Manik's pov

Ouch!!

I looked ever dramatic Smitha beside me, she and her actions need to be banned sooner is my thoughts. I rolled my eyes as I pulled out the spatula from her hand. So, that I complete cooking, which she was not in the mood to do.

And the thing is today is weekend, which meant my treat or cooking for Smitha. It's like mandatory from the day she entered my life, in a great way. This is my way to make her happy from years. Because my thanks never succeed what she has done to me.

Manik baani kya? She peeped into the pan, where I gave murderous look to her.

Nae baana hai? kaccha kane hai tho batha, eshe plate mai nikalke dunga? I asked her pressing my own waist. She gave sly smile in return.

Phirse shuru hogaya en donoka. Ashwini said to herself by my other side, who was cutting some fruits for fruit salad. But we both didn't mind. Not very new to us.

Mera hogaya. I'm setting table outside. And please zaldi karna. And I don't want other banter in my kitchen. Am I clear to you both? She warned us, we nodded our head like obedient students.

Neyonika aunty kaha hai? She asked me as soon as Ashwini aunty left.

She went to walk with dad. I said as I added red chili powder and salt to the pan.

Interesting. Bacche kaha hai? kohi dekai ne dere hai? she asked as she munched some raw vegetables. 

Sab Abhay ke room mai hai. I answered her. She nodded her head knowingly.

Aur baki sab? She questioned me. I gave her brief look. She knows its annoying.

Jo puchna ayye hai? voh puch le? and her habit of talking gol never stopping.

Nandini kaha hai? First questioned, she wanted to ask. That's what was in her mind.

Sanskar aur Vishwas ke sath bahar beti hai. I let her be. I said her, where she wiped sweat from my forehead. As I showed sweat to her. Don't you dare to think she is a sweet sister? 

What's her reaction? She asked me. Out of all, she wanted to ask me this.

Unexpected reaction. I said remembering our moment a few minutes back.

And what's so unexpected. She countered back.

She slapped me. I said her plainly. She looked dumbfounded as she started laughing loudly. Touching my printed left cheek often. It irritates the shit out of you.

She is something, Man. She giggled under her breath as I glared her to shut up. As she examined Nandini's handprint on my cheeks. 

As if I don't know.  I said as a matter of fact. Continued to stir chole batture. Which she asked me to prepare. Where I kept my mouth shut I don't want to talk about anything, and she knows it well but still.

Manik. Stop. This. Lets. Talk. For. Once. 

She switched off the gas, as she made me turn her side. She was damn serious. I was not really startled because this was what I expected from her. She is really not Nandini, who gives me a surprise by her each reaction. I can really predict my cherry better than my Jaanu.

I don't want to talk about anything, Cherry. I'm stubborn to open my mouth, I'll always be.

Manik, Ignoring or shutting about the matter is not solution always. You should know this, by now. She referred my life, She won half battle to open my mouth. But I just turned another way. As I poured entire thing in the big bowl, where she is waiting for me like a stubborn girl again.

Look Cherry, I know I should talk but I'm really done for the day. It's really too much for me. Please understand. I sighed helplessly and I was badly irritated, the reason is still unknown to me. I felt every emotion in me. But I don't know how to put it out neither I want to. I feel shiver just remembering my past. I don't want to feel anything again. I really don't. Call me a coward, which I'm right now. Because I always ran away from my feelings. I do.

Okay. Fine. She said with a disappointment. But she knew it's really too much for me to handle. 

But remember I'm always there for you. She side hugged me, I could only smile seeing assurance in her eyes. 

Of course. I kissed her forehead as we both picked up remaining bowls to the dining table to set things for dinner. In my patio, as Ashwini aunty wanted to make environment lighter to all. As everyone's mind wasn't in the good state, I agreed with her words. And asked my butlers to fit a whole dining table in open space of palace in my backyard. Which is set to make others mood lighter.

Kaka, baccho ko bulauo. Ashwini aunty gave the command to him, while he left nodding his head, as I slumped into my chair grabbing an apple for my empty stomach. Where Smitha sat beside me taking her baby in her arms, which was in the crib next to her. While I started playing with the baby, as Smitha and aunty were taking lead to call everyone for dinner.

Aww, baby apple kayagi thu? I asked her cutely where she giggled at me in return, where Neyo mom slapped my hands, as they reached to feed the baby.

Manik, what's wrong with you? ethna choti bacchi ko apple kila raha hai? She pulled an apple from my hands I pouted with a baby girl. As she snatched our apple. 

Mamma, apple hai woh. I argued with her. She glared in return. But how can I let go my argument?

It's good for baby's health. I added, hoping she will return back our apple. But she didn't. Instead gave me warning glare to shut up.

Apke teacher ne nai sikaya apko, an apple for a day keeps Sanskar away. I said to her in toddler way, she smacked right on my head at my innovations. Where I could here giggle from rest, who are now sitting at the dining table, and the only person looked like he gonna do a murder.

Aur kohi innovations nae karne hai, tuje? I heard from Sanskar, who right next to me, I gave him grin of mischief. I so love to irritate shit of that guy. Trust me on that. Well, it sounds great to call him sala, in the real sense now. Wow! I'm loving it that word after my kid's name.

Nae. I said to him, where Abhay sat on my lap, which surprised me a lot, but I cope up as I pulled him more into my lap, where Nandini sat right next to me, and Avni is busy gossiping with her grandfather, I mean Rahul uncle, who is listening to her each word. She mostly said about David, her friend in London. I just smiled at them. And then I looked Nandini who is feeding food to Abhay with her hands. 

Waise, dad bohuth naraz hai tujse. I heard a mean whisper from my left side. I gave look to him, who is feeding food to Swara, who is one hell tantrum queen when it comes to food. Pregnancy is just cherry above it.

Aur voh kyu? I suppressed my fear inside, and I questioned him normally. I so knew he is going to make fun of my fear. And the reason is well known, I married his daughter, unknown to him. You can't just be happy about it, being a father. Can you be? Well, if I was in his place, I would've dug the grave already to the boy. 

Question puch rahi ho, jab pura answer malum hai. He raised his eyebrow with a smirk of evilness. I felt hitting him. But kya karu dosth hai meri. Uparse sala bhi bangaya hai.

