I loved waking up before Astral, because then I got to watch him. He'd always push the covers off, exposing his body. And this time we hadn't gotten dressed before we had fallen asleep, so he was exposing himself in all his glory.

I pulled the covers up to his lower back, so he at least was a bit decent, and I still got to watch his back. He had a beautiful back. His shoulders were broad, and his shoulder blades poked out. On his lower back, he had two hills flanking his spine, showing that despite him not being the healthiest, he did still move around.

I gently brushed some hair out of his eyes, but it sprang right back again. He twitched a little and then his eyes opened.

"Hey," he murmured hoarsely. "What're you doing?"

"I just tried to get some hair out of your eyes, but it was determined to stay there."

"It's on my head to taunt me." He closed his eyes again, but lifted his arm, getting on his side rather than laying on his stomach. I moved quickly, so I could be in his embrace. He chuckled and placed a kiss on top of my head.

I had my face very close to his chest and decided running my fingers over his ribs was the best idea in the world. He sighed contently and I couldn't help but smile.

"What are we doing today?" I asked as my fingers slowly made their way to his back, following a valley between his ribs.

"This. Staying in bed. You not putting on any clothes." He urged me to move up a little, so we were facing each other. His hand ran down my body, down to my butt, giving it a squeeze and pulling me close, our bodies flush.

"We should do something more productive with our time, don't you think?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice under control.

"This is very productive," he chuckled and caught my lips with his. He pressed me closer again, deepening the kiss.

It felt like my stomach tried to turn itself inside out. My whole body was tingling, and it was getting progressively harder to breathe properly. I melted into his body. It was warm and safe in his embrace and I loved it.

"Mars," Astral murmured and pulled back. "About the... Thing."

"The thing?" I whispered, my eyes still closed.

"Yeah, the thing about you not being a boy..."

I opened my eyes and hesitantly met his gaze. "What about it?"

"Have you... Figured something out?"

I sighed and hugged him closer, getting my head under his chin. I didn't want eye contact right now. It was easier if he didn't look at me.

"No, but... I liked getting my hair braided. It was nice and I feel pretty."

"You've always been pretty," Astral said softly and gently dug his fingers into my back, massaging it.

"I've never felt pretty. Not in that way. And I wanna be friends with Zeke. I can feel she brings something out in me, that I need to explore."

"And you're sure, you're still not... You know."

I couldn't help but snort. "If you say 'girl' they're not gonna materialise, Astral. And I... I'm just not sure about anything. Neither feels right and I don't know how to explain it. I don't mind when other people call me a boy or man or whatever. I'd just like if those closest to me... Didn't."

"I'm not sure I understand."

I frowned and tried to figure out how to explain something that was entirely a feeling. I didn't know anything but that I was just me.

"I'm... Mars," I said after moment of silence and looked up at him.

Astral smiled and kissed me softly. "I do like Mars," he murmured against my lips.

"Yeah? I couldn't tell."

"Oh really?" He pushed me on my back and hovered above me, smirking down at me. Then his eyes wandered, and his hand ran over my chest. "I'm obsessed with Mars."

I wanted to say I loved him. I wanted to, so badly. I had already said it once and he didn't hear me, but it had taken so much courage.

"You know when you blush, it doesn't just stay in your face. It spreads to your chest and it's really cute." He lowered himself and kissed one of those red splotches that had betrayed me. I couldn't help but lift up a little, just to get closer his mouth.

My stomach decided it was time to ruin our moment by loudly growling. Astral burst out laughing and plopped down on his back, running his hands over his face.

"I guess it's time for breakfast then." He spread his fingers so he could peak at me.

"I might be a tad peckish," I said and bit down on my lip.

"There's a whole thunderstorm hiding in there." Astral turned back on his side and put his hand on my belly, wearing a mischievous smile.

"So, food?" I tried to put on my most winning smile. It only made Astral laugh though he relented.

We found Zeke in the food hall of the inn. It looked like she had already eaten and was now face-deep in a book.

"Good morning," she murmured. It looked like an actual battle to tear her eyes off the pages. But she did, revealing those dark brown eyes hiding under thick lashes.

"Hey, sleep well?" I asked and joined her by her table.

Astral sat down next to me on the bench across from Zeke, very closely.

"Yes, thank you. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until this morning all refreshed. Don't think I've slept this well since... Ever." She grimaced a bit.

A server came and took our order and quickly disappeared again. I hoped they were fast with servings here, because I was starving.

"Did you?" Zeke asked and smiled very sweetly at me.

"Mars didn't get much sleep," Astral interjected and smirked at me.

Heat spread from the base of my neck and slowly moved up to my face.

Zeke pressed her lips together and arched her brows a little. "You're very close, huh." It didn't sound much like a question.

"I had his cock rammed up my ass last night, so you could say that." Astral shrugged a shoulder.

