After dinner, everyone went to join their room. I climbed the stairs behind the couple who spoke with enthusiasm. I didn't listen to them, and thought of Alex, who had gone back to the garage.

"Oh, Alicia! Thank you for storing my father's office. It was really a dump shit. I don't know how you did it, but knowing your work methods, it doesn't surprise me anymore," Max announced as he walked to his room.

"You're welcome. That was why I was paid for after all," I said with a slight smile, but my heart wasn't there.

Megan smiles sadly, sharing my torment. I was alone again for this night, and I didn't know if I would have the chance to reveal everything to Alex before my parents arrived here. Because, I knew it well. If I could tell him everything, I should also tell the truth to my parents. They had the right to know what their daughter had committed as an irreparable act.

The couple locked themselves in their room while I dragged into Alex's, who was away. A pain in my stomach had been bothering me since dinner. Going to the bathroom, I realized it was announcing my period. This blood flowed again and again from my being. I groaned, taking my face in my hands. These damn periods couldn't come better. Sitting on the toilets with a weary look, I remained for some time without moving.

Not even having my cell phone with me to do something, I decided to wash the red liquid. Suddenly, I stopped, looking at the water at the bottom which wasn't so transparent anymore. It was getting redder with every drop of blood spilled. My gaze remained sucked by the spectacle.

Everything is fine.

Images poured in quickly. The same memory that I hoped I wouldn't have to dwell on again. The memory of a vicious and transparent egg bathed in the bloody liquid. I remembered having suffered, shouted, cried while observing him. I remembered trying to save him. My hands dressed in a red balm, I held this egg hoping it comes alive. He was a tiny being not yet formed, I could see myself crying his death, while I had swallowed this medicine to abort. I thought I could make him disappear with this magic, but he had never disappeared, he had fallen. My body had rejected him. I rejected it.

Everything is fine.

Tears flowed to these thoughts. Everything came back to make me feel nauseous. The shame of myself, of my unforgivable actions. Like a child, I closed my arms around me and swung back and forth, closing my eyes.

All is well, I repeated. Everything is fine.

I didn't know how long I did this. I didn't know that I was no longer alone in the room. I tried my best to dispel my memories. To hide them in a box of my brain and to lock them up. But it was difficult.

I had managed to stop thinking about my baby again, but today I couldn't help but think about it for a moment. A moment too much that had been the drop of too much in the vase of my memories.

"Everything is fine. I'm here. All is well," repeated a reassuring voice.

I let my face fall forward against the man's chest. I let my tears invade his top. I let my tremors worry him.

All is well, I whispered one last time. I was no longer alone.

I walked away from Alex, ashamed.

"Sorry," I whispered, sniffing at myself.

You're better?"

"Yes, you can give me a towel, please," I asked. I acted like nothing happened like I wasn't scared.

Alex opened the closet and remained hesitant in front of the many packages of different colors. He then turned to me, like a child not knowing what to do. I laughed for a moment at his face, then indicated a color. After finally getting up from the toilet bowl, I washed my face with difficulty.

"You didn't have a customer at the garage?" I asked, going to the room.

"It was a small repair. Alicia... what's going on?"

"Can you sit on the bed please. I have to tell you something," I admitted, nervously playing with my hands.

Alex gently said what I asked while looking up and down with a hint of worry. I put a black lock behind my ear and tightened my high ponytail. Unlike him, I remained standing, allowing me to move the ball of nervousness that I had become.

"You know I love you..."

I called myself a fool because that was certainly not what I wanted to tell him.

"Yes, and me too, I love you Alicia," he replied, staring into my eyes.

I found myself again captivated by the intensity of its blue irises like at our first meeting in the street.

"I... I have aborted."

A silence followed my revelation where I could see Alex's face go through multiple states. From surprise to anger. I knew he would resent me. I had killed my child. I was a murderer. I knew he would be angry at the acts I had done.

"What?"

"I..."

"Shit Alicia! Why didn't you tell me about it?! I thought we were together! A couple! And you...," he shouted almost as he got up. "You could have told me that you were pregnant or that you didn't want children! I don't know! Why didn't you say anything?!"

I stared at him incredulously, as he shouted insults as he walked down the room. He thought I had aborted his child.

"Alex, I..."

"Shut up Alicia. Shit!" he kept on too angry to listen to me.

Suddenly, an idea came to me.

"Do you still love me knowing that I have aborted? Will you stay with me now?" I asked.

I wanted to know his answer. Even if he thought it was his child that I had aborted, which was wrong, I wanted to know if, after such acts, he would always stay with a murderer.

Alex stared at me for a long time with unknown eyes. Without life. After what seemed like an eternity, he replied in a voice full of emotions.

"I love you Alicia. I love you as I rarely love someone. I'm sure I love you, but I think I'll need some time for... for... you really don't like kids?" he declared with that pained look and especially showing his suffering in my eyes.

"I'm not used to children... But I like the little revenge that works with great success," I announced with a gentle smile, hoping to find his eyes a deep blue and soft.

"What? Revenge? What are you talking about? Did you abort or not?" he asked, totally unprepared and with a hint of anger.

"Yes, I... aborted," I said, swallowing my saliva, losing my smile. "But not your child. David's."

This gleam in his eyes gave me a tiny hope of revealing everything to him without him hating me for my past deeds. I had seen relief before finding misunderstanding and sadness. He didn't seem to think I was a monster. With tears in my eyes, I told him all my story. I told him about David's adultery, my surprise pregnancy a few weeks later, and my painful abortion.

"And that's why you came here. To forget everything," he whispered in the end.

"Yes, I didn't want anything to do with this city, this house, my work... So I moved here."

"So, it's the child of your ex that you aborted?"

"Yes," I said, letting out a laugh. "Sorry for what happened. I was so nervous, and I didn't think at all that you would think it could be your child I killed."

"When I saw you were almost scared by Stan, I told myself that you really hated children... I didn't think at all... I never thought you would have suffered all that..." he murmured with regret. "And don't say you killed him. What you did is very brave. You had to face it alone. Nobody should be alone."

"And you say that. I remind you that you shut up to the world after your parents left. You too shouldn't be alone," I said stroking his face.

"But I didn't try to kill myself to join them or other weird ideas."

"Fortunately. But it could have happened..."

"It good that we found each other then."

Alex looked at me with interest before taking me in his arms. He kissed me, transmitting all his love. The sweetness I observed in his blue eyes showed me how much he cared for me. I wasn't alone anymore. Under the laughter and the tears, we spent the night curled up against each other.

A weight had risen, pulled and thrown away from my shoulders. I was lighter. Megan was right. I just needed to open myself. To tell Alex without any fear. Because he loved me and I loved him.

Everything is fine.