You know right, I can kill you for scaring me. I gritted my teeth at him, where I felt my own hands sweaty. Uff, I don't want to accept but the truth is I'm really scared about it. Though he is cool uncle, you can't just forget he is a very possessive daddy equally. Trust me on that, he can even kill me, If I make his daughter cry. Currently, my situation is so not good. Having two possessive father-in-laws and two crazy mommas I mean mother-in-law. And mean sala, is not very good combination according to me. 

Well, I'm happy with the news that I made you scared. I'm feeling delighted you know. He said with winning grin, I so want to wipe it.

Dek lunga tuje. I gritted my teeth. Yet concentrated on my plate, only to get shocked. People can't do this to me. Can they? honestly, they have done it.

What the hell is this? I lifted my plate in air, asking two stupid women's, who filled my plates only with raw vegetables and some sprouts, here and there green leaves. Totally a diet food for dying patient, which I'm definitely not.

That's your food, Mr. Malhotra. I certainly gaped at Ashwini aunty. She can't do this to cute sa baccha. Can she? But she did it. Oh! now. They started again for god sake. I want to go back to our home in Mumbai now. Warna ye log muje nae chodenge.

You must be kidding me, Aunty. Sabko tasty kana. Aur muje nae? I questioned her, I was actually planning to eat till my throat. And the fuck happened with me. I ended up with this veggies and soup kinda soup. Yewww...

Chup chap kale Manik. I was again warned. I made a crying face. Such unfair thing in life shouldn't happen. 

I won't. At least serve me what I prepared. Baki sab tum log kalo. I tried again. But Smitha pulled the dish in her way. Disaster. I'm done now. 

No means No. Everyone shouted in fun way. I did the best. I made Abhay sit in my chair. I walked out. Let them screw whatever they want. I lead my life without food, Another day doesn't make a change to me. The food on my plate reminds me of my worst days. My days in the hospital. That sick moment. Where I feel so weak. I feel lonely. That tasteless food. Those hopeless days. Everything seems dark to me. 

I picked up my guitar, left the palace. I have better places in my life. If I don't get food here. I have places to go. And that's not their mistake too. I was strictly said not eat spicy food because I'm under medication. But you can't help me. When I'm willing to eat they won't give what I want. Urghh.

I pulled out my bike from my garage. As I left the palace in jet speed. I was totally annoyed and hurt at the same time. I wanted my time alone. It is just an excuse, to run away from everyone. Like always.  

I rode my bike an hour in deep valleys. No one knows me here. Here I'm just a Manik, who came here to work for his daily bread, who doesn't have anyone. He is not an Emperor of an Empire. But ordinary man, who works as a waiter in this little dabba, years back. Even today people don't know who am I. The best place, where I hid, when my whole family was searching me the whole earth. When my mom died. I didn't care them because none cared me when I needed them.

Arey, thu. I heard the owner of the dabba. I made my hair little messy. And make sure I looked little shabby. Not a billionaire by my look. Here even today, I'm the same boy, who came for food. Who lost everyone.

Hain. Main Manik. I said him, he gave pointed look. But opening his arms to me with warmness, I feel happy whenever he does that. I hugged him. This is the place, someone hugged me when I wanted someone to hug me at night, I had rough days that time. I ran over out of all place to this place just because I don't want someone to find out and hurt me more, which I already was. I wanted peace, this place has always given myself to me. Maybe those days weren't good to remember. It is the best place, I could see to calm my nerves.

Kaisa hai thu? Aur kaha kaam kara hai? Vaha tera Malik achse kyal raktha haina tera? He questioned me tenderly, never in my life my father asked me like this. Why weren't you sweet to me once, Raj Malhotra? Why? Out of all men in the world, everyone can be the best father to me except you I guess so.

Kaka, mai bilkul tek hu. Aur mera Malik acchse kyal raktha hai mera. I said him a lie again, he nodded at me, as he made me sit on one of the charpai. Ordering some food for me, without even asking me. I smiled at him. Didn't I say I have better places to go if I want food? 

We chatted for a little while, about old times, as I left that place with a full stomach,  Yes, I never want him to know who I'm. Though I own every part of that valley. I don't want him to know that, I'm the owner of that place because I want him to treat me the way I saw him for the first time, who offered me work and shelter and food when I didn't have anything. That welcoming arms of his what I don't want to miss when he gets to know, who I'm, then everything will be changed between us. But I want to cherish it the way it is. 

Somethings are meant to keep the way it is.

You all are thinking how many hid out I have. The thing is I wanted to run away from my reality of life. That was my near demon, who used to laugh at my misery badly. I still remember the day. When hopes can die in a blink.

Flashback

I want you to sign this papers. Maa(Devika) threw papers on Mukti's face,  as I sat on the couch without a word from my mouth. While dad was beside Maa, he was raging like a bull. They both looked helpless seeing my condition. Nothing is changed. I didn't speak a word with any. I was in the same place, in which I was sitting all day. They tried all ways to make me speak or react. But I was completely blank. Where I could hear someone laughing at my loses inside me. It is none other me only. The failure and my hopeless hope were laughing at my own mistakes and sins. And I, I couldn't do anything for same.

And why do you think I'll sign that damn papers? Mukthi showed her arrogance. Crossing her legs against me. She gave pity look to me with an evil smirk, which didn't do anything to me. Because it was nothing in front of my own self-distraction. I looked at her blankly. My emotions were so dead. Love is the wrong thing which happened to me, I guess. I never meant to be loved or to love. I should've known it. If I had learned it before, this day would've not come for me. 

And what makes you think I'll take your shit like your dad? My Maa questioned like a boss by crossing her legs and not forget her trademark smirk. She had damn attitude, admit it or not, she is one kind of women. Every man wishes for. And why the hell my dad ditched such a beautiful lady, I have no idea. whatever it is he will regret it for sure, for not choosing her.  Where my dad gave her unbelievable look to her, she just shrugged it. Trust me, I love that small banter of them, like any other child. I wish I had a normal family. I wish I had my parents who love me lot. In all this, it is just my wish. Which will never come true. Is also true. Sooner or later I should accept. Nothing can be fulfilled. 

And what makes you think I'll sign that papers? Mukthi questioned her furiously. I so knew it, she is playing with wrong women again.

