When I started writing this chapter, I've been a Christian for 5 years 11 months. I recently volunteered to say my testimony to my church, and truth be told, it was difficult remembering what it was like. I'm glad that I published "The Other Side - A life prior to Christ", because reading through it reminded me of the genuine pain that I felt when I had to flip my whole perspective of the world upside-down in becoming an atheist.

So, here I am, reflecting on what and how I felt as an atheist, when I also stumbled upon a few anti-theist Instagram posts. One had the caption:

The fact that they [Christians] think they'll be sitting around in bliss, at the same time as everyone else burns and suffers,

and they're okay with this,

tells you all you need to know about even the most tolerant ones.

Now, my gut reaction would be to say "that's a bad take and not accurate of the Christian perspective", but that's not a helpful response at all. Rather, right now, it's important to recognize the hurt that the poster feels, and that the people who relate to this feel.

This is a manifestation of legitimate religious trauma. This is what I experienced back in 2015, and this is what many people have to go through today. As a faith community, we still perpetuate the notion that we hold ourselves higher or more deserving than the rest, and that's not good.

Maybe you know that you have directly contributed to this. If that's the case, then I'm glad that you're aware of it - and I know that all of us, me very much included, have done this to various degrees. And even if we aren't personally or directly responsible for perpetuating the holier-than-thou attitude, we can't disassociate from it. All of us have to bear responsibility for it.

There's precedent enough in the Bible. Tim and John from the Bible Project have mentioned how the Israelites (and perhaps ancient people in general) held a higher regard to communal responsibility. In Daniel 9:4-19, we see the prophet taking on the responsibility of the sins of Israel, in particular when saying:

Because of our sins and the iniquities of our fathers, Jerusalem and Your people have become an object of scorn to all those around us... We do not present our supplications before You because of our own righteousness, but because of Your great compassions.

Isaiah does similarly in Isaiah 6:5, when he says:

Oy to me! For I am ruined!
For I am a man of unclean lips,
and I am dwelling among a people of unclean lips.

I don't think that we should bear some form of personalized-guilt (unless we have contributed to Christian-elitism). But rather, the realistic and healthy way to respond is to acknowledge that as a collective, we mess up. We perpetuate pride, just like everyone else. And once we've taken ownership, we can start replacing that prideful sentiment with expressing the humble, selfless love of God. I don't how that will look for you, and I also have to do some meditating on how it will look for me.

There's a verse that I have as an afternoon alarm, that I find to be very appropriate for this (it might even get its own chapter!). I think it captures the genuine heart of a Christian:

 It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.

Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.

Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

If you are not a Christian, and especially if you or someone you know has been hurt by us, let me know. I want to let you know that I understand your hurt, and that it's valid.

I also want to let you know that genuine Christianity is so against this sense of pride or superiority for its followers; and that the God of the Bible is beautiful, and loving, and yearning for you. The Bible is complex and nuanced, and I don't want your hurt to cause you to have a twisted and inaccurate view of Christianity, as my hurt twisted mine.

So, if you want to start dialoguing, I'd like to be a part of it :^)