Louis POV

The next few weeks go by really slow; I haven't been to school. Drew has brought my work home for me. Being back where it all happened and the stares from people, I just can't face it. I've also been thinking about applying to college early, I'm top of my class in every subject and I definitely have the grade points. I don't want to be alone next year when Drew and Harry leave school. At least if I could get early acceptance into collage I could work towards a degree. I've downloaded a few scholarship early entry exams for a few collages and have started applying while I've been off school. I haven't told any of the boys yet, I'm not sure how they would react. If I get in, then I will face them but until then, I'm keeping it a secret.

Harry hasn't been around much, I'm not sure why. Drew and he had a fight and I'm sure it was about me, but Drew won't tell me. They are ok now but after the night Harry took me to the ER, they didn't speak to each other for three days. That's a pretty long time for them to go without talking and I just feel so guilty it was over something I did. Stan hasn't been around either but has texted me a few times. He isn't really the same, something's different and I'm not sure what.

I'm due back at school on Monday and I'm already panicking. I'm not sure if Stan will still be my friend. With what happened with Mr Charles maybe everyone will stop picking on me, I doubt it though, I can only hope.

The good thing though, is I've lost more weight. I have figured out ways to make it look like I'm eating but actually not and wearing baggy clothes actually hides the weight loss, so the boys haven't picked up on it. I'm now officially underweight according to my BMI and I'm hoping they all notice at school and stop the fat jokes and name calling.

While I have been home, the boys have been around a lot more which is strange. The first few days after I cut my foot I couldn't really move around easily, so I mostly camped out in the theatre with my books and movies. The boys all made sure someone was with me though, even if they were just reading quietly next to me. I feel like they know something, or something is going on, but they made me feel so happy and loved, I felt like they really do care about me and that just means so much to me. I miss Harry though, he doesn't really talk to me much anymore and it hurts, even more than the name calling and abuse I get at school. I have feelings for Harry, and he likes someone else. The fact that he doesn't really talk to me anymore has just crushed me. I need to find a way to get over it though because I have always known he would never be with me.

Monday morning comes way too quickly after a sleepless Sunday night. I get up and have a shower on slightly shaky legs. I have to face everyone today and I'm not ready, I just want to cry. I look at myself in the mirror after my shower, my bruises have all healed and my skin is a nice golden tan again. I look way skinnier, and I should feel good about myself and what I've achieved but I don't. I just see a worthless, pathetic ugly guy staring back at me. I turn away and get dressed in my uniform. My pants are actually too big for me, and I have to fold them over twice at the top for them to stay up. I put my shirt on, and it really hangs off me, I tuck it into my pants, and I just look ridiculous, I look homeless. I'm going to have to ask Scott for new pants. I head downstairs into the normal ruckus of the boy's morning breakfast routine. I walk into the kitchen.

"Morning bud, how are you this morning?" Scott chirps.

"Morning, I'm fine thanks" I say.

"Ready for school today?" Edward asks.

"You know you can stay home another few days if you like" Drew suggests from his stool as he digs through his eggs and bacon breakfast.

"I'm ok, I guess I should get it over and done with" I say with a half-smile.

"Good idea, Drew will be there with you and if it gets too much for you, he will bring you home ok" Scott says.

I'm slightly relieved if it's too much I have Scott's permission to leave that hell hole. I nod Just as Harry walks into the kitchen. He smiles as the boys greet him with hugs and fist pumps. He turns to me and I'm expecting him to ignore me, but he comes over to my side and looks down concerned at me.

"Are you ok? Are you sure you're ready to come back?" He asks sincerely. No one else is listening to our conversation it's just the two of us. This is the closest we have been in weeks, and I didn't realise just how much I missed Harry.

"I'm ok Harry, I'm a little scared to be honest but I've got to do it" I say as I shrug my shoulders.

"I'm here for you ok, you need me whenever, for whatever. Do not hesitate to come and get me. Understand" he says and my heart flutters.

"Thanks Harry" I say smiling at him.

"Louis, what an earth are you wearing?" Drew pipes in, interrupting Harry and my conversation. I look down confused.

"What do you mean?" I ask self-consciously.

"Those clothes are swimming on you, they look ginormous" he chuckles out.

"Ummm I dunno they just don't fit anymore" I say quietly, avoiding everyone's eyes.

"Drew take him to get new uniforms today please" Scott says to Drew.

"Kay, after school ok Lou" Drew says and I nod.

They all share a look of concern, but no body brings anything up. I know they don't want to make me upset on my first day back at school and I'm thankful. Hopefully they will forget about this conversation. I sigh and reach down to grab my school bag, but Harry grabs it first.

"I'll take it for you" he smiles, and I blush.

"Thanks" I whisper out and I can't help but smile back at him.

We walk out to Harry's car; I've successfully avoided eating breakfast and I smile to myself. The drive to school is quick and I can't help but be nervous. By the time we pull up my hands are so sweaty and I'm feeling like I'm going to faint. We exit the car and as I shut the door and turn around, I suddenly lose my footing. I fall forward straight into Harry. He isn't expecting it and he loses his footing as well. We end up on the ground in the carpark me on top of Harry.

"I'm so sorry Harry" I say. my tone sounds panicked, and I hate myself for it. Harry would never hurt you; I try to remind myself. If it had been anyone else, I'm sure I would have been verbally abused even physically. I can't help but expect it from Harry too.

I'm so embarrassed as I try to get up quickly, I can hear Drew behind us laughing. We stand up and I brush myself off, avoiding Harry's eyes.

