WARNING: This chapter may upset some readers (mention of sexual assault)

But although I was extremely tired, it took me too long to get to sleep. I was tossing and turning, my eyes aching so much, but every time I shut them, my brain was buzzing with activity. I tried having a warm shower, but that didn't work. I tried to do the mediation I had practiced so long ago in Asgard, but my brain kept wondering.

That probably should have been a sign for when I did eventually fall asleep at around 2am. It felt like I almost instantly slipped into a nightmare.

I was walking down the hallway in HYDRA, dragging my feet after another brutal training session, my vision blurry from exhaustion. I opened up my bedroom door, turning around to shut it, leaning against it for a moment to try and give my aching muscles a break. But barely a second later, someone grabbed my shoulders and pushed me against the wall.

Despite being so exhausted, adrenaline kicked in and all my training came flooding back. I grabbed the arm that was clutching my shoulder and I twisted it around, causing the attacker to stumble slightly as I spun in their weakened grip. I threw my foot up into their stomach with such a force that I heard a sickening crunch, despite my aching muscles. They gasped out in pain and I pushed them away from me, causing them to stumbled backwards and hit the back of my bed.

With one hand wrapped around their stomach, they pulled a gun out of the holster hanging around their waist. They barely aimed it before pulling the trigger, the bullets a blur past my ear as they lodging into the wall instead. I lurched forward as they cursed, dodging their punch and reaching out to grab their wrist. I twisted it hard, adrenaline powering through my veins, making a dangerous combination with my fire that was beginning to spark at my finger tips. They cried out in pain and the gun dropped to the floor as their skin burnt and twisted under my grip. As their knees buckled, I punched them hard in the side of the head, causing them to immediately fall silent as they collapsed onto the floor.

But his screams and the gunshots had already been heard and as I slowly came to realise what I had done, my bedroom door opened to reveal Strucker, Zola and the Winter Soldier. Strucker's clenched jaw was enough to cause my fire to instantly disappear.

"What did I tell you about resisting?" He yelled, storming over to me and grabbing a handful of hair before I could even comprehend his movements.

I swallowed a yell of pain as he forced my head back. I stupidly tried to squirm out of his grip, which only resulted in him punching me in the stomach. I doubled over in pain but he still kept a strong grip on my hair, his gloved hands digging into my skull.

"Answer me!" He spat, saliva speckling all over my face as I flinched.

I gasped for air, but couldn't answer quick enough for Strucker. He swung his free fist into my jaw, sending a loud cracking sound through my room as my head lurched to the side from the impact. I immediately felt blood fill my mouth and as I turned my head back to face Strucker, my fire instinctively bubbling up from the pain. I lurched in his grip and spat a mouthful of blood on his shoe. He looked down at the ruby-red splatter on his shoe before looking up at me with murderous rage.

His hand dropped from my hair and I breathed out at the release of pain, but his hand quickly moved itself to around my throat, squeezing tightly. I glared defiantly at him for the first couple of seconds before my throat began to feel like it was collapsing in on itself, I squirmed in his grip, but he just smirked as my eyes began to widen. He squeezed tighter, causing my eyeballs to feel like they were popping out of my head. I looked over at the Soldier, begging him with my eyes to do something, to stop Strucker, but he just watched on emotionlessly. His grip on the Skorpion in his hands shifted, but that was the only sign I got that he was aware of what was happening.

"He won't help you now." Strucker smirked.

I could feel the blood pounding in my head as the corners of my vision slowly began to darken. I could hear was my blood pulsing in my ears and stars began to dance across my eyes. I began to feel lightheaded as I tugged at his hand around my neck, but it was useless. The energy was draining out of my body fast and it was getting hard to squirm out of his grip.

"Sir." Interrupted Zola, causing Strucker to swing his murderous glare to the scientist. "We can't afford for her to die. We need her."

Strucker slowly looked back at me, a muscle ticking in his jaw as his eyes darted over my no doubt red face. My vision was slowly turning blurry as as the urge to close my eyes began to become overwhelming.

Suddenly, he threw me across my room and I crashed into my empty bookcase that immediately broke under the force of my weight and fell on top of me. Pain flared across my whole body, paralyzing me for a couple of seconds as I took in desperate gasping breaths, trying to get the oxygen back into my body. Footsteps made their way over to me and Strucker crouched down next to me, grabbing my still aching jaw as he forced me to look up at him. Everything was spinning; I must have hit my head pretty badly because it looked like he was rocking from side to side.

