Sunday the 26th of August.

A D D I E

It'd been one week since Zac took me on a spontaneous date, which he claimed wasn't for my birthday but I know that it was.

He was subtle about making sure that I was celebrated. I appreciated that. He knew that I wasn't interested in going all out but I wasn't alone and that made a big difference.

Both of us had been swamped on the farm over the week. Well, him more so than me.

Several people, acquaintances, had brought their cars in at the end of the day which meant that he'd had a lot of late nights. So I'd occupied myself with horticultural studies in my spare time and I'd learned a lot about different flowers and plants. Horticulture was something that I'd wanted to study for a long time. A real correspondence course that could qualify me to work in that field. Unfortunately, there had never been a good time.

I'd planted some rosemallows, a gorgeous red flower with five soft petals, drooping with jagged edges and a fuzzy stem sprouting from the middle. They sat among a quarter of the flower bed with shoeblackplant flowers. Which were a similar red and shape with smoother edged petals.

They were all growing beautifully and fast because of the extra nutrients that I was giving them. Keith had obviously been watering them daily before I arrived, which was good, but feeding the soil gave it that something extra. He seemed to appreciate the effort.

He stepped out onto the back deck where we were gathered for Sunday brunch. A meal that I looked forward to all week. Not only was the food mouthwatering, but the people were fulfilling as well. Everyone together, at the table, smiling and sharing stories of their week. Something within me craved this sort of company. Needed it.

"Mornin," Keith looked jovial as he pulled out a seat and lowered himself into it. His thin wisps of dark grey hair were combed over and as usual, he was wearing a plaid shirt and big navy blue sweatpants. He sat opposite me on the same side of the table as Willa, Milo and Raine. The seat beside me was still vacant. I wasn't sure where Zac was.

"Willa honey," Keith said. "Look at your pretty hair. Who did that?"

Willa smiled and touched her dark brown French braids. "Raine did it. We were practicing ideas for the wedding."

"Very clever my Raine is."

I smiled when Keith winked at me and started dishing eggs onto his plate. For the last few mornings, I'd been the one to go down and collect the eggs from the coop instead of Blake. It was one less job for her to do.

Milo stretched his arms above his head and yawned before he slipped his shades onto his face. "So how's it all going out here, Addie? Missing home?"

I wasn't sure how much Milo knew about my situation. He knew that I'd lost Margo and come here on a whim but other than that, I wasn't sure. The only person that I'd shared with, in depth, how much I didn't want to go home, was Zac and he didn't strike me as the sort to share our conversations with anyone else.

"I love it here," I told him truthfully.

Raine peered over at me while she buttered her toast. "What do you love about it?"

I lowered my head and hid a grin. She had been fishing for information on Zac and I since she caught us on our spontaneous 'date' last weekend. It wasn't that I wanted to keep secrets from her or hide whatever this thing with Zac was, but that was just it, I had no idea what it was.

There were feelings there and when I was with him, it felt breathtaking, the sensation of being swept off my feet, butterflies and giggles. The whole ordeal. But when I was in bed, alone with thoughts and haunted dreams of a dead sister, I felt immense guilt and grief. Life couldn't stop when someone else's did. We had to keep moving, breathing, eating, being. But it felt wrong. I'd never been more conflicted. On one hand, I wanted to live for her and on the other hand I wanted to lie down, sink into the dirt and cease to be, just as she had.

"I love all of it," I answered Raine's question and forced myself not to look up at Zac when my peripheral vision caught him appearing from the French doors. "There's a lot to do. A lot to keep me occupied. It's nice."

"Yeah," Raine nodded with a teasing grin. "There is a lot to keep someone occupied around here, isn't there?"

I inhaled a deep breath and refused to react to her implied meaning. Zac pulled out the seat beside me and sat down. His fresh showered aroma hit me and I felt my pulse quicken in response. He smelt sensational. When I finally peeped at him, I noticed his damp hair tousled in a mess, his fitted T-shirt and shorts. He was watching me and winked, causing my entire stomach to turn over itself.

"It's hot," Willa fanned at her face and Milo immediately sat up so that he could pour her an iced water from the pitcher. "Can we go for a swim after brunch?"

Milo slid the glass towards her. "We can't hang around today, bub. Raine has to get her sleep and I have to finish painting the windowsills at home. I thought you could help me."

Willa pouted but she didn't argue, which I thought was sweet.

"Zac and Addie can watch her," Keith piped up. "If they're not busy."

"Of course," I nodded, smiling at Willa who was beginning to perk up with hope. "I mean, I can't speak for Zac. But I'd be happy to watch her."

"Yeah no worries," Zac added.

