chapter nineteen | documenting a blissful night with him
happy march everyone!! i hope you've all been well. welcome to my most favorite chapter i've written in a really long time. kindly point out any typos/mistakes, and enjoy ;)
***IMPORTANT*** if my plan goes as is, next chapter is going to be especially triggering for me, as it's going to be about sylvia's funeral. it's going to be a really difficult chapter for me to write. i'm kinda already tearing up just thinking about it lol. hope you can be patient with me. thank you so much x
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"So this is love. So this is what makes life divine."
— Cinderella
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Night had fallen. Chris didn't win the contest earlier today, but I felt like a total winner waiting to jump into his arms after he got off the stage. I did grill him a little bit about disappearing on me, though. In the end, there was no way I could stay mad at him, so the rest of our time at the festival was as enjoyable as it could be.
Fraser was so pleased with Chris for going to join his friend's contest that he gifted him a free drawing of a stunning underwater coral scene. I ended up going back for that beautiful quilt as a souvenir for Papa (and me, since I planned to use it on the living room couch). I also purchased a unique set of playing cards that I thought I could play with the gang, as well as some hand-crafted jewelry for Jessica and London. Chris bought a few things for his family, and with the leftover money we had from Reece, we used mainly for food. We were definitely not ashamed of it. We had the most amazing wrapped crepes, deliciously seasoned potato rings on a stick, refreshing watermelon juice, and a couple macarons each. By the end of the day, the evening walk was needed to work off all this food, but all the food in our stomachs did make it a bit difficult.
"Hey, do you hear that?
Chris squeezed my hand and pulled me to a stop. He was looking at the brick wall lining the path next to us. I strained my ears, trying to hear what he was referring to over the sound of cars, people passing by, and the music in the distance. He released my hand and stepped up to the wall. He gripped the top edge and jumped, using his arms to hoist himself high enough that he could see the other side. I blanched.
"Chris!' I hissed, slapping the side of his legs. "Get down! You look like you're breaking in."
"Don't worry," he said as he landed back on his feet and brushed the dirt off his hands. "This is our hotel, see?"
I craned my neck upwards. From the back, there was nothing recognizable. It was just an ordinary rectangle shaped building with windows dotted symmetrically up to the top. I indicated that to Chris with a shrug of my hands and shoulders. "Can't tell. But what'd you see?" I asked.
Even in the dim lighting of the streetlamp under this dark sky, I could make out the way Chris's face brightened as he said, "A pool!"
"A pool?" I echoed flatly.
He shook his head at me before taking my hand once again. I silently planned to blame the red traffic lights for my reddened cheeks.
Chris led us around to the front of the building. Here I could recognize our hotel with its dark burgundy awning and bright lighting shining through the all-glass entrance. The lobby was practically empty besides the young man at the front desk. He didn't spare us a glance as Chris pulled me down an unfamiliar hallway towards the back.
"Are we really going to the pool?" I asked Chris wearily. My suspicions were confirmed as he opened an exit door and the scent of chlorine hit my nose before the sight of the pool caught my eyes.
The pool area was poorly lit besides the lights within the water itself. I watched as Chris let go of my hand and approached it, almost as if he was entranced by the way the water sparkled in the moonlight and splashed gently against the edges of the pool. My eyebrows raised even further as Chris proceeded to kick off his shoes.
"What are you doing?"
"Gonna soak my feet! C'mon, we're guests here. It's allowed. Plus, aren't you exhausted from walking all day?" he asked.
Only after pointing out did I realize just how beat I was, too.
The high of being with Chris today had only masked my own exhaustion, but now my throbbing feet and weak legs felt enticed by the calming waters.
Chris was one step ahead, already dipping his feet in with a moan of relief. "Oh, yeah. That's good. Your loss if you don't join me, Darce."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Don't look." I flushed and muttered, "I gotta take my tights off."
