"Hold on a second," Seokjin raised his hand in a halting motion as he closed his eyes. "So you're telling me you met your son, and on top of that, you have him and Inaya Chen captive in your house?"
I leaned against the backrest of my executive chair and let out a loaded sigh. People can be so painfully dense. You explain it once, twice, and they still don't get it. But fine— I'll do it. For what it's worth, it'd set the facts straight. "I have no one captive, Seokjin. They're in my house — where they belong, if I might highlight—out of their own volition. Don't twist my words."
"Semantics. We both know that." Seokjin sipped his coffee with a lazy grin. The shocked look on his face from a few seconds ago was long gone. "The question at hand here is until when you plan to keep them locked up."
He was starting to get on my nerves real fast, just like the weather outside. It was raining cats and dogs, shitting all over my plans to train Ethan in Lacross. I'd promised him yesterday after we'd spent the afternoon together — just me and him—in the neighborhood cyber café. Inaya needed some alone time. She didn't ask for it explicitly, but I realized that the conflicting thoughts in her head needed some sifting through. After all, I had dropped a bomb in her lap. So I made myself scarce and took the opportunity to spend some time with my son.
I found it cute, the way she avoided me after our conversation. She locked herself in her room and only came out again when we returned from the cyber café with In-and-Out. Dinner lacked Inaya's sarcasm, but it wasn't free of her intrusive glances. She thought I hadn't noticed the way she looked at me. Full of questions to which she seemed to have no answers. And I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't thought about telling her everything. About how her so-called boyfriend took everything from me and threw me in prison. About how he claimed my son and falsified the medical records to hide the fact that Lana was pregnant before she died. I really wanted her to know the truth and side with me, because the prospect of using her was starting to disgust me to the core. But then again,would she even believe me? Who would believe some fucked up shit like that? And more importantly, who would believe a complete stranger over the person they loved? No one. That is. And I might be Inaya's subject of interest. Hell,I might even be someone she appreciates to a certain point, but I was still far behind whatever she felt for Yoongi.
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. Nobody's captive, Seokjin. Case in point, I let them have the house. I'm staying in my house."
And it was the truth. There was only that much pushing a person could tolerate before they snapped. I didn't want Inaya to snap — not yet. So I told her she could stay in my house until she found herself a place. I knew she had a photoshoot scheduled today that I refused to postpone so I could hang out with Ethan, so I suggested I stay with him while she was at work.
Seokjin leaned against the couch and looked at me intently, like he was studying an alien phenomenon. "Where are you going with all of this, Taehyung?" He quickly propped his elbows on his knees and squinted his eyes. "Where are you taking her?"
Smart question. See, if there was one thing I could say about Seokjin, it was that he was a smart man who always had his eyes on the future. He didn't like the past. He always saw it as something limiting. A prison, if you will. He didn't like the present either. He saw no thrill in something that was already unfolding. His focus was always on the future. On the what next. I liked that trait in him. Maybe we even shared it. Maybe he taught me how to adopt it. Because I wasn't like this before. I used to live in the moment, used to enjoy it. But back then, the moment was beautiful. It had everything I wanted. Now the present was dull. The past was the drive. The future was bleak, but it held hope as a promise. It held a moment I was looking forward to. Had my son written all over it — his smile, his voice, his future. A future I wouldn't let anyone take from me again.
"Somewhere safe," I offered confidently. "But you already know that. So why don't you ask what you really have in mind?"
"Fine." He got up and stood in front of the glass wall overlooking the city skyline. His hand was in his trouser pocket while the other scrubbed his chin. For some reason, that look seemed strange on him. He looked worried. "You can't play house and call it strategy, Taehyung. I know you have something up your sleeve that you're not saying. So let's be honest, what's your next move?"
"You know," I offered as I turned my seat so that I was facing him. "When you're playing cards, there's a point where you have to flip your cards over and show the other players what you've got. It's just how these games work." I tapped my fingers on the desk as a grin spread across my lips. It felt right. It felt good. At the right time, and soon it will be in the right place, too. "It's time to show my cards, Seokjin."
"Are you planning on revealing yourself to Yoongi?" His voice was a decibel louder than I could bear on a Tuesday morning. He ran to my desk and slapped his palms on the glass surface. "Have you finally gone mad? You should be thankful he's so mired in poverty that he's oblivious to your success and what you've become. Instead, you want to do what? Reveal yourself?" He scoffed with an ugly sound and raised his hands in the air as he gazed up at the ceiling as if the surface had access to my brain and had every explanation he was looking for. "No, no, no. You're either insane or high on some good shit."
His reaction didn't rattle me. I had kind of anticipated it. The original plan was to let things simmer on low heat before I came out to the light. But tactics change when you're playing cards based on your opponent's hand. My opponent had a strong card going on for him. I had to take it away. "About that," I said in a low tenor, maintaining eye contact. "Yoongi's no longer poor. Actually, that's why I called here, among other things. But you kept going all over the place I didn't have time to mention it."
"How do you mean?" A myriad of shades appeared on Seokjin's face. "We made sure their company was beyond saving. How could he possibly revive it overnight?"