This makes me think that. Maa said with a lopsided smile, as she threw many photographs on the coffee table. At the moment I felt she is a true sadist. But dealing with Mukthi needs that sadism than any stupid emotion like mine. A loser who doesn't know how to deal with such people. I'm a hopeless guy.

what the hell? She screamed in horror, as she collected all photo and started seeing them with saucers out of her sockets. Fear is all written on her face. There wasn't pinch of regret in her eyes. Didn't I meant anything to her, was all love she showed was, just a fake. I have no idea. Maybe I was too blind to see the truth. The reality was slapping harder on me to believe it. As I wanted to cry my guts but nothing came out. I was just blank. Trying to face reality which my parents were showing often. And when they became the reality of my life. I couldn't take it. I was badly broken. More than repair. As If someone threw me in middle of ocean asked me to find out my way to shore, when I'm already drowning. That was my moment. When my parents left my hands, on a very bad note of my life. They were the last option I had. I thought they won't leave my hand. But they did. Like always they did. They were one mean parent if you ask me.

The hell hasn't started baby. If I start there won't be any stop at all. She warned her back. All I saw fear in Mukti's eyes. Where my dad was just hurt towards his daughter. Totally ashamed of her. The one he loved so much, pampered like hell, kept her like a princess. She showed him how does it feel betrayal to him.

In this matter, I didn't feel pity for him. I really don't. Because what he did I also did the same. I'm slaying in the same boat like him. I could feel his pain. And my reaction is absolutely zero to him. I don't know why I couldn't feel anything. Nor anyone' pleading to talk. I was an absolutely lifeless body, who is still breathing. And reasons are still unknown to me.

You can't do this to me. She screamed, trying to reach out maa in rage to hurt her before she does. She is already on the floor. All thanks to my dad. Who slapped straight on her face.

Dare you come near my wife. The warning could give chill downs anyone spine. His voice had something, something for my mom, which I couldn't figure out. But one thing I was sure. She is someone special to him. Lucky she again.

Bohuth natak seliya maine tumara, I was quiet till now. 

But you've crossed all limits. 

You don't deserve to be free.

You really don't.

 Mai abhi police ko phone kartha hu. 

He pulled out the phone from his pockets without any mercy on his own daughter, call him cruel father, he is but this time, he had a valid reason to be called good human for his ethics above his fatherly emotions towards his loving daughter. Where mom immediately snatched the phone from him. She showed her eyes. They had small eye talk, which looked completely alien to me. They looked perfect couple. They had everything one couple should've in between them. If my life was different with my parents and me. Trust me, I would've admired my parents for their couple goal. They would've been my inspiration. They had their own understanding in their eyes. It felt so unreal with my father. But reality looked pleasing to me. Somewhere I wanted my parents for myself. Only for myself.

I'll sign the papers. We all heard from Mukthi, who stood with help of pillar, she looked worried and anxious. She was determined to get rid from us, she was no more problem to us. Good for us.

Tho lo sign karo. Aur dafa hoja mera bete ke zindagi se. 

Aur kabi vapas ayye, kohi chaal chalane ke liye. 

Trust me, Bagvan bhi nae bachayega tuje. 

She gave warning as she made Mukthi sign all the papers, which gave me my life back. I was no more servant of her. My music was no more servant of any, which made me relief. I got my Music back. I got it. But I couldn't feel happiness anywhere near me. Why? I don't know.

That day my parents didn't let go Mukthi easily, they put her behind bars for making me fool to sign those papers, which she made me sign in the airport. My mom isn't a fool to let go that girl, like me. But what I saw that day in Mukti's eyes was a revenge for me. I knew she will come and ruin my future too. Which I cared less. She screamed on top to ruin me again. But I just smiled in return. There isn't anything she could ruin more in my life. Except with my breathing. Which I don't wish anymore.

I walked aimless outside palace. Where my parents spent their time in little banter, which they tried me to get involved. They looked absolute cute. But I showed none response to them, which made them sad. They tried and tried to great level, but they couldn't able to give what I needed the most. I slumped at the lake all tired. All I thought about Nandini, no one else. I was fucking worried about her, she was nowhere to be found. Even my parents and Rahul uncle's family was finding her. Everyone came up with was empty hands. I was totally worried about her condition. She is damn pregnant with my baby. And here I'm feeling helpless as I'm one of the reasons for her misery in such a state. What an all I planned and what and all happened. Uff. 

If God really is there please help her and keep her safe with my baby is all I prayed. For the first time. Sitting in front of a small temple in the palace, in which my mom was doing her pooja. I never prayed for anything in the world. Keep her safe and secure wherever she is. I bowed my head in front of Him.

She will be fine, Manu. I heard from my mother. 

I hope so. I said as I walked along with her to the hospital as dad left somewhere in hurry, which I guess is because of some call. I didn't counter him. I let him go. But what captured my heart was the last bye of his to my mom. He was not really willing to go. But he had to go. I could feel how much they loved each other. I was not that blind to see what they had. He took all his time to spend with her, which I never saw with Neyonika mom. He made her last days memorable to her, is all I could say. I wish their togetherness forever.

The way he kissed her is something, I never expected but something said me, they were really meant for each other. As if they were each other souls. I was really impressed by their love. Somewhere I felt little happy for them. 

My dad bid a bye to her with a heavy heart, I could see tears in his eyes, while she kissed his cheeks bide him a bye with her most beautiful smile. I was just leaning to the pillar looking at them. If I was normal I would've cried seeing such goodbye scene. But something inside me was adamant not to give whom I'm. 

Take care of her, Manu. He said before driving out the arena. If I didn't expect a take care of myself from him will be a lie. But nothing came from him for me again. I just nodded in disbelief. I'm so hopeless to expect anything from him again.

## 

That day was her birthday. She is just replica of Nandini in this matter. She is crazy about her birthday. My dad had filled the whole room of her's with gifts only. I was surprised seeing it. But when I heard him wishing her at 12, my surprise turned to happiness. My parents had goals truly. 

I did everything that can make my mother happy. We went on a bicycle ride, of course, I rode it and she sat behind me. We ate junk food without limit. Did I mention, my mom is one horrible cook. She doesn't know the difference between sugar and salt. I was far better than her. I asked for simple tea, where she smiled sheepishly while serving same. And all I drank was salt tea. Thank God, she didn't taste it. Warna another round of horrible cooking recipe would've found a way to my stomach. And later I got to know, that's how my dad has pampered her. He never let her cook in fear that she will get hurt while cooking. I just smiled listening to it. My dad was unbelievable Romeo, one could find.

