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now, enjoy the chapter xx

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"Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart." - A.A. Milne

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The minute Jessica gathered me in her arms, it took a few moments of clinging and a bit of hysterical crying before we were able to say another word. My whole world was spinning.

Jessica. She's here. She's really here.

This wasn't the way I expected to wake up and start my day. This wasn't the way I expected my life to be when I came back to New York. I didn't know what was going to happen when Papa and I decided to leave our life in California and come back to the city, but it seems that life was giving me the second chances I've been wishing for.

When Jessica pulled back, she placed her hands on my cheeks, fondly saying, "Just look at you! Now I understand why people always comment on how much someone has grown since they've last seen them. You're so beautiful, Darcy."

"Well, I could say the same for you," I said, truly meaning it. Jessica still looked as beautiful as ever. I, on the other hand, didn't feel so pretty with my nose and eyes running. Normally, I hated to cry in front of people. But just the sight of Jessica, Jessica after so long, made me burst in an instant.

"Did you just wake up?" she asked.

Automatically, I raised my hands to pat down my mane of bed hair. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I wasn't expecting anyone, especially not you."

Jessica laughed and gave me a wink. "Then we did a good job. Chris called me the other day and told me how you were back in New York. At first, I was so confused, and then he explained that you really had moved back and that you were going to the same high school. I just had to surprise you!"

"Was Papa in on this scheme, too?" I asked her, thinking about the huddle he and Chris had last night at the café.

She shrugged to that. "I guess Chris tipped him in on the plan. We did pretty good, though, huh?"

I stepped in to give her another hug, feeling another wave of emotion wash over me. "Yeah, you really did," I murmured. "I'm really glad to see you again."

"And I'm so happy to see you, too," Jessica replied, smoothing back my hair. "This is long overdue. We have so much to catch up on. Now" – she pulled away with a wide grin – "go get ready. We're having a girl's day."

I let her inside and left her with a cup of water before going to the bathroom to change and get ready. My whole body was tingling with excitement. When I stepped in front of the mirror, I was faced with my reflection wearing a smile as wide as the cheshire cat. The overwhelming emotions bubbled out of me all at once, and I knelt down to release a silent squeal into my knees. Doing so brought my excitement from overwhelming to buzzing, allowing me to continue getting ready without feeling like I was going to burst with happiness.

While brushing my teeth, I stepped into my room to check my phone, only to find a text from Chris that said nothing more than a winky face.

"I'm going to slap and hug you," I replied back, to which he replied a few minutes later with another winky face and, "Catch up with you two later. Have fun!"

His text left another goofy grin on my face as I went on a hunt for any hair ties laying around. I growled to myself. Damn! I really need to start putting them in a fixed spot so I don't have to go on a treasure hunt for brown hair ties every time I need to do my hair. As I continued my search, I called out to Jessica in the living room. "Hey, Jess? I was wondering if you wanted to swing by the Brewing Café later to see Papa?"

"The Brewing Café?" asked Jessica, popping in. "The Brewing Café, where you got adopted and everything?"

"That's the one." I smiled. "Mr. Oxford gave us the café when we moved back from California. That old beauty is ours now."

"No way!" Jessica exclaimed, clasping her hands. "How crazy is it that it's yours now, knowing it holds so many special memories?"

There's not a single time where I forget to recognize and appreciate all that that café has given me. It's housed more special memories than I could probably remember, but I know there's been a lot. It's like visiting an old castle or battlefield; you feel the essence of what used to be and what's been done.

I finally was able to find a lone hair tie laying camouflaged on top of a black spiral notebook. When I started to pull my hair back into its usual braid, Jessica stepped in and offered to braid it for me. I released my hold and let her take over. She giggled a bit as she worked and said, "Even as a teenager you like to keep it long. I remember, when you were little, it used to touch the floor when you sat down."

"At this point, it's just my default to keep it long. I've always liked it this way, but the length it's at right now is ridiculous."

"Maybe you can cut it for the new year?" she suggested. "I can recommend a hair stylist, too, if you'd like. This could be part of your whole 'new year, new me.'"

"Yeah, maybe," I mused, genuinely putting some thought into it. I've kept my hair long for as long as I could remember. Even when it's styled into a braid, my hair could nearly reach my belly button. With all the change in my life right now, why not get my hair cut, just for the hell of it? Maybe that change in my life would be good for me, too.

Jessica finished off her work, brought the braid over my shoulder, and smiled at me through the mirror. "What do you think?"