"He didn't." Now it was my turn to stand in front of the glass wall, my hands in the pockets of my black pants. "And he wouldn't be able to even if he tried. The dead don't come back from the grave, you and I both know that." I pointed to my desk. "Check that file out. You have your answers there."
Seokjin rummaged through the file like a hungry beast. He didn't peel his eyes off the thick file until he had read the last word. He dropped the pile of papers on my desk, sank down on the chair and dragged his palm over his face. "Of course it's fucking Jeon Jung-wo. I should've seen that snake coming."
"His time will come too," I announced with certainty.
"Will it, though?" Seokjin's question might have sounded like a challenge if it hadn't been for the worry behind it. I looked at him and saw the words in his eyes before he uttered them. "Pray tell how now that you're playing lovey-dovey with his daughter."
"That's where you're wrong, Seokjin." I went to the cupboard and poured myself a glass. Seokjin didn't need alcohol. I needed him sharp, and now, sober as he was, he still wasn't using the full capacity of his brain. "How do you think Inaya Chen will react when she discovers the reality of Daddy dearest?" I tipped the glass, emptying the whole thing. "Poor thing will be devastated. One lie after another. What a sad state of affairs. Tell me, Seokjin. What happens when you can no longer trust anything or anyone? When you're lonely in a world full of lies?"
"You fall into the arms of the only constant in your life." Seokjin's grin wiped away the tiny doubt that had bored its way into my brain. He pointed his index finger at me and shook his head. "You son of a bitch."
I turned my head back to the glass wall and savored the majestic view. "Can't fault you on that one. She was indeed, considering how she got knocked up and threw her kid in a dumpster."
"Her loss, not yours." Seokjin put his arm over my shoulder as he stood next to me. "She discarded a winning card and lost the game. Happens to greedy gamblers."
I took a deep inhale, willing myself not to break the glass in my grip. "Do you think I'm a greedy gambler?" I didn't look at him as I uttered the words. He didn't look at me either, and for that,I was grateful.
"Greedy? I wouldn't say that. Ruthless? Hell, yeah. But that's what makes you the fucking card prodigy that you are." He tapped me on the shoulder, walked over to my desk, and sat down in my chair. "So, how do we want to tackle the grand finale, baby Kim?"
"Shut the fuck up. Now that you've mentioned that devil, he might just appear out of nowhere." At the mention of the nickname Jimin liked to call me, I scoffed. Come to think of it, I really should thank that motherfucker. After all, he was the reason I found out my son was with Inaya.
Seokjin laughed out loud as I pulled out my cell phone and texted Chul.
Me: Is everything set?
Chul: Nice and ready. Inaya Chen is paired with Estelle as you ordered. Give it a few more hours, and Estelle will start singing.
Me: Be her six for the entire day and report back.
I addressed a grinning Seokjin as I put on my vest. Ethan was home alone now that Inaya had started her shift. "You'll see for yourself. For now, I need you to gather everything you can on Jeon's new business. That way we have leverage if he decides to come back at us. Gotta run. Adios."
"Don't be shy. Send me some selfies with the little guy." Shouted Seokjin as I walked towards the door.
♦️♣️♥️♠️
"Man, you're cheating." I threw the console handle away and leaned back against the couch, clasping my hands at the back of my head.
"Or you could just tell it like it is," Ethan's smile was so wide and toothy and beautiful it injected humanity back into my veins. If only Lana could see how beautiful our child is. If only she could be with us right now, nagging at us for the three hours we spent playing Mario Cart instead of doing something productive. She's lost too much. I lost too much, but unlike her, I was done losing. I'd fight for my son until the last drop of blood drained from my body. "I'm the king in this game. Just bow down and go lick your wounds, bossman." He held his chin up and shooed me away with his hand.
"Shameless flexing is what you're doing." I accused with a pointed finger. "Don't you have no sympathy for an old citizen? Tsk, what has our world come to?"
"Oh, now you're guilt-tripping a child?" He mirrored my action, pointing his forefinger at me. "What has our world come to?"
We looked at each other with serious expressions. A beat of silence breezed by before we both burst out laughing. The years we had spent far apart seemed redundant in this instant. It was as if we had never been strangers. And he wasn't a stranger, at least not to me. But I was to him. Maybe not a complete stranger now that we were friends. But I wanted more. I wanted to hear him call me dad. I wanted to see his grade reports. I wanted to celebrate his graduation. I wanted to be there for his first day of college. I wanted to be there for him when his high school sweetheart gave him grief so I could give him my unsolicited advice. I wanted to teach him how to drive. I wanted to see him grow into a fine man because I couldn't see him grow into the fine kid he was. I wanted the whole package, and I'd be damned if I didn't get it.
"Hey, Ethan." I began when we came down of our laughter. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
My need to know about his dreams was just as great as my need to tell him the truth about our blood bond. I couldn't do the latter for many reasons, but the main one was that I couldn't bring myself to destabilize his world so abruptly. So I'd do with the former—for now. He was silent for a little longer than expected. Kids his age usually have a lot of dreams, because when you're ten, everything seems attainable. He flopped down on the couch and stroked his fluffy, raven-black hair. It was almost the same length as mine. A slightly short mullet. "I don't know. No one's ever asked me that before, so I've never thought about it." He turned so he was facing me and asked. "What was yours?"
