chapter eleven: peach pits
4635 words

"I'll kill him."

Lori had to lunge for Lin's arm to stop her from running for the camp. "Lin, don't."

"The scratches on Shane at the CDC," Lin reminded Lori of the very visible evidence of what Shane had done.

"You knew?" Lori nearly gasped. They'd been so careful in the quarry, leaving for the forest at different times, returning at different times and always keeping their flings at near silent. Lin's responding laugh was sad, incredulous.

"Lori," she sighed, nodding then after. "I knew. You both weren't exactly that careful. Even before all of this." Lori's head dropped, her eyes going to her feet. She brought her hands up to her elbows, hugging herself for the comfort she needed at the moment.

"I never told you because I couldn't face putting that guilt on you, Lindsey. You always liked Rick and always supported the two of us. And I couldn't live with myself for letting my own family fall apart." She reached up to swipe at the tears beginning to form there. "And then all of this happened and Rick got shot and Shane said he was dead. I just wanted to feel something for the first time in a long time."

"So it's Shane's?" Lin asked, afraid of the answer she was going to get.

"No," Lori shook her head hard to the side. "It's Rick's and that's all I'm going to believe." Lin exhaled and rubbed at her forehead.

"What are you going to do, Lori? Have you told them?" When Lori didn't answer, it was all Lin needed to know. Lori didn't want to keep the baby, Lin could figure out that much. She wished that she could make the decision for her, tell her that this baby could be such a good thing, but she couldn't. Lin reached for Lori's hands, taking them in her own. "Whatever you do Lori, you're my sister. If this is something you're going to do, know that I'm there for you every step. But if you don't want it then I can't stop you. But you have to tell Rick. If you don't, I will."

Lori nodded, but didn't give any inclination as to what she was planning. And Lin knew that she wasn't going to get much more out of this, out of Lori. "Just be careful," Lin asked of her. Lori pulled on Lin's hands, hugging her little sister to her chest. She sighed right near Lin's ear and the nurse could hear how her breath shook, how scared her older sister was. If she kept this baby, she knew that she'd be there at her side the entire time. She'd had Carl through c section, which made things just even more complicated than it already was. But Lin knew that she was going to help Lori, no matter what it took.

The next morning Daryl was awake before Lin, pulling the wrapping off his head and shoving the covers away from him. He'd spent the night in a comfy bed but now it was way too comfortable. He felt like he was slipping down through it, the springs stabbing at his arms, scratching along his biceps as he sunk through the water vapor padding down to the hardwood floor.

Lori and Carl had asked Patricia if she needed any help with the animals, so they were feeding the chickens. Lin stuck near the rv, her fingers sunk into her hair to braid it off her face. She'd chewed Daryl out the moment he set foot on the grass but he was stubborn as all hell which meant he was going to lie in his tent rather than inside the house. He later admitted, after falling down onto his sleeping bag, that he didn't think it was fair of him to be in there, no matter if he was hurt or not. He didn't fit with the rest, he said, so he kept his distance.

Lin found him poking holes in the mesh of his tent. There were about 4 to 5 holes visible, meaning he must have been doing this for at least a little while.

"You know, it works better when it's all in one piece." Lin leaned on her hip, biting into the peach Glenn had wordlessly offered her. She pulled her other hand from around her back, tossing him to second one she'd grabbed for him. He caught it, fumbling with his knife to cut it into pieces. "How's your side?"

"Hurts like hell," Daryl replied, lowering a slice of peach to his lips. Lin rubbed her thumb over the fuzz on the fruit in her hand.

"I could go look for more painkillers?" Lin pointed back to the farmhouse but Daryl just shook his head, casting his eyes out the mesh panel.

"Don't bother. Save them for Carl." Lin shifted her weight to her other foot.

"Carl's up and moving today. He shouldn't need them anymore, you know." Daryl answered by slurping another slice of peach into his mouth, making Lin roll her eyes and tip her head in the opposite direction. She caught sight of Andrea walking towards Daryl's tent, a small black book in her hands. She nodded to Lin as she passed her, stepping into Daryl's tent where Lin had been afraid to. The nurse felt as if she were eavesdropping, just standing there outside the tent while they spoke.

Andrea offered Daryl the book, watched him flip through it. "What, no pictures?"

"I'm so sorry. I feel like shit," the blonde apologized.