My mouth drifted open in awe. I've always done my braids into a neat french braid because it's the only one I was capable of doing, but Jessica had pulled at the strands so that it looked fuller and slightly messy. I was living my Elsa hair fantasy. "This looks amazing! I can't do anything other than a normal french braid, no matter how many times I practice."

Grinning, she stepped to the side to admire her look from a different angle. "It looks perfect. This is a popular hairstyle with some of the models I work with during shoots," she informed me.

"Shoots?"

"You didn't think I stopped being a photographer, did you?" Jessica asked teasingly, looping her arm with mine as we made our way out of my apartment. She still walked with a certain skip in her step, as if she were really walking on sunshine. Her bright smile expressed the full rapture she had for her job as she explained, "You're looking at a professional photographer at Studio Days, who often does shoots for Bride's Mind Magazine and other bridal magazines."

Jessica and I settled on eating lunch at a local Italian place. On our cab ride there, Jessica handed me her phone, where she'd pulled up the website for Studio Days. At first glance, I was already impressed.

"How many photographers are there at the agency?" I asked, scrolling through the vast pictures they had in their portfolio. They were captivating. These photos proved just how weddings could be one of the best days of your life. Moments of genuine joy, love, and happiness captured forever.

"We have around six photographers on board, with a few editors for clients who have specific requests," said Jessica. "I never really thought about doing wedding photography as an occupation, but now that I'm doing it, I couldn't think of anything more perfect for me."

"So you wouldn't consider any other photography, like, animal and nature photography?"

Jessica shook her head fervently, eyes wide with a look that said hell no. "Absolutely not. I have a friend who's an animal photographer. It takes him so long to get good shots because you, basically, have to wait and be there until animals decide to be cute or do anything interesting. I like my clients as compliant as they can be, though even bridezillas are hard to work with," she added the last part in a hushed tone. I laughed. "Nature photographers do some pretty crazy stuff for good shots, too. Besides, I'm a city girl through and through. I want to settle down here."

I was really glad Jessica found a profession in photography. It's always been a passion of hers ever since we were in the orphanage, even before I was there. The camera around her neck was practically a necklace to her, and it was a rare day to see her without it. I wondered...

"Hey, do you still have any photos from when we were in the orphanage?" I asked curiously. She took so many photographs and had a lot of them displayed on her own bedroom walls as if they were wallpaper. It would be a real trip down memory lane to see those throwback beauties again.

"Of course I do!" Jessica cried, as if it was foolish of me to think otherwise. 

I laughed and held my hands up. "Calm down, I was just wondering."

"Honestly, you have no idea. I haven't thrown any away; they're all kept in photo albums at my apartment. Pretty expensive to keep up with throughout the years, but the memories are absolutely priceless."

We had an unsaid, mutual understanding of where we were headed off to next after lunch. Jessica wasn't kidding when she said she hadn't thrown any photos away. Photo albums on photo albums, boxes upon boxes, all filled with old polaroids and printed pictures. The two of us soon found ourselves sitting on the floor with captured memories scattered all around us.

"These are so crazy to look at," I whispered, scanning all the pictures of me and the girls. The nostalgia I felt last night came rushing back seeing these familiar faces frozen in time. To think that all these girls who've come and gone were out there now with their new families, living new lives. A lot of the time, I'll have those reminiscent days where I wonder what's happened to some of my old friends. Were they better off now than they were before they found themselves in the orphanage? I sure hoped that was the case.

"Aw, look!" Jessica laughed and slid a small gray photo album towards me. A younger version of myself stared back at me with the flattest of expressions as I sat in the corner of a room.

I picked up the book and leaned closer. "Damn, my hair really hasn't changed. It's as long as ever. I think I remember this, though."

I'd just gotten to the orphanage when she took this photo. I wasn't comfortable with any of the girls at all and always kept to myself. It sounded a lot like how I am now. My lips thinned at that thought. No wonder Papa keeps pushing me to push myself. I haven't changed at all.

I flipped through the pages, slowing as, one by one, I began to remember seemingly forgotten memories. Emery, Cassie, Reyna . . . Playing out in the lot behind the building, laying around the living room with our textbooks, messing around in our shared bedrooms.

"Isn't it funny how one little photograph can open this kind of floodgate in your mind and bring back memories you haven't thought about in so long?" Jessica said softly, watching me as I went through the pages. I nodded mutely, then released a choked laugh as I stopped at a particular photo.

This is one moment I'll never forgot.

