Christmas

"Beth, Bethany, BJ Bear!!!" Alice shook me rudely awake, his eyes alight with excitement, I turned slightly, John was missing "It's Christmas lovey, let's get this day rocking!"

"And sleeping in isn't a great way to start the day then?!" I grinned at Alice as he slowly raised my body in the bed, it wasn't too bad. I made to stand up, holding him of course, dizziness bit at my heels so I leaned on Alice for a minute or so.

Alice always loved Christmas. Ever since he was little, first one up, roaring through the house screaming at the tops of his lungs to wake us all. "Alice you know I haven't got you boys hardly anything but what was in my room eons ago. You did bring it up?"

"Yea, yea. Now brush your teeth, have a wiz, brush your hair and come give us all a kiss!" Alice galloped out of the room, yelling 'she's awake'. His latest attempt at 'poetry' making me squirm!

I shuffled slowly to the loo for a 'wizz' dizzy and tired, not the best combination I just wanted the bed to gobble me up in its sheets again but if it did Al would come back and shake and yell in my ear so it was no use I needed to be up ready for the Christmas Day that lay ahead. Brushing my teeth as slowly as I could I could hear Alice yelling 'hurry up slow poke' and 'you're beautiful don't bother with that makeup crap' from the other end of the house. Well I think he was talking to me or was he talking to John, I giggled at the thought.

**

"Oh my goodness, what the hell happened in here last night!" I had shuffled out of the bedroom unaided to stand at the entrance of the living room aka Santa's workshop by the looks, tinsel and two trees -one a traditional pine and the other a palm both covered fronds and limbs hanging low and heavy with baubles and ornaments, a multitude of flashing lights adorned them too. The room was tinsel heaven around the windows, along sideboards. Little figurines sat snuggled together on another sideboard creating a scene of a snow cover Christmas village and children carolling. John hurried over, pointed up and kissed me quickly, yes, I was stood under the mistletoe.

"Come on in the kitchen we've fixed breakfast"

As I sat watching Alice and John hurriedly eat, I was reminded of two little boys eager to finish their meal because a surprise was in store in the next room, they ate like they were famished, devoid of food for months, not mere hours. I smiled at them, such men but big kids all rolled into one.

"Right bring yours with you miss, haven't got all day" Alice picked up my plate and I had no choice but to follow him into the Christmas tree, John stood in in the middle of the room in a Santa suit, Fake beard and ho ho, ho-ing "See love, Santa did come" Alice kissed me as I sat cross-legged on the floor beside the tree.

Santa aka John kissed me by the Christmas tree so Alice had to start singing very loudly and completely off key "I saw mummy kissing Santa Claus"

"Leave the karaoke at the door Al" I laughed at his pout and then he  forgot his singing just as quickly as it began when I pointed out the presents.

Gifts were handed out, I seemed to have a mega pile compared to the boys but they kept handing them over like parents spoiling an only child.

"Last one - From John to Beth. Ahhhh Beth, I think he likes you" Alice pretended to swoon, pushing me playfully and tossing me the little box "Umm I think I'll... I know I'll just go check Sterling" Alice was gone in a flash and I shook my head at his lunacy.

"Well mister you better get your tush over here I can't be jumping up to hug you, I'll get dizzy. You know how you make me swoon" I held my hands out, flicking my fingers beckoning John to my embrace, he crawled through the paper and scattered gifts to reach me. "There that's better"

"Come on open it already, B" John hovered, leaning over me, his aftershave was newly splashed on from the gift bottle I had managed to put aside for him before the accident. I had one more gift secreted behind the sideboard.

"OK here goes. What is it!? This paper is exquisite so pretty and the bows so small and dainty"

"Open it Beth" John pushed his glasses up his nose then sat beside me as I tore the remaining paper away from the little green box inside. My fingers were clumsy and I felt suddenly apprehensive, the way John sat grinning impatient and excited "I bought it yesterday. We didn't need groceries you see"

"You don't say" I rolled my eyes at him and he tickled my sides gently, hugging me to him. I finally reached the box and turned it around in my hands to the right way, I made a move to lift the lid, then stopped, watching Johns reaction to my teasing. He took the box and grinned sheepishly at me before opening it revealing a beautiful silver necklace with a small emerald pendant surrounded by diamonds shaped like a teardrop "OH John its beautiful, just beautiful" I pressed the Emerald against my body where it would sit when it was clasped, John leaned round to secure the thin silver chain.

I held the pendant in my fingers looking down at it, it was just the perfect length to see when it was on. I hugged him ever so tightly "It's the most wonderful gift I have ever been given. Thank you, you spoilt me rotten and I haven't given you much. Although I'm pretty sure there is something just behind the sideboard behind you... Have a look!!"

John hugged me back, kissing me sloppily then stood to look behind the heavy furniture "What's this then? When did you organise this missy!?"

"You'll most probably guess when you see what it is, as it was the only time I saw the original" John frowned and looked at me perplexed. Then sat down beside me to open the surprise.

As he tore the paper ever so slowly I kissed his cheek making him stop completely and smile at me, all the while I held the emerald pendant in my fingers. He started to remove the paper again so I kissed him again, once again making him halt his present extraction. I giggled at the frown he gave me.

"I want the kisses but I'm dying to get into this gift. It's quite the conundrum my lovely" John whispered in my ear and I pecked him again then put my hands over my mouth, no more kisses for him- rations.

He finally got rid of all the paper then realised he was actually looking at the blank back of the present so he was still none the wiser. Speedily he swung the big square present around in both hands.

I was too busy watching his fingers running over the frame, to realise he had silent tears running down his face. But when he lifted his hand to wipe his glassy eyes I saw the emotions, the pain, the joy, the loss, the happiness, all there, nothing hidden or controlled.

I removed my hands from my mouth, smiling "Do you like it, Johnny?" brushing his hair from his face, wiping a stray tear from his cheek.

"How did you do this?! I love it, it's beautiful. The best present ever" John now hugged the portrait to him and kept flicking it forward to make sure it was still there, not a dream.

I kissed John softly on the cheek, kissing the tears away. Closing his tear soaked eyes tightly, he was trying to hold the tears back. I held his hand and we leaned our heads together, the connection to the past and future tangible and close.

"I mean it Beth it's a wonderful gift, perfect. Thank-you but please, how on God's green earth did you manage to replicate her, she is glowing and so real"

"Well.... we had a wonderful morning that morning didn't we" John smirked and I kissed his hand that held the frame tightly "So I hoped you wouldn't see me sneak a few close up photographs of your beautiful mother. One of the regulars, down at the bar, well he's an artist he'd only shown me some of his amazing pieces a week or so before and well, the results speak for itself doesn't it. Is her hair right I told him to make it a little lighter than yours, if it's not, he can fix it easily"

"NO, NO she is Julia, this is Julia, how I remember my mother Beth, perfect like you" John leaned in for another round of kisses happier now, the tears were slowed and replaced by Christmas joy especially when Alice bounded in ruining our peaceful 'moment'.

And so Christmas day flowed on. Drinks for the boys, soda and water for me. Dinner was a disaster Alice forgot to turn the oven on! Watching the sun set down on the beach, wrapped in blankets was a perfect way to end a perfect day. Even my head was more settled not one migraine.. that was til I started to watch 'A Wonderful Life" with James Stewart, I just couldn't take the flickering of the television screen and finished the day full of medicine, but sleep came and I took the knowledge that I was loved and blessed to have such wonderful men in my life.