Confession of love; pre-canon

Jace needed the quiet that the rest of the Institute wasn't giving. It was nearly midnight and his parents were still hosting a party downstairs.

Alec, the only person worth talking to, had gone missing hours earlier and the party guests had grown stale with the hour.

The familiar sound of arrows sailing through the air came from behind the closed door of the training room.

Jace entered the training room, light on his feet.

Alec stood at the far end of the room, a bow cocked with three arrows.

Alec squared up his shoulders. Jace watched his breaths, even.

It would shock him immensely if Alec actually managed to land all three of those arrows on the target.

He let them fly, only one of them making it to the target, the other two falling short. Alec didn't stop, pulling them out one by one out of the quiver, now hitting dead center. He kept going, rapid-fire until his fingers found only empty air in the quiver.

Then he dropped the bow, chest heaving as if he had starved himself of oxygen during the entire process. He pulled two seraph blades from his belt, breathing their names as he charged at two dummies, slicing across the chest of one and decapitating the other with a spin move that made even Jace jealous. He dropped the swords and pulled a knife. He turned around, raising it to just past his ear.

"What are you doing in here?" Alec asked, not dropping the knife.

"I was getting away from the party. . . And what are you doing?"

"Practicing," Alec said, finally lowering his arm.

"At midnight? A little late."

"Jace. . ." Alec sighed, exhaustedly.

"I'm just saying!" Jace said. "You don't want to practice at 6 am but midnight works for you?"

"I'm going to kill you if you continue speaking," Alec said.

"I'm faster than your knife," Jace said.

"We're not playing knife tag."

"Then what are we doing?" Jace asked.

"You were leaving," Alec said, defiantly. He crossed his arms, knife still dangling between his fingertips.

"Oh, no, I was asking what you were doing," Jace said, jumping back to his original question. "Why are you practicing this late?"

"Clearing my mind."

"Of what?" Jace pushed.

"Stop asking me questions!" Alec shouted.

"I'm trying to figure out what's wrong," Jace said, calmly.

Alec dropped the knife, the point landing in the wooden baseboards.

"I hate pretending to be someone I'm not."

"What are you talking about?" Jace asked. This was coming out of nowhere. . .

"I'm talking about people discussing my future like I'm not a part of it. They want to ship me off to some other Institute and they want me to get married and they want me to come back here and run this Institute and they want me to have kids who will inherit the Institute and--" Alec turned his back to Jace, letting his arms fall to his side.

Jace walked to him, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Alec. They can't separate us. We're parabatai. Where you're going, I'm going. That's the first thing you have to know," Jace said. Alec turned his face away from Jace. "No one can force you to do anything you don't want to do, Alec. I won't let them."

"I-- I can't live up to their expectations," Alec said.

"Come on," Jace said. "Think of where we could go-- Madrid, Tokyo, Dubai! And you can find yourself a beautiful girl and settle down. Alec, we're living the dream!"

"I can't," Alec said, looking back at Jace.

"What?"

"I can't get married to 'a beautiful girl.'"

Jace tensed up for a moment.

"Alec-- Did you just-- Did you come out to me?"

Alec ducked his head momentarily.

"I suppose."

"I don't really care," Jace said. "I mean, I care, but I'm indifferent, Alec. I don't love you any less-- Angel-- Alec, you can't possibly think I'd disown you over your sexuality. You're still Alexander Lightwood, the same awkward black-haired boy I fell in love with years ago."

Alec was silent.

"Oh," he finally said.

"Oh?" Jace laughed. "So you were trying to fire three arrows at once because you're upset that no one knows you're gay?"

"Jace, please don't say it so loud," Alec begged.

"I'm sorry," Jace said. "But I don't think it would be the end of the world if you told your parents."

"I'm not ready," Alec said.

"Okay, okay," Jace said, holding his hands up. "Look, we'll cross all your bridges when we get to them."

Alec frowned.

"I want a carbon copy of you," he said. "Because you understand."

"You don't need a copy of me. You have me," Jace said.

"I meant--"

"You mean what?"

"I shouldn't--"

"What?"

"Jace."

"Alec!"

"Just admit it," Jace said.

"I-- I won't," Alec said.

"Tell me," Jace said. Alec put on his best sympathy-invoking eyes. "No. Tell me. Tell me you love me. As more than just your parabatai."

Alec squeezed his eyes shut and never got the chance to open them before he felt Jace's lips on his. They were rougher than Alec would have expected because they looked so soft from a distance. But in reality they were chapped in some spots. Alec was hesitant where Jace was confident.

Jace's hand was pressed against the back of Alec's neck, pulling him forward. Jace made a pleased sound at the back of his throat. And Alec's sorrows melted away. He poured his soul into this kiss, hoping that it wouldn't be his last.

Alec tore himself away from Jace.

"Jace," Alec sighed. "What did we just do?"