kausap.

"Oh, I almost forgot." I looked at him when he spoke. "The cupcakes that your mother made were really tasty."

It must be the ones that my mom gave him yesterday.

"I wonder if you learned to bake from her."

Wait, did he remember the cupcakes I gave him before?

"Yeah, I learned from her, and it's been my hobby since then," sagot ko habang ikinukubli ang kaunting galak. Nagbukas siya ng mapag-uusapan naming dalawa. Hindi ko inaasahan.

"I see. That's why the tastes are almost the same, but I prefer the one that you made. No offense to Mrs. Velasco." He smiled, which surprised me. It was as if the world suddenly slowed down and I could only see him. Napakaganda ng ngiti niyang iyon, lalo na't nasisinagan siya ng sikat ng araw. I feel like I am watching a TV commercial.

"Thank you, but are you trying to make my heart flutter?" I squinted and tried to break the ice too. If my heart continues to beat at this rate, I will most certainly pass out.

"Why?" He seemed confused, but his smile is still there. "Did it flutter?"

"Every time," I mumbled, and I guarantee he never heard that. Pero dahil humagikgik siya ng tawa, mukhang kahit gaano kahina ang boses ko o kahit na bumulong lang ay hindi makakatakas sa pandinig niya.

"I see. You know what? My mother used to bake, too. Would you like to bake with her sometime?" he offered.

Hindi naman ako nakapagsalita kaagad. Anong ibig niyang sabihin?

"S-sure."

Naalala ko ang tungkol sa kaniyang ina. His mother looked kind, especially when she talked to me and said hello the last time they visited the house. I wonder, kung makakasundo ko ba ang mama niya.

"Alright, tell me whenever you get time," he implied. "I'll make a way so the two of you can bond."

I couldn't help but stare at him. Gumagawa ba siya ng paraan para magkalapit kami ng mama niya? Is it normal for the groom to do this?

"Or the three of you," he suggested. "It will be enjoyable if your mother can join you as well, of course."

"How about you?" I asked. "What do you do when you have time?"

"Oh, I fired gun."

Napaawang ang bibig ko. "R-right, that's why you're good at shooting games."

Katulad siya ng hobby ni dad. It turns out we don't have any common interests, but we ended up learning that my hobby is the same as his mom's, and his hobby is the same as my dad's. How I wish Jhon Rey and Dad could get along, even though this marriage is for business only.

"I need to learn it," he said. "My dad always points his gun toward me."

I stopped walking when I heard that from him. Muli akong napalingon sa kaniya. "What do you mean?" My eyebrows met in curiosity.

"I always get a death threat from my father every time he gets disappointed with me."

That surprised me a lot. I thought I was the only one who experienced such cruel things from my father. Siya rin pala.

"That's why I decided to live on my own."

I remembered him telling me that.

"But when they learned what happened between us, my father wanted to restrict my privileges and even get me out of that unit. That's why I have no choice but to obey them and pursue you, so I can still live."

So that was the reason he keeps treating me this way.

I felt sorry for him. We were the same at some point, and our father hates us. Dad also once or even more pointed his gun at me and wished me to die. I know how it feels, and it's really downgrading when your father wants you to disappear.

"So I am sorry if you're being uncomfortable with me," he muttered. "I was rude and then suddenly became like this, 'cause I really need your help this time."

Pinagmasdan ko siya. I can see how sincere he is.

The table has now turned upside down, but I can't bring myself to take revenge on him. Now that he needed me, I had to stay by his side.

"I understand," I stated. "You can use me this time."

It feels weird, but I can see now why he needs me now. He couldn't afford to lose his unit and all the privileges; that's why he's here and proceeding with what our family wants. I don't know where all of this will go, but I'll just let myself go with the flow.

Napatingin ako sa building namin. I didn't realize that our walk had brought us here.

"Are you going somewhere?" he asked.

I was planning to go to the dean's office after having lunch, but I heard that she and the other faculty were not there. It is said that there is a tour for the lower years, and they went there to facilitate the children.

I'll just wait for Dean to come back before I talk to her and apologize for what I did last time. I know I disappointed her and scared her, so I really need to make things right this time. I'll visit her when she returns.

"Nope, I'm going back to our room," I asked before turning to him. "How about you?"

"I'm just going somewhere for a while," he says. "I'll see you later."

I nodded before walking towards the room. But before I entered, I looked at him. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya pupunta pero hindi ko na 'yon karapatan para itanong pa. Ikakasal lang kami sa papel. Hindi niya ako mahal para ipaalam pa sa akin ang lahat.

"Oh, are you two getting to know each other?" I was surprised when Anne came in next to me. She was leaning on the door while also looking at Jhon Rey walking away from our building.

I exhaled. "Alam ko na kung bakit niya ako gustong pakasalan ngayon," I spilled.

"I see, and it made you sad," saad niya. "Bakit? Do you think he did that because he already has some feelings for you?"

Umiling ako. "I'm not hopeful," I admit. "I know how hard it is to forget the person you loved so much, dahil naranasan ko rin iyon, and now because of a mistake, you can't marry the one you promised to be with because you'll be tied to someone else."

I heard Anne take a deep breath. "And it hurts me too to see you love the one who will never love you." She patted my shoulders. "Thinking that you will lose the chance to be happy on the day you get married makes my heart shattered."

Inayos niya ang buhok ko. "I always imagined you smiling at your wedding while I was watching you be loved by the one you love." She smiled forcefully. "But it turned out like this."

She sniffed. "I'm really sorry that you have to experience this, Sheen May."

"Even I can't seem to be happy because of that," patuloy niya pa. "How I wish for you to be happy, especially on your wedding day."

I saw her wipe her cheek while she was doing her monologues. She smiled at me and caressed my back. She's comforting me when, in fact, she's the one who needs it because she's already crying.

"I will be happy, Anne."

"Be sure of it, or else I'll forcefully take you from him."

I laughed.