Remus was having a fitful dream when the bedroom door creaked open and Lily slipped into the dark room. She was carrying a paper plate with a big slice of Sirius's birthday cake on it, two forks clutched in her hand. She crawled across the bed and knelt on the blankets beside Remus, shaking his shoulder gently. "Remus," she whispered, "Birthday cake. It's chocolate."

Remus woke with a bit of a start, snorting air in through his nose in surprise, staring up at Lily as she loomed over him. He blinked up at her silhouette, the platter of cake balanced in her palm. She smiled and he felt guilty all over again. What if it had been Lily that had accidentally gotten the tea? "I don't deserve cake," he muttered.

"You do deserve cake," Lily answered. "C'mon. Dora made it. And it's chocolate."

When he didn't move in response, Lily took one of the forks, speared off a bite, and held it out to him. He stared at it for a long moment, then begrudgingly opened his mouth and she pushed it in. "Mmm, cake," she said, smiling.

"Mmm, cake," he echoed her halfheartedly, chewing the mouthful she'd stuffed him with.

Lily smiled, despite the tension. "Remus honey, it's going to be okay. I know you're worried and upset --"

"To say the least," Remus murmured around the cake.

"It was an honest mistake, though, and we're going to help him --"

"If you call it help."

Lily stared into Remus's eyes. "Your furry little problem hasn't stopped you from having a wonderful life, has it? Or are you inherently unhappy and just not telling us?"

Remus said, "I've been blessed with friends that understand. Friends that help me..."

"And you think we won't help Spencer the same way that we've helped you?"

"What about his family? What about Lula?"

Lily sighed, "We'll figure it out. But even if those things go away... he won't be alone, or uncared for, or unloved. We'll take Spencer in as one of our own the same as we've done for you."

Remus sat up and he hugged his knees. "Yeah?" He asked as he reached for the fork Lily was holding and she held the plate out closer to him so he could cut off a piece of the cake.

"Of course," Lily answered. "You know how we feel about werewolves and misfits around here. We collect them. Rather proudly."

Remus half smiled as he scooped a bit of cake and chewed it thoughtfully. He really couldn't say no to chocolate.

"I was thinking about what you were saying last full moon, when you were talking about the werewolves Dumbledore wanted you to work with, and how you felt like it was almost your responsibility to help them... Maybe Spencer is a part of that."

Remus looked up as he speared another bite of cake. "I still feel bad he doesn't have a choice in the matter."

"You didn't either," Lily pointed out, "No one who gets sick has a choice in the matter. Whether you attribute those challenges to fate or God or nature - whatever way you want to say it - the matter is that things come into our lives and it's less about keeping those hard things out and more about growing and learning how we will move through them, how we'll respond in the hard times, how we get through them. Do we become cold and heartless or do we push through and leave the situation a better version of ourselves than we were when we entered into it?"

Remus chewed as she spoke. His green eyes were so pale they were nearly grey - the palest she'd seen them in a very long time... It was as though the color was draining out the way his hope seemed to have done in the last couple of days. She put a palm on his knee. "I believe, Remus, that you will come through this and your good heart will be proven once again. Because you do have a good heart, Remus, whatever you may feel like at times. You doubt yourself but not one of the rest of us have ever doubted you. I could never doubt you." She smiled.

"Thanks Lily," Remus said. He took another bite of cake, rubbing his ankle with one hand as he worked the fork with the other, and when he'd finished chewing, he said, "Lily, I'm truly grateful for you being my friend. There's been so many times when you've been there for me... and I hope you know that I appreciate you."

Lily smiled. She cut the last bit of cake into two pieces, took one and pushed the other to Remus's side of the plate. "I love you Remus Lupin," she said, "And I'll always be there for you."

"I love you too," Remus said.

Lily folded up the paper plate as he took the last bite. "Now," she said, "Are you ready to come out and wish your husband a happy birthday?"

Remus turned the fork over in his hand. He looked up at Lily through the curls that fell over his forehead. "You're sure none of you will think differently of me for --" he stopped.

"I promise," Lily said.

James magicked Peter into his bed at the end of the second movie, for which Remus had come and joined them in watching. Lily tucked the blanket in around him gently, stroked his hair, and led the way back to the living room to say good night to the dogs. Sirius was curled into Remus's side, clinging onto his arm and pressing his face sleepily against Remus's shoulder. He was half asleep and hugging the envelope, with James and Lily's letter and the tickets inside, to his chest.

"Happy Birthday, mate," James said, patting his friend's leg. Sirius half kicked and groaned, and Lily bent over the couch and kissed his forehead, which was much better received.

"You're alright, Remus?" Lily whispered.

Remus nodded, "Thank you again for being there for me."

Lily ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead, too.

They went home then using the floo network and James went upstairs to check on his mother while Lily made some tea for the pair of them to share. When James came back downstairs they sat on the couch and put their feet up, James's legs sandwiching Lily between as she lay across him, her head against his chest and his hands stroking her hair. The telly flashed a late night program that neither of them were paying much attention to.

"Evans?" James said after a time.

"Hmm?"

"What is your greatest fear?"

She looked up at him. "Where is this coming from?" she asked. He didn't feel anxious - she didn't think he did, anyway, and she worried the love magic between them might not be as strongly connected as she really hoped of it to be.

