Tony knocks on the door to Antonia's new room, something he is only comfortable doing because FRIDAY has assured him that she's not the only person in there. (On a related note, he cannot believe he found out that Dreykov's daughter was sleeping in his house last night from his AI. Why does nobody think to tell him these things anymore?)

"Yeah?" Natasha calls back.

"Is it safe to open the door," Tony asks, "or are you guys doing unspeakable girl things in there that I'd rather not know about?"

Natasha scoffs. "What kind of unspeakable girl things do you think we get up to?"

"What part of 'unspeakable' makes you think I'm going to speak them?" (For the record, he does not expect any unspeakable girl things to be happening right now; he just doesn't want to shove his way into Antonia's room if they'd rather keep it small.)

Fortunately, Wanda says, "You can come in." At least somebody here respects him enough to answer his question.

Tony opens the door, and he's met with the sight of Natasha, Wanda, Yelena, and, presumably, Antonia all hanging around the room. Antonia's hanging something up in her closet and Natasha is putting something in her bureau, so it seems their shopping ship was a success.

And then Antonia turns around.

... He wasn't ready for that.

And in his defense, he knows nothing about this woman. Nobody has told him a single thing except that she stayed the night and went out shopping with the girls a couple hours ago. So it's not like he could have known that her face looked like... that.

He doesn't know if his surprise shows on his face. He'd like to think he does a good job of hiding it. He just really wasn't expecting to see that half of her face has been disfigured so noticeably – and so painfully, it seems. The nosey part of him wants to ask what happened. The part of him that comes from a civilized society knows to just ignore it – though it won't stop him from wondering just what kind of personal hell she's escaped from.

So instead of saying a word about it, he says to the entire group of girls, playing up his insincerity, "I'd say I'm sorry for intruding on your girl time, but I would be lying."

Natasha rolls her eyes goodnaturedly. "What do you want, Stark?"

"Well, first, I want to introduce myself," he says. This he does direct toward Antonia, only because she's the one person in the room he hasn't met before. "Tony Stark. And you're Antonia Dreykov, I'm assuming?"

"I am," she answers.

"Good to meet you," Tony says. "Now, not to jump right into business, but I've got an offer to make – for both you and Yelena."

Antonia cocks her head to the side, and Yelena just raises an eyebrow.

"You guys are welcome to stay as long as you want," he begins. "You can move in for good, if that's what you want; don't think I'm trying to kick you out. But I'm more than happy to rent you an apartment or buy you a house or whatever you need to get situated while we work on getting you guys visas; whatever sounds good to you – and you're welcome to think on it; I don't need an answer now."

All four of them seem surprised by that, which is hilarious to him because he's already footing the bill for all the damage they caused in Budapest, so this is nothing to him. His bank account won't even notice an extra few hundred thousand missing for a house he'll never see.

"I wish I was rich," Yelena mutters under her breath.

"As long as I have Stark's credit card," Natasha says, "you might as well be."

Tony makes a show of rolling his eyes. "I know, I know," he says. "I'm just a bank account to you."

"That's what you get for retiring on us," Natasha says teasingly.

Antonia hasn't taken her eyes off of Tony since he made this offer, so it doesn't really surprise him when she asks, "You would do that?"

Tony shrugs. "Yeah, sure," he says. It will help her out more than it will inconvenience him. "Are you interested?"

Antonia hesitates, but slowly, she begins to nod.

"Any idea where you want to go?" Tony asks. "Want to stay local? Check out California? Go back to Russia? Your call."

Antonia shakes her head. "I don't..."

"Local," Wanda answers for her. "Somewhere nearby, in case she needs anything."

Tony clicks his tongue. "Sounds like a plan," he says. "I'll go house-hunting." He looks pointedly at the girl. "Again, no rush – stay as long as you want." He turns his attention to Yelena. "Thoughts?"

"I'll think about it," Yelena answers.

"I think she'll be staying here for a while," Natasha tells him, which puts a small smile on her sister's face.

"Oh, great," Tony says sarcastically, just to be a little bitch. "It's like Thor and Loki all over again."

