TW: Mild self-harm (no cutting)

Virgil's POV

Why, oh why did I have to be born a demigod?

If I was just born a normal mortal without any weird powers or mystical blood then I wouldn't have to deal with manipulative goddesses, judgemental half-gods, and a certain son of Aphrodite that can't seem to leave well enough alone.

But then again, if I was born a mortal and couldn't escape to Camp Half-Blood I'd still be dealing with Sebastian, Susan, Martin, and everyone else that made my life miserable. Worst of all, I wouldn't have met Roman, Logan or Patton and not even Joan since they were only sent to Queens to take me to camp. You know what? Never mind. I'd prefer being demigod.

Resigning to my fate, while Roman went outside Logan joined me sitting down on the chairs set up like a waiting room. I was laid out with my legs hanging over one of the armrests and my back against the other. You'd think that Logan would sit with a straight back, maybe legs crossed like he's on a talk show or something, right? But nope! The son of Athena sat with his legs pulled up onto the seat, folded Indian style with his elbow resting on his knee.

I guess it's true, the gays really don't know how to sit properly.

I could tell that Logan was looking for a way to break the silence so I stayed quiet and stared at the TV in the corner that was set to the news.

Huh, I thought after watching the screen for a bit. The president's being an idiot! Who could've guessed?

"Virgil," Logan finally spoke up. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." I answered without looking away from the TV.

"I believe that that's a falsehood." Logan replied as he propped his chin on his hand. "The goddess not only forced you to confess your love to Roman, but also threatened both Pattons life and ours if you didn't obey to her. Obviously I am not going to attempt to find out what other secret she wanted you to reveal, but judging by your distress it seems to be quite heavy information."

I exhaled slowly.

Distress was kind of an understatement considering it sent me spiralling into a panic attack (not that it takes all that much to make that happen). How was I supposed to describe to one of my best friends the crushing dread? The ripping fear? The clawing panic? I just didn't see how I could.

"I'll be fine." I finally said dismissively. "We don't need to talk about it."

"Oh thank the gods-" Logan muttered. I looked at him and he went on to say: "I simply mean that emotions aren't exactly my strong suit. It would be far more efficient to converse with Roman about this topic."

"Ugh." I groaned and dropped my head back against the armrest. "Imagine how that conversation would go. 'Hey Roman I've been feeling like Steve Rodgers without Bucky ever since that psychopath goddess made me confess my undying love for you. Thoughts?' 'Oh yeah I don't understand your references, brain, or feelings and I certainly don't return them. Whoops!'"

Logan had picked up a pamphlet of something off the table and was reading through it.

"That doesn't seem realistic, but alright."

"So, change of subject," I said after a second of silence. I could hear Roman's faint voice drift in from outside. "What exactly is Roman doing? How is he going to make a call with a drachma?"

Logan's blue eyes looked up through his glasses.

"He used his drachma to complete an Iris-Message. Do you not know of it?"

I shook my head.

"No idea. But it sounds kinda cool." I answered.

"It's simply a video message system used by gods and demigods through rainbows. Hence 'Iris' since she is the goddess of the rainbow." He filled me in. "You can call anyone, whether they are mortal, god, or demigod."

"Anyone?"

Logan nodded.

"Huh," I pondered. "I don't really have a choice in the matter, but do you ever call your mortal parents? I remember you saying at the campfire that you have a dad and a step-dad in Nevada, right?"

"Yes that's correct, however I've never given a substantial amount of thought to interacting with my mortal parent and step-dad." Logan pushed up his glasses. "Our household was quite toxic and as a result, I ran away at the age of ten."

"Been there, done that." I said.

My eyes widened as I realized what I had said and cursed myself out in my head. You'd think that with all the lengths I go through to hide most of my life that I'd be more careful with talking about it, but here we are.

I cleared my throat.

"Anyway, have you ever considered staying with Patton instead of staying at camp all year? I'd think that you guys have been together long enough."

"Oh no, if I were to reside with Patton in Louisiana we would have to pretend to be merely friends throughout the time we are there." Logan waved the idea away but his eyes seemed brighter at the proposition of living with his boyfriend. "Unlike Apollo, Patton's parents have never been quite accepting of him or me. They're not exactly, as you'd say, awake."

I was very confused for a bit. I thought for a second, then propped myself up on my elbows.

"Do you mean woke?" I said, holding back a laugh.

"I did mean woke." He nodded. "But it's grammatically incoherent."

I was laughing so hard that I didn't even hear Roman open the door and come inside.

"Did I miss something?" Roman asked looking amused but something sounded odd about his voice.

I wiped the tears of laughter out of my eyes and looked up at him.

"Long story short: Logan being Logan." I smiled a bit at him, expecting him to joke along with me like he's been doing pretty much ever since I had met him.

But he didn't. He just looked at me with a mix of blankness and almost... suspicion?

"Huh, sorry I missed it." He said as he sat down next to Logan.

My smile melted but I told myself that maybe I was just reading into it too much, so I tried again.