I was grateful he had no comment. I slipped off my tights and laid them on a nearby pool chair. Bunching up my sweater dress a bit, I sat down next to Chris and slipped my legs into the pool. The cooling effects of the water was immediate, and I couldn't help releasing a little sigh of my own.
Chris nudged me with his elbow. "Nice, huh? C'mon, say it. It was a good idea."
I relented with an eyeroll. "Yes, it was."
"I've grown to fucking love the water. And hey, I guess that's another hobby I've not told you about."
"Swimming?"
"Surfing, specifically. Of course, only while we're in California visiting my grandparents. I'm still pretty shit at it, but I like to go with my cousin when I can to practice."
"I'd like to see that," I said, smiling as I envisioned myself on a warm California beach, watching Chris paddle out into the ocean. It was crazy to think that, at some points, we were both in California during the five years I was away. Same time zone, same state. Just a couple hundred miles away. And now here we were, just a couple inches away, knees and shoulders nearly touching.
"Maybe when I go back, you can come with us," Chris said. "Reece and Jessica, too, this time. Maybe even your dad would wanna come? We could make it a whole fun thing."
I grinned even wider at the thought and turned to him. "Wanna go on another trip with little ol' me?" I teased, resurfacing my terrible accent. He met my gaze, the expression on his face signaling something like what kind of question is that?
"I'd go anywhere with you."
His gaze felt piercing, and I held it for a beat before I felt like I couldn't take it. My body warmed despite the cool water lapping at my legs. "Well, thank you for coming on this one," I murmured quietly, turning back to stare at the water. And then, even quieter, "Why did you?"
"C'mon, Darce. You know why. You know I'd..." He stopped, hesitating. A moment of silence passed before he finally said, "I'd do anything. For you."
I bit my lip. Gripped the edge of the pool. Clenched my toes under the water.
The physical, emotional, and mental pull I felt towards him was too damn much sometimes, especially when he said things like this. I had to take a deep breath before I could get my next words out.
"Same here."
The utter lameness of my words slugged me so hard in the chest that I physically coughed to alleviate the pressure. Stupid! That's all you got?
"I-I mean –" I whirled to face him "– well, that is what I mean. B-but like..." I could've said it better than that!
My words halted at his soft, half-smile. There was fondness in his eyes that I couldn't deny. And God, do I see that look more and more often.
I opened my mouth, and different words tumbled out of them this time. "I want to be there for you, too. No matter what you need. No matter what you're going through. I'm there, Chris."
While those choice of words better expressed how I felt, it didn't make them any less embarrassing to say. I dipped my fingers into the pool and brought them to my cheeks with a light slap.
Chris laughed aloud, the sweet sound of it ringing into the night. It was better than any melody that'd come from the concert stage today.
He leaned and nudged me with his shoulder. "I know you do, Darce. We're in this together."
Together, huh?
I twirled my braid around my fingers, quickly sorting through the pros and cons about what I wanted to say. Would he get mad? Will he even tell me?
"Then..." I started, deciding to go for it. "Will you tell me why you've been so angry at your phone today?"
The carefree expression on his face froze over. The smile was there, but the flame blew out. I stammered to say, "I'm not going to force you to tell me. It's just that every time you looked at your phone today, you've gotten really upset. And you've avoided it all together."
He looked ahead, a grim frown tugging down at the corner of his lips. The silence that stretched between us went on for so long that I was terrified he was angry with me.
Just as I opened my mouth to speak, he did first.
"Bridgit's twin brother." He spat the words like they were venom on his tongue. "He never liked me. We knew each other when we were in middle school and I actually... punched his friend."
My jaw dropped. "You? You punched someone?"
"Bryson had just come out, and him and his friends were real homophobic fucks to him. So I threw one right at his cheek at lunch one day." He chuckled a little. "Mom and dad might have been really pissed about it, but Reece was actually really proud of me.
I let out a breath of a laugh. "Not surprised. He's a fighter himself, but in a protector sort of way."
Chris nodded. "He taught me that loyalty is the most important thing. And by choosing loyalty that day, I got an annoying enemy."