Reece Bremer at eighteen, holding a half dressed barbie doll with a scowl on his face, and six year old me, laughing at how stupid he looked. This picture was a gem. It was a ridiculous game I made up, dressing barbies while blindfolded, but it was a momentous occasion for me and my trust. He was the first person to do damage on the wall I built to protect myself even before I came to the orphanage. Since then, it seems like I've built it back up again.

I swept a hand under my eye, laughing shakily. "I don't know why I'm crying." My voice warbled as I spoke. Jessica smiled gently and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer so I could lay my head on her shoulder.

"This perfectly explains why I'm so in love with taking pictures. This" – she placed a hand on the photo – "is a captured moment. It's a memory, isn't it?"

I nodded. "It is. There's a memory in every one."

"You see, I think of pictures as capturing the moments of a memory. When you think back on a memory, it's a lot of smaller moments combined. A lot of those small moments get forgotten, even if they were what made the memory so special. So, like, with weddings, the memories from that night can be a blur, but the bride and groom can recall it as a lot of dancing, laughing, and drinking. They might forget how one dance move from the groom's crazy little nephew made tears of laughter come to his eyes, or how one joke told by a bridesmaid had soothed the bride's nerves while they were getting ready. A lot of little moments and memories are stored, dusty in the depths of your mind, long forgotten until a trigger brings them into the light again. Photos are that trigger, and I like to think I'm setting the trigger up for a lot of people."

I could see what she meant. The photo albums laid out in front of us were filled with so many memories – memories I had forgotten about yet remember now at just a glance of a picture. I pointed at one. "Emery and I loved wearing that sweater at the same time so that we could pretend we were sisters." I pointed to another on the next page where two of the girls were in the corner of the backlot, drawing on the ground with chalk. "And this one! Oh, man. Rayna and Carles liked to decorate a spot and pretend it was their flower shop. We would come order a bunch of roses."

Jessica laughed. "I remember that! You used to give those pretend flowers to me and Sylvia."

"It's all kind of like a diary, isn't it?" I said as my eyes gazed over the sea of memories that Jessica and I sat in the middle of.

"Oh, definitely. It could be like a visual diary. Written diaries help record things in more detail, depending how in depth you were when you wrote it."

"I don't think I've ever had a diary," I mused.

"I had one. I didn't end up keeping up with it, though, because someone at the orphanage had read it. I was so mortified that I threw it away immediately."

"I don't think my younger self would have wanted to write down everything or anything I was going through," I muttered somberly, more to myself in thought. If I had a physical record of everything that happened to me before my orphanage days, I'd burn it. Today, I happily block those days from my mind. I certainly would not want to read and relive them.

Jessica's expression turned soft, knowing full well that those days were dark and sensitive. Then, her eyes began to glitter with an idea. "Well, why not start a diary now?" she suggested. "I have a friend who's been doing it for years, and she absolutely loves it."

My face twisted. "I don't know, Jessica. Aren't diaries for kids?"

"They are most definitely not just for kids!" she exclaimed, sounding offended on her friend's behalf. She nudged me with her elbow. "Seriously, Darcy, it's not kiddish at all. My friend says she loves to read it at the end of the year, like closing a chapter in your life before you begin a new one. And then, when you're older, you have a collection of years and years, all written in words! It's like a time capsule!"

Admittedly, that was enough to sway my opinion on the kiddish thing, but I wasn't fully convinced to start one myself. "I don't know..." I said again.

"It'd be super cool," replied Jessica, dragging the word out and leaning on me until we collapsed onto our sides. She continued to drag out the -ool in "cool," even as I struggled in her hold.

"Okay, okay!" I protested, finally succeeding in pushing her off when my words loosened her grip. A satisfied smile stretched across her face. I glared without heat in my eyes. "When you put it like that, maybe I'll give it a shot."

At that, Jessica let out a celebratory squeal and threw her arms back around me, toppling us down onto the sea of memories once again.

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I took Jessica to the Brewing Café later that day after we went shopping. She still couldn't believe that me and Papa were the new owners. And, sometimes, I couldn't believe it either.

When she walked in and saw Papa sitting at one of the booths, she was full waterworks all over again. Seeing her go full waterworks at seeing Papa tipped me into becoming a little teary-eyed myself. Today was just so unbelievable that I sat and raved on and on to Papa about it. I've always considered Papa to be my best friend, so he's the one I always run my mouth to. But, recently, there's also been another person I've wanted to do that to. Unfortunately, he wasn't coming.

Chris texted me on our way to the café that he wouldn't be able to meet me and Jessica at the café, which really bummed me out. I wanted to tell him all about today and give him the biggest hug for setting this day up for me in the first place. I also wanted to tell him about the diary idea. The more I mulled over it, the more I wanted to do it. It'd be memory documentation for little and big memories alike.