Milo and Raine looked at each other and gave a little shrug each. I watched with fascination and felt transported back into my childhood, remembering that little wordless act of communication between parents. It was something that I hadn't seen in the longest time. Once it was just Margo and I, she didn't consult with another parent. The choices were hers and hers alone.

"Yeah that's alright," Milo smiled at Willa who clapped with excitement. "You have a swimsuit here?"

Willa nodded and pushed her seat back, sprinting into the house.

"Hold on, Will, finish brunch first!"

Willa either didn't hear her dad or she didn't care because she didn't come back and we could hear her footsteps thudding upstairs. There was a low collective laughter around the table and Keith pushed his chair backward next.

"You alright, dad?" Zac asked and Raine joined him in watching their father get up, slow and careful.

"Yeah of course," Keith said. "Just full. Food was excellent. I've got some paperwork to deal with in the office so I'll head off."

"It's Sunday," Raine said. "Relax, dad. It can be done tomorrow."

He waved her off and headed inside. Zac and Raine looked at each other.

"I'm worried about him," Raine ran her hands down her face, looking somewhat exhausted.

She did most Sunday mornings after she'd been working all night. She told me that Saturday nights were her busiest. A lot of Juvenal arrests for drinking or bar fights or street racing.

But this exhaustion was paired with the well-being of someone she cared about and that she was an entirely different level of tired. "He seems so dottery and fragile at the moment."

Zac pushed his food around with a fork and shrugged. "He's alright. He's gettin' old. Stiff joints. The usual."

He said it like he meant it, but I knew that he worried too. I'd seen it more than once over the last couple of weeks. He'd watch his dad at the dinner table, or he'd watch him when Keith was sitting in the sun room, sipping a coffee while he watched the views from the window and Zac always asked his dad if he was alright.

"I'm ready to swim," Willa appeared at the French doors and bounced on the spot in another retro swimsuit. This one was a two piece with high waist bottoms that were more of a boy short shape than a brief and the top was wide with a bow on the left strap.

"Let Addie and Zac finish their food, sweetie," Raine said, exhaling as she pushed her empty plate into the middle of the table.

Willa rested her chin on the back of the seat and grinned at us. I giggled when she mouthed 'hurry up.'

"Will," Milo warned.

"Well, I'm done," I said. "How about I go and get into my suit and we'll get into the pool?"

"You're going to swim too?!"

"Yeah," I gave her an enthusiastic nod and stood up so that I could head inside. I wasn't a confident swimmer. I wouldn't go into the deep end where I couldn't touch the ground but I enjoyed wading in the water.

"Do you have a proper swimsuit this time?" She tilted her head with question. "Last time you just had underwear."

"In fact, I do have proper swimsuit," I laughed as we wandered through the dining area. "I went and got one when I found out that there's a pool here. I haven't had a chance to use it though."

"It's really cool. And big. I love swimming."

"I can tell. You have super cute swimsuits as well."

She followed me upstairs. "Thanks. There's this one that Allie wears in the Notebook, when she's at the swimming hole with her friends, I love it but I couldn't find one the same. I found a few different ones though. Well, Raine did. She said she really likes my style."

"She's a good step momma, huh?"

"The best," Willa grinned when we came to my bedroom. "I'll wait downstairs."

She skipped off again and I smiled after her. She wasn't as shy as she had been when we met, she seemed a lot more comfortable chatting to me now.

I quickly changed into the new bikini that I'd bought during the week, an olive green one with a push up bust and a cheeky pair of bottoms, I slapped on some sunscreen and then headed downstairs.

Instead of going back toward the dining room, I slipped through the living area, through the sun room and out of a different set of French doors that opened onto a narrow deck.

Willa was waiting by the fence at the bottom of the steps. She swung a towel around her wrist and let it unravel again.

"Sorted?" I asked.

She startled and then smiled when she saw me. "Yep."

I could tell where the gate was in the fence but I had to peep around to figure out how to open it and then I saw the latch at the top and sighed. Sometimes being short was such an inconvenience.

"Hmm," I rested my hands on my hips and stared up at it, squinting at the sun. "Maybe I'll have to give you a boost?"

"Let me," I heard a deep voice behind me and then I felt a bare firm chest against my back as Zac reached over me and opened the latch with ease.

Willa rushed straight in.

"Don't run, Will," Zac shouted after her as I turned around and found him watching me. He was wearing a pair of trunks low on his hips and his gaze moved slow and sweeping from head to toe. "Damn Addie, we're supposed to be watching Willa and I'm pretty sure that I won't be able to stop watching you."

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip. He cupped my jaw and used his thumb to tug on my lip. I could feel the tension pulling like a rubber band and knew how easily it would snap and become uncontrolled if we pushed it further.

"After you," he gestured at the gate that he was still holding open.