"He's the one bothering you?"
The firm set of his jaw was enough to confirm it. "He was so pissed when Bridgit and I started dating. The day he found out, he broke two of his mom's mason jars in the kitchen. He couldn't stand it. We tried avoiding going to her place when he was home or else he'd pick a fight and cause all this unnecessary drama. So you can imagine just how excited he was when we finally broke up. He'd hassle me in class, saying shit like I wasn't good enough for Bridgit or that he knew we weren't going to last. And even now he's still so damn annoying."
The last word came out like a growl and was paired with a kick to the water. I used an arm to shield the water that splashed back at us. Still, some seeped into my sweater dress, highlighting just how cold it was getting the longer we sat out here.
"We're in the same English class and we've been working on a new group project that we need to present at the end of the year," Chris continued. "He's in my group, so I can't block his number because we're supposed to talk and work on our weekly assignments. But once in a while, he likes to send these 'updates' on Bridgit and her boyfriend – just out of nowhere! Even sends pictures of them sitting on the couch or something downstairs like a peeping freak."
I scrunched my nose. "Gross!"
"Exactly," Chris scoffed. "He's been doing this on and off during these past few months since Bridgit and I broke up. And he just so happens to be doing it now, this weekend. And I can't block his number this time because I'm texting my other group mates about the module we're doing."
"Chris, you can't stand for this childish harassment. You should ask your teacher to switch groups or something."
He shook his head. "No, we're too far at this point. We've picked our topic and done some research already. And I don't want to give him the satisfaction of me showing that he's bothering me."
"There shouldn't be any shame in it," I answered back. "You shouldn't have to take this. There has to be something we can do. Why didn't you tell me he's been doing this?"
A couple months? I had no idea that this was going on. Of course, I don't need a play by play or a transcript of his every move and conversation, but this was a serious thing that I felt, as a best friend, that I should have known about. The sting I felt at not knowing about Chris's drawing hobby prickled alive again. Were there a lot of things that I didn't know about Chris? Has he always been this secretive? Did the others know about this and not me? A sense of hurt began to fester.
"We're in this together, right? That's what you always say to me? So why didn't you tell me?" I pressed on.
Chris gave me a firm look. "You're right, Darce. We are supposed to be in this together. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
My eyes searched his face, illuminated by the light of the pool. What I saw was complete sincerity, and I slumped a bit in acceptance. "Okay. So why didn't you?" I asked again, quietly.
"I–" He paused and drew his gaze up to the sky. "I don't know. At first, I just didn't want to make a big deal about it. I was enjoying having you back in my life again, introducing you to everyone, hanging out with you everyday. It was like he was trying to use Bridgit as some sort of payback, but it wasn't working because... I had you. I didn't care anymore."
I didn't know what to say. Suddenly, there was a whirlpool of emotions within me and I didn't know what they all meant. So I let my silence signal for him to continue.
"But I also think there's more to it than that," he said. "Sometimes, I feel like I've been so sheltered. I had an awesome childhood. I had parents who loved and accepted me while so many people around me have gone through shit that they never should have. Watching Reece go through shit when I was younger, then meeting Jessica and hearing the stories of you and the other girls at the orphanage – it just made my problems look so trivial. My problems are not as big compared to the people around me, who I care about. Like when Sylvia died. What's so important about my petty drama when I saw how much you were hurting? I just wanted to make you feel better in any way I could."
"Oh, Chris..." I breathed. All this time, ever since he was young, this boy was minimizing his problems so that he could focus on uplifting those around him who had it harder. Even if he was going through something hard himself, he labeled his problems insignificant to those around him. And that...
"That's not fair."
