Tuesday, 6th May.

Eight months later

A D D I E

"Happy birthday, sweetie," I said to Willa over FaceTime on Tuesday morning. She wore a splitting grin and rubbed her tired eyes. I wanted to make sure that I got a phone call in before she went to school.

"Thanks, Addie."

"What's for breakfast this morning?"

"Waffles with berries and syrup and cream."

"That sounds like a sweet start to the morning."

She nodded and Raine appeared in the background, leaning over Willa's shoulder. "Good morning," she waved. "Let me see the bump."

As usual, Raine wanted to ooh and aah over my stomach. I was due seven days ago, so currently, I was the size of a house. Their coos sounded over the phone when I lowered it and showed them my protruding belly under a tank top that left my midriff bare.

Nothing fit quite the same but I couldn't complain too much, as far as pregnancies went, this one had been straight forward, mostly painless, nausea free. For that, I was thankful. It seemed like my string of bad luck was slowing. I raised the camera again and slouched further into Irie's sofa. Or our sofa as she liked to call it. We'd been living together ever since she saved me from the condo before I became embedded in the carpet.

No matter how many plants she added to the decor, it still didn't feel like home.

"Will," I said. "Can I talk to Raine for a minute?"

"Okay," she blew a kiss and handed the phone over.

"What's up?"

"I just wanted to make sure we were all set for the surprise?"

"We sure are," Raine grinned, the background moving behind her as she walked through her home. "We get on the flight straight after school. We should be in Beverly Hills at around seven tonight. She's going to be so excited."

Since I left Texas, I had been back twice to see Willa. And in between those visits, we spoke on the phone at least three times a week. Things were better than ever. We were close, we were fast becoming best friends.

Willa made me feel whole at a time in my life where I'd never felt so depleted. Unfortunately, I was too pregnant to travel for her birthday, so Milo and Raine graciously agreed to let Raine and Willa spend the weekend here in Beverly Hills. I couldn't wait to get my arms around her.

"Say hello," Raine stopped and turned the camera on Milo who was dressed for work while he drank a coffee. He smiled and gave me a quick wave.

"How's it going, Milo?" I asked. For the most part, Milo and I had absolved our differences and got along just fine. Sometimes I still got the feeling that he was nervous about my part in his daughter's life. Worried that I might attempt to lure her in and have her choose me. He'd eased up over the last few months though, I hoped that he was starting to realize, all I wanted was to know her.

"Not bad," he nodded. "How's the little one growing?"

"She's growing," I said and felt my heart skip a beat, as it often did when I thought about the fact that Margo's daughter was growing inside of me. A piece of the sister that I lost.

Milo excused himself and told me that he was looking forward to hearing all about how our girls weekend goes. He had to work but he figured it would be nice to leave the ladies to it anyway. That was what I considered progress.

It was just Raine and I again. "So," she looked at me, cautious, and I knew where she was going with this conversation before she even opened her mouth. "Zac said to say hello."

I sighed. I'd managed to avoid Zac on both occasions that I was in Texas visiting Willa. I knew that I wouldn't be strong enough to see him but I also knew that it wasn't going to work even if I did. Not under these circumstances.

"He misses you."

"So you tell me," I said. "But he shouldn't. He should be well over it by now. We knew each other for one month. I've been gone for like eight. Surely, he's over it."

"Are you over it?"

The lie that I was about to tell got caught in my throat and she gave me a smug stare.

"So not over it."

"Raine, I'm not right for him. It's too complicated."

"You're being irrational. The fact that neither of you seem to be able to move on should attest to the fact that you had a huge impact on each other's lives."

"Except for the fact that he was alone before I came along," I pointed out. "So, it can't be that unusual for him to be single. And I am pregnant. I'm not on the market."

"Semantics," she scoffed. "You do realize that you'll have to face him at the wedding," she reminded me of the promise I'd made to come to her wedding in October. Five month old infant and all. I'd agreed but I was still thinking of how I could get out of it. "Don't even think about it," she warned. "You're coming to my wedding. Willa would be crushed if you didn't watch her throw flower petals down the aisle."

"That is a low blow," I seethed and exhaled. She was right though. I wouldn't miss it. Hopefully by then, Zac would have moved on and the thought of seeing him wouldn't send my stomach into a flutter of dancing baby limbs.

We said our goodbyes and I assured her that a car service would be waiting at the airport tonight. Irie cleared her throat and I rolled my head backwards to see her leaning over the glass railing on the second floor.

"Am I invited to the wedding?"

"You hate weddings."