"Yeah, you and me both." Daryl set the book down next to his bag, shifting the pillow behind his head.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but if there's anything I can do," Andrea offered.

"You were trying to protect the group. We're good." Andrea smiled, seemingly satisfied with the answer Daryl had given her, the affirmation that he didn't hate her guts. "But hey," he stopped her from walking too far. "Shoot me again, you best pray I'm dead."

It made Lin smile. It was dark comradery, but comradery none the less.

"Hey sunshine," he called out the open tent flap, his bolt between his fingers. Lin, seeing no one else in the general area, ducked her head to look at him. "You ain't goin' to that shootin' class, remember?" He nodded to the space beside him. Lin used the back of her hand to push the flap away from her hair as she stepped in. She bit down into her peach again, shifting her fingers so the sauce wouldn't drip down onto them, or even worse, into his tent. The last thing she wanted was to draw ants into Daryl's tent.

"Those things I said, back at the farmhouse," he pointed lazily out to the woods. "I-"

Lin held up her hand to stop him. "I think hearing you apologize might make the world implode so I'm going to stop you right there. I won't sit here and tell you that everything you said was correct and that it didn't hurt my feelings, because it did and some of it was. But if this is going to go on without a stop, all this end of the world bullshit, I have to learn how to hold my own. So I'll just say this. Thank you and fuck you, Dixon." She punctuated her sentence with another bite of her fruit. Daryl looked down at his in his hands and laughed, from somewhere in his chest. Whether it was genuinely amusing to him, or just caught him off guard, she wasn't sure. He raised his peach, holding it out as the catalyst for a cheers, a somewhat weird and silly cheers. Lin tapped her fruit against his and they took a bite in unison.

It was an odd thing, the two of them.

"How much sleep did you get last night?" Lin asked behind her hand, shielding him from any stray peach juice that may have flown his way.

Daryl shrugged, his peach almost entirely gone by now. "Not any more than in here." He wasn't going to tell her that it was too comfortable, too good for just him.

"Imagine it was a little bit better than the rest of us. Carl's told me that those beds are comfy." Daryl grunted in that way that he did.

"Was fine."

"Was dinner alright?"

Daryl looked over at her as she pulled the pit from the peach, rubbing it between her fingers. "Was fine," he repeated. Lin nodded, swallowing the last of the fruit.

"Lori used to tell me that you could make rings out of peach pits. We never ate peaches enough to try it but now it seems like we have all the time in the day to." She chuckled, turning the pit in her palm. "Times I wish I had a niece." And with that thought, Lin was right back in the conversation with Lori, learning that her sister was pregnant and questioning whether or not she should have the baby. And Daryl noticed.

"You alright?" He asked, shifting a bit to press his shoulder into the pillow and get off his injured side. Lin was granted a flash of the tattoo on his left peck, a name enscriptured on his skin.

"Yeah," Lin breathed. Lori's confession was eating her alive. Rick didn't know. Hell Shane didn't even know. And she had to press her lips together to not blurt it out to Daryl. "I might go out and see what I can do to help out. Most of the camp's heading out for the shooting lesson."

Daryl hummed, his eyes still directed to Lin even though hers were anywhere but him. "Still got more ground to cover."

"Oh no," Lin stopped him. "You are not going anywhere when you've still got stitches. Hershel will skin me for letting you."

"Can't just lay here," Daryl grumbled, pushing on his sleeping bag to try to sit up a little bit. Lin set her hand on his chest, on the exposed skin between the open panels of his flannel. And she pushed him back down onto the cushion.

"You can and you will. If I have to sit here with you I will, Dixon." She didn't have to use much force at all to get him back down. He willingly went, like he was expecting her to react the way she did. She must have been getting predictable now. She racked her brain on something to keep busy, something he would enjoy doing rather than lying down and reading. She knew he was perfectly capable of it, but it probably wasn't something he preferred to do. She peeked out of the tent, searching for Hershel or even Maggie out in the fields. And when she was granted with a clear coast, she presented her idea to the archer. "If we wait until everyone leaves I can set up a target on the perimeter and we can continue that knife throwing you were trying to teach me."

Daryl chuckled once, using the bolt in his hands to tap at the hilt of her blade. "Ya can't throw that thing for shit. You need proper throwin' knives."