Chris's eyes widened, alarmed at my tone. I clenched the edge of the pool and repeated the words again. "That's. Not. Fair. You hear me, Christopher Radley?" I rasped. "Just because those around you had it worse doesn't mean you have to hide your totally valid feelings and experiences. Do you realize how much you've impacted my life? When we were kids, you were my first friend outside of the orphanage. And when I came back to New York, afraid to do really anything, you were there for me again. We're in this together. Together. You've done so much for me, Chris. Please, let me be there for you too. No matter what, no matter the hour, I'll be there. So I don't care if it's your train breaking down, a crappy grade on a test, or a bunch of bullies that we need to handle. You uplift me every day. Let me – let all of us – uplift you, too."
How lonely Chris must have felt in the secrets he kept just to take the spotlight off of him and give it to others who he deemed needed it most. It was pure, well-intentioned, but utterly unfair. He has extended his love to so many people, and there are people who return his love just as fiercely. And I know – I know – that there are people who wouldn't hesitate to come to Chris's side if he called. Me absolutely included.
A tear had formed as a side effect of my passion and emotions. I turned my head away to wipe it, and Chris let out a breathy laugh. My heart grew tenfold as he placed a hand on my head and gave it a gentle ruffle.
"Okay, Darce" he whispered. "Thank you."
"Okay," I mumbled and trained my focus on swishing my legs in the water.
We stayed like that for a moment, the both of us concentrated on the movement of our legs in the water. Thinking I might as well ride this wave of honesty we had going on, I said, "I didn't know you were so into art."
"Yeah," Chris said, running a wet hand and through his hair. "I'm sorry about that, too. That was a stupid thing not to share with you. I'm on and off, always trying it out. I've always taken art as my elective when I could, but not this year. I'm still trying to find the style I like. I can tell you it's not realistic or anime style. Leaning towards more cartoon-esque, actually. Though, it's really nothing serious. I don't do cool stuff like Fraser had."
"Still, I wanna see all the stuff you've done when we get home," I grumbled, crossing my arms. I gave him a side look. "Do you think you could draw me as a cute little character?"
Chris chuckled. "Shouldn't be hard," he said, reaching to brush a loose strand of hair. "You're already cute."
Goosebumps rose on my skin as his fingers flitted across the line of my jaw. I really didn't know how much of this I could take. My heart might've exploded on the spot if he didn't proceed to tug the hairband from my braid. I came at him with a fierce vengeance, slapping him so hard on the arm that he yelped.
"Way to ruin it!" I couldn't help but say.
Chris perked a brow, teasing. "Ruin what?"
"Nothing!" I cried, splashing him with a handful of water without thinking.
After being enveloped by such tension for the last while, it was true music to my ears to hear Chris's laughter ring out as he retaliated with his own splash. The water seeped into my dress, making me shiver a bit. I was about to ask if we should head back inside when Chris straightened and said, "I have a game to play."
"A game?"
Chris shot me a cheeky smile before he hoisted himself up out of the pool and padded over to a podium that had three folded towels on top. He took two from the stack and walked around to the other side of the pool until he was directly ahead of me. He placed the towels on the folding chair. Then he gripped the edge of his T-shirt and pulled it off his back in one swift move.
My cheeks blazed and I nearly got whiplash from how far I turned my neck to look away. A squeak escaped me. "Chris! What are you doing?"
"Relax, Darce. I'll keep my pants on."
"Oh. Great." He may only be half naked, but I was fully flustered.
"Okay," called Chris, still across the pool. "Odds on."
"Odds what?" I asked, still shielding my eyes as if the sun were shining in my eyes.
"Odds on that I'll jump into this pool right now. Out of 10."
This time, I dropped my hand to give him a weary look. But my eyes, everso traitorous, couldn't help but take in the sight of him, tall, lean, and – yes – half naked with just his joggers on. Again, joggers on, and he's practically asking me to dare him to jump in this pool. "Chris, are you joking? You can't jump into the pool like that."
He folded his arms across his chest and grinned. "Well if you want the alternative, which is for me to skinny dip –"
"No!" I cried, averting my eyes with my hand again.
He laughed. "All right, so joggers on then. Odds on I'll jump into this pool out of ten. We both say a number, and if we say the same number, then I'm cannonballing in."