Unfortunately, he doesn't get to hear Natasha's reaction to that (which is truly the only reason he does this), because Wanda takes that remark in a completely different direction with, "Oh, we should have asked Loki if they wanted to come for our girls day."

Tony shakes his head. "Loki has been passed out on the couch with the Aladdin title theme playing on repeat for at least the last three hours," he says. "You don't need to worry about him."

Yelena balks at them. "First of all, this was a shopping trip, not a girls day," she says. "Second, why would we let Loki join a girls day?"

"He's a girl sometimes," Natasha says vaguely. "Don't question it. It'll make more sense when you see it."

Yelena just stares at her.

Tony has to admit, that's a valid reaction for the lack of context she just got.

"Alright," Tony says, "that's all I got for you guys. Nat, can I steal you for a minute?"

"Do I have a choice?" Natasha asks.

"Not if you want to keep my credit card," Tony answers.

"Alright, alright," she says, and she excuses herself from the group.

Tony doesn't take her far; just far enough that the others don't have to hear it. He has no idea what kind of life Yelena and Antonia are coming from. The last thing he wants is to make them feel guilty that they made it out.

But he does want to make Natasha feel guilty, so he lays into her.

"Did the entire thing with the Accords go over your head?" Tony demands.

Natasha scoffs. "Just because you retired doesn't mean the rest of us have to sit back and let the bad guys win."

Tony scoffs, too. "If I had a problem with that, I wouldn't have helped you with the antidote," he says. "I'm all for you and the gang fighting the good fight, but we just fought tooth-and-nail for the right to keep the Avengers as an independent organization, and their biggest thing that we needed to do to keep them off our asses was to keep the damage small.

"You couldn't even make it two days!" Tony continues, and the longer he does this, the longer he lectures her, the longer he thinks about it, the more pissed he feels. "I took the fall for this one. I agreed to pay the potentially hundreds of millions of dollars in property damage around Budapest because you and Barton decided to go on a car chase. But next time, I'm staying out of it. You can deal with Ross."

Natasha crosses her arms across her chest, lips pursed in annoyance, but the lack of sarcastic remark tells him she sees his point.

Tony takes a deep breath, and then he plasters on a smile and claps her on the arm. "Okay, that's all," he says cheerfully. "Keep fighting the good fight. Stop making a mess. Don't let anyone get hurt. Sound like a plan?"

Natasha cracks a smile. "I think I can handle that."

"Great," Tony says. "Now, can I trust you to yell at Barton about this later so I don't have to track him down and do it myself?"

"I got you covered," she assures him. "Thanks for taking the heat for us – and for taking care of Yelena and Antonia, 'cause I know this isn't how we expected this to end."

Tony just shrugs. "What else is the Avengers Hotel manager for?" he quips. "I'll get a place nearby set up for Antonia; maybe check in with Fury and see if they've got any job opportunities for her – freeing the other Widows, or something like that."

"She might appreciate that," Natasha agrees. She gives him a nod. "You're good people, Stark."

"Well, I try," Tony replies. "Now go back to your little slumber party, will you? I'm done with you."

Natasha huffs. "Alright, I'm out of here. Thanks, Tony. Sorry we sicced Ross on ya."

Tony waves that off. "You're fine."

Natasha gives him a smile, and then she slips back off into Antonia's room.

As the door closes behind her, Tony leans back against the wall, resting his head against it and closing his eyes. He takes a deep breath. So that's done. Hopefully she does pass that on to Clint, because he really doesn't want to do this whole thing again, and he's definitely not sure he has it in him to deal with Ross again when they make another mess – and they will, which is the worst part. That's what the Avengers do: they clean up one mess, and leave behind another.

He'd really deluded himself into thinking this whole thing would get easier when he left the Avengers. He'd deluded himself into thinking that as long as he wasn't the one doing the fighting, it was all going to be fine and dandy. That was his first mistake, he realizes: believing that the world would ever let him catch a break.

He runs a hand down his face as the exhaustion really sets in. He's just so fucking tired. And there's only one solution to this, really: he needs a fucking drink.