A/N: Wow, I'm alive, guys! I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. I swear I'm working on the new chapters, but I've been feeling under the weather lately... with a mild cough and occasionally a super mild fever... *glances around* Anywho!! I was trying to sleep last night when my brain oh-so-happily supplied me with THIS. And I can't draw, so I wrote it instead!

My depression's been kicking my ass lately, so please keep that in mind, too. I wrote this to the One Piece OST: If You Live, and I'd highly recommend listening to it on a loop while reading this.

And because I'm nice, I wrote an alternate ending for you, as well. (See next chapter). Please enjoy! And expect slower updates on all my stories. I swear I'm working on them!

All fanart can be sent to [email protected]. Thank you~! You all rock!

It should be raining. The dark-haired man squinted against the clear blue skies as tears slid down his cheeks. His calloused hand rested upon the cold grey headstone as a gentle breeze caressed his face, chilling the liquid upon his cheeks. Birds happily chirped from their branches as the day moved on.

But Aizawa Shouta didn't. The world was grayscale, now. It was cold and meaningless and his heart hurt with every beat. Each breath was shallow and shaky and he sank to his knees as a strangled sob broke from his dry lips.

It shouldn't be like this. It should've been one horrific nightmare. He thought it was bad when Shirakumo died, but... This was infinitely worse. He let his hand slide off the grave as he hugged the leather jacket to himself, burying his nose in the familiar material.

His scent was stale, but it was there. For a moment, he swore he felt his arms around him, holding him close to his chest like he always did when Shouta was close to breaking.

Then the wind came and washed away the phantom warmth with its chilly touch, and Shouta let out another broken sob.

It should've been him.

He should've been the one in the grave, not...

He jumped when his phone dinged, reminding him that he had places to be. Things to do.

Things he didn't want to do. Places he didn't want to be. He wanted to stay there, curled up against the grave until his body finally listened to his wants and just quit. Until his shattered heart finally bled out and fell silent.

Until he died, too.

But he'd tried that, already. After a full day of laying there in the pouring rain, Nemuri had found him and dragged him back to the apartment.

Shouta hadn't gone back to school. His students were worried about him, and Midoriya in particular seemed awfully sympathetic. In fact, he'd often find the kid coming to his place (he didn't question how the kid knew where he lived, and he honestly didn't care much at this point) and just... filling the silence. He wouldn't really talk much, but he'd hum and put on some music and cook Shouta dinner.

He never asked for it, but some part of him appreciated it. The kid would give him this understanding look. Like he knew what Shouta was going through.

He ignored his phone, though. His eyes lingered on the name of the gravestone, and he felt his heart shatter all over again.

Yamada Hizashi

He distantly heard footsteps approaching, scuffing the dirt loudly to let him know they were behind him. He felt something drape over his shoulders, and reached up to find a blanket.

"Sensei." Midoriya sat beside him. God, Shouta was a mess. But in his defense, it'd only been a week. And if he was being honest, he really didn't care right now. He just wanted to die.

His green eyes flickered to something for a moment before coming to rest on Shouta again.

"I don't want to hear it." Shouta bit out angrily, his voice hoarse from disuse and crying. " 'It'll get easier.' 'You'll be okay.' 'I'm sorry for your loss.'" He sneered at the ground. "I'm sick of it. I'm sick of people telling me that. I don't want it." He fisted the grass beside the grave... Hizashi's grave.

His heart shattered again.

"I know you want to die." Midoriya said quietly, and Shouta's head slowly rose until his bloodshot eyes met steady green. "I've struggled with that my whole life." He rolled up his sleeves to show scars... scars that Shouta had never seen on this child before. "But I've learned... even when you want to die and join the people that've gone before us..." His eyes flickered again. "I couldn't bear to make them sad, too."

"What?" Shouta felt lost. What was he trying to say? He felt like he should understand, but he could hardly focus on the person before him.

"What would Yamada-sensei say if you killed yourself because of him?"

Shouta's heart clenched. That wasn't fair. "That's not fair!" He glared. "You can't throw that at me!"

"Sensei." And damnit, why was Midoriya so fucking calm?! He didn't want it! He wanted him to just piss off.

"Just leave."

"Sensei."

"LEAVE!" He screamed, clenching his fists at his side as he jumped to his feet. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" A strangled sob broke from him. "I just want to die. Please... just let me die."

He felt warm arms encircle him as a gentle hand patted his head. "I won't leave you alone, sensei. Because my heart's breaking with you." Midoriya's words struck something in Shouta. "It's hard. I know it is, believe me. But you have to go on. Know that he's watching over you. And we're here for you, sensei. All of 1–A cares about you. We want to help. We want to be here for you. But you have to let us in." The hug tightened as his student shook with suppressed sobs. "Please stop shutting us out."

For a moment, he imagined Hizashi. Hizashi's arms encircled around him and holding him as he cried. Hizashi's shoulders shaking as he watched Shouta break before his grave. Hizashi begging him to let them in and help him.

And Shouta hugged Midoriya back, sobbing unrestrained into his student's shoulder. He didn't care that he was just a kid and Shouta was his homeroom teacher. For that moment, Shouta thought of Midoriya as a friend. As an equal. As someone that he could break in front of.

It should've been raining, because Shouta's sunshine was gone.

But then Midoriya smiled and Shouta realized that there were still people to protect. People who cared about him. People who could light up the world with color.

"Please help me." Shouta whispered.

"All you had to do was ask." Midoriya smiled softly as he helped Shouta home.

It would not be easy. But maybe... it was okay to try to move forward. And maybe it was okay to crumble a bit, too.

Until tomorrow, Hizashi.