"I do not," she scoffed and started down the stair case. "Besides, I'll endure it if I get to meet this Zac fellow. He sounds gorgeous."

"You weren't invited."

"Well excuse me, I'm about to let the bride stay in my apartment. I'm sure I could wrangle an invitation out of her."

She probably could, it was Raine after all, just about the sweetest person I knew. Irie had work in New York over the next few days, so I was going to be in her room, Raine was going to be in mine and Willa would be on the upstairs pull out sofa in the living space. However, she wasn't going to be leaving until after Willa arrived because she desperately wanted to meet my birth daughter.

"What time is Lo coming over?" Irie asked, flicking the kettle on. She leaned against the counter top and folded her arms.

"Ten."

"You need a hand to get upstairs and showered before she arrives?"

"I'm pregnant, Irie. Not invalid. Thanks though."

"Are you sure that you want to do this?"

I stood up and sighed, certain in an uncertain sort of way. For the last few months, Lo and I had been in talks of her buying me out of May, We? The business was everything to Margo. Her heart and soul went into event planning and while I was good at what I did, I didn't love it like she did.

With her gone, it was even harder to stay invested. It was time to let it go, and as hard as that was going to be, I knew it would be in good hands with Lo. She knew how much Margo cared about her work and I always had a feeling that Lo cared a lot about Margo. She was the one that had kept it afloat since Margo died. She'd do her proud.

"I'm sure," I smiled and started waddling upstairs.

When I was showered and dressed in a floor length summer dress, I hobbled back downstairs and found that Lo was already on the sofa with paper work spread out on the coffee table and Irie nowhere to be seen.

"Hey," I said and watched the blond twist and peer over her shoulder. Her pale cheeks lifted in a broad smile and she swept me over.

"Wow," she said. "Not long to go, huh? You look radiant."

"Thanks, Lo," I lowered myself into the sofa next to her. "I don't feel radiant, but I appreciate that."

"At least you have an excuse," she pointed at her stomach. Lo was a bigger woman but that didn't dim her beauty, not as far as I was concerned. Besides, when I wasn't pregnant, I wasn't exactly a model either, with wide hips and thighs. "Anyway," she blushed and waved a dismissive hand. "It's still so hard to believe that her baby is in there," she stared at my stomach with awe. "She's gone and yet, part of her remains. Incredible."

"It is pretty incredible," I rubbed a hand across my stomach. "Sort of bitter sweet."

"Mmm. Have you decided how you're going to raise her? As in, who you'll be to her."

"I think I'm going to be mom," I said. "She deserves that. You know? She deserves to have a mom. She'll know the truth about Margo of course but I don't want to make her feel. . . I don't know, isolated? It's hard to think of the right word. I wouldn't want her to grow up and not have the privilege of calling someone mom. It would seem unfair to make her call me aunt or whatever. To never experience having a parent."

"That's very selfless of you," Lo said and I nodded. It was quiet for a moment until she sniffed, straightened up and looked at the papers. "So, should we talk business?"

"We should."

"Can I ask," she paused before reaching for the paperwork. "What are you going to do now that you're not event planning?"

"I'm going to do what I've always wanted to do and study horticulture. There's um— there's a good chance I'll move out of Beverly Hills after the baby is born."

"Oh—"

"It's just— it's not where I want to live. You know? At first I thought it wouldn't be right to leave the place that I lived with Margo but my therapist has been amazing at helping me sort through these emotions and allowing me to understand that Margo is gone and I can't let that stop me from living. She'd want me to be happy. Plus, her memory is alive with me. It doesn't matter where I am. Irie helped me understand that too. There are some things that I need to do for myself in order to heal. Confining myself to certain circumstances is actually going to do more harm than good in the long run."

Lo gave the top of my hand a gentle rub. "That's very true. I just hope I'll get to meet that baby before you leave."

"Oh, Lo, one hundred percent."

Lo left with a drawn up agreement in hand. It would have to go through our lawyers and be notarized and whatnot before it was official but as far as I was concerned, she now owned May, We?

And it was hers to do with it as she wished. She mentioned that she would like to change the name but asked for permission to incorporate Margo. That wasn't a problem with me. She meant a lot to so many people here in Beverly Hills. I hadn't been all that surprised to find out that there were memorials and tributes and things like that going on for weeks after I left. Part of me wished that I hadn't missed it all. Hindsight I suppose.

That afternoon I got a video message from Raine. She and Willa were at the airport and the camera was on Will while she looked around in confusion.

"It's your birthday surprise," Raine said, off camera.