"Don't try that again." He said through gritted teeth, before roughly throwing my head to the side and sending more pain rippling through me. "Someone else will be with you soon."

I watched through my wavering vision as he made his way back over to the Soldier and Zola, storming out of the door. Zola quickly followed after him, but the Soldier stepped inside, walking over to the body of the still unconscious agent, picking them up and throwing him over his shoulder. He paused, looking at me like he was trying to figure out was what happening. But he didn't say anything and walked out, shutting the door quietly behind him.

I laid limply under the wreckage of the bookshelf, trying to fight the pain that was flaring through my body. A couple of minutes later, someone swung my door open and I saw that it was another male agent. Being barely conscious, I hardly noticed as he be picked me up off the floor and tossed me onto the bed like I was rag doll. I whimpered in pain and the agent smirked before pulling off all of my clothes. Pain completely covered my whole body and as he began, I felt my eyes beginning to close as the pain became too much, and I surrendered to the darkness.

I sat bolt upright in bed, bedsheets falling off my shoulders as my chest heaved, sweat dripping down from my forehead. I unclenched my hands from where they had been digging into my palms and shakily wiped away the sweat. I dropped my head into my hands, trying to take deep, steady breaths to calm my trembling body.

"It's just a memory." I whispered to myself as tears threatened to overwhelm me. "Just a memory, just a memory, just a memory."

"Em?" Interrupted a slightly wary voice and I jumped, my head snapping up.

I my eyes darted to the direction of the voice and I saw a figure sitting on the bed next to me, a male figure. I screamed and immediately tried to scramble out of bed, the bed sheets tangling around my legs as I fell off the bed onto the floor with a loud thump. I scrambled backwards until my back hit a wall behind me, adrenaline pumping through my veins. My hands instinctively darted to where my utility belt usually hung around my waist, but my heart dropped when I remembered I didn't have it on.

I was defenceless.

The person came closer, their face still hidden by the shadows of the room. I pressed myself as hard as I could against the bedroom wall, watching them with wide fearful eyes as they stood a couple of steps away from me.

"Hey Em, calm down." The voice spoke soothingly. "It's just me."

My brain slowly recognised the voice as Loki's and my legs buckled with relief as I slowly slid down the wall, breathing out heavily as I gripped my head in my trembling hands. He slowly knelt down in front of me, eyes flicking over my face.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my hands falling down and I clenched them together in my hands, pulling back the fire in my veins that was desperately trying to break through.

"JARVIS called me." He replied, offering a hand to pull me back up. "He told me you were having a nightmare." My legs swayed unsteadily under me as he helped me stand. "Are... are you okay?"

"I'll be fine." I nodded, trying not to relish in the coolness of his hand.

He gently guided me back over to my bed, watching me carefully as I sat back down, wiping my forehead again. He sat down next to me, his body turning to face me completely.

"Did they really do that to you?" He asked softly as I fiddled with my pants.

It took me a couple of moments to actually realise what he had said. I slowly looked up at him, my heart stopping in my chest as I stared at him.

"What did you say?" I asked, my voice almost a whisper.

"I-I meant-" he began, his eyes widening as he immediately tried to backtrack, but I interrupted him.

"You were in my head." I breathed, looking away with wide eyes as my heart began to pound rapidly as I realised he would have seen everything.

"You weren't waking up." He desperately tried to cover up. "So I thought that if I called out to you mentally, you might wake up, but... you were basically protecting it. I tried to look away but it was... it was like it was trapping me there, forcing me to watch. I swear Em, I didn't look on purpose."

"You promised not to look in my head." I couldn't stop the tears from filling my eyes as I drew my knees up to my chest, wrapping my legs around them in comfort. "I told you that I didn't want you snooping!"

"I wasn't snooping, I was- ". Loki began, but I quickly cut him off, my heart tugging painfully.

"I trusted you Loki." I tried to swallow back my tears but a rogue one slipped down my cheek and I roughly wiped it away. "I thought I could trust you not to look in my mind. You promised me!"

"Em please- " He begged but I interrupted again.

"Get out." I tried to keep the trembling out of my voice, my tone low.

He tried to interrupt again, one hand reaching out to me, but I flinched away.

"Get out." I repeated, my nails digging tightly into my skin. "Now."

As if he could sense that I was on the edge of breaking down, he slowly stood up and moved towards the door. He paused, his hand hovering over the door handle, but he thought better of it and quietly left my room, shutting the door behind him silently.