"Chris, you can't jump into the pool now. It's getting cold by the minute!
"Well, we better hurry up then. Ready? After the count of 1, say a number." Chris stepped back a few paces. "5... 4 ..."
"Wait, wait!" I tried to say, but he kept going.
"2... 1..."
"8!"
As the number came from both our mouths, I used my arms to cover my head and squealed as Chris made a running start and leaped into the pool. The splash was so intense that I felt water land on my arms and hair. Rippling waves from his landing lapped at my knees. Two second later, Chris had broken the surface, coming up with a "Woo! Fuck, it's cold!"
I shook my head, but smiled despite myself. "Like you expected anything different."
Chris only replied with a shrug before submerging once more. He swam quickly under the water towards my direction. When he reached me, he gently grazed my calves as he came back up, holding onto my knees for support as he did. Goosebumps rose on the skin exposed to the air, but I don't know if it was his touch or the cold air frosting the water on my legs.
He grinned up at me. His eyes shone beautifully in the light of the pool. "Hi there."
I breathed a laugh. "Hiya. Come here often?
A tendril of wet hair hung low on his forehead, curling almost into his eye. I reached and smoothed it back with the rest of his wet locks. Chris caught my hand on the way down, holding it gently to his cheek for a moment before lowering it. He didn't let go, though. Instead, his grin turned wicked, and his hand tightened around mine.
"Absolutely not," I said firmly, already sensing what he was thinking.
"Please! Odds on that I pull you in."
I stared at him, incredulous. "And why the hell would I want to do that?"
"Because you love me and I'm your best friend."
My heart stuttered. Not that word.
All day I've tried to drown out any thoughts that held even the essence of "love." I didn't want my confused and conflicting feelings to get in the way of our day. But now, after he's said it out loud like that, I can't help but notice how wrong and contradictory it sounded to me.
The air had shifted in the wake of Chris's words. He dropped my hand. Something flickered in his expression before dying out. He approached the edge of the pool, ready to hoist himself up when I said, "Out of 15."
God, anything to break this awkwardness.
I was grateful when Chris eagerly agreed, his usual lightheartedness returning to his features. He swam back to me and I let him take my hands again.
"Okay." His gaze locked on mine as he began to count down. "3... 2... 1–"
The number 14 left my lips as 11 left Chris's.
"Damn!" He laughed. "Fine. You're safe."
And since I had a hard time not giving him his way today, I said, "Okay. I'll do it one more time. As a best friend's privilege." I ignored the chord in my chest as I said that and began to countdown. "3... 2... 1–"
"12!"
I barely had time to gasp in a breath before I was jerked forward. The cold temperature of the water sent an instant shock through my body.
Arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me up until I'd broken the surface of the water with a gasp. I swept away the loose strands of my hair that plastered across my closed eyelids. When I opened them, I was met with an up-close look at Chris's eyes. His face was just a few inches from mine and, all at once, I realized the position we were in. Chris had an arm around my waist with the other across my shoulder, gripping the edge of the pool to hold us both afloat while I gripped his shoulders. At least I had the good sense not to wrap my legs around his waist in my disorientation.
I was so focused on how frantic my heartbeat was that I barely caught Chris's words. "– panicked because I didn't know if you could swim or not, and the water was a lot deeper over on this side."
"No, I-I can," I stammered. "I just – Ow!"
"Darce!"
I clutched the spot on the back of my head where I had just so smoothly slammed against the rim of the pool in my utter discomposure. His lips were too close – he was too close – and it was really the last thing my heart could handle today.
"Oops! No, I'm okay! I got it. I can swim."
To prove my ability, I gently pushed Chris away and swam towards the right side of the pool where I lowered myself down on the steps. Despite the unpleasant feeling of my clothes weighing against my skin, I didn't want to get out. Not yet. I wanted to stay here, with him, in our bubble for just a little while longer. I prayed another guest wouldn't come out hoping to have an evening swim only to find me fully clothed and Chris half naked in the pool. That wouldn't be a fun conversation to have.
