17. Brendon gets a puppy to counteract his sorrows.

In the end, life went on. My cuts and bruises healed, although I still had a nasty black eye. My family never doubted for a second that I had run into a door, and I stuck with the same story when everyone at work asked me what had happened. Lying only made it easier for me to move on, and that's what I did.

On Monday morning, Brendon called me. "Can you pick me up from rehearsal today?" he asked.

"Why do you need to be picked up?" I asked.

"My dad's staying late at work, and my mom's trying to help Ryan get a job," Brendon explained. "Can you please just pick me up at the community theater at four?"

"Yes, I can do that," I said.

"Thanks Pete!" Brendon said. He hung up, and I went back to lying on the couch, thinking about the Neo-Nazis. Even as I lied to everyone I knew, my mind wouldn't stop replaying everything that had happened. I tried to distract myself with a book or a video game or a song, but nothing worked. I wrote some poetry, and then reminded myself that the poets are just kids who didn't make it. Besides, writing only made me more miserable.

Shortly before four o'clock, I got into the DeLorean and drove to the theater. When I got there, Brendon was standing in front of the theater, talking to a group of girls. As soon as he saw the DeLorean, he waved goodbye to his friends and climbed into the passenger seat of the car.

"You just wanted me to pick you up so your theater friends would see you getting into a DeLorean," I said.

"Yeah, pretty much," Brendon said. He smiled as he looked out the window and waved to his friends one more time. Once we were far enough away from the theater, he looked back at me and noticed my black eye. "What happened to your face, Pete?"

"Do you remember anything about Saturday night, Brendon?" I asked.

"Saturday night was kind of a blur, which means that it must have been awesome!" Brendon said. I decided not to break whatever fantasy Brendon had about what had happened that night, so I stayed quiet. "Tell me, Pete, was Dallon Weekes there?"

"No, I never saw Dallon at the Sunshine Riptide," I answered.

"That's disappointing," Brendon said. "I'm still mad at him for breaking up iDKHOW, but he's just so cute."

"He doesn't like you," I reminded Brendon.

"Maybe he'll change his mind," Brendon said.

"I doubt it," I said.

"You don't get it, Pete," Brendon said as I parked in front of his house. "Dallon's worse than nicotine." I was about to respond to him when Brendon suddenly got out of the car and yelled, "Pete! Come over here!"

"What is it?" I asked. Brendon didn't respond - instead, he sprinted across the yard, running after a little black and white creature. At first, I just sat in the car, bewildering by what I was seeing. After a few minutes, Brendon was still running back and forth across the yard. I eventually got out of the car to see what all of the fuss was about, but then I saw what Brendon was chasing.

It was a puppy.

The dog barked happily as it ran around Brendon's yard, and when Brendon got close enough, it jumped on him, yipping and licking his leg. "Isn't it adorable?" Brendon said.

"That puppy is pretty cute," I admitted. With its oversized ears and huge, deep brown eyes, I could see why Brendon was so obsessed with chasing down this puppy.

"I just want to take it inside and keep it forever," Brendon said. He picked the puppy up and scratched its ears. The puppy curled up in Brendon's arms, gently licking him, and even I had to admit it was pretty adorable.

I came to my senses and said, "Brendon, you can't do that."

"Why not?" Brendon asked, still petting the puppy. "It doesn't have a collar - I think it's a stray."

"Gabe's vision said that you would get a puppy," I said. "We can't make it come true."

"I really want a puppy though," Brendon said.

"I really want Gabe to live," I said. "Maybe we can bring the puppy to an animal shelter or something."

"Or I could keep the puppy," Brendon said. "Gabe doesn't need to know about it."

"How long can we really keep this away from Gabe?" I asked.

"He's coming to my house tomorrow," Brendon said.

"See?" I said. "He'll find out soon enough. You can't keep that puppy, Brendon."

Brendon pouted, held the puppy in front of him, and looked into its large, brown eyes. "I want to name it, but I'm not sure whether it's a boy or a girl," he said. "Pete, do you like Penny Lane as a name, or is it too girly?"

"Brendon, don't name it," I said. "You can't get attached."