I prepared a cake for her, she cut the cake like any small little girl, who had so much happiness of cutting the cake. I was damn amused. Are, birthday's are really this amusing and happy, I never knew it. But I was happy that she was smiling all while. And what happiness added more in my presence for her birthday. 

Her way is different, she is one pataka, who used to comment on each handsome boy she saw. I was totally startled at one second. But when she laughed at my face. I felt I was a fool. But ended up smiling at last with her. All she tried was to make me smile, she did with real good extent. I enjoyed with her. I wanted to cherish more moments with her. My smile didn't die until her happiness brightened my day. It was one such best day of my life. Where I enjoyed like any kid. My laughter echoed the whole mansion. My silly banter lasted till my wish got fulfilled. We went to fair, which she wished to go. In all this, I made memories with her for one last time. Which I never knew was my last moments with her until reality hit me hard.

We ran and played with all kids in her hospital. All I did that day was for her happiness. For that smile, she used to give me whenever I did something for her happiness. We enjoyed seeing the movie and danced crazily in middle of the street without caring who she was. who I was. 

I'm so happy today, Manu. She said breathing heavily. I just giggled at her as she ate one more golgappa. Where she wiped my tears in aww. 

Thank God, warna apke pati muje nae chodenge. I said to her, while she gulped one more. I looked her in horror. While she munched big mirchi without a care. 

Hain. Kyu ki mera Pati mujse bohuth pyaar karthe hai. She said proudly with a beautiful smile. I just nodded head giving a not interested look.

Baas hogaya aaj ke liye. I pulled plate from her as she ordered one more golgappa plate from the vendor as I paid him, where we both walked to the hospital again as she wanted to spend her last few minutes of her birthday with her dear ones like always. I approved as I followed her, as she drove the car to the hospital in death speed. Where my heart came to my mouth in fear. She is one dangerous woman with the car, trust me on that.

She talked about best friend endlessly. In fact, she was waiting for her the whole day but none showed up. My mom was very sad about it but she forgot being with me and Swara. We spent very good time. Which is the best memory of my life? And not to forget ornaments which my mom handover me for Nandini shocking me, but she was adamant at me to give that to Nandini, which I could only say yes. Feeling helpless, not being able to say her this will be just a waste and my Jaanu won't be coming back ever. She won't. 

So, Manik? She started walking backward, I sighed. 

Kya hai maa? I asked her as she leads me to some auditorium, which looked beautiful with perfect interiors and not forgets piano design outside. As if it is newly built. I instantly fell in love with it.

What do you think about Nandini? She asked me with a smile.

What should I think? I returned her a question back to my blank voice. I don't know whether I should think about her or not. Because maybe my father will put barrier about it too. Or he can sue me too. No, he will kill me.

You've become hopeless, Manu. She voiced out. I just smiled at the answer.

Say something new, which I'm not aware of. I said with a smile, keeping everything behind my small smile. 

I promise. I'll get her back to you one day, Manu. I promise. I really do. She said with some genuinely. I felt like believing her. But I didn't. My trust on trust was broken into pieces. Beyond repair. I won't be trusting on anything or anyone again. Never ever. 

Promises are meant to be broken. I said to her.

What If I never break your promises. Like any other again? She asked me with hope.

She won't ever come back. She won't again for me. I know her this much. I said remembering her words. And she won't forgive me ever for what I did to her. For what she believed. She won't ever come back.

What If I still bring her back? she asked with a frown. It was a challenge to her. But for me, it was no challenge. But a past which I don't want to turn back.

Aur dad apke support bilkul nae karne vale hai. He so hates the fact I loved her or the fact I kept her with me. And I know you won't do anything which would less please your husband. So, it's better we leave this talk of ours. Which is just useless. I said to her as I walked away.

Manik Malhotra. I turned back when she screamed in the crowdy corridor. I gave a look at her. As people stared us in aww.

I will bring her back to you. It's My promise. And Devika Malhotra never breaks her promise. And you will find it out one day. I'm sure about it. She was determined by her words. I felt to believe. In fact, some part of me believed what she said. Maybe she will bring back my Nandini, one day for me. I'll wait for that day. I'll.

Let's see mam. I said her.

Manu, If your love is true, she will come back one day. 

And you know what I trust your love towards her, she will come back one day. If not, I make sure I bring back your Jaanu to you. I promise. She kissed my forehead with promise. I hugged her tightly.

Please bring her back. I'll be waiting for her. Please. I hiccuped in her neck as she consoled me in her arms with her words, which I always yarned from childhood.

As I laid her inside one crowdy room(Audi hall), which had decorations, which my dad personally asked to decorate to the servants in the palace. She is so excited seeing everything, that made me smile. As everyone wished her. The smile never left her side. She danced with all kids. While she played with all her kids, who she brought up. I just smiled at them as I played along with them. It was one moment in my life. I forgot myself, every cry. My loses. I was myself. I found myself in that huge crowd of happiness with my mother beside me. She was one reason for my smile. My aim was her smile that's it. I felt I gave her.

Well, this is dedicated to my son. Who made my birthday more memorable. Thank you so much Manu, Love you lots baby. Remember Mama always love you. She said with tears of happiness. I kissed her hairs. As I found Deshmukh's beside me, who smiled looking at her, who is all happy and excited for her birthday, they wished her like you any small kid, making me smile at them. All she gave was her brightest smile. That smile had something. A satisfaction. A fulfillment of happiness in her eyes. Where she exchanged few words with dad before she starts playing her piano, her second love next to dad. Where they talked longer than I expected. Where smile and tears didn't leave her face till she talked to him. I saw every emotion of joy on her face. She was constant. In fact, she had everything she wanted. She can't be less happy about it.

This is for you too, hubby. She said him with a smile as she kept her phone near her. Where all I saw was love in their eyes and words. I wish they stay all happy and loved forever forgetting their problems in past. Is all I wished being a kid.

But!!!

She had one soulful voice, which could melt anyone's heart. Everyone enjoying it as I smiled at her whenever she looked at me over her phone as she sang the song for her husband, which was solely dedicated to him. In all this when I got attached to her, I never knew. When she became so important me. I was not aware of it. Until I saw my last reason for living, leaving me alone too. It was one moment. Everything felt unreal again. Reality slapped right on my face again. This time harder than I thought.

