"Did you know that Quentin followed me on Instagram and I still haven't accepted his request?" pagkukwento ko kay Austin. I was leaning to his side while we were inside the hut, resting for quite a moment.

"Really? Why not?" he asked, slightly turning his face to see me.

I shrugged off. "I don't know. . . When I left Manila, I kept every social media profile private and would only accept those people I personally knew. Like you, guys."

"You know him personally. . ." he stated. "Like, you know what happened."

I let out a sharp breath through my nose when he mentioned it. Not only I don't want to bring that up in the discussion once again, but that happened before I got to know Austin's intention with me. It was like living up to that moment again. I wanted it to start all over again because what I did back then was so outrageous, that hooking up with random dudes would make my day fulfilled.

"Let's just not talk about that again."

"Oh, alright. My bad. . ." he said, pressing his lips together as if he was zipping them.

"It's not that I don't want to talk about Quentin anymore. Just that part alone. . . But anyway, the reason why I wasn't accepting his request is that I just don't feel like it. I think it would be better that way."

"Whatever you do," Austin said, shifting his body to face me and planting a kiss on my cheek. "I'll support you."

"For real?" I asked, and he nodded as he affirmed his statement. "And what if I told you that these past few days I've been thinking about resigning from my job in Manila, putting the condo in rental, and staying to live here with you in Siargao? Wouldn't that be nice?"

He scrunched his face as if he was studying my face. I was happy with the idea, I think it was a good thing for me. "Are you sure?"

Kumusot din ang mukha ko sa tanong niya. "Don't you want me to stay?" The question I asked somehow made me doubt my decision because of the reaction he showed. 

He shook his head and raised his hands up. "You know, I'm all for it. I'm one of the people I told you to stay here in Siargao so why wouldn't I want you here? Just I didn't know you would take it seriously. Have you really made up your mind?"

I shook my head as I looked down, moving my back and forth under the bamboo chair. "Not yet. I've been thinking about it so it wasn't final. I'll tell you about it when I do. . . But what do you think? I really love Siargao and this newfound peace I found here. Seemed like it was the kind of wonder I was searching for. I guess, it was just a bonus that I also found you here."

He put his hand above mine. "I'm glad I found you here as well. Maybe for now, think about it and if you've finally made up your mind, I will support you, whatever you decide. Come on, let's go and join the others for now."

Austin grabbed my hand we both left the hunt to go to the clear-water pond just a few steps away where they were spending time taking pictures. Inilublob ko ang kaliwang paa ko sa tubig at sa linaw nito ay halos parang walang pinagkaiba. Isinunod ko ang kanan kong paa at saka ko nilusong ang malamig na tubig. Sumunod naman si Austin na nag-dive. Mababaw lamang ang pond kaya halos inilubog niya lang din ang sarili.

"Danny! Come here, let's take a picture! Kuya's ready up there," Kady said, pointing to the man who guided our tour for the day, on the tree. She put her arm over my shoulder while I posed wacky. Little did I know, Austin would come to my side and kiss me on my cheek. Kady saw that. "Gosh, Aust! You were ruining our photo. You could've done that earlier."

"Calm down, Kades!" pabirong sagot pa ni Austin na matawa-tawa pa ito. "Are you all ready to go to the next spot?"

"Sure, I am!" sagot naman ni Bradley. "I wanted to try diving to that spot again. They've got a very special diving board there."

"You should try it, Danny!" sabi naman ni Xander. "It's your first time so it's a must!"

Napangiwi na lang din naman ako. Nang tingnan ko si Austin ay hindi niya ako pinagbabawalan, instead he was also pushing me to do it. Ang ending, wala naman akong nagawa kung hindi ang um-oo sa sinasabi nila. Wala rin naman akong inaatrasan, depende na lang kung hindi ko talaga kaya. Kung burat nga ng isang AFAM kinakaya ko, ang diving pa ba?

We're all in the Maasin River today, supposedly it would be just me and Austin, but when they found out that it would be the spot where we were going to, they rode along with us. Wala kaming nagawa ni Austin kung hindi ang isama sila. We thought should just have a day na kaming dalawa lang, but they told us we've been together alone when hanging out. Nakasasama lang nila kami tuwing lunch o kaya naman may dinner, o nagkayayaan pumunta sa club.

Kapag pumupunta sa club, ilag na akong tumingin sa ibang AFAM kahit na bawat lingon ko ay iba't ibang lahi ang mapupukaw ng mata ko. It was a feast I must say. 

We all went back to the kayak after our kuya tour guide told us to go. Dahil pito kami at hindi lahat magkakasya sa isang kayak boat ay apat ang nirentahan namin. Of course, Austin and I went together. Marina's with her fiance. Xander joined Kady, and Bradley loves being alone. 

Maasin River was peaceful for me. Tahimik lang naming  tinatahak ang ilog at sa kaliwa't kanan naman ay napapaligiran ng mga palm trees. It seemed like we were in the middle of the forest and the only way we could get out of this place was through this river. It wasn't that long when we reached the diving spot they were telling us to go. Austin pointed palm tree which has a weird curvature, almost meeting the seat. He said there was a swing there where people would hang on and then jump. It was only removed when they said the palm tree might not be stronger than ever to hold heavy weights.

Nang huminto ang bangka sa tabing ilog ay dahan-dahan kaming humakbang sa lupa. Austin was too caring for me. Hinawakan niya pa ang balakang ko dahil alam niyang mawawalan ako ng balanse. Siya naman ang inabot ko ang kamay para tulungan siyang makaalis sa bangka. Sumunod din naman ang iba at nagsabi na kung sino-sino ang mauuna sa pagtalon.