I giggled at her sweet face, alarmed and excited all at once. "Where are we going?"

"We are going to Beverly Hills," Raine said and Willa's eyes widened. "To see Addie."

"No way?!" She bounced on the spot and my heart felt as if it was going to beat right out of my chest. "Are we really?"

"Yep."

Willa clapped, bounced and squealed. "Yesyesyesyesyes," she said in a short breath. The video ended.

The most I had achieved by seven that night was putting fresh sheets on all of the beds— not an easy task with a giant stomach getting in the way— and setting the table for dinner. Irie was out getting Willa's favorite, enchiladas and egg salad. Well, her current favorite. Her tastes changed from month to month. The doorbell rang just before I planted myself back on the sofa and I sighed with relief that I hadn't sat down. There was a butt mold forming from where I sat in the corner so often.

Baby started to kick and I exhaled as I swung the door open and was met with two beautiful faces.

"M- Addie," Willa squealed and launched herself at me. She was careful though and I pulled her in tight, squeezing her, holding back tears so that she didn't think I was insane. I missed her so much when we were apart. It was hard to believe I lived without her for ten years.

Raine slipped past us with two travel bags and closed the door. When Willa and I finally parted, I gave Raine a hug too.

"Pregnancy suits you," she winked, holding my belly. Her braids were wrapped in a bun on the top of her head and she wore a hoodie and sweats.

"Sure. Hey, are you cold?"

"I'm not hot," she shrugged. "But I am used to the Texan heat so don't mind me. This is a cute place."

"Yeah," I waved a flippant hand. "Irie's out getting dinner. Your favorite, birthday girl."

Willa gasped. "Egg rolls and rice salad?!"

I winced. "Uh, no. But there is egg salad and enchiladas."

"Also my favorite," she grinned.

My heart sped up and I pulled her in again. "I am so happy you're here. You have no idea. Should we go upstairs and put your things away? I'll show you where you're sleeping."

Raine and Willa followed me upstairs and we stopped at the living area first. The couch was pulled out and the curtains were still open. Willa immediately skipped over to the rectangle window that stretched along the wall and I saw her jaw drop in the reflection. "Wow, this view is so cool. I can see the whole city!"

"Not bad, huh?"

"And you're thinking of trading this place for Texas?" Raine whispered so that Willa didn't hear her.

"Are you kidding me?" I whispered back. "I love it there. This is a great place but it's just—"

"Not you," Raine finished and rolled her eyes with amusement. "This apartment is something you see on Suits. Or Gossip Girl. It's beautiful."

She was right. This place was beautiful. But beautiful didn't mean comfort. It didn't mean home.

The sound of the door slamming shut startled me and I peered over the glass rail to see Irie walking into the kitchen with bags full of food, huffing and puffing. "Friday night traffic is a fucking nightmare," she squawked and I gave the girls an apologetic look. "I walk into the store, yeah? And the order isn't even bloody ready even though I phoned it through, like, half n hour ahead of time. It's so damn packed in there that I'm about to kick off if one more asshole bumps into me. Barely room to breathe. I think I inhaled someone's fucking fart. Turns out the daft bastards had given my order to someone else! So, I got the whole meal free and a couple of extra sides too."

Surely she was done. "Irie? Willa and Raine are here."

Her head snapped up and she screamed, a loud piercing scream that echoed through the apartment. She discarded the food onto the table and started sprinting up the staircase in her six inch platforms.

"Where is she?" She appeared at the landing and her sights fell on Willa.

"Stop," she clutched her chest. "Stop. No. She is so cute. She is beautiful! She looks just like you."

Willa wore a sheepish smile while she had the attention of the room and then Irie outstretched her arms and wiggled her fingers.

"Can we hug?!"

Willa nodded.

"You don't have to hug her," I said but Will shrugged and let Irie scoop her up. Next to the former model, Willa looked so small. The height difference between Willa and I wasn't that much but Irie was almost six foot without an extra six inches.

"You must be Raine," Irie shook Raine's hand but still had Willa tucked in next to her. "It's nice to meet you."

"You as well. Thank you so much for having us."

"I absolutely love that accent," Irie said. "And not a problem. I wish I didn't have to leave. I want to get to know you both. But work is work. I am not willing to part with this lifestyle right now. So I do what must be done."

Raine nodded and Willa stared up at Irie, no doubt in awe of her height. Or just who Irie is as a person. She's a tornado, that's for sure.

"When do you have to leave?" I asked.

"In about half n hour. So let's go and eat," she grabbed Willa by the hand and dragged her downstairs. "I want to hear all about school and gossip and whatever the heck you're into. What are you into?"