I saw her falling figure, which snatched floor beneath me, I dashed everyone to reach her out as I kept her head on my lap. The fear of losing came again in my system. My panic didn't stop. My hands were shivering like hell. I couldn't able to breathe. It is the moment you feel, your death is easy than losing someone you love.

Please don't leave me. is all I shouted at her, for the first time that smile on her face irked me. It annoyed me. It made me feel I'm losing it again. I looked aunty for help. She was screaming for a stretcher and her medicines.

I have to go, Manu my time has come. I need to leave to get back to you sooner. She said with heavy breathing. All my pleads went to her deaf ears. I was yelling at everyone to save and give her to me back. How important she was to me, I got it at the moment. I was attached to her badly. I couldn't see anything beyond her smile.

You promised me. That you will get my Nandini. You can't just break your promise. Please. I yelled at her helplessly. Fear is all over my face. That is the only thing came up to my mind to stop her.

Esliye tho jaana hai muje. I promise I will come back to you sooner with your Nandini. I promise. Her breathing was abnormal. Everyone was crying but I was stubborn to hell not to cry. Sorry, I had become so poor that even my tears left me. Such a person I was.

No. Please. Don't leave me. I can't survive. Please. I screamed at her with hiccups. But God didn't have mercy on me still. He wanted everything I needed myself. I won't believe you ever again. I won't. I yelled at HIM internally. There is no God in this world. He is not there. He is clear Myth.

Don't worry ethna jaldi nae chodungi tuje. 

Wapas aungi tuje dundthe. Tuje pareshan kar ne ke liye. Ethna asanese nae chodungi tuje.

Aur dubara bolungi. Mama loves you lot baby. Mama loves you. And she won't break her promise. She won't. She whispered to my heart. I held her to my heart. My heart broke again. Yet, I felt no moment in her, when I looked her, everything was gone. She was gone leaving me all alone in this world. I felt like crying all my heart, I felt was drowning in darkness.

Maa. I shook her, as I looked aunty with pleading eyes. My life stood with her words. I looked my dad, who was still on a video call. He held his head and sat in his chair, all he had was tears of pain. He looked broken like never before. I felt my unluckiness just rubbed her too. I wished I never came to their life. I wish I was never part of their life. They would've been much happier the way they deserved. I should've not been part of their life. I should've not.

I'm sorry Manik. Is all I heard. That was one hopeless and helpless moment. I sat like hours holding her on my lap. Looking at her with all my desires. Swara was crying on my shoulder. Where tears of Deshmukh's never ended. Everyone was mourning except me. Who is just looking at her? All happiness is just a myth. All smile is a myth. Every happiness should meet sorrow one day, it's just that I meet more sorrow to get one small happiness, which God snatches away from me always.

I caressed her hair tenderly. You also broke your promise maa. Promises are meant to be broken. You also proved me. My heart whispered to my soul.

I was not in a position to think anything. I was too numb to react. Soul was apart. The one who gave me birth was no more, how should I feel. I had no idea. I feel lonely in darkness. Everything is dark around me. No ray of light again. My hope for hope lost it's meaning today. There is no such word called hope in the world. If it is there, then it just a myth again.

Deshmukh arranged for her funeral. I just followed what they asked me to do. The whole night passed but there was no sign of my dad or her best friend. I called him several times it went answered. I was just looking at the door with a hope. Thinking he will come to see mom, one last time. He didn't show up. But I thought he will come at least for the women he loves. But he made my all thoughts and wishes untrue again. 

Manik, It's time. I heard from aunty, who asked me to start the funeral. But I sat where I was. Waiting for my dad to show up. I really need to tell him. I had become alone again. I wanted him. I wanted to cry in his arms and say, I lost my mother again. But destiny had different plans for me again.

Manik, let's start Raj won't come. Rahul uncle added with teary eyes as he pressed my shoulders to make me believe reality, which I was not ready to believe, and he also really didn't expect this from dad, that he won't show up.

How can you say that? He will come. He will. He loves her so much. And he will come for her. I argued with them, they sighed helplessly at me. But my eyes were glued to the door and my mom, who had become lifeless. I felt an emptiness within me. Unsaid words. Unsaid I love you's. Unsaid wishes, where buried inside me. A wish to have parents for me died slowly inside me. And when that wish choked me that bad I had no idea.

I pulled out the phone to call dad again. It was ringing but he didn't receive the call yet again. When he called back, all I heard was.

Manik for once stop calling me. I'm not coming can't you simply don't understand that thing, You damn it! Is all I heard from another end. I wasn't hurt or broken will be a lie. I just chuckled at my own state and thinking. Aur karo believe sab par. My mind taunted me. My heart just bit its lips to hold the tears of it's.

Shit! Why the hell you expect anything from anyone. Why? Why? Can't you simply understand the reality Manik? Can't you for once think no one cares for you. Can you? My mind yelled at my heart, who just chuckled at my mind sadly. How broken it was I couldn't explain anyone.

Sorry. Woh Mom ka funeral hai. I said with a stammer, his words scared. I was becoming a same little boy, who was scared of his dad. I was no more strong Manik. Sorry I can never be again.

Manik. Listen to me carefully. She is dead. She won't come back But I can't let my sister die. So, do whatever you wish to do. He yelled at me. I couldn't figure out his voice. It was cracking from another end. I knew he was crying. But my mom didn't matter him made me mad at him more. I was angry at him. I was really. I felt hurt. I thought he will come. And my wishes went to bin like always.

Don't you want to see her one last time? I hiccuped, As Swara passed me water I swallowed them with a small smile at her. She just nodded her head with a red face. She is one crying mess out of all.

Manik, Don't make it hard for me. He warned me.

I'm sorry for bothering you, Mr. Malhotra. 

Dubara bother nae karunga apko. Goodbye. I hang the last call of mine on the so-called brother of some sister, who is also my dad in papers, that was one last chance I gave to him to become my father. And there will be no more. Ever again. I don't repeat my mistakes. Learned lessons.

I started funeral. I don't know whether I should believe that love I saw in between them or not to believe. Kya voh sab dekwa tha. I don't know. But. I don't know. Maybe what I always believe is not true. Saab dekwa hai. E duniya sirf dekwa. Sab mathlabi hai. Sab ke sab.

Everyone was standing behind me as Panditji chanted some mantras, where I followed what they said. I stood and held her hands with mine.

Promises are meant to be broken. I whispered only to her, though she won't hear. I wanted to say her this.