I heaved a sigh as I stared down at my phone, reading over Chris's text. I wanted to share my thoughts with him.

"Damn, she's really hot."

I jumped at the blunt statement and turned my head to see one of our regular customers staring at Jessica where she sat chatting with Papa.

"Sorry, man, but she's been taken. For, like, ten years," I drawled, rolling my eyes. "Which reminds me..." My sentence trailed off as I hopped over the counter, leaving the customer to drool as I went over to them. "Hey, Jess, I forgot to ask where Reece is. I'd really love to see him again."

My insides turned in excitement at the thought of seeing him again, but it died when she gave me a sad smile. "He left for a business trip last night. After you moved, he was able to get a job in marketing – working with his company team to develop and pitch ideas to other companies. All that business jazz that I don't understand."

"Dang it." I plopped down next to Papa. I remember finding myself taken aback with Reece's career choice, but then realized I had no reason to. The man's as blunt and straightforward as it can get. I'm sure he's good at pitching his points.

Jessica sighed. "Yeah, my thoughts exactly," she said, longing in her eyes. "I hate when he leaves for business trips. But he should be back soon enough. I've already told him how you and Richard moved back to the city. He's absolutely thrilled."

Hearing that made me hug Papa's arm in complete elation. "If anything, Chris has that reunion surprise handled already."

Papa glanced towards the door. "Speaking of, honey, where's Christopher? I thought he was supposed to meet with us?

"He said he couldn't come anymore," I answered, looking down at my phone screen before directing a narrowed look towards Papa. "By the way, it was quite sneaky of you to team up with him and plan this surprise reunion behind my back."

"Well, I saw no harm in it at all," was his innocent reply.

The three of us left the café to eat dinner elsewhere and catch up. Jessica told Papa all about her photography jobs. Hearing all this once before, my mind was left to wander in thought. Again, my thoughts strayed back to the diary thing, and I wished Chris had come tonight.

It wasn't until we got home from dinner and I finished off my homework did I text him once more. Earlier, when I asked him why he couldn't come, his excuse was that he was swamped with work to do; however, that's not what he told me on the phone at midnight.

"You were in a bad mood?" I asked him, speaking in a quiet voice so that I didn't wake Papa.

"Yeah, just a bunch of stupid shit that went down," Chris grumbled from the other line. He still sounded upset but refused to tell me more about what happened.  "Don't worry about it, all right, Darce?" he insisted. "Anyway, how was your day with Jessica?"

I leaned my head back on the wall and smiled. The level of bliss I was feeling right now was almost as much as when Chris and I had our proper, cordial reunion. Reunions like this brought me to a whole different level of euphoria. These kinds of reunions were making New York feel more and more like home again.

"It was so great to catch up with her," I responded, closing my eyes. "We went back to her place and looked back at all the old photos from back in the day, which was crazy. She also suggested an interesting idea that I wanted to tell you about."

"Yeah? What is it?

I knew he couldn't see me, but I shook my head anyway. "We can talk about that another time. I'd like to tell you in person."

"If you insist," he replied.

"And, hey," I began, reaching for my braid. "I know you said you didn't wanna talk about what happened today, but just know I'm here to talk about whatever. You can come by anytime, seriously," I pushed.

I'm aware we haven't talked in years and only started just a few days ago, but it didn't feel like it. I'm amazed that our history together made it unbelievably natural to talk and be with him. That's what it felt like on my end, at least. I can't speak for him, but I hoped he was still comfortable enough to talk to me about things. I was afraid my offer would fall flat, but then my heart skipped at his next words.

"Well... Can I come over right now?"

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jessicaaa <3 this chapter didn't need much editing from the original manuscript because i was pretty happy with it. some of you may remember next chapter as well, but chapter seven will hold some new content/ og content. we're getting closer and closer to the end of revisions, just about 4 more chapters and things will start picking up even more!

c.q. - tell me one of your favorite memories <3 let me know all the moments! one of my favorite memories is on me and my boyfriend's 4 month anniversary, it was senior ditch day in high school so we woke up early and made breakfast together, dancing to some music in the kitchen. oo fun fact: he gave me a trebleheart necklace that i wear every time i go out. it's like i carry my stories and you guys with me :)

i'm really active on my new author instagram so if you wanna see sneak-peaks and updates, make sure to follow that!

i hope you enjoyed the chapter and i'll see you later this week for a brand new chapter <3 x