35. internal bitterness

Wooyoung wasn't having as much fun as he thought he would. He came to that party thinking he could drink down his feelings then go home with which ever random pretty face he found attractive. But so far it didn't seem to be working.

Even as he was currently pinned against the wall and making out with someone all he could think about was San. What he was doing at the moment. What he was thinking about at that very second. He even imagined it was the older's hands placed firmly in his hips. That it was San's hair whom he was tugging desperately on.

His imagination would always be quickly cut short and he's reminded that this person is not San. Their kiss was too different from San's.

Kissing San felt like nothing he'd ever experienced. Each kiss felt more intoxicating than the last and he found himself craving him more and more.

Wooyoung felt his skin crawl when the taller stranger holding him against wall slides his hand underneath his shirt. Suddenly he felt so disgusted. Goosebumps forms on his arms, and not the good kind. The hairs on the back of his neck stands straight when the taller begins grinding his hips into Wooyoung's.

Wooyoung immediately pulls back from the kiss, slightly out of breath. His hair slightly messy, cheeks flushed and pursed lips a swollen red. "T-that's enough" He manages to say despite how hoarse his voice was.

The older doesn't quite hear him over the loud music. And with how dark the area was he could barely even make out Wooyoung's face. The second they break apart from the makeout he immediately dips his head into Wooyoung's neck, sucking on the dampened skin.

Wooyoung struggles under him. "S-stop. I said stop" He whines out louder, his voice much more firm.

"Hm? What's with the attitude change?" They mutter in his neck. Then he trails his tongue up to Wooyoung's ear before he nibbles on the soft cartilage as well as the single small hoop earring dangling loosely.

Wooyoung cringed. "Fuck. Get off me" He tries pushing them. He was getting a little aggravated. "I'm not in the mood anymore"

"Well I am.." He ignores. A hand already making it's way to Wooyoung's crotch.

"You asshole! Get off!" Wooyoung becomes a little more forceful, shifting and almost kneeing him where he knew it'd hurt.

"Shit, ok ok" The taller male surrenders, stepping back with a bitter scowl. Wooyoung couldn't see his face clearly in the dark of the empty hallway but he could still see his thick brows dipping down in a frown. "Fucking whore. What a waste of time" He spits out in anger and walks past Wooyoung leaving him alone in the dark.

Wooyoung stood there, back still pressed against the wall. Fucking whore.. He bit down on his bottom lip and his head falls forward, disheveled bangs falling forward in waves.

I wonder if San thinks I'm a whore too.. I bet that's why he doesn't want anything to do with me.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there in his own thoughts but eventually he rejoins the rest of the party, his usual smirk on his lips as people he recognized greeted him which really was just a mask.

He recognizes Seonghwa's tall frame next to a small table in the corner and someone next him. He cocks his head to the side in question as he made his way towards them. The closer he got the quicker he recognized the pink haired male.

"Hongjoong?" He calls out when he was within arms reach. Hongjoong turns around at the call of his name. His eyes widens slightly when he sees Wooyoung.

"Woo! Hey I was looking for you" Seonghwa calls out, a small excitement in his eyes. He throws an arm around Hongjoong's shoulder, pulling him closer to his side.

"W-wait.. you two know each other?" Wooyoung looks between them, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah..?" Seonghwa responds warily, an amused smile on his lips. He looks down at Hongjoong and saw he had the same perplexed expression as Wooyoung.

"What's going on here? Have you guys met already?" Now it was Seonghwa's turn to question.

"Yeah we fu-"

"Are friends" Hongjoong immediately interrupts, an alarmed look on his face. He couldn't believe his shit luck. It seemed like the universe just didn't want him to be happy even if was for a short while. How would he have guessed Seonghwa and Wooyoung were friends? He felt like crawling in a hole. "We're just friends... sort of" Hongjoong reassures as he looks up at Seonghwa's dark narrowed eyes.

"Oh ok"

Wooyoung couldn't help the amused smile that stretches on his lips. He pulls up a seat next to Hongjoong, then leans on the table, arm propping up his head. A small world it is indeed. He noticed how Hongjoong had been avoiding him as well as ignoring his texts now it was beginning to make sense. He was too busy sleeping around with Seonghwa.

Seonghwa begins talking but Hongjoong kept zoning in and out of the conversation. Only catching a few bits and pieces of whatever he was talking about.