"I'm calling it Penny Lane," Brendon said as the dog licked his nose. "I can't wait to tell Ryan about this. He'll love the name that I picked out."

"That's it," I said as I started to walk back toward the car. "We're bringing that dog to the animal shelter right now."

"No!" Brendon exclaimed, holding the puppy closer. "I need something to keep me happy after everything that's happened."

"Are you serious, Brendon?" I said. "Everyone else has bigger problems than you, but you're saying that you're the one who needs something to keep you happy."

"What are you talking about?" Brendon asked as he stroked the puppy's head.

"Gabe's literally going to die, Ryan was homeless until less than a month ago, a group of Neo-Nazis beat me up on Saturday night..."

"Wait, what?" Brendon said. "You got beat up by Neo-Nazis? Is that where you got the black eye?" I nodded, and Brendon added, "That's horrible. Why would they do such a thing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I said.

Brendon paused for a moment, and then he realized what I was trying to say. To the Neo-Nazis, I wasn't really a person: I was biracial and bisexual, and for that, I deserved whatever I got. "I'm sorry, Pete," Brendon said. "It disgusts me to think that anyone could be so bigoted."

"Do you see my point now?" I said. "You're acting like you're the only person who ever has problems, but you're not."

"I do have some problems though," Brendon said. "Dallon doesn't like me."

"I could have told you that, even before we read Dallon's diary," I said. "He's probably straight, and even if he's not, it's obvious that he doesn't like you, and he never will."

"Straight guys don't wear glitter tears," Brendon said.

"Most guys don't do that, regardless of their sexual orientation," I argued. "Most guys also don't put their bass pick on their forehead. Dallon's not gay - he's just crazy. What don't you understand about that?"

"He's not crazy," Brendon said. "He's creative, and he's way ahead of his time. Maybe all of those things will be cool in the future or something."

"You need to get over him," I said.

Brendon paused and then asked, "What will I have left in my lonely little life if I don't have Dallon?"

"You'll have your friends," I said.

"Yeah, but I've always felt like a third wheel around you and Gabe," Brendon said. "You probably told Gabe about the Neo-Nazis before you told me, didn't you?"

"You were high when that happened," I said. "If I had told you, you wouldn't have remembered it anyways."

"My point still stands," I said.

He was right. Gabe and I had always been closer than either of us were with Brendon, but I had never really thought about that before. "I'll try to be a better friend to you, but you have to get over Dallon," I said. "There are other fish in the sea, you know."

"Are there any other ridiculously tall, glitter-teared, dancing, singing, bass-playing fish in the sea who are so bad at lip-syncing to their own songs that they got cut from Pop Time Live and once told me 'Hey Brendon, could you didgeri-don't?'"

I didn't even know how to respond to that one, so I just watched as Brendon cuddled with the puppy. Eventually, I said, "You know, Ryan likes you."

"Ryan?" Brendon said in disbelief. "Ryan's just a friend. Why do you think that he likes me?"

"I've seen the way that he looks at you," I said. "He's definitely into you. You're the tear in his heart, but you've been so obsessed with Dallon lately that you haven't noticed."

Brendon thought about it for a moment, still petting the puppy. "Ryan is kind of cute," Brendon concluded. "He's not Dallon though."

"Just think about it," I said.

"What about you, Pete?" Brendon said. "You're trying to give me relationship advice, but you're still single, aren't you?"

I shrugged and said, "I guess so." I thought of Patrick - he probably still thought that Gabe and I were together. Admittedly, we had given him plenty of reasons to think that, but now, whatever we had was gone. It was my fault - I was the one who had destroyed our budding relationship. "There was a guy named Patrick, but I screwed everything up," I told Brendon. "He thinks that Gabe and I are together now."

"That's silly," Brendon said. "You two haven't dated since sophomore year. You should just tell him the truth."

"I want to, but I haven't gotten a good opportunity yet," I said.

"Don't wait for a good opportunity," Brendon said. "Just do it."

"That's terrible advice, Brendon," I said.