"I didn't think you'd get in," Chris commented as he sat down on the step beside me.
"You have a way of convincing me to do things." More than one way, really. I just couldn't resist him tonight.
The chill temperature of the water and the sensation of being fully dressed in a pool started to bother me less and less as Chris divulged me with stories of his time at his grandparents place in California. He told me stories about surfing with his cousin, taking Camryn to the boardwalk with his grandma, and nights Reece convinced Mark and Rebecca to let them go out on "night adventures" when the adult talk got too boring for the two of them. My chest felt tight with emotion as I listened intently, watching the spectrum of emotions cross his face with one story to another. With nobody around to see, I felt fully free and unabashed to take in all of him. The color of his hair, the curve of his smile, shape of his nose, the blue of his eyes. Just being with him sent a soothing warmth through my veins. His presence in my life felt like pure light. Like sunlight. Like...
Sunshine.
An involuntary smile followed that thought, and I had to turn away. I pressed a hand to my lips, discreetly trying to smother it so that Chris wouldn't see.
Jessica was Reece's sunshine. He's been calling her that since they were practically my and Chris's age. Was this how he feels with Jessica? Like everything and anything in the world didn't matter when he was with her because she has the power to melt away all your worries and struggles? Like he can't look away because everything about her is so captivating and wonderful? And did he also feel like he would do absolutely anything to protect such a treasure, such a blessing?
God. Was this how Reece felt when he fell in love with her?
My body started to tingle. It was too much. Too many emotions. Too many revelations. Everything that happened today has guaranteed that I was far beyond the point of no return in my feelings, but I had to at least reel back in some of my self-control.
"Darce?" said Chris. "What's wrong?"
I brought a hand full of water to my cheeks. Get a grip!
"Nothing," I said, turning back to him with what was hopefully a nonchalant smile. "I was just thinking how it's getting late and we haven't checked our phones. Reece and Jessica may have tried to call us. They should be getting back soon."
"Oh." He blinked a few times. "Yeah, you're right. We should shower up. The main concert for the festival probably started, too."
Everything, including the distant music, had been tuned out during our conversation. Now that I was focusing in, I could hear some heavy guitar playing paired with a woman's voice belting out a song I've never heard before.
I let out a sigh. It was one of both relief and disappointment to be putting some space between me and Chris. I guess I'll be contradictory to the very end, huh?
As I went to stand, Chris pressed a hand to my thigh, stopping me from standing.
"Wait," he said quickly. "I... I have one more Odds On."
"O-okay, what is it?" I asked, ignoring the way my voice stupidly pitched at his touch.
His hand remained where it was as he said, "1 through 5."
My eyes widened. "1 through 5?" I repeated in a squeak.
He shook his head. "No, nevermind. 1 through 3."
"1 through 3? For what?" I exclaimed.
His eyes darted away for a second before returning to lock onto mine. The playfulness from moments ago was gone, replaced with something more serious. "I'm not gonna say."
"You're... not gonna say?" I echoed again. With his hand on my thigh and that look in his eyes, it was suddenly hard to breathe. "Well, is it a good thing or a bad thing?"
He hesitated. "Good. I think."
"But –"
"Please, Darce." I tensed as he tightened the hand on my thigh before pulling away. Beneath the water, they balled into fists. "I really want to do this."
And because I had a damn hard time resisting him today, I gave in once more.
"Okay," I breathed.
"Okay," he said. "This time, on 'go.'"
I nodded, every muscle in me tensing, bracing myself for could happen.
"Ready... Set..."
"2."
The second the number left both our lips, Chris's hands emerged from the water, cupped my cheeks, and leaned in.
His kiss was soft, but electrifying all the same. Water dripped from his hands and onto my burning cheeks and neck, yet I felt engulfed by warmth and sudden desire. But, most of all, I felt paralyzed by shock. So much so that when Chris pulled away, he looked stricken with worry.
