Days went by and before long another week came to a close.

The past few days all of us would watch movies or play video games together like in the old times. Tom and Tord even started to talk to each other as they had done in high school. Sure, they bickered and mocked each other but all in all it seemed; life turned out alright for us.

I, on the other hand, was struggling with my feelings towards Tord. Every time I saw him laugh my heart would skip a beat. When he talked with me my throat went dry. He'd told me about many things, like his still existing feeling of not deserving of help. Every time he talked to me about that I'd tell him that it wasn't right while pushing my ever growing feelings towards me down. 

When we sat next to each other while watching a movie or playing a game I had this fluttering feeling in my stomach. I couldn't even look at him without my face turning red like a tomato.

It started to annoy me. I wanted nothing more than to tell him how I feel but this would turn out badly. If I told him I would risk our friendship and that's the last thing I wanted. I knew it sounded like I was part of a bad and angsty teenage romance movie.

Knowing no other way to deal with my feelings I began avoiding Tord. This turned out difficult however since he lived in the same apartment as me.

At the same time I felt a strange pain every time Tord laughed at something Matt or Tom did. That's what people called jealousy, right? It made me sad and angry at the same time. Though I had to say, I had no legit reason to be jealous. I hadn't told Tord about my feelings so what reason did I have to feel like this?

"Edd?" I jumped somewhat when I heard Tord saying my name. Immediately I turned my head to look at him. Like everyday he wore a red hoodie and dark gray jeans. It had turned out I had some of his clothes in my closet. I didn't know how or why they were there, but it wasn't like I cared. He looked at me with a concerned expression on his face. "Y-Yeah?" I felt how my face was heating up, so I wanted to get this over with as fast as possible. Why was Tord here in the first place? He should be over at Matt's apartment, playing videogames with him and Tom. Okay, I should be too, but I left a while ago since my feelings had almost caused a commotion inside me.

Tord sat down next to me on the couch. "Are you alright? You're sitting here on the couch, staring into the off for more than half an hour." "I-I'm just thinking about something." He tilted his head as if asking "what about?" Great, now I talked myself into a corner. "Nothing important", I continued. Hopefully he'd believe me. From the looks of it though, it didn't seem like it. "Edd, I know you long enough. Something is bothering you", he said, his voice full of worry, "So please tell me." I wanted nothing more than to just leave; run as far away as possible from here.

Suddenly I felt him grabbing me by the shoulders. I raised my head, looking straight into his bright, gray eyes. They reminded me of rainstorms.

At this point my face probably was as red as a tomato. Then Tord raised one of his hands and rested it against my forehead. His eyes widened. "Are you sick?" My heart pounded against my ribcage, I felt like Tord would be able to hear it.

Even though being sick sounded like a great excuse I shook my head. "No Tord. I'm alright." Without looking at him I knew he didn't believe me. I hated his persistence. "Edd, just tell me." And then I said something I never thought I'd say to him. "I'm alright and if you don't believe me, that's your fault." Tord let go of me, staring at me with wide eyes. He said nothing after that and just looked at ground a while later. "I just want to help."

That sentence brought me back to when I had found him. I had said the exact same words. Immediately I felt a pang of guilt exploding in my heart but instead of saying sorry I just continued, "You'd be more of a help if you just leave me alone for a while." What the fuck was I saying? Tord's already big eyes widened ever so slightly.

I wanted to apologize but no word left my lips, so I simply looked at him. Before long he turned around and walked away. I watched him leave the apartment. Despite what I thought he didn't smash the door closed. Instead he left quietly as if he didn't want me to hear him.

As soon as he was out I sighed, feeling guilty for my harsh words. Tord just wanted to help me and what did I do? Pushing him away like he had done. Fear crept into my mind. What if I caused Tord to break again? I shook my head at that thought. Tord had gotten much better ever since he had come back. Even if he didn't talk with me he'd go over to Matt or Tom. I was sure that's what he was doing right now.

To get my mind off this situation I laid back on the couch and closed my eyes. Maybe I could catch some much needed sleep. Yeah, I hadn't gotten any decent sleep in the last few days since my thoughts always wandered off.

After all, how bad could things go?