Goodbye. Hope you find a better place, where someone will love you dearly more than any. And keep you happy forever. And hain come to me soon. I'll be waiting for you mamma. I kissed her forehead. Bide a final goodbye to my mother, who unknowingly become my best friend with whom I wanted to share everything. But friends do leave your hand.

 I closed my eyes. As I lite the fire. That was one moment I prayed to God to erase that memory of mine. I can't say how I felt. I can never. Somethings can't be shared it can only be felt, when you undergo, that was one such moment in my life. I needed someone by my side. But all I found was myself. 

I just looked behind only to find everyone had left, Everyone left me except Kaka, who was holding letter to me. When I turned, he gave sympathy to me. I just smiled at him as I opened the letter, which he passed me.

Sorry for leaving Manik!

My daughter is more important to me than any!

I'm taking Sanskar and Swara with me for their safety. I hope you'll take care of yourself. And forgive us for not being there.

Rahul

I just looked away from the letter as I crashed it into my fist. Everyone will leave.

When my parents can leave, I can't except others parents to stay, right? My mind chuckled at my heart's word. It finally learned never to believe anyone. But I was damn jealous of Sanskar and Siri because their parents loved them a lot but me, let it be aside forever.

Kaka mera bag ready kijye. I'm leaving. I said him. He gave worried look.

Kaha ja rahe hai baba? He asked me.

Bohuth durr. I smiled in return. As I saw peaceful lake.

All I wanted to do was to shout at the world and say what I'm feeling. But I couldn't. I couldn't express myself what I was feeling. I lost my own self. I lost it forever.

I couldn't believe everything happened to me. I just wanted to wake me up from my nightmare but the truth was I was living my own nightmare with my open eyes. Where evil monster inside my mind was laughing loudly at me. And I felt vulnerable like never before.

I sat how many hours in that place. I had no idea. I was blacking out often. I knew I was not going to be same anymore. I started writing a diary again from the day Nandini entered my life till now, which I missed most. Because I had her to share my feelings. But when I know, she won't be there anymore. I didn't have a choice but to share my whole feelings in my diary again, My only friend in the whole world. My Keeper. Simply me.

And then where I left, how I spent that seven months away from everyone. I don't know. Trust me I hardly remember it. Because I lost my own self. I was suffering from hallucinations. Which made me think which is real and which is a nightmare. Everything felt nightmare. Sleep was far away from me. 

I only remember pulling my bag out of that palace that stormy midnight. Everything was dark. Pitch dark like my life. The sound of storms and thunder, all I can feel even today, which is happening outside and inside me. The difference was, rain was pouring not my tears.

I walked and walked, miles together. I never wanted to turn back and see that shit of life, I had or I was living. That kind of people, who are just betrayers. Now all I wanted a life without any damn relationships. Without a dream or a goal. Without a name called trust and hope. Especially love and expectation.

I'll survive this life until I'm alive. Then I'm ready to die any moment. If death comes near me. I'm ready to go with it. Far away from this world to my mother.

Months passed, I was losing my own self. I wanted someone to look after me. In fact, I had forgotten where I used to stay before. I started forgetting things. To such an extent. I tend to forget my own name. But the worst reality was, I couldn't forget what I wanted to forget. My worst memories had become my nightmares. I used to get scared to sleep. Just because I didn't want to feel nightmares, which once I lived in my past.

I started working in small dabba where I used to get food and small cot outside Dabba, maybe some money too, I hardly remember that. That was the only thing I had. The owner was a kind man, he didn't remove me from my job, even when I used forget orders given by his customers. He was really patient with me. whenever I feel panic, he used to console me. Saying good things. I was very grateful to him for baring me and my disease.

I spent my five months there. And left to many places in search of Nandini, all I came up with was empty hands. There were no such places that I didn't leave behind to search her, Even I had sent mail to Nandini's name stating her admission in London university on scholarship, using my power being Malhotra but I could hardly get any reply from her, and I felt so guilty that she didn't choose her dream but something which she was not ready for. This is not what I dreamt of her. I had dreamt a big dream for my Jaanu. But in vain. I cursed myself. 

If I would've been little more careful about our intimacy this day would've not come for her. This is all my mistake she is paying for. The guilt of destroying her life made me mad at my own self. I started hating myself so bad that, no one hates me more than this. If I would've not been a part of her life. She would've been the happiest girl with chasing her dreams. I sighed sadly thinking about her.

Somethings you can't undo. 

You really can't undo.

Something things are meant to be Fated but it won't be in our destiny.

She is not my destiny. She was not.

##

Flashback ends.

Papa. I heard a loud shriek as I entered the palace, where I looked Avni standing near door behind her was monster Nandini.

Shit! In big trouble with Mini monster's of mine, while the junior Malhotra sat on the couch having ice cream tub in his lap. Ready for his own entertainment which is going to happen.

Hey Pumpkin, I faked a cheer. I lifted her in my arms.

Put her down, Now. I heard from Nandini, who was glaring me. I smiled nervously at them. I kept Avni next to Abhay, who cheered Nandini more. I glared him. He showed his chocolate tooth in return.

Where the fuck were you? she questioned me, I looked around only to find my little family alone.  I sighed being alone with them. They are all I want nothing more. 

Me? I questioned her back pointing myself. She gritted her teeth clear indication to spit out the truth.

I went to dabba. I said her. She gave me to proceed to look. But she looked strict than what I wanted to see in her. She just became like me. Stubborn to show her feelings. She now knows how to hide her feelings just like me. And I hate it now. Like she hates mine.

Okay, I wanted clear my mind. So, went out making an excuse. I added truth she nodded her head in understanding.

Had something?? She questioned me with concern as she lifted my collar, I just hugged her and looked my kids, where Abhay lost the bet against Avni again. Because I'm sure he would've bet my wife would be mad at me. Not happening baby. I smiled evilly at him. He gritted me and Avni.

Yeah. Alu paratha. I licked my lips remembering delicious alu Parata, where my kids licked their lips.

Muje bhi chaye hai. Abhay shouted in excitement. As I picked him while I passed Nandini food bag, she nodded her head in disbelief. 

My Foodies are back! She slapped her head as she followed us, where Avni ran before us to reach our room. I just looked Nandini, she just passed a weak smile. 

I threw Abhay on the bed of our room. Where everyone looked calm, which is not true. We all four needed our time, but the truth is we needed each other more than that.

