Dear Diary,

We had went out today and it completely horrible. We ignored each other the whole entire time, it's like we are strangers to each then again.

I just.

I can't believe it.

Maybe he didn't ignore me, maybe he just didn't want to say or converse about.

Words and emotions were just flowing all over in my mind but I didn't know or what to say to him, he is the one who usually starts the conversations so I don't ever know what to say.

For a little, he had pushed me around in my wheelchair, but other than that, we didn't really converse and it was really awkward.

I caught him catching a couple glimpses of me but I don't think he mean to, maybe he was just daydreaming or he was caught off guard doing something.

Honestly, I was sort of upset because a beautiful friendship such as ours, is getting broken. That can't happen: I won't let it happen.

My birthday is in two weeks, I wonder will he care like I did on his birthday? Like, will he make me a video full of our pictures? Will he write a long speech for me? Will he even wish me a happy birthday? I'm expecting too much. I wish he would just care as much as I care for him.

I'm making a birthday party and I guess he's coming. I hope we don't ignore each other on that special day.

I just hope that I could read his mind, but I'm not sure if I can handle the truth..

I'm just expecting too much, that's the problem. The more I expect from him, the more I get disappointed and broken. We ignore each other for weeks and I still expect from him to say hi.  That's just ridiculous.

Ugh.

I can't let him control my mind, again.
I can't let him make me feel down, again.
I can't let him make me cry, again.

I just have to be strong.
I just have to be confident.
I just have to be brave.
I just have to face my fears.
I just have to ignore him until he speaks to me.

I just wish he would notice me.

I feel that he'll get a girlfriend soon.

I think he loves one of my friends, I'm not sure though. She likes him too I guess.
I'm not sure he likes her though.

• Never mind, I'll find someone like you. •

Dear him,
I love you.
I loved you yesterday.
I love you today.
I'll love you tomorrow.
Forever and always.
If you fall, I'll be there.
I just wanted to tell you, Somebody's writing pages about you, yet you're chasing the one who won't even send you a text.
I Love You.
You're still my favorite person, even if I'm not yours.

And you let her go.

Love,

Your Lover.