"I-I'm sorry, Darce. I don't know–"
I shook my head, cutting him off despite how dazed I felt. I brought my fingers to my lips, as if trying to feel the physical sensations of the way they were tingling from his kiss.
His kiss. He kissed me.
My head was a mayhem of thoughts. Everything I felt and everything I thought I knew about our relationship was suddenly contradicted or utterly destroyed. I couldn't even pick a single thought to process fully until Chris's regretful face picked one for me.
As he opened his mouth to speak again, I reached out to place my hands on the curve of his neck and guide his lips back to mine. He melted instantly, and I felt myself doing the same. His hands traced along the curve of my waist and towards the small of my back. He tightened his hold and pulled me from the pool's steps, carrying both of us further out into the water. My legs, acting of their own accord, wrapped around his waist as he pressed me against the pool's wall. I reached up and ran a hand through his hair like I've dreamed of doing a thousand times. I've dreamed of lots of things when it came to Chris, but I never gave myself the permission to believe that any of it would come true. But now, I was here – actually here and in the best way possible.
Our breaths were heavy when we pulled away. He leaned his forehead against mine and began to laugh.
"God, Darce. I've wanted to do that for so long. So fucking long." His stormy blue eyes were alight with happiness and disbelief. I'm sure my face read the same thing.
"Would you believe that you've been driving me crazy all day?" I asked.
He raised a brow, a playful challenge. "Just today?"
"It may have been many, many days now," I admitted, dropping my hand down to his cheek to turn his face away.
With a chuckle, Chris took my hand and pressed a kiss to the center of palm. Our fingers interlaced as he leaned in close and said, "I guess we've got some explaining to do, best friend."
He was right. I'm sure the both of us will want to know when our roles as best friends started to blur and change, but that could wait. I didn't mind waiting a little bit longer in this blissful bubble of ours. A shriek of laughter left my lips as Chris pulled me away from the wall and twirled me around. He kissed me again, and this time, I poured every fiber of my feelings into it.
We were kissing under stars and night skies, yet I felt utterly consumed by light.
By the light of my happiness.
By the light of his existence.
And by the light of a brand new beginning shining on the horizon.
AHHHHHH AHAHHAHAHA IT HAPPENED Y'ALL IT HAPPENED. this chapter was so so much fun to write and i can't wait to hear what you guys think. i was writing at every possible chance where i wasn't physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted so thank you guys for the patience as always. a really cool moment happened where i was listening to my instrumental playlist and this song from the tangled movie came on called "waiting for the lights." right when their lips touched, 2:08 played and it is EXACTLY how i imagined darcy felt when chris kissed her. i highlyyy recommend going back and reading the chapter with this song playing in the background
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i'm writing this hours before i have to wake up and get ready for my mini (safe) spring break vacation. my asian parents miraculously let my 22 year old ass go with my boyfriend up state where he's gone to school the last 3+ years. since we're having a virtual graduation this year, i wanted to go see the town and his school before my occupational therapy program starts 2 days after i graduate LMAO. don't worry -- both me and my bf are fully vaccinated, driving up, staying at his apartment, BELIEVE IN MASKS, and really he's just taking me to sightsee lol.
i'm so happy to have gotten this chapter out to you guys before i go and i hope you like it <3 for my a thousand words fans - do look out for a potential a thousand words read along this week ;) i'll update you guys over on my IG. also we need to decide on chris + darcy's ship name so i'ma host a poll over there.
as always, i hope you can be patient with me as my tired ass continues to finish off the school year and get ready for graduate school.
chapter question: as we get closer and closer to hopefully getting back to our old normal, what's something you guys are looking forward to post-pandemic? hold on to those happy wishes because there will be a time where they can happen. HAPPY DAYS AHEAD!
REMINDER: next chapter is going to be triggering for me to write. please be patient with me. thank you thank you xx
let me know what you guys thought of the chapter and follow me on instagram to keep up to date with the next chapter's progress (and to see pics and vids from my upcoming trip haha). love you guys <3
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