I made them eat food by my own hands, where Abhay and Avni munched it with great love sitting on Nandini's lap, where my wife lovely looking at us as I fed her too. Knowing very well none had their food after I left the table.

##

So, Abhay? I questioned him while he was still crying buckets in Jaanu's arms, which churned our hearts, where Avni didn't like anything happening currently. She hated Abhay's tears. Where Nandini was saying sweet nothing to stop his tears but in vain, he would start again.

Hmm. he rubbed his running nose with his long sleeves. Where anyone can awe at his cute red face, apart from him crying. 

Aage kya? I asked him, where he looked clueless at us. 

I don't know. he hiccuped, for a while, I and Nandini relaxed seeing him crying, that's what he needed. How much ever we didn't want him to cry, we let him cry and let his feelings flow out of him. We wanted our old Abhay back, not that Abhay we had seen him from past few months. We want our cute and bubbly son of ours.

Then maaf kardo unhe, Abhay. He really loves you a lot, Ye bath tumbhi acchse janthe ho aur mai bhi. So, just don't avoid him. unhone tumara sath kohi galath nae kiya na hai baby, He is your the best dadu, Right? I asked him, he just nodded his head with running nose, where Nandini cleaned it for him. He looked at me with hopeless eyes. He really didn't know what to do and what not to do. But all he wished was his dadu, but I was again obstacle to him, which I don't want to be for his happiness.

But I hate him. He didn't let go his words. However, I tried to explain him. I was failing miserably. 

Yes, you hate him. But you also love him, baby. Maaf kardo unhe. You love him a lot more than you hate him. Give him chance, Abhay. He won't break your heart again. If breaks he will face my worth. I promised him, he started crying again in Nandini's arms, I so hate his tears, I rubbed my back of the neck and looked them, while Nandini's consolation started again. We looked like one helpless parent at the moment.

Abhay, baby look at mamma? Nandini pulled him out her crook of the neck, while he vailed louder. Can this boy for once stop crying, Is what Avni questioned us. As she glared me bringing this topic out of nowhere. Yes, it was unplanned and when it came out. All I could see the crying mess,  Mr. Abhay Malhotra. And glaring Avni Malhotra. And the most helpless Nandini Malhotra. I felt hitting my head to some wall.

What you want, baby? She questioned him as wiped his tears. where he hiccuped more. She can better handle her son than me. Uff Avni never cries like this. She makes another cry, who made her cry. And dealing with her is much easier than handling the most sensitive boy of ours. He looks complicated to me. All he needs his parents for himself. And his little shathani sister nothing more. If allowed his grandparents too, whom he loves a lot. But he doesn't want to lose us for them. 

I want him to plead and make more efforts. He finally spits out. Where I sighed in relief. Finally!!

Then will you forgive him? Nandini held his large hands, where he looked me for an answer.

Do you mind? He didn't continue his words. where I smiled at him. Why did my kids grow this early in their mind? It should not be like this. This is not I wanted from my children. I wanted them to be so innocent to understand the world. I wanted them to grow like any other child. But vain. They are much mature than their age.

I don't mind. If you're happy with him. I will be the happiest man. Your happiness is what is important to me. I don't want to become a hindrance to your relationship with your grandpa, Abhay. Think wisely. Give him a chance. He does deserve one from you, right? 

Galathi sab karthe hai buddy but kohi apna galthe sudare woh log ek chance zarur deserve karthe hai. I said him, where he started thinking, while Nandini rocked him in her arms, I hope he understands what I'm saying and give a chance to dad.

I will think about it. He said from the crook of her neck, as Nandini made him sleep in her arms, I hope tomorrow gives hope for all of us. I made Avni sleep next to Abhay, where my son cuddled to his mom. Mother is all everyone needs at the end. I Miss you, mom. I really do. 

##

I just woke with a jerk from sleep, I looked around only to find Nandini not being in the bed. I looked at the clock it was showing 5 am in morning. I pulled duvet on kids more, as They hugged each other in sleep. I smiled at them. They are one cute twin babies.

Jaanu? I called her out as I started looking for her in our room but couldn't find her. I didn't go out as I knew she can't be out. As our room door was locked from inside.

I climbed upstairs to my room. Where I saw light coming out of my painting room. What is she doing here? That too this early in the morning?

I saw her standing near one of my painting. She was just looking at the picture. And I was just looking at her. She was in her deep thoughts as she caressed the panting.

I should ask Avni about its meaning, right Manik? She said looking at the painting. Where I walked behind her, as I stood behind her.

(Credits - to the owner of the painter, which I'm unknown)

Nandini? I called her but she just turned to me with blank eyes.

I opened my arms to her as she cuddled inside me. I pressed my lips to her temple as she closed her eyes to feel it. I don't know what to say and what not. As I looked the painting I did years back. 

It meant I was hopeless, Badly hopeless, I don't remember those days, but I knew I was waiting for you too badly. I wanted you but I didn't know where were you. I waited for you too long, but when you didn't turn up I lost hope and trust in us badly. That's what it says. I said looking at them, where her eyes were teary. It hurts to see tears in her eyes when I'm the reason. But today I wanted to say the truth to her. Only truth for our future it may hurt her now. But it shouldn't break her tomorrow.

I hurt you lot. Haina? She questioned with puppy eyes. I hate myself for this.

Yes. You hurt me a lot because I gave you right to hurt me, as I know you'll mend that broken heart of mine again. I trust you for that, Jaanu. She hugged me tightly as I could hear her silent sob.

I don't deserve you. I don't. 

Maine ye sab kya kardiya, Manik?

I feel ashamed of myself. I..I... 

She hiccuped in my arms, all I could feel my heart breaking into pieces. This is not I wanted. I.I don't know what to say and make her feel good. I really don't know. I feel blank. Completely to console her.

Nandu, Shh!! I feel short of words at the moment.

I don't know. I destroyed us. I became the reason. I..I hate myself for this? 

I'm sorry for not trusting you. I don't know how to mend it, I don't know. She melted her weakness in my arms, all I did was to hold her in my arms with all my strength. I kissed her forehead.

As I picked her in bridal style walked to my study room, which has another bedroom of mine. I made her sit on my lap, where she was drenching my t-shirt with her tears.

Are you trying to rub your running nose of yours with my t-shirt? I asked her with a frown, as she was rubbing her nose against my clothes. where she wailed just like any other kid.  Oh! God.