"When we were kids, it was always Remus's greatest fear to bite one of his friends," James explained. "And now --" James let the thought hang. After a pause of the implication looming there between them, he continued, "I can't imagine what it would be like holding onto a greatest fear for so long and then seeing it realized."

Lily shifted his gaze away, her fingers digging into his shirt, holding him tighter. "I fear letting people I love down, I suppose. Not loving them enough, or in a way that they doubt how much I love them. I fear having to choose between the people I love."

"How do you mean?"

Lily shivered, "Like, you know that old riddle people ask, the one about if you're in a boat and your mum and your dad fall out who are you going to save? You can only save one?"

James drew a sharp breath.

"I cried myself to sleep over that question before," she whispered, "When I was little and too small to realize it was rhetorical. I thought I needed to be prepared to answer that, that I needed to really know in case it ever happened for real."

"You don't," James said.

"But my greatest fear is that I would."

James's arms tightened around her protectively. "If it's ever me or somebody else... pick the other person, Evans."

"But what would I ever do without you?" she asked quietly.

James said, "I couldn't live knowing I was the reason the other person was gone."

They lay in silence for some time, Lily's body rising and falling with James's rhythmic breathing. Her arms felt cold from the thought of James and Sirius and Peter and Remus floundering in a sea, as though she could feel the cold wind blowing over the surface, even as she lay safe in his arms.

"What is yours?" she asked after a time, realizing he hadn't said.

He stared at the ceiling, and tinned laughs from the telly echoed out at them, his thumb moving over the rising goosebumps on her arm. "Not being able to save you from yours," he whispered.

"Sirius," Remus whispered into his husband's ear after the Potters had left.

Sirius snuggled harder into his arm.

"Sirius, wake up," he tried.

No reaction.

"Don't you want your birthday present from me?" Remus asked.

One eye opened on Sirius, and his muffled voice asked, "You have a present for me?" The smirk tinged his tone.

"I do," Remus said.

Sirius grinned, "I have a guess what it might be." His palm slid over Remus's thigh, but Remus caught his hand before it got anywhere, holding him stationary.

"Dirty dog."

"But that's what I want?" Sirius pouted.

"Well I got you something else."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Remus said. "Or I made it rather."

"Made it?"

Remus slid out from under Sirius and gave him the sign for one moment, then hurried from the room. A moment later he was back, holding his sketchbook, and he flipped through a moment before tearing out a sheet. He carefully closed the sketchbook and put on one of the book shelves before carrying the sheet over to the couch, where Sirius was waiting.

"Now don't laugh," Remus said in a warning tone.

"I would never," Sirius answered solemnly.

Remus stared down at the sheet in his hand, still holding it so Sirius couldn't see. "I wanted to give you something really special, but I don't have a lot of money for things like tickets to see Queen or anything, really,  so even though my heart wants to give you things like that, I just don't have it to give."

"I only want you, Moony," Sirius replied.

"Yes well," Remus flushed, "You've already got me. Anyway, I was thinking about your gift to me on my birthday... my tattoo." Sirius's hand pressed to his shoulder, where the tattoo of Remus's freckles lay across his collar bone. "And I thought of how much comfort it brought me that you noticed something like that and knew how much it would mean to me that you had."

Sirius smiled, and Remus smiled, too.

Remus turned the drawing around and Sirius's smile widened. 

Remus had drawn the square in the park across the road, the fountain and the sun reflecting on the surface of the water... and the pigeons that lived in the park all taking flight, their wings spread wide as they flew up from the detailed stone pathway upon which stood a shaggy black dog - Snuffles - barking with his tongue lolling out to one side. Remus had spent a good deal of time with pastels and colored pencils to bring the image alive with dimensions and details so perfect that Sirius could nearly hear the cry of the birds and smell the grass. He could feel the attention paid to every stripe of hair in the detail of the dog - whose black hair was actually made up of a myriad of colors ranging from purple to maroon and so many shades of grey that they all added up to the richest black, exactly the color of Sirius's hair and Snuffle's fur. Even the pigeon eyes had little flecks of catch-light details in them.

Sirius took the sheet as Remus held it out to him, and he stared at it, eyes feasting on the strokes of the pencil lines. "This is amazing, Moony," he breathed, excited. He looked up at Remus, eyes sparkling, "I can feel it. I can feel the freedom."

Remus smiled, "I thought it might help when you feel trapped and heavy... to help you remember the light and freedom."

Sirius put the picture down on the coffee table and pulled Remus into him. "It's brilliant, Moony. You're the most brilliant artist I've ever known and I love it. I love you." 

"I love you, too," Remus replied. He ran his fingers over Sirius's cheek, staring into his eyes. "I'm so very glad you were born."

Sirius smiled, "You make me glad I was born as well," he said.

Remus leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Sirius's mouth. Sirius kissed him back with as much hunger as Remus had for him and for a moment, the rest of the entire world fell away completely. For a moment, none of the anxiety and worry and pain existed, only Sirius and Remus and one another's touch. Remus let himself go as he devoured Sirius's love, which radiated from him like an iridescence.

At last, Remus had to draw back, and he stared into Sirius's eyes as they parted, which gleamed, begging Remus to bring himself back into the kiss.

"Happy Birthday, love," Remus whispered.

Sirius smiled, "It'll be all the happier if you bring your mouth back here," Sirius replied, and he pulled Remus back into the kiss.