WARNING: The following contains graphic violence, strong language, sexual themes, as well as rampant demon horniness... so yes, it's intended for mature audiences.

VIEWER/READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

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3rd Person POV

The scene opens on the desk at the I.M.P office where a mission folder is tossed open on Blitzø's desk to reveal the mission info from the client next to a photo of the target's car with notes scribbled around it like "WOW NOT A HYBRID?", "WIFE TOOK THE KIDS!!", "LOSER!!", and "WHAT A BITCH CAR!!"

TARGET: Joe Smoe

LOCATION: Backwards Ass, New Mexico

DESCRIPTION: I mean, just look at him.. Y'know?

INFO: Loitered racistly.

Before the scene cuts to Blitzø, Moxxie, and Ayden in the I.M.P. van on Earth with Blitzø simultaneously driving the van, reading the file, and holding a sniper rifle, causing Moxxie to scold,

"SIR! Focus on the road!"

"PLEASE!" Ayden adds from the back seat, where she's desperately clinging to the seats with her claws out to anchor herself in place further with her hair and tail puffed up in anxiety.

"I'm-just making sure that it's the right guy, okay?" Blitzø lets the file fly out of the window as he takes up the rifle in both hands, using his feet to steer and his tail to press on the gas, "Calm down Mox, Denny, I am a fantastic driver!"

Blitzø scopes in on the target, his hands shaking as he struggles to steer and press and aim all at once, evident from how he started muttering,

"Hold on, I wonder if I could just-"

He fires, but it blows a traffic officer's head off as it seemed like he was about to pull their target over.

"Agh! Nope, almost had him."

"Oh crumbs in a blanket." Moxxie grumbled before undoing his seatbelt to take the rifle from Blitzø's hands as he devised, "Just hold the wheel, I'll shoot."

He aimed much more steadily with the target right in the center of the sight as he commented,

"Nice and steady. Perfect."

"WATCH OUT!" Ayden yelled as a red car zoomed up from behind and hit the van, making Moxxie's shot hit the target's car tire instead as the van was jolted to a near-crash.

"Oh fuck the shit back into my stomach!" Blitzø shouted as he had to force the van to drift to the side to avoid crashing.

"WAH!" Ayden was tossed forward in the sudden stop, front flipping over the seat divide and landing squarely right between Blitzø and Moxxie, thankfully with a confused but also grateful, "Huh..?"

*PSH!*

The target's car was driven off the road, into a canyon, that the van was nearly sent over as well if Blitzø hadn't drifted them to a stop, and exploded at the bottom, completing their mission.

"Well... I guess that all worked out, then." Moxxie commented, having watched the car explode before announcing proudly, "Job well done, we can go home now."

But a look over at Blitzø showed he was furious, his hands clenching on the steering wheel, his body shaking in barely-contained rage, and his mouth foaming as he seethed,

"That fucker cut me off..."

"Oh no..." Ayden cowered down in dread of what she knew was coming...

"Now sir, with all due respect, the mission was t-" Moxxie tried to reason before Blitzø cut him off by yelling,

"THAT FUCKER CUT ME OFF!!!"

Driving the van to chase after the red car that interfered with them as Moxxie kept trying to reason,

"Sir, think about this for a second. Yes, this guy is a huge, gaping asshole. But killing him is a huge risk."

"I'm not gonna kill him, I'm just... haah I'm gonna fucking yell at him or something. I haven't figured it out yet!"

"Also a bad idea, sir!" Moxxie argued before relenting, "But fine, if you must. Just catch up with him and get it over with."

"THE FUCK YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO, MOX?!"

The red car driver, Driveso, continues speeding down the road, bumping and ramming into other cars and even a taco truck, making Ayden question in disbelief,

"What the fuck is this guy on?"

"Gosh, yeah, he's really hightailing it. What do you think he's in such a hurry for?" Moxxie questioned before Blitzø suggested loudly,

"I don't know, probably to go blow his fucking son!"

"Eww..." Ayden deadpanned with both her ears drooped down in disgust.