A minutes fly by and more people join them at the table. It got increasingly louder and Hongjoong just felt out of place. He wasn't sure what provoked him to do so but he slides his hand into Seonghwa's left hand on the table, grasping his soft petite hand lovingly. Seonghwa who was laughing loudly with someone on his right, turns to Hongjoong with surprise.

Hongjoong simply smiles softly at him. He felt a bitter sensation in his chest whenever Seonghwa would laugh with the other person beside him. He couldn't help but over analyze everything they did. Like when they would place a hand on Seonghwa's thigh or when Seonghwa 'fixed' his necklace for him.

It made him uncomfortable and undoubtedly jealous. But with Seonghwa smiling back at him after squeezing his hand back, it re ignited the fire in his heart. No, he likes me and me only. I shouldn't be worried.

Wooyoung, who was doing some analysis of his own, sits up slightly when he sees their fingers interlock on the table. He bit his bottom lip and he couldn't explain why he felt so... spiteful all of a sudden. "Hwa do you wanna get some drinks for everyone?" He immediately perks up with an exuberant smirk.

Seonghwa raises a brow in question but doesn't say anything because everyone replies with cues of yes'. "Yeah could you get some vodka too" One of the guys at the table calls out as he leans back in his seat and throws an arm over some guy beside him.

Seonghwa doesn't bother arguing. He laughs it off and pulls himself up to his feet. Hongjoong internally  whines at the loss of warmth from his palm. "I'm gonna need a hand" He responds.

"I'll come" The other guy who had been not-so-subtly flirting with Seonghwa, immediately stands up a smirk on his lips as he looked up at Seonghwa.

Hongjoong almost protested against it but he couldn't trust his voice. "Alright" Seonghwa flashes the shorter a half smile. "Let's go"

Hongjoong looks up at Seonghwa from his spot. A look of concern very evident in his expression but Seonghwa winks at him playfully, completely oblivious to why Hongjoong was so nervous about them being alone in some part of the house. He knew he had to trust the older so he sucks in a small breath and digs his finger nails in his palm when they both walk off, disappearing in the crowd.

We aren't even technically dating anyways.

A few seconds after Seonghwa's departure and Wooyoung leans into Hongjoong's side. "Why the long face?" He questions, a humored look in his eyes.

"Nothing" Hongjoong quickly disregarded. "Listen, about what happened between us I need you to forget it ever happened. I was stupid and naïve but now I've come to my senses"

"That's hurtful" Wooyoung retorts with a fake pout. "You saying Seonghwa fucks better than me? Though I hooked up with him multiple times before I didn't think he was all that"

Hongjoong's brow furrows in slight shock. His heart skipping a beat but he gulps down the phantom stone in his throat "I- What are you even saying? I actually like Seonghwa-"

"And you're sure he feels the same way" Wooyoung cuts him off. "He's just as much as a hoe as I am if not worse, what makes you think he actually likes you?" Wooyoung asks teasingly as he finishes up the beer in his red solo cup.

"I just do" Hongjoong was starting to get agitated. What is he even trying to say? "I trust him"

Wooyoung snorts at that. He tries holding back a laugh but ends up giggling a little. "I thought you said you were stupid and naive. Doesn't look like much has changed" He leans on the table, turning fully to Hongjoong now while everyone else around the medium sized table table chatted amongst themselves. The bass of the music could still be heard from where they were seated in a corner of the house.

Hongjoong stares at him for a few long seconds and Wooyoung looks back at him flippantly "What do you want Wooyoung?" He finally breaks the silence between them.

"Nothing. Just wanna tell you that you're wasting your time with him. He'll get bored then move on to the next vulnerable idiot who was dumb enough to fall for him. It's what he does"

"Shut up"

"Why else do think he and that other guy have been gone for a while now. If they aren't sucking each other's face off in some corner then they're fucking in his car" Wooyoung whispers on his ear playfully, an amused smile on his lips.

Hongjoong shoves him away, a furious look on his face. "I said shut the hell up" He tries to sound intimidating but even he himself could hear his own voice shake.

"Believe me if you want" Wooyoung says with a shrug then he leans back in his seat.

With that Hongjoong pushes himself to his feet and speed walks out of the area and towards the nearest exit. He felt himself break a sweat and he needed to be out of there. As soon as possible.

Wooyoung just stares at his retreating form with a blank expression, his smirk dissolve into a line.

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