"...So who was that call to?" I asked, sitting up from how I was lain out across the seat.

"Remus." Was all he said to me. Then he turned to Logan and started to ask something about whatever.

With my right hand I started to scratch my left wrist, a nervous habit of mine. Usually my brain would be racing a mile a minute, but only one thought filled my mind.

I knew it. I've messed it all up.

I covered my hands with my hoodie sleeves when my skin started to blossom red from the scratching so Logan and Roman wouldn't see them. I couldn't stop.

Logan went up to the desk to lay out his map to find a route and left Roman sitting across from me. I stared at my shoes but I could feel his stare burning the back of my head.

I stood and mumbled something about needing to get some air and went outside. I leaned on the post at the bottom of the stairs and breathed in the fresh air. This was all just so much. The goddesses, the monsters, the demigods, the powers. It was almost too much for me to handle. I heard the door open and close at the top of the steps.

A couple silent seconds passed but I didn't turn around.

"What's the other secret?" Roman finally asked from behind me, his tone flatter than I've ever heard it. Nearly cold.

That's all he has to say? He's not even gonna acknowledge that I, the guy that has trusted a grand total of five people in my entire life, am in love with him?

"Really?" I said quietly. "That's all you're going to say?"

"Well what else would I talk about?" He asked.

"Oh I don't know," I scoffed. I pushed off the post and turned around. In my pockets I was pressing my nails into my palms hard enough to break the skin. "The weather? The latest episode of Game Of Thrones? Or maybe my confession of love to you? Just a few ideas."

Roman shook his head like he was removing a thought from his brain.

"That wasn't the first time I've heard something like that." He said, as if his words had no weight to them.

But to me it felt like a million bricks.

I stumbled back a step and took my hands out of my pockets, letting them hang at my sides limply.

"So......you're saying that it wasn't important to you?" I stared at him and tried hard to keep the shake out of my voice, but it still quivered.

My eyes burned as I waited for Roman's answer.

"That's not exactly what I meant-"

"That's basically what you said." I pointed out, my hands shaking. "Look I get that you're really mad me for some reason, but when you first met me you taught me that what I think matters and I'm really trying to believe that. But all this really isn't helping."

He avoided my eyes and crossed his arms.

"I'm just asking what you're hiding from us." Was all he said.

"Hiding from you." I repeated, blinking hard. 

My heart, my entire chest, felt like it was being cleaved in two. I knew that he probably not love me back but I never imagined that he would act like this. My eyes started to water and I felt like sobbing. How could he just blow off my feelings like I was just a kid crushing on a celebrity. If I didn't feel like complete shit right then, I would've made an 'OMG ITS ROBERT DOWNEY JR' joke but you know how it is. 

"Yeah. Hiding from me." Roman went down a few steps so he was closer to me. "You can't deny that there's something you're not telling me and Logan."

I stayed silent. 

Could I tell him? I want to, so I can lessen the weight on my shoulders at least a bit. But that one answer would spark a million more questions. Questions that I don't think I'd be able to answer. Not without thinking about it, not without reliving it...

I inhaled sharply as I pressed my nails so hard into my palms that I broke the skin. I hid my arm behind my back so Roman wouldn't see the blood drip down my fingers and on to the ground.

Roman stepped onto the bottom stair. On the instincts I'd built over the last decade, I backed up quickly. Out of his reach, just in case.

"I...I-" I stuttered as I backed away. His crimson eyes were filled with uncertainty and suspicion.

"So I'm going to ask you once more," He hopped off the last step, landed with both feet on the dirt and stared me down. "What is the other secret that you aren't telling me?"

"It's none of your business, Roman!" I warned him, suddenly filled with anger towards the son of Aphrodite.

"It's my business if it makes you act like this, Virgil!" He shot back, his face took on a fiercer look.

I scoffed. I can't fucking believe this.

Roman's POV

"You think I'm acting messed up?" Virgil asked bitterly, his hands curled into fists.

"Well you're not exactly calm, are you?" I pointed out with my arms crossed tightly.

"At least I'm not being a complete asshole!" He nearly yelled. "I don't know what's up with you but you're starting to seriously piss me off!"

Alright maybe I was being an asshole but ever since I talked with Remus, I couldn't help but be suspicious about Virgil. He wasn't being completely honest and we both knew it.

"Why won't you just tell me!" I felt a fiery mixture of anger, confusion, and despair. Whether I was angry with Virgil or myself, I really couldn't tell.

I wished I could take Virgil into my arms and protect him from whatever he was hiding. I wished I could hold him and tell him that I love him a million times, but I wasn't going to do that. Until Virgil comes clean, I just can't do that.

"Because I don't have to, Roman!" Virgil snapped.

"How on earth am I supposed to trust you if you hide stuff from me and Logan?" I got closer to him and like before, he stepped backwards to make up for it.

"You need to back the hell up, Garcia!" He glared at me. 

I took another step forward and he took one backward, and another and another until his back hit the trunk of a tree behind him.