"What if it's a genuine emergency? What if he just found out a family member is in the hospital? Or what if he's late for a wedding and he's the best man, or-"

"Oh, look! Look, look, look! Look! Look!" Blitzø leaned out the window to point to the dent in the rear car fender as he yelled, "Right there, that's the same fucking spot I almost hit him. See, it's not my driving! It's the-it's the fucking thing he does!"

"I never said it was your driving, I'm just saying hypothetically."

Driveso swerves around and hits several traffic cones while making an illegal U-turn, making Blitzø argue,

"Oh yeah! Yeah, keep defending this."

"I never did. In fact, I agree with you. But-"

"Buuut- but bleh bleh, but WHAT?!"

It was quiet for a moment before Moxxie shrugged and admitted,

"I just think you're overreacting."

"Ditto..." Ayden added with a meh face.

"I have NOT reacted yet!" Blitzø shouted before stomping on the gas pedal and the van caught up with Driveso til they were driving side by side and blitzø pulled on his disguise of a red cap labelled "WHITE MAN" and fake glasses with a fake nose attached to them before shouting out the window,

"Roll your window down! Roll! Your! Window! Down! Face me!"

Driveso rolls his window down to reveal a middle-aged man looking insane and on something from the way his mouth was foaming and grunting as he headbutted the steering wheel twice.

"EESH...!" Ayden grimaced at the state of him while Blitzø continued shouting,

"AAUGH, what the fuck?!"

"Okay, he is a really bad driver." Moxxie stated before he and Blitzø started debating,

"He is the WORST driver!"

"But are there not worse people out there than bad drivers?"

"Oh, you can tell a lot about a person by how they drive, Mox." Blitzø grabbed Moxxie's chin to pull him in close, smushing Ayden in between them as he pointed out, "Watch!"

Pulling the van ahead of Driveso to block him from going ahead of them, upsetting him as Blitzø noted,

"See that? He's tailgating me now." Blitzø had his arm hooked around Moxxie's neck, choking both him and Ayden as he ranted, "He could have just as easily went right the fuck around. The whole road is open," He released them as they caught their breaths and Ayden was whacked on the head by Blitzø's horns when he threw his head back to continue ranting, "but nope! Rides my ass! I knew he'd do this!" Slamming his head against the steering wheel, "I knew it! I fucking knew this little-BRAKE CHECK!"

Blitzø abruptly hit the brakes with a shit eating grin, making both Moxxie and Ayden hit their faces against the dashboard from the recoil and sending Driveso swerving to the side where he hit a tanker, causing it to flip over and explode sending Driveso's car straight into a billboard post to send him flying out of the front window and across the hot desert ground in a smear and splatter of blood and rend flesh right before the billboard fell over to reveal an ad of a politician and the words "Insurance? No thanks! Jesus has me covered" before catching on fire.

From Driveso's perspective, his eyes opened weakly to see Blitzø, Moxxie, and Ayden standing there over him, looking pissed, worried, and indifferent respectively as Blitzø demanded,

"Why the fuck do you drive like that, hmm?" Before talking to Moxxie apathetically, "You see, Mox? Look, I didn't kill him. He's too much of a prick to die."

"I'm late..." Driveso rasped out before pulling himself to his stomach, revealing his peeled off skin and bones underneath as he struggled to pull himself forward while pleading, "I have to get there."

"Get where?" Moxxie questioned.

"Othe' than a hospital...?" Ayden snarked with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms.

"*Klck!* My son... Haaah!" Driveso pulled a photo of a young man posing in front of a car while flipping off the photographer as he explained while caressing the photo with his thumb, "Today is his eighteenth birthday."

"Alright, you see, sir? This poor man just wanted to be there for an important milestone in his son's life-" Moxxie started to defend the man until he ruined the moment by shouting desperately,

"I need to be the first one there to blow him!"

"You see, sir, I-" Moxxie did a double-take as he processed what he heard before asking incredulously, "Excuse me?"

"Wh't...?!" Ayden demanded in a matching tone before Blitzø asserted,

"Oh no, n-Now what you need to do is learn how to, uh, drive right. Dick."