"I'm so sorry" I say again.

I can't help it, my first day back in weeks and I've already humiliated myself and will probably get an earful any second. I try to rush off, but Harry reaches out for me and again I flinch and this time Drew notices too and stops laughing immediately. I thought after being away for a few weeks I wouldn't be so scared when I came back, that I would be able to control my reactions, but I can't. I can't help but worry someone is going to hurt me.

"Louis, please don't, you know I would never be upset or angry at you, especially for something like that" Harry says carefully.

Drew is watching us intently, but I don't really hear what Harry says, I'm waiting for the yelling and abuse to start.

"I-I-I-m-m sorry Harry, I didn't mean to it was an accident, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry if I hurt you, it really was an accident please don't be angry, I just I-I-I-I just lost my footing" I ramble out clearly scared, I'm interrupted by Harry.

"Hey, hey listen Louis, stop" he says. I stop instantly and look into his eyes pleading him to not yell. Harry won't hurt you; Harry won't hurt you. I tell myself over and over.

"I'm not upset or angry. You definitely didn't hurt me. It was kind of funny, in a really cute way. I've told you I would never hurt you, please believe me, you don't have to be scared of me" he says so gently looking into my eyes. I get lost in them for a few seconds before I realise, I'm staring, and I nod.

"I'm sorry" I whisper.

"It's ok, now come on we will walk you to your locker and home room" he says as he leads me from the carpark with his hand protectively on my lower back.

Drew and Harry are speaking in hushed voices behind me as we walk through the corridors. I'm not concentrating on what they are saying, just the looks I'm getting, they are full of disgust from my classmates. The whispers have started, and my chest feels tight. I walk, avoiding everyone's eyes. Just as I'm about to reach my locker I see Joey and his group. Stan is with them, and they all stop talking and smirk at me. I stop in my tracks not knowing what to do, fear courses through me and my breath gets caught. I want to go home so badly. I'm such a baby, suck it up Louis.

"It's ok, you're ok, grab your books and we will go" Harry says calmly in my ear.

I just nod, my head feeling dizzy and spacey, probably a combination of fear and not eating. I've noticed lately I've been feeling so tired and dizzy from lack of food. It's not enough to make me start eating again though. I grab my books from my locker as Stan comes up behind me to talk to Harry.

"Hi Haz, how are you?" he asks with intention.

"Hey Stan, fine thanks" Harry says nonchalantly.

"So, are you still up for that date on Friday night?" Stan asks

I can't believe he just asked that, are they together now? I'm so taken aback I drop my books on the floor, making everyone around us turn to look at me. No one bothers to help me they just laugh, Drew bends down to help me pick them up.

"Um I'll see Stan, I'm pretty busy" Harry says and I'm so relieved at his answer.

"You, ok?" Drew asks.

"Yeah sorry" I say.

"It's ok, listen Lou, there is nothing going on between Harry and Stan ok" Drew says so only I can hear.

"Ok" I say back I'm so relieved.

"So, you're chaperoning again I see" Stan says to Harry and Drew, glaring at me as we stand up from collecting my books. The rest of the cool group who are standing close to us snort with laughter.

"You know what, what the hell is your problem?" Drew says as he turns towards the cool group.

"If you have a problem with Louis, then you have a problem with me. You even think about bullying him you will have me to deal with, leave him the fuck alone" Drew says firmly.

Ohhh no, the daggers Joey and the group are sending me now can only mean things will be getting worse for me.

"We have never done anything to Louis, we would never even dream of it. Isn't that right Louis" Joey says.

Everyone turns to look at me, but I don't answer, I look down at the ground.

"That's enough" Harry says to the group before he turns back to me. "Let's get you to class" Harry says walking me forward again.

I feel like a complete baby being walked to my classroom. I'm holding back the tears at how pathetic I must look to everyone. We reach my classroom.

"Are you ok? I can stay if you need me to" Harry says.

"No, no please. I'm fine just go; I'll see you both in the carpark this afternoon" I say.

"Ok, you know where to find us if you need to babe" Drew says, and I nod.

They hesitate to leave so I just walk into the classroom. I find a desk up the back and the whispers start again.

The day goes so slow and the torment I'm getting is worse than before. There are rumours going around school that I'm Pregnant with Mr Charles baby, that I came onto him, and he rejected me, that I made the whole thing up for attention. It's all getting too much for me. I'm looked at with such hatred and disgust. Everyone thinks it's my fault what happened, and that Mr Charles was a great teacher and had to leave because of me.

At lunchtime I head down the boy's toilets, hoping to get some peace and quiet away from the whispers. Of course, today isn't my day though. I get into the bathroom and go over to the sink, I place my bag on the side. I'm about to take out my biology book when I hear the door shut. I look over and see Kyle standing there. My heart rate picks up. Then, out of the closed toilet cubicles comes Ashton, Joey, Luke and Mikey. I can't breathe, what the fuck am I supposed to do now.

"You know what guys? When we told Louis not to tell anyone about what we do to him, I really thought he had the brains enough to listen. I guess we were wrong" Joey says.

"We're going to teach you a lesson, to not talk, do you understand. We know you told Drew" Ashton says.

"You tell anyone about us touching you or about anything we do to you, and we won't hesitate to kill you" Luke adds.

"Not before we turn everyone against you, including Harry and even Drew. No one likes you Louis, why can't you just see that, why can't you just understand that no one wants you around" Joey says.

"You're a burden on your brothers. I've heard Drew talking about it, and we've heard Harry talking about how fat you are, about how much he