"Is Virgil August even your real name?" I growled as I put my hand on the trunk just above his head. I was just so enraged that he could be endangering mine, Logan's, and Patton's lives by not telling us everything. For all I knew, Virgil was the one causing the danger! "Or is it Virgil Morgenstern?"

Virgils eyes sparked for a quick second as he glared at me. His face flushed red with anger as he pressed closer to the tree.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I told you-" He was cut off.

"Roman Francisco Garcia!" Logan called loudly from the top of the stairs. I whipped around to see the son of Athena standing there with arms crossed. He did not look happy. "What in Tartarus do you think you're doing?"

Virgil put his hands on my chest and pushed me away, causing me to stumble back. Quickly, he took a dozen steps away from me like he was desperate to get away, but looked almost unbothered as he stuck his hands into his hoodie pockets like nothing happened.

"Well Logan just gave you the full-name treatment so it's safe to say you're screwed." Virgil didn't look at me as he said that. He pulled his hood up but before he could turn away, I saw the tears start to flood down his cheeks.

Without saying another word, Virgil ran around the corner of the rangers station with his hood hiding his eyes, and disappeared from my sight.

I looked up the stairs to Logan's outraged face.

"Well someone had to ask him about what happened with Aletheia." Was how I justified myself to Logan.

He was not impressed as he stared me down.

"I may not be skilled in matters that involve emotions, but that was very much the incorrect way to go about that situation." He observed in the most Logan-esque way possible.

I rolled my eyes. 

"I tried asking him nicely but it wasn't working. Asking nicely didn't work when Aletheia asked either, but when she tried a different way she actually got an answer." I replied

Logan descended a few steps. As he got closer I realized how angry he really was.

"I assume you mean when Virgil confessed his love for you. But have you ever halted to consider how difficult for him that would have been?" Logan demanded.

"I-" He cut me off.

"Since we have met Virgil one of the main things he's struggled with is trusting us. Perhaps you were busy with your siblings and the such, but Patton and I worked for a week to get him to simply keep eye contact with us for the duration of a complete conversation. And you decided to just diminish that progress because your brother convinced you too?" He reprimanded.

"How do you know about what Remus told me?" I asked him as I brushed my fingers through my hair. Was he listening to my conversation? 

"I am a son of Athena, Roman. It was simple deduction." Logan shook his head. "I am just not sure how you could disregard Virgils emotions like that when you and I both know that those feelings are all, if not mostly, returned."

"Listen, Logan," I started to say. "Whether or not I love him back doesn't matter. All that matters is that Virgil is hiding something from us. He's willing to do anything if it means he won't have to tell us what it is."

"It doesn't definitively mean that Virgil is obscuring something that could cause us harm!" Logan pointed out. At this point he was on the same level as me since he wasn't on the stairs any more. "If it's about his home life, then it is truly none of our business."

"All I did was do what you would've done before Patton taught you otherwise!" I told him, getting louder with every word. "You know that it's logical for us to find out what it is! It's not like  you to make feelings more important than logic!"

"And it's not like you to ignore someones feelings! Especially Virgil's!" Logan shot back.

I stared at him, trying to come up with a response. I looked towards the direction that Virgil ran off in, remembering the tears pouring down his face, and also remembering that those tears were my fault. I wanted go and find him, but I heard Remus's words in my ears.

"How can you fight along side someone that you can't trust? You can't let your feelings get in the way."

"Whatever." I muttered. "I'll be inside." 

I hit Logan's shoulder with mine when I passed him and I climbed up the stairs. I went inside the rangers station and closed the door behind me.

I leaned against the wall for a second with my eyes closed. The images of Virgil glaring at me in anger but looking scared and of him running away from me with his hood pulled up were burned onto the back of my eyelids.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't ask Virgil about it again, all that would happen is Logan getting mad and Virgil refusing over and over. But at the same time, I couldn't just drop it. What if I needed to be the hero in this story and finding out Virgils secret is the first step towards that?

I steeled myself and looked up, scanning the room until I found my backpack. I had an idea. I walked over, grabbed what I needed from the bag, then went over to the desk to ask if there was a payphone I could use. The ranger took me behind the desk to the phone and left me there.

If Virgil isn't going to tell me what the problem is, I'll talk to someone that might.

I unfolded the piece of paper I had grabbed and read the number on the bottom.

If seen, call authorities or his father Sebastian Morgenstern at 917-716-9364

I grabbed the phone and punched in the number.

Then I called.

AN - All comments are read and appreciated <3

Reading this chapter back, damn I broke my own heart. Sorry dudes/dudettes/non-binary bros but it just be like that sometimes.

I have two essays due Monday period 1 & 2 and I haven't started either of them so if I don't reply to many comments tomorrow, there's why.

Love y'all! Goodnight (I stg I don't think I've updated before midnight since like chapter 3)

Fun fact: Virgil's from Queens, New York, Logan lived in Reno, Nevada, Roman lives in Los Angelas, California, and Patton lives in New Orleans, Louisiana

Hope you enjoyed :)