Blitzo started walking back to the van, having made his point, but Moxxie gestured between him and Driveso in disgruntled confusion as he questioned in near-unison with Ayden,

"That's it?!"

"Se'iously?!"

"Well you didn't want me to kill him so I'm not gonna fucking kill him." Blitzø argued before hooking a thumb to himself as he argued, "I hope you have a newfound respect for me, or something."

"BUT HE'S GOING TO BLOW HIS SON!!!" Moxxie shrieked indignantly, but Blitzø didn't seem to be bothered by it as he retorted indifferently while climbing into the van,

"Uh, yeah, I told you that when he first cut me off, now both of you get in the car."

Moxxie and Ayden stayed behind for a bit, watching blankly as Driveso pulled himself forward little by little, unrelenting in his perverted goal despite his exposed insides and missing leg.

Moxxie wordlessly loaded his pistol and aimed for Driveso's head until Ayden put her paw on his gun and lowered it a bit so it aimed for Driveso's spine instead of his head, before a reddish-orange aura transferred from her paw to the gun and, once he fired, the bullet hit right in his exposed spine and blazing flames spread out from the point of contact as Driveso started screaming in agony as the fire overtook him,

"AGH! AGGHHHH! AHHHHHHHH!!! KLCKlllll....!"

Once he stopped struggling in the mini inferno, the two of them wordlessly headed back for the van where Ayden climbed in first to sit between Blitzø and Moxxie as the latter buckled himself back in while the former resumed driving on the freeway.

It was quiet for a beat before Moxxie spoke up,

"You know, he never signaled.... Not once, the whole time."

"The whole time!"

"And what the fuck was with that U-turn?"

"What a prick!"

"Right?!"

"And why take it out on the taco truck?!" Ayden piped up before slouching back down with her arms crossed as she grumbled, "What a waste o' tacos..."

"Psh, drivers, am I right?" Moxxie snarked as the view changed to watch the van driving along the freeway as Blitzø heckled,

"I'll tell you what, he could U-turn right back up my ass."

"Yeah, how 'bout a hand signal? Heh, nah, not that hand signal, sir. This one. Hehehe Oh, sir!"

"You know, it's never the drivers like him that get t-boned. I mean we're from Hell and this guy sucks!"

"Makes ya wonde' how guys like'em even got thei' licenses in the fi'st place...!"

"I bet even you'd make a better driver than that douchebag."

"Wait wh't?!"

The van was seen swerving a bit as it was implied that Blitzø pulled Ayden into the driver's seat before it straightened out again with Moxxie critiquing and then cheering,

"A little warning next time! But good job sweetie!"

"Yeh!" Ayden cheered as the van swerved around a bit, but not enough to cross the road lines to indicate her excitement.

"~You should try going faster!~" Blitzø encouraged cheekily, making Moxxie question quickly,

"Wait what?! AHHHHHH!!"

"WOOOHOOO!!!"

"YEH-HAHA!!!"

Before Ayden heeds his suggestion and the van shoots off into the distance in a puff of smoke with Moxxie screaming and Ayden and Blitzø laughing and whooping maniacally.

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AN- I'm ~baaaack!~ And Happy Haz-tober!

I figured with Season 2 of Hazbin Hotel on the close horizon, that I'd better get these last two shorts and Mission Zero finished as soon as possible so I could put all my creative energy and focus into "Caught In The Crossfire" once the episodes start dropping ^^

Just one note for this one:

Ayden's projectile amplification ability was first revealed back in the "Not-So-Silent Chaos" short story, but since she was drunk back when she first did it, she basically rediscovered it here

Also, to answer Arika's questions over on Fanfiction. net, I'm pretty sure Via is just mad at Stolas, not sure about hating him, we'll have to see how their relationship will progress towards forgiveness in Season 3, and no I'm pretty sure Stella doesn't have a mental illness that always makes her mad...

These last two shorts still take place after Sinsmas, I'm already working on continuity edits so the characters and timeline still make sense with canon events.

Until the next one, Byyyeeee!