"Well next time someone goes out on a run I'll be sure to add it to the list," Lin teased, awaiting the silence that would fall soon after. When she was granted it, she sighed silently to herself. She wanted to get better, be better for her family, for the group. "I'm gonna go check on Dale, see if he needs any company. If you need anything I'm just a holler away."

Daryl nodded, his hair falling forward almost into his eyes. It was slowly getting longer but it suited him, Lin thought. She stepped out to find Dale, the silence of the farm comforting her. She found her closest friend speaking with Glenn.

"There's walkers in the barn and Lori's pregnant."

Lin choked, the sound loud enough to catch the attention of the two men who completely missed the fact that she was even walking over in the first place. Glenn's eyes went about as wide as dinner plates as he realized the gravity of the situation at hand.

"Lin I'm-" he stuttered but Lin waved it away, rushing over to speak to them in low enough tones that no one else would hear.

"I knew about Lori, she told me last night. The barn?" Her head whipped around to face it, the locked and barred wood door. Just inside lied walkers, the very things they were running from. The place they thought to be their safe place had danger lying just under the surface. And no one else knew.

Dale was at a loss. "Both of you keep this quiet," he instructed Glenn and Lin. "I'll speak with Hershel. If everybody finds out then the calm won't last."

Lin scratched at her scalp, nails raking over the follicles as she thought of just what to do now. Full of walkers. Not just one or two but full. There was no mistaking what Glenn had seen. "We do not tell Shane. If he finds out this is over."

"What, why?" Glenn questioned.

"Shane won't even continue the investigation for Sophia. He's been itching for a reason to leave for Fort Benning ever since we got here. He won't hesitate."

The men both knew she was right. Of the three of them, she knew Shane the longest.

"I'll speak with Hershel. Stay here," he directed to the both of them, "and don't let him spill it to anyone else," he directed to Lin. He passed her the rifle, passing the watch job over to her. They exchanged a nod and he set off in the direction of the stable, where they'd seen Hershel last.

"Come keep watch with me, Glenn. It'll take your mind off it." He nodded a few times, still caught up in the shitstorm the camp was turning into.

"I can't for long. The fire needs more wood."

"You've got time." She nodded over to the rv and he reluctantly followed, climbing up after her. She let him take the chair, sitting cross legged on the roof. Glenn offered her his hat to keep the sun out of her eyes but she turned it down, telling him that he'd still need it.

She used the scope of the rifle to sweep the perimeter and when she saw that it was clear of anything living or dead, she set it down, casting her eyes back on Daryl's tent.

"What's going on with you and Daryl?" Glenn just went right for it, asking the question he'd been thinking since he'd seen her talking to him when they'd all gotten to the camp. She was the only one that had spoken to him willingly.

"Me and Daryl?" Lin repeated, turning her head to face him.

"Yeah. Ever since the CDC you've been, I don't know, around him. He isn't ripping your head off for it either."

Lin shrugged her shoulders, rubbing her fingers down the dirty seam of her jeans. "He's not a terrible person, Glenn. Yeah he's gruff but he's not awful."

"He snapped at you back at the quarry just for bringing him food."

Lin paused. "Call that an exception." And it was just enough to make Glenn laugh. "We're both the younger siblings, you know. Might just be an intuition."

"Is that why you and Amy got along so well?" Lin hadn't forgotten the youngest Harrison sister, nor did she forget the happier times at the quarry. But she didn't recall them as much as she wished that she did.

"Yeah, I suppose so." She shifted her legs and did another quick sweep around. "Daryl's just Daryl. He wants to find Sophia and I can't blame him. I'd be out there sun up and sun down for Carl." Glenn watched her talk about her nephew. He knew she loved him, would give her own life for him if she had to. "What about you and Maggie?" Lin fired her responding query at him. Glenn instantly went bashful, sputtering out some bullshit answer that it was nothing. But she'd seen the way he watched after her, followed her around like a lovesick puppy.

"Nothing according to her."

"Oh? Do tell."

Glenn shook his head, his following exhale sounding more pained than anything else. "We found condoms on the run. I offered, she took it. I found the barn and she told me not to tell anyone and you see how well that went. She hadn't spoken to me for more than a few seconds since."

Lin hummed. "That's a kick in the head," she mused. "Are there any more peaches?"

"Yeah. The crate is by the tents."

"I'll probably take another, bring one to Daryl too because I know he's going to get restless in that tent."

Glenn nodded again, probably a little uncomfortably by the looks of it.