"Um, I really like books and movies. And swimming. Um, oh and my uncle has been teaching me about cars and stuff too. That's pretty cool."

I couldn't help but react to the mention of Zac. My instinct was to ask for more details. What kind of car was he working on right now. How were things with Keith at the home? I didn't know anything else apart from that one thing that Raine had shared. Keith had moved out but Zac was still at the house where the wedding would be held. In terms of conversation that surrounded Zac, it was off limits. I didn't want to be updated on his life. It was too hard.

We ate together at the table, well, Irie inhaled her dinner, and then she left after a round of cuddles.

"Alright," I said, coming back from upstairs with a big box, wrapped and topped with a ribbon.

Willa lit up from where she sat on the sofa. "Is that for me?"

"It sure is."

The three of us sat on the sofa and I set the gift down in front of Will who immediately tore into the paper. Inside was a gift box of different assorted items. She gasped, gently taking them out one at a time and carefully inspecting them.

There were a few delicate ornaments wrapped in tissue paper. A ceramic book, a vintage fairy with transparent wings, a mushroom house and rocking chair. It was all so cute and I bought them with the thought that she could put them in her outdoor library.

There were also a few sweets and treats, a notebook and a set of vintage stationary with sunflowers and daisies on it. There were some books and gift cards in there too. It was hard not to go over board while I was shopping for her. But I had to think about the fact that she had to fly home with all of it.

"I love everything," she said, shuffling through the tissue paper and coming to the last gift hidden right at the bottom. "No way! She squealed and lifted the Polaroid camera out of the box. "These are so cool. They take the best photos that look old."

"Wow," Raine whistled. "You're a lucky girl, huh?"

Willa threw her arms around my neck and squeezed. "Thank you, Addie."

"You're welcome."

"Can we take a photo right now?"

"Of course."

We worked together to put the little stack of Polaroid sheets into the camera and once we'd done that, I lifted the camera and the three of us put our heads together so that I could snap the selfie. Willa could barely contain herself as the Polaroid printed.

"It looks so cool," she said when it was done and she was right. It did. It had a vintage aesthetic about it, which suited her so well.

"There's a few packets of Polaroids in there too," I said, knowing how fast she would go through them.

"You'll have to get lots of photos of you and your friends at home," Raine said, smiling with gratitude.

We took a few more photos after that, we spent an hour or so chatting, Raine showered and called it a night after she'd tucked Willa in and before I went to bed, I climbed onto the pull out sofa with Willa and aimed the remote at the television.

"Should we watch a movie?"

She grinned and nodded.

"Which one?"

"Hmmm, what about a Marvel movie?"

"You like those ones?"

"Yeah. They're pretty cool. My friend Grace showed me some of them. My favorite one is The First Avenger."

"Is that because it's set in the forties?"

She wore a guilty smile and pulled the sheet up and over her mouth.

"Knew it," I teased. "You were so born in the wrong era."

"That's what I thought, but there was lots about the old eras that wasn't good. War and slavery and stuff."

I paused scrolling through the Disney app and looked down at the little girl beside me. "You're so right. And so smart."

She snuggled closer and rested her hand on my bulging belly, slowly moving it from side to side. Suddenly, baby started to kick and Willa gasped.

"Did you feel her?!" I asked and she nodded. So I put my hand on top of hers and held it tight. "She's kicking. Oh that's so sweet."

"I've never felt a baby kick before."

"Cool, right?"

"Yeah. Do you know what her name will be?"

"I do," I said. "Maggie Margo May."

"That's a lot of M's."

"It's cute though, right? I like it. I think Margo would have liked it. She wouldn't have used her own name if she were here, but I have to honor her. It would be too hard calling her Margo every day but it's a good middle name."

"What if you and uncle Zac get married? Maggie Margo Ryan?"

"Oh. My. Gosh. Willa?!"

She giggled and shrugged as if she was totally innocent. "Just wondering."

I sighed and folded my arms, resting them on top of my stomach. "It would actually be Maggie Margo May- Ryan. Because May is also sentimental. Not that it matters because I am not marrying Zac."

"You should. You guys are so stubborn."

"Alright, miss," I playfully narrowed my stare. "Who have you been talking to? Hmmm?"

Willa didn't answer so I started tickling her and she squirmed and giggled and kicked around.

"Spill. Who's your source?!"

"Never!"

Eventually, we did watch the movie. But we must have fallen asleep half way through it because I woke up on the pull out sofa, right beside a curled up Willa.