"I would only do it after everyone else," panimula ko at kondisyong ibinigay ko. "There's no negotiation to that. You know how scary that is for me. How deep is the water though?"

"Not deep enough," Bradley said. "You can do this. But I'll take one for the team if no one would do it first, I would."

"Go, Brad! I'll go after you," Keegan said.

"I think I'll go next," Kady said. "How about you Marina?"

"Of course! Sure, whoever I followed. I'm all for it.

"I'll go after Marina," Xander said. "And then, Austin, right?"

Austin nodded. "Yup. Let's do it, guys!"

I watched the boys take their shirts off while the girls chose to let their clothes on. Hinubad ko rin naman ang pang-itaas ko at humalukipkip ako para matakpan ang dede ko. The last time I checked myself in the mirror, Austin left a hickey on my chest so I hope it wasn't visible as it was before. 

One by one, they all went up to the ramp and stood by the diving board. The boys just didn't wait anything but jumped into the water. Same for Marina and Kady who made it so simple.

Hinaplos naman ni Austin ang baba ko at may kakaibang ngiti sa labi niya. "Are you excited or nervous?"

"Both, I guess?" I answered. "Can I still back out?"

"No, no," he said, shaking his head. "You're not gonna back out, Dan. I know you can do it. I know you will." He winked at me and then went to the ramp when Xander just jumped.

Napalunok ako ng laway nang pinanood ko si Austin na pumwesto sa diving board. Bago pa ito tumalon ay nilingon niya ako at nagpalipad ng kiss papunta sa akin. Naghiwayan naman itong mga kaibigan namin at nag-cheer pa talaga sa akin. Tumalon din naman kasabay ng pagsigaw niya at saglit lang ay lumubog na siya sa tubig at malakas na alon ang nagawa nito.

When it was my turn, they all cheered for me while I was having doubts. Nilakasan ko ang loob ko kahit na nangangatog na ang tuhod ko. Nakita ko pang mabilis na umahon si Austin sa tubig at saka niya ako sinamahan na umukyat sa rampa. He held onto my hand as I stood on the board. He nodded and smiled at me seemingly giving me enough courage to do this. When I looked at the others, they were so full of life and they wanted me to overcome this fear. When I turned my head to see Austin once again, I knew I was going to make the right decision for myself. So, I positioned myself and took a few steps backward to gain some headstart and ran then jumped into the water. I pinched my nose while my other hand was hugging me. The next thing I knew, the cold water engulfed me so I swam back up to the surface finding them clapping and shouting for me.

They were so proud I did that. I couldn't hide the smile from my face.

Austin then did another jump and once he got back on the surface, he swam in my direction, and to my surprise, he just kissed me in front of everybody. We don't usually do that since I felt so awkward when people looked at us kissing, but when they saw us, they teased us. I know I was blushing because I could also feel my ears getting so hot even though we were in the cold water.

After spending the day with them at the Maasin River and ending with a feast at some restaurant nearby, I've finally come to the conclusion that I need to do what my mind and heart want. This time, both wanted it, and I don't think just because I've got a blossoming relationship with Austin, but there was more to life in Siargao.

"I've got something to say. . ." anunsyo ko at saka ko nakuha ang atensyon nilang lahat. Nang nakatingin na silang lahat sa akin ay humugot muna ako nang malalim na hininga. "This day has been so special for me because you guys shared it with me. I've been surrounded by people who made me feel so welcomed, loved, and all ths things I could felt, I did—"

"Wait, Danny, I'm sorry to interrupt you there. But is this where you are saying goodbye and leave us?" Kady asked and their faces suddenly changed to sadness.

Umiling naman ako at bahagyang natawa pero puno pa rin ng lungkot ang mga mukha nila. Austin was poker face. He has no idea what I was talking about.

"It was actually the opposite, Kades. . . I've been thinking about this and sure, I need to sacrifice a lot of things back home when I have to make this decision. But I'm ready for it. I'm going to stay and live in Siargao, but before that, I have to go back to Manila and settle things back there, such as the condo and my work there." I looked at Austin. "And. . . Austin, you're coming with me because I already booked our ticket for tomorrow morning."

"What? That's so quick!" Marina said, surprised. "What about us, Dan?"

Napangiwi ako. "I'll try next time, but I could only afford 2 people right now which is me and Austin. But, next time, promise!"

Marina giggled, shaking her head. "Ano ka ba! I'm just kidding. I'm so happy you've decided that. Kaya pala no'ng nakaraang araw, you were asking if I know an apartment for rent in the city because a friend of yours was looking. But if you're going to stay here in General Luna, you can stay at my house. I don't mind. It's like you've already been living here for a month so. . ."

"Tomorrow? Are we leaving tomorrow?" Austin asked and I nodded. Natawa na naman ito. "You've made up your mind so quickly, huh?"

Napangisi naman ako. "Ako pa ba?" Hindi niya naintihan 'yon kaya hindi niya pinansin. "Anyway, I'll just treat this dinner for everyone. . . We'll be away for a week so don't miss us."

"You're the best, Danny," Bradley said. "I wish I could come. I only went to Manila one time."

"Same," Kady said. "But I would rather stay here. . . So, enjoy, guys!"

"Thanks. . . I'm looking forward to it."

Para ba akong nakahinga nang maluwag nang sabihin ko iyon sa kanila. Austin was even shocked when he found out our flight was tomorrow. I guess he didn't catch why I asked his full name and birthday earlier. He could've guessed that easily.

Looking around this table, I know this decision was best for me. I'm not sure what wonders await me, but I'm a wanderer,  and I couldn't wait to experience them all, one at a time.

***