"You can go chop wood now. I won't keep you hostage." Glenn stood up from the lawn chair and judging by the speed at which he stood up he'd been waiting for her to offer. "Woah don't get up too quickly there hot stuff. It's only chopping wood."

Glenn took her joking tone with a grain of salt, sending a grateful smile her way as he climbed down the rv. He was gone maybe an hour later with Maggie, setting on going back to the pharmacy they'd found a pregnancy test for Lori. Lin watched the exchange between her sister and Glenn, fearing the item written on the paper she passed him. It was Lori's choice though. This was her body, her baby. If she didn't think that bringing a baby into this world was right, then she wouldn't fight her on it. She was still her sister, no matter what.

Maggie threw open the gate, furious at Lori. They'd nearly gotten killed by a walker they hadn't seen in the pharmacy and Maggie took it out on the oldest sister. Lin wasn't there. She didn't get to hear what Maggie had risked her life for. Abortion pills, she called them and she had been right in doing so. Lori planned to take them all. Lin let Dale take his position back and as she walked back through the field, she saw the horses Glenn and Maggie had taken were back in their stalls. They were back.

She jogged over to the Grimes tent, lifting her hand to tap against the surface in case Lori was inside. She was but not for very long after Lin got there. She had to take a staggering step back as Lori rushed out of the tent. She pushed past Lin, running for the trees and not offering any explanation as to what she was doing. Inside the tent, on the little makeshift table, empty packets of plan b pills. Holy shit.

"Lori!" Lin followed her sister, chasing after her, finding her kneeling in the pine straw with her fingers down her throat. She swiped her hair up into her hands, holding it and her necklace away from the spray of bile that fell from her lips. Lin didn't know what to say. Lori shuffled her fingers through the pine straw, counting the pills she'd thrown up. Each of them was accounted for, two whole packs.

Lin held her sister as Lori shut her eyes, realizing how close she had been to making a decision that she was going to regret. She'd done it on a whim, but then instantly knew that she'd done something she wasn't proud of. Lin wasn't sure if Lori really wanted this baby, or was just keeping the baby because she knew she could never live with herself if she didn't keep it. Lori then began to cry softly, near silent into her sister's shoulder. She was so royally screwed it wasn't even funny. Rick didn't even know and she'd rather cut off a finger then tell Shane after all the shit he'd pulled before.

Lin kissed at Lori's temple, shushing her gently. Lori hated it. The affection was there, the meaning Lin was trying to get across, but she hated that Lin had to even do it in the first place. She'd been stupid, too trusting in Shane when he'd told them that Rick was dead. Why couldn't see have just seen that before?

"Let's get you to the wells. We'll clean you up." Lin helped Lori stand, wiping her tears away with soft touches. Lori followed her younger sister to the wells, helping her pump some of the water out to rinse her mouth. Lori let it flow into her hands, cupping them and drinking it straight from her palms. Lin stopped the water after just one pump, reaching to take some to rub on her cheeks, to rub away essentially nothing but sweat.

"I can't do this, Lin," Lori moaned, pushing her hair back off of her face. Lin took her into a hug again, Lori's hands hesitating to hold her in return.

"Yes you can. Just talk to Rick. Hell, if you need advice, go to Dale."

"Dale already knows," Lori shook her head.

"I'm mad that you told Dale and not me," Lin joked, squeezing her sister close before letting her go.

"If it makes you feel better he kind of found out by himself. He was cooking and it made me sick."

"Right," Lin nodded. "I forgot how sick you got when you were pregnant with Carl." Lori laughed, rubbing under her eyes.

"Yeah," she sighed. "It feels like so long ago." I did. It really did. The quarry felt like lifetimes ago, and everything before this even longer.

"Tell Rick when you get back, Lori. Please. I can promise you that he's not going to be mad at you."

"Even if it isn't his?"

Lin stopped her with a sideways jerk of her head. "You said it was Rick's regardless so don't even try. If you don't tell him and he finds those pills then he will be mad."

Lori just nodded. "Since when were you the wise one?"

Lin smiled. "Since I started talking to Dale." She turned her head back to the camp, to the car pulling into the driveway. "I'm going to go check on Daryl. Take a breather and then tell him." She didn't wait for a nod in response, shifting around on her heel to walk back to camp, back to the heart of the group. Back to Daryl's tent.

