{ Author's note: hey guys! I'm sorry I've been like posting in weird segments lately! I'm gonna get this up to chapter 8 before I move on with Drops so they'll be equal lol, and then I'll try to update them both daily. As to Azael's comment about 'weak roy', yeah I've been having some problems with my ex boyfriend and I'm kinda depressed and been having frequent panic attacks...so be forewarned, Roy has a lot of that coming in the next few chapters...sorry Roy...not sorry...ahaha...but things will get better... }

*

"So you've been managing to pay my rent all this time, along with rent for your own house."

MacKenzie insisted they go out for coffee after leaving the church. The sky outside was downcast and the lights in the cafe dim. They were the only ones there, and Roy felt alone.

"I knew you were coming back, although I guess I convinced myself I'd never see you again. But I was always waiting for that phone to ring."

"Did you leave your wallet at my house on purpose so I'd discover your last name?"

"I knew the truth would come out," MacKenzie admitted. "I guess I didn't have the guts to tell you myself."

Roy nodded. It looked like it was going to rain. "What did Alice...what did she ever say about me?"

MacKenzie pursed her lips. "Does it matter at this point?"

"I'm rather curious. She never told me she lived with you."

"She doesn't anymore," MacKenzie said. "She moved out not too long ago..."

"So you're paying for that place all by yourself?"

"My dad has been helping out."

"Does he uh, know about me?"

"Should he?"

"I don't know. You kind of said the L word the other night."

"I say a lot of things."

"You do."

"Did you say it in Oklahoma?"

"She did."

"But you didn't?"

"I don't think I ever did."

"I see."

"Mmhm."

MacKenzie was silent for a moment, staring down her coffee.

"Panic attacks. I've been there."

"Yeah?"

"Focusing on something really helps me. Like how many light bulbs are in the room or how many fingers I have or something."

"That works?"

"Sometimes."

"Mmm."

"It feels like you're dying. It's scary as fuck."

"I almost ended up in an Oklahoma asylum."

"What?" Her eyes widened.

"I, uh, yeah..."

"What the fuck?"

"It's a long story..."

"Then why did you just tell me?" MacKenzie scoffed

"We were talkin' about Oklahoma."

"I asked you if you said the L word in Oklahoma."

"And I said I didn't."

"And you went in an asylum?"

"I said I almost."

"How the fuck, Roy?" MacKenzie crossed her arms. "You didn't try anything did you?" Her eyes widened even more. "Jesus Christ, the morphine. You did not."

Roy said nothing.

"You did not." MacKenzie gritted her teeth.

"I shouldn't have said anything."

"Roy my brother."

He could tell she was beginning to tear up. But they were in public, and she was just as stubborn as he was.

"If it was because of the whole disability thing, I know it's hard adjusting, okay? It hasn't been that long." She sniffed. Roy was ashamed he was making her almost cry. "And I don't care if you're paralyzed."

Roy swallowed. He put his hand on hers.

"Did you hear me? I don't care you're paralyzed."

She stared at him with concerned, pleading eyes.

"I don't care. I don't care."

"That's good to know," Roy whispered.

"Suicide is evil, okay? Just don't ever do that to me again. We can work it out, okay? .... Okay?"

"You wanna go home?" Roy cleared his throat.

MacKenzie nodded and downed the rest of her coffee.

Caffeine always made Roy shake.