Chapter Twenty-one - Olivia
Olivia
"Dillion? Dillion!" I finally pulled my hand free. "Will you stop dragging me around?"
He held out his hand to me. "Give me your car keys?"
"No. Who the hell do you think you are? Ordering me around. Pulling me here and there."
He thrust his open palm at me again. "You're in no condition to drive."
"I'm tired, not drunk."
"You're exhausted, and that's just as bad as being drunk. What if you fall asleep behind the wheel? If you don't care about yourself, at least consider you might unwillingly put someone else in danger."
A heavy sigh escaped my lips. "Fine. Here." I tossed him the keys. "But since you're driving anyway, no coffee. I need to get back to Doug."
Dillion cringed at the mention of Doug's name. I hurt him, by bringing it up. I could have said I needed to get back to campus. I could have even let Dillion drop me off at the sorority house and taken myself to Doug from there. Why didn't I? Did I do it on purpose? Do I still want to hurt him? Part of me had to admit I did, but I didn't want to examine why.
"So, you two live together now?" He walks me to my car and opens the door for me. Always the gentleman. He walks around the car and slides behind the driver seat, readjusting to it fit his larger frame.
"No, I'm... apartment sitting for Cat and Alex while they are gone."
He looks over at me with a grin not even a grin more of a smirk, but I can feel the power of it tweaking my own lips, twisting the corner up into a smile.
"Apartment sitting? Do they know you're using their apartment for sex?"
"You know, I never realized you were this much of a jerk?"
Dillion's chuckle sounds like a low rumble. "Tell me, I'm wrong, and I'll apologize."
"You're not wrong about the facts. You're wrong for bringing it up."
He shrugged. "Sue me."
I shook my head at him.
He stared straight ahead; eyes glued to the road. "So, is he as good as me in bed?"
His question caused a spontaneous laugh to erupt. I couldn't believe... of all the questions.
I gave him my own version of a smirk. "He's way better. In fact, most of the men I slept with were better. Comes with experience, I guess."
His grip tightened on the wheel. I stung his pride. "Still, I hold the title for being your first, and none of them can take that from me."
"First, second, however, many have been in between. Who will matter most is the one I choose to be my last. My one and only."
"And that's Doug?"
"Possibly? He's the first man I ever wanted to give a chance. He never disappoints. Furthermore, he loves me."
"I'm hearing a lot about him, but not about you." We pull up to a red light and his gaze was piercing. "How do you feel? You obviously have doubts."
I looked away, the light changed, and he turned back to the road. He was right, I do, but I did about every man I was ever with, thanks to him.
"I love him." The words did not hold the conviction I expected them to have.
"I see."
That was the problem with Dillion. He did see. He could always see right through me. I tried to hide my feeling for him for a long time, afraid if anything started it would hurt my friendship with Cat, but he knew and patiently waited for me to come to him. Dillion knew it had to be my decision, but he didn't make that decision easy on me either. He kept showing up in my life, doing things that showed me that he cared about me without ever saying a word.
I turned away to stare out the window. My chest ached. Why did it all have to change? Why did we both have to pay such a terrible price for wanting to love one another? We drove the rest of the way to Cat's apartment in silence, except for me giving him directions from time to time.
Dillion parked the car and got out, jogging around the other side to open it before I could do so for myself. He handed me back my keys.
"I'll wait until you get in."
"That isn't necessary. You're far from home. How are you getting back?"
"I should make it to catch the last train. If not, I'll sleep at the station and catch the earliest one in the morning."
His answer surprised me. "You'll sleep in the subway?"
His expression was nonchalant. "Wouldn't be the first time."
He mentioned being homeless before, but now the reality of what he must have gone through hit me like a gut punch. "Dillion, I..."
"Don't pity me, Kitten. I can take just about everything but that look in your eyes right now. So, please. Don't do it."
I slowly shook my head in agreement. His request was hard, though. The more I thought of the pain we went through... mine was self-inflicted. His... he didn't deserve what happened to him. Even if what he said to me tore my heart to shreds. He only said it to protect me. His thinking was flawed, but considering what he was facing, I'm not surprised.
"Dillion, I..."
He grabbed me by my shoulders, his fingers dug in painfully. "I mean it. Please?"
He was begging me, and there was fear in his words. I could hear it, even though I didn't understand it.
"O?"
I looked up at the entrance to the apartment building where Doug stood. Dillion's hands fell to his sides before he shoved them into his pockets.
"Dillion?" Doug recognized him right away.
"Doug."
The silence that followed was deafening.
"What are you doing up?" It was a stupid question to ask Doug, but it was the only thought that sprung to mind.
"I woke up and realized you weren't there. I got your note and figured you'd be coming home about now. I was worried about where you might have parked this late at night."
"Dillion brought me home. I was too tired to drive."
"I'll be off," Dillion said to me and then turned to Doug. "Take good care of her, will you?"
He then turned on his heel and walked away. I didn't want to let him go like this, but what choice did I have?
Doug came down the front steps to stand before me. He smiled and took my hand. "Come on, let's go in."
"Yeah. Okay." I take his hand and let him lead me back inside.
Once in the apartment, he went to the kitchen to make me some tea. I was going to protest I didn't want the caffeine but realized it was decaf, of course, since Cat is pregnant.
Doug stayed in the kitchen and waited for the water to boil. I honestly believe he was taking this time to collect his thoughts. He probably feared if he spoke to me too soon, he might say something he'd regret.
With two steaming cups in hand, he came to sit next to me on the sofa. He handed one over to me and I thanked him.
"How did you come to meet up with Dillion?"
So, he chose a direct approach. My answer, however, was going to be a lie.
"He happened to be at an AA meeting to support a friend."
"That's a coincidence."
"Yes. It was." I know it would sound like I'm lying no matter what I said. So, I opted for a half-truth that didn't call Dillion out as an alcoholic. I didn't think it was my place to say.
"If you were tired. You could have called me. I would have come to get you."
"I had the car with me. They were locking up. If you had taken the bus, I would have had to wait outside a deserted building for an hour, before coming home. When I'd seen Dillion, I asked if he would mind taking me home."
Doug's jaw clenched. "Of course, it was the smarter way to go."
He took the cup from my hand and placed it next to his own on the table. His hand cupped my cheek and I leaned into its warmth. "Do you trust me to take care of you, O?"
I nuzzled his palm. "Yes."
His hand slipped to the back of my neck, and he pulled me forward into a kiss. I closed my eyes and let his kisses heal my aching heart. I prayed Doug could wash that pain away. He would try, and I loved him for it.
Still, in the recesses of my mind was a picture of Dillion walking away, broken and alone. I felt a tear drift down my cheek. I prayed he got that last train. That he wasn't left to sleep in the subway. That he wouldn't have to relive that pain.
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