I had no dreams. No resolutions. I just wanted a family. A man I could call father and a woman I could call mother. It didn't matter what they were— rich or poor. Teachers, doctors or janitors; I didn't care as long as I had what everyone had: a family. But my son had a father, even if said father was in fact his uncle. He had a real father too, but they had taken his father from him, just as they had stolen his dreams. My chest caved, and my heart shattered into such tiny pieces that I doubted they could pump blood to my brain. It was clear that Yoongi was neglecting my son by letting him wander around the streets with his girlfriend instead of having him by his side. But Ethan's words were additional confirmation. He had never cared for the boy, yet he had stolen him from me. My fists clenched involuntarily. My jaw was so tight I feared breaking my molars. "Sometimes it was to become a doctor. Sometimes a pilot. I can't remember." I offered with a forced smile. "Common," I probed. "You must have a dream. Everyone has."
He mulled over my words for a few seconds, making a humming sound. "I want to make Dad proud. So I'd do anything he wants. At school they call me a genius — well, the profs do. My classmates think the term nerd is more accurate. So I can pull whatever he sees fit."
I'm proud of you, I wanted to scream. Way to twist the knife even deeper. That scumbag would never be able to realize my son's simple dream. Because to him, Ethan was a stain. A mistake he wanted to keep hidden. God, I wanted to break everything in sight. This kid didn't deserve this life. He didn't deserve to go through what I went through. He's too precious for that. Too kind. He's my son, for fuck's sake.
I draped my arm on his shoulder and hid the storm brewing in my chest. "Gotta show me proof if you want me to believe you." I bantered.
"Let's make a bet." Ethan's words halted my every movement. My eyes stopped blinking. My breath stopped, too, and I could have sworn the air stood still as well. My son didn't grow up with me, but he shared with me the one trait that both made and destroyed me. He was a gambler, and I didn't know how to feel about it. Lately, I didn't know how to feel about a lot of things. My brain was a hopeless mess, and my emotions were no better. "Fifty bucks you'll be pleased with what you'll see."
I shook my head, a sad smile stretching on my lips. "Deal." With that, he ran up the stairs to get what I thought was his report card. Small victories and all that jazz, I was going to cross one wish off my long bucket list.
He didn't even give me a minute to dwell on his selfless dream dedicated to a selfish man before he was standing in front of me holding his report card. Straight A's in every subject and an honorable mention signed by the dean of the school. And I was proud, and I wanted to tell him so, but the joy was always short-lived where I was concerned. His name — Min Ethan — was the reason my smile dropped as soon as it appeared. The name leaped off the page like a slap to the face. My chest tightened and a familiar rage rose unbidden inside me. My hands curled around the edge of the paper, shaking with the effort not to tear it in two. He wasn't Min Ethan — he was my son. Mine. But then something caught my attention, and I hated myself for what flashed through my mind. On the report card was the name of his school. I made a mental note to google it and find the address. Ethan would leave my house eventually, but I'd make sure he didn't leave my sight.
"It's time you hand that fifty over, bossman." Ethan waved his hand, and who was I to deny him? Ethan fisted the air and jumped when I put the bill into his hand, at the same time, my phone rang. It was Chul.
"Boss, you need to come to the location I sent you right now." He spoke quickly, almost urgently.
I checked our message thread as I kept the call ongoing. My brows furrowed in confusion. "What business do I have there this late, Chul?"
"It's Inaya Chen. She's been hitting it hard at some shitty bar for two hours straight. Now she's here and... Boss, she's..." he trailed.
"She's what?" I stood up and fumbled for my car keys, feeling the pulse in my veins all over my body. I noticed Ethan watching me with curious eyes as I paced around frantically.
"She's devastated." He let out the words with a sigh.
Two things occurred to me simultaneously: 1) My plan was a success. 2) My fucking plan was a success and I fucking hated it.
"Hey Ethan, do you think you can wait for me here while I run an errand? It won't take long, I promise. You can go through my games and up your level to match mine. You know, a rehearsal of sort." I winked at him as I moved around, looking for — what the fuck was I looking for again?
"As if I need it." He snorted. "I'm old enough to hold my own. Be on your way. And hey, bossman, don't be late. Let's make it pizza night."
I stopped in my tracks abruptly, turned around, and looked at him. He was smiling at me, and I briefly wondered if it was oh- so bad to tune the world out and stay here with him. He was handing me the opportunity of a lifetime. A chance to create a routine that was just ours. To him, the offer may have sounded trivial. For me, it was a leap into fatherhood. My heart was trying to burst out of my chest as I looked at the car keys in my hand and then back at Ethan. The decision was made when I saw the image he'd made about me reflected in his eyes. The boy liked the good-versed, easy-going, kind man he spent time with. I wanted it to stay that way for him. I didn't want to let him down— to fail him.
"Large pepperoni it is." I ruffled his hair and ran like a madman to my car. I doubted there'd be pizza tonight. For tonight, there'd be sorrow. Lots of it. And I caused it.
votes and comments are appreciated <3
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