"You don't have to take it if you don't want to," Brendon said. All of a sudden, the puppy jumped out of Brendon's arms and ran into the bushes. "Penny Lane, get back here!" Brendon exclaimed. He ran off to chase the dog, but to our surprise, the dog came back on its own. "I think it likes me," Brendon said. "Pete, can I please just keep it? I'll keep it a secret from Gabe."

I thought about it for a while, but in the end, the choice was easy. It would be cruel to separate Brendon from this puppy that so clearly loved him, even if Gabe would find out eventually. We just had to keep it a secret from him for as long as possible. "You can keep it, I guess," I said.

Brendon cheered and ran inside with Penny Lane. "You can come inside if you want, Pete," Brendon said.

I went into Brendon's house and watched his new puppy run around the house. He used a torn-up sneaker as an impromptu dog toy, careful to keep Penny Lane away from the cassette deck. We just hung out for a while, chatting and playing with Penny Lane.

Eventually, Brendon's mom arrived at home, bringing Ryan with her. When they walked through the door, Penny Lane ran straight toward them and barked excitedly. "Brendon!" Mrs. Urie shouted. "What is this dog doing in my house?!"

"It's cute," Ryan said as he stopped to pet the dog.

"It's a stray," Brendon explained. "I named it Penny Lane."

"After the Beatles song?" Ryan said. "That's a great name, Brendon."

"I knew you would love it," Brendon said, smiling.

"We'll talk about this later, Brendon," Mrs. Urie said, still clearly unhappy about the dog. She left the room, and I watched as Brendon and Ryan both petted Penny Lane.

"Did you get a job?" Brendon asked Ryan.

"Not yet," Ryan said. He gazed into Brendon's eyes, and it was evident how he felt about him.

"You're right, Pete," Brendon mouthed. "He's totally into me."

Thankfully, Ryan didn't seem to notice. "I still have a few more places that I can apply though," he said. "What have you been up to today?"

"Not much," Brendon said. "I went to a Sound of Music rehearsal, and then I hung out with Pete."

All of a sudden, the phone rang, and Brendon picked it up. "Hello?" he said. There was a pause, and then he said, "Oh, hey Gabe. What's up?"

That was when Penny Lane began to bark at a deafening volume. Ryan and I both tried to get Penny Lane to move into another room, but it didn't work. The dog wouldn't budge. "Sorry about the noise," Brendon said into the phone. "It's just...well...um..."

I tried to pick up Penny Lane, but as soon as I lifted the dog up, it jumped out of my arms and nearly tackled Brendon. "Penny Lane!" Brendon shouted. "Stop it!" Ryan grabbed the puppy, but it ran away from him too.

"No Gabe, you don't need to come over," Brendon said into the phone. "It's just my dog."

"Brendon, what are you doing?" I said as Ryan chased Penny Lane into another room. "You can't tell Gabe about Penny Lane!"

Brendon didn't respond to me. "Yeah, I got a puppy," he said into the phone. "I found it outside my house, and I think it's a stray...I named it Penny Lane...why, thank you, Gabe...I'm really sorry, okay? I just couldn't leave it on its own...I'll talk to you later, Gabe. Pete and Ryan are here...I'm sorry about everything...See you later."

"Why did you tell Gabe about the puppy?" I asked once Brendon had hung up.

"He was asking me about all of the barking," Brendon said. "I couldn't lie to him about something like that. He would have figured it out anyways."

"I understand," I said, still cursing myself for not just bringing Penny Lane to the animal shelter. I could have avoided all of this.

I stayed at Brendon's house for another few hours, but with Brendon and Ryan cracking inside jokes all the time, it wasn't exactly fun. Is this how Brendon feels around Gabe and I all the time? I wondered.

After dinner, I decided to drive home. I drove in circles around my neighborhood in an attempt to clear my mind, but it didn't quite work. Everything still felt wrong, and I couldn't say why. Maybe it was the black eye or my regret over letting Brendon keep Penny Lane or Patrick's sudden absence from my life, but I felt miserable, and the only way to cure that misery was to drive around in circles, listening to my favorite goth bands. Everything would be alright someday, but today was not that day.