"Thank you," I smiled, wound up.

"No, thank you."

"For?"

"The view," he said from behind me and winked when I looked over my shoulder.

Willa was sitting on the edge of the pool when we came in. She slipped off and into the water as soon as she saw us. She was right. The pool was gorgeous. It reminded me of a watering hole. It was made of rock and at one end of the pool, it extended tall and a slide was built into the rock. There was a waterfall and lights at the bottom. Willa hopped out of the pool again and started climbing steps that were hidden behind the slide.

"This is beautiful."

Zac hummed with agreement and stood close behind me. We could hear Willa in the slide and before she emerged, Zac slowly pulled my hair behind my shoulder, his finger tips grazing my neck.

The effect that they had on me was surreal and something that I had never experienced before. I'd had butterflies. I'd had first moments. But I'd never felt so strongly moved from the mere touch of one person.

Willa appeared at the bottom of the slide and came out of the water, inhaling a breath and rubbing her face. I grinned but the grin soon dropped when I felt a strong pair of arms hoist me up and send me through the air. My arms and legs flailed and I squealed but closed my mouth when I hit the cold water and went under.

When I came up, inhaling a deep, sputtering breath, Willa and Zac were laughing, loud. Willa had a cute laugh, sort of corse for such a young girl but the sound of it was pure elation and unfiltered happiness.

"That was cruel." I vigorously wiped at my face and laughed when Zac ran to the edge and bombed into the water beside me, creating a little wave. The water was cool, a relief from the heat.

We messed around in the pool for a couple of hours. Willa used the slide at least a thousand times. We found a ball and threw passes. Zac pushed Willa around on an inflatable pool bed and I watched him interact with her, admiring how patient and gentle he was.

It was the middle of the afternoon when she hoisted herself onto the edge, claiming that she was starving. So we got out and made her something to eat, having lunch while we bathed on the deck.

We went down to the orchard and picked some oranges to squeeze juice. We went and saw Noah the donkey and fed him a couple of apples. Willa's hair was still in French braids but taking a long time to dry, the tips had left damp patches on her pale blue T-shirt. She didn't seem to mind.

We were wandering along the dirt trail together after we'd seen Noah. Zac had run off to check on the horses water and food so we said that we'd meet him at the house.

Willa took me by surprise when she slipped her hand in mine. I said nothing but the gesture warmed me. It warmed so much that it was startling. It was an onslaught of sudden emotion and I felt tears start to well. What in the hell. . .

"So," I cleared my throat and resisted the urge to hug her and tell her that she's my new best friend. All that would do is scare her. "How has it been since school started?"

"Mmm," she shrugged. "Fine. I have a new teacher though and I don't know about her."

I giggled at her mature tone. "What's wrong with her?"

"Well, we do the trips to the library but she only lets us rent from the children section. My last teacher let me get whatever I wanted. But my new teacher thinks that I'll get something with sex and stuff in it. But I wouldn't because I know that I'm not allowed until I'm older."

I wanted to protect this little girl with my whole heart. "Doesn't sound fair. Have you told your dad?"

She watched the ground as we walked. "Na. I think he'd just tell me, that's life, Will."

"You never know, he might talk to the new teacher and explain the situation. Wouldn't that be good?"

"Yeah. It would be."

"You'll never know unless you ask."

She nodded. "I used to use the adoption card when this sort of thing happened. I don't know why but it worked when I wanted something and I wasn't getting it. But then dad told me I wasn't allowed to do that. It was a extortion, he said."

"Adoption card?"

"Yeah. I'm adopted."

I recoiled and had to remind myself to keep walking.

"Wow. I didn't know."

She shrugged. "It's not a big deal. My dad is my dad. Grandpa Keith always tells me that choosing family is a much more powerful love and connection than acknowledging someone just because their blood is tied to mine."

I smiled but I couldn't shake the tingle at the back of my neck. "That's true," I said with a thick throat. "It's about who shows up and puts in the effort. You were chosen. I think that's beautiful."

"Me too," she grinned.

"So, you've never met your birth parents?"

"No," her voice sounded a hint more solemn.

I felt nauseous and I wasn't sure what for. We wandered through the garden gate and I stopped at the garden beds for a moment, admiring the flowers and wondering how to casually ask when Willa's birthday is.

"These are so pretty," she was kneeling beside me, running the tip of her finger across a bright pink petal.

"Aren't they? Maybe we could plant a flower for you? Perhaps the colour of your birth stone."

"Oh. I don't know what that colour is."

"Well when's your birthday?"

"May 6th."

My vision blurred and my heart beat so hard that I couldn't breathe. "Emerald," I had to put my hands in the grass beneath me so that I didn't lose sense of my surroundings. "Your colour is emerald."