Daryl was resting, thank whatever gods there were. But he was a light sleeper, probably always had been judging by the way his eyes snapped open when she so much as looked his way. He shielded his eyes against the setting sun behind her, swathing her in the light of dusk. It gave the nickname a whole new meaning.

"Did I wake you?" Lin asked him, leaving the zipper of his tent half open.

"Yeah," he hummed, shifting a little bit. He'd left the tent a while ago for a break in the woods but he knew she'd flip if he told her. So he didn't. It wasn't lying if he never spoke about it, right?

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I'll be quick. I just need to check your stitches." She scooted closer to him, reaching for his shirt to push it aside. He let her but grumbled the entire time. She was a little used to it by now though. Daryl caught a whiff of the scent lingering on her and flinched away.

"Smell like puke," he complained, bringing his hand up under his nose. Lin flinched, leaning away from him.

"Sorry," she repeated, reaching for her shirt. Had a tank top on under it, everyone did now, so it wasn't like she was stripping or anything. But Daryl's eyes snapped away. She shucked it off, throwing it to the open flap. She didn't want to know what it looked like from the outside, her taking off her shirt in Daryl's tent of all places. "That better?" She spotted his red cheeks and immediately regretted her choice. "Shit, I'm sorry." She reached for her outer shirt again.

"It's fine," he told her, eyes still firmly aimed away from her. "Why you smell like vomit anyway?"

"It isn't mine." This made him finally turn his head to her.

"Then who's is it? Tellin' me someone didn't like the peaches, ended up goin' sick all over the place?" He set a hand behind his head, the one that wouldn't pull on his stitches. Lin was then faced with a predicament, one she didn't imagine that she would be having. She could tell Daryl right here right now that Lori was pregnant. Or she could lie, put it on someone else.

"I- I can't tell you." She settled on the worst possible answer. She looked down at her own hands.

"Can't tell me?" Daryl laughed. "Like this camp got any more secrets to keep."

"I just can't tell you, okay!" Lin ran a hand through her hair, ripping the braid out of it. "Your stitches look fine; try not to pull them tonight in your sleep." She stood up in his tent, stooping down to pick up her shirt and begin to shrug it back on. "Anything else you need, Dixon, or can I go?"

"I ain't makin' ya stay anywhere, sunshine," he snapped right back.

Lin crossed her arms and shut her eyes, thinking about how she was going to make an awful decision and it was going to bite her in the ass like a walker.

"Lori's pregnant," she whispered, no louder than the wind rustling the leaves outside the tent. Daryl sat up sharply, wincing in pain from his stitches protesting the sudden motion.

"She what?" Daryl's voice was loud, drawing attention to the tent. If anyone heard they'd be fucked for sure. She covered his mouth with his hand.

"You can't tell anyone," she hissed under her breath. "She took a whole bunch of pills and threw them up. That's the smell." She pulled her hand back. "Happy now that I told you?"

Daryl sighed. "Like we need another mouth to feed here. Game's runnin' low as is."

"Don't," Lin reacted sharply to his statement. "She got so close to getting rid of that baby and I know she'd going to get enough shit from Rick as it is." His eyes met hers, saw the amount of force in which she was speaking with, her protectiveness of her sister. He saw himself talking about Merle, his piece of shit hick brother who'd abandoned him with a group he barely knew.

He nodded slow, keeping his eyes on hers. "You're right. 'm sorry. You're just helpin' your sister."

Lin sighed, pressing her fingers into her eyes. She sat back down next to him, pulling her legs up to her chest. "I'd carry the burden for her if I could. I'd take it all if I could just to make everything go back to how it was."

"But it can't. Not anymore. Not without Jim and Amy and Jacqui and Sophia," Daryl stated. Lin's head shook back and forth at each name, at each person they'd lost. Carl's name would have been on that list, had they not found Hershel. And even then Hershel had lost Otis, Patricia had lost Otis. It was just death, death and more death. When would it stop?

"Why do ya do that?"

"Do what?" Lin asked him.

"Ya put your ass out there when ya don't need to. It's gonna get ya hurt." Lin just huffed from her seat beside him.

"And when it does, Dixon, you'll be there to tell me you told me so."

an: life sucks it's all a scam. this is basically my escape right now. i hope you enjoy this part, watch the new episode tonight and ill see you in the next!!

i had a fever dream about the walking dead last night and i can only really remember michonne, judith, and siddiq (as well as their respective actors) being in it like bro daryl?????