You Found Me

Prompt: "If only I knewthen what I know now."

Why had we wasted that time?Why had we spent countless days, not doing anything? Why had wefought? I wish I could tell my past self a thing or two. I wish Icould have a long conversation with myself. I wish I could haveknown.

If only I knew thenwhat I know now.

* * *

Iremember the day we had sat by the lake. We had been fighting for thepast three days, but had recently made up. Sitting there on thatSunday afternoon, we had found nothing better to do than place betson which orange had the most pulps. Then of course, that lead to usspending the rest of the time counting them.

I hadwon. My orange had eight thousand, three hundred and two pulps, andyours had only had seven thousand and some. As you handed over thedollar that you owed me, our eyes locked. Everything we had ever seentogether had flashed before us, and from then on, we had sat insilence.

Afterthat day, we never fought again. Instead, we relaxed a bit more, andeventually drifted even closer. More than best friends.

* * *

I hadbeen on a work meeting, while you were at home. No one had seen itcoming. The tsunami—no, tidal wave, had hit shore in a way that itwould rush inshore. For almost three centuries, our town had notexperienced any sort of flooding. But this wave was the bigexception. The weather evacuation alarm had gone off hours before thewave hit, leaving people minimal time to get away.

Thedeath toll was enormous. Nearly two thousand people were injured, andover three hundred killed.

Youamong the dead.

Ithad taken several days for Search and Rescue to retrieve your body.And by the time it had been found, you had been drowned for days.Your spirit was gone, leaving only a lifeless body.

* * *

I lay in my bed. The nightoutside was conjuring up a frigid storm, and I knew I should get upand turn the heat on, so I wouldn't freeze to death over night. But Icouldn't. I knew I should. But for some reason, I wanted to feelpain. I could live with cold. What would it matter anyway, if Ifroze? One way or another, my life was ruined without you.

If only I knew thenwhat I know now.

* **

Thefirst day I saw met you, it was a chilly morning. I was walking toschool—alone, of course. Everything had gone terribly that morning.I had missed the bus—and Mom hadn't been able to drive me becauseof work. She'd also been furious with me for not finishing myhomework the night before. I had raced outside, only to see that mybright yellow bus was disappearing around the corner—three blocksdown the street.

Mybackpack felt especially heavy on my back, and I hadn't had time todig out my winter jacket. Wasn't it still supposed to be spring?

Thesame seemed to have happened to you. You were walking out of yourhouse a block down, with out a jacket, and racing after the bus. Itried to hurry towards you—maybe to meet each other, or something.A homeless man sat on the corner of the street, muttering to himself.When I came close, he stopped murmuring, and stared up at me angrily.

"You!" he yelled suddenly. I jumped back in alarm, and trippedover the curb. I fell into the street, hitting my head hard. Thiswould cause a big lump on my head, if not a brain or skull injury. Mybreath was sucked out of me, and I nearly lost consciousness.

Iexpected to hear horns blowing, and tires screeching, and maybe evensirens—

Twocold hands hooked under my armpits, and lifted me away. My legs beganto ache, and the hands under my arms began to pinch slightly.

Finally,we stopped, and I heard a knocking sound. Our front door creakedopen, and my mom ran out, and brought me inside. She welcomed whoeverhad helped me in and I felt the couch around me dip slightly. Thenext moment, a mug of hot tea was in my hands, and my mom had soakeda cloth in warm water and wrapped it around my hands. In a daze, Iheard the person introduce themselves with a name that started with a'Qu'. My mom tried to prop my head up, and open my eyes, but I justslumped back down, my eyes refusing to open.

"Ouch," I moaned, once a again, trying to open my eyes.

"Youokay?" the boy asked. I now realized that he was a boy, and as mythoughts began to clear, I remembered that his name was Quinn. He wasin my class, but I'd never really paid much attention to him. I knewhe lived nearby, though.

"I'mfine now," I said drowsily. Trying again to open my eyes, I managedone, and the world spun into focus—lights searing brightly. Myother eye opened slowly, and his face—your face, looked down on me,filled with concern. Wreathed in ethereal light, I had my first reallook at you.

Iremember feeling really awful with myself that I had neveracknowledged you. I guess I had been a popular girl, with tons offriends, and terrific grades—and you were a silent shadow of a boy,sitting in the corner.

Butlittle did I know, things would change.

* * *

Today, Imiss you terribly, and all I want to do is cry. It has been one yearsince the wave. One year for me to cry. One year for me to mourn. Oneyear to think.

Iremember a school assignment we once had. The teacher had told us tocreate a thesis or motto, that we thought suited us. Then we had towrite an essay on why we chose that.

Youhad said: 'Do what you love, and you will never have to work a dayin your life.'

I hadlaughed so hard the day you broke the news that you had received thejob of a pilot, and would soar over seas, and foreign lands, like abird. It was what you had always wanted to be.

I hadchosen: 'Work is work, no matter what you call it.'

I hadchosen this because I was still angry with my mom for making me do alittle "cleaning", even though she had made me carry bags ofdecorative stones around the yard, then mow the lawn, then clip thetrees.

Now—today, I wish I could go back and change that. I wish I couldtell myself to change it. To appreciate my life, despite all thethinks I disliked about it. I wish I could change it to: 'Livelife to it's fullest.'

If only I knew thenwhat I know now.