Tum mera mazak uda rahe ho? She questioned me with a cute red nose. Sometimes, enjoying present is the best than the past, which hurt you more.

Nae mera shirt karab ho raha hai. I tried to tease her. she kicked my stomach. As I laid myself on bed and her on me.

We kept looking at each other, I read thousands of questions in her eyes, which were unanswered by me. I removed her strands, while she closed her teary eyes. I pulled her more to me, where our noses were touching each other, but our intensity didn't subside. I liked the way we are drenching in each other souls. I could feel her emotions in my heart like the way she is feeling mine.

Yes, I'm hurt because of you Nandini. Really disappointed with you. I never expected this from you. I really didn't as my partner. Her tears kissed my cheeks, where her eyes showed guilty and pain, where I can't measure, how broken my girl was.

But trust me, I'm really proud of you for being the strongest mother for our kids, who you didn't leave them because of our problem. You never thought them as a hindrance to your life. But you welcomed them with all heart though you were drowning in the darkness because of me. You never gave birth to another Manik Malhotra, Nandini.

And you were never Devika Malhotra. 

Tumhe patha hai Nandini, when I decided our past. I was very sure you gonna chose kids above me. And I was equally sure that you won't leave their hands no matter how difficult it is for you. You will make it for them with all heart. You'll give them everything they deserve, I never doubted it because of your selflessness. You are one great woman in my entire life Nandini, whom I'm so proud of loving.

And I fell in love with you more when I saw you with our kids after many years because you made it what I expected it from you.

You gave them what every kid needs from parents. You are one great mom, I have ever seen in my life. And I feel lucky about my kids that they had one best mom for them. They are so lucky to have you unlike me.

I paused for a while. Where she was finding honesty in my eyes too sooth her.

Why didn't I had a mother like you, Nandini? I questioned her without my knowledge. where tears were flowing from her eyes violently but when I asked her question. She looked surprised. 

End of Manik's pov

##

Nandini's pov

Dumbstruck! shock and surprise were all I could feel. I looked into his eyes. Only could see how he is craving for a mother. Pain and disappointment in his eyes and soul were reflecting in my heart. I could feel him. He looked lost boy, who is searching his mother in the big world. My heart broke into pieces.

Who said I'm not your mother. I'm your mother too, my big baby. I kissed his cheeks. where his tears were rolling I never saw him this weak. Never.

Then why did you left me like all my mother's, Nandini? Was I so bad?? he questioned me for the first time like a hurt kid where I didn't have an answer for his question. I never knew how broken he was until this moment. This second I felt his pain and hurt, which I couldn't bare a moment. As I dug my head into his chest asking myself what blunder I had done to my man. I should have come back when I made up my mind. I should have. Aiyyappa maine kya kardiya? Can I get my old Manik back? Can I?

I never felt so ashamed about any decision of my life. But today I felt worthless woman for not choosing the man of my life when all he needed was me by his side. Can I go back to past and change entire book of ours. Can I?

This guilty will eat me for whole life. And I do deserve this for hurting and failing him. Don't I?

Yes, you do honey. Is what My heart said. She always said true. She always believed him unlike me. And I don't have words for my own decisions. I really don't.

I'm sorry. I know my sorry's won't undo anything for you, Mani. I said with a hiccup as he tightened his hold on me, where I was trying to go inside his body to reach his soul. Where he let me do whatever I wished to.

Then? he questioned me like a hopeful kid. I kissed his chest, while he caressed my hairs with love. His gesture was soothing my burning soul. That my soul was melting for him.

I'll make it up for you. I said looking into his eyes, where he just smiled at me with a hope.

I'll wait for it, wifey. He kissed my forehead as I crawled to reach his face again. 

What are we up to? He asked me like an innocent kid. But he knew what was coming next. In fact, he was waiting for it too.

Many things. I muttered to him. I want to forget everything being in his arms. And I want to make him forget his pain in my love. I need to make him feel that he will have me from now on. And I'll make him feel one.

I guess I need many things from you. Only from you. 

He pressed his lips against mine. And all I heard giggle of his with his flirty talks often, which I couldn't bare. where love was in the air with my loud moans and his groans. Where we forget everything behind us. It is just us again and I was loving it like anything. So, as he. 

Where we drowned our self in our love, which is the only way to get back each other. To heal him. To make him cherish his rest of life in my love. I want him to forget everything about past and live with me like my own and old Manik. And I'll make it happen again. I'll.

##

Abhay? I heard from Manik as someone climbed above me. I shoot my eyes in fear as I guess I was still naked under the blanket.

Mamma. he shoots his cute smile, I looked Manik, who smiled at me assuringly as I looked myself fully dressed in one of the summer dress. I sighed in relief as I saw daddy and daughter giggling on something.

Aur? I heard from them as I heard wish list from Avni, in which she asked Manik to teach her cycle riding, which she never learned till date as she wanted to learn from Manik only. And he happily nodded his head for his baby pumpkin and I swear to aiyyappa he won't say no to her ever.

Mamma, buki. I saw Abhay was sitting on my nap making a pout of hunger. I could only kiss my baby boy's cheek.

Let's make kahana. I said him he nodded his head excitedly. We so love to cook together. And Abhay is good cook if you ask me.

And morning can never be more better than this. A day with a fresh start all over again.

It's time to be happy like never before.

##

Well, I'm so alive with good health. And so sorry for disappearing so often now a days. And this time. I know, I was one horrible person to disappear Without any notice. Sorry for not replying. Sorry for disappearing.

I had reasons for it. Maybe I'll say them when I update next part. Yeah good news is all way in next part. Hope that good news come soon like your writer. I won't promise early update until I come back next time. And that is forever. I hope.

Yeah I need lot of blessings from you all. Lot of love from you to come back sooner. So shower lots of love to me like you always do. Sorry for late replies and no replies from me. I really didn't mean to ignore you people. It just that I'm stuck badly somewhere, where I'm trying to come out sooner. Hopefully sooner.

And yeah this chapter came out of syllabus. I didn't planned this. I wanted write about kids and Manan mostly but I couldn't. As I thought this was most important than that. From here story gonna change with happy note.

Making it as,

Fated but it is in Destiny!!

Well wait for me and miss me a lot. Yes, do shower comments if you missed me a lot. I love to read them.

And last but not least.

Happiest birthday day Parthu😘😘😘😘😘.

Lots of love.