I was sure my entire body turned bright red. I buried my face in my hands, wanting to escape this. I hated when Astral got like this. He'd always say something shocking because he was feeling insecure. Apparently, Zeke made him insecure, and I couldn't figure out why.

"You know, the only person you're making uncomfortable here is Mars. Maybe think about that when you lash out." Zeke rose from the table and grabbed her book. "I'll be in my room, Mars, if you wanna spend some time together later."

I removed my hands from my face and nodded, trying to plaster on a smile for her. Astral snorted very condescendingly and rolled his eyes. Zeke didn't say anything to that and left us to eat.

"Why do you have to be like this?" I asked, looking down at the table.

"What? It's not like I lied." He shrugged. I felt the movement against my arm, but I was determined to look at the table.

"But you know it makes me uncomfortable."

"Why? Are you ashamed of what we did?"

I glanced up at him. "No, but you don't have to share what we do in private with other people, Astral, it shouldn't be that hard to understand."

He chewed on his lip. "I'm not ashamed."

"It's not about shame!" I exclaimed and rose to my feet. "It's about you doing everything you can to make other people uncomfortable and it's hurting me every time, and I'm so done with it!"

I took a couple of steps back, getting ready to storm off, but Astral grabbed my hand.

"Where are you going? The food will be here in a minute..."

"I lost my appetite." I pulled my hand out of his and walked out of the inn. I needed a damn break from him right now.

Out on the street I regretted my dramatic exit, but at the same time, Astral needed to be put in his place. He didn't have to be so crass, especially not to someone like Zeke who had just had her whole world turned upside down. It was his lack of empathy for anyone but me that bothered me. I wanted him to be a better person. I wanted him to be a lot less hostile. I knew it was deeply rooted within him to hurt others before they hurt him – it was a form of protection for him and only I had been let in. But it was too much for me to carry all on my own.

I also knew it was unfair to ask him to change something that essentially didn't have anything to do with me. And I felt controlling when I tried to get him to be better. It was his choice, and he was a grown man now. If he wanted to change, he needed to do it on his own.

I wanted to find breakfast elsewhere. I could smell freshly baked bread and my stomach growled in longing to be filled.

I followed my nose to a small bakery and entered. Every house on this street was connected, some only separated by small alleyways. It seemed like one mind had designed the whole city with the same grey stones to build them and splashing colour with the red roofs.

Inside the bakery it looked cosy. Hardwood countertop split the room in half, keeping the customers away from the pastries that took up every inch of shelf-space. I was in awe by the sheer amount of food. I had never seen so much in one place in my life before.

"Can I help you?" a short and very round man asked from behind the counter. I hadn't even noticed him as my attention was immediately drawn to colourful cakes.

"Yes, I'd like to try one of those green ones?" I said and pointed at a bright green cake.

"Three pierced pieces," the man grunted.

I looked through my pockets, finding the small leather pouch. I dug through it, finding the small octagonal coins. They were intricately ornated with roses.

When I was a child, I remembered they were introduced as 'rose coins' but people quickly took to calling them pierced pieces instead, due to the fact that there was a round hole in the middle. Now it was only the aristocrats who called the coins 'rose coins' as they wanted to honour the government's decisions. It was said that all they wanted to honour were their friendships with powerful people and that the government officials had a strong hatred towards anyone who'd dare to call their beloved coin by anything but the official name.

I handed the man the coins and got my pastry in a brown paper bag. I exited the bakery and decided to look around the town while eating. It was a nice day and while the soldiers on every cobble-stoned corner were eyeing me, I didn't pay them no mind. I put on my sunglasses and made it to an opening in the long street. A town square spread out the houses in a circle, before joining them on the other side of the square. A statue stood in the middle. I didn't recognise the person it was supposed to depict but it was a very beautiful-looking man with pink and green cloth draped around him. He stood on a large marble circle and it looked like a good spot to sit in the shade, his cloth created. I sat down and ate the rest of my cake, watching the people of this city walk in between the stalls, listened to half conversations of the passersby, and watched kids play with a leather ball on the cobble-stones.

It seemed like a nice town. The people didn't seem to notice the oppressive presence of the soldiers. Maybe it was just me who thought their presence was oppressive.

"Get up," someone barked from the right.

I turned my head at looked straight up into the shiny buttons of one of the soldiers. I immediately shot up dropping the paper bag on the ground.

"You will have to follow us," the soldier said.

"I-I-" I stuttered.

The soldier grabbed my arm, hard. My skin burned under his fingers already.

"Loitering and sitting on the holy statue is illegal. You'll have to come with us."

"B-but I did-"

"Are you resisting?"

"N-no I-" I tried to get loose but his hold on me tightened. I couldn't get loose. My heart was beating so hard, I was getting nauseous. I was sure it was about to beat itself out through my throat.

I heard footsteps behind me and I tried to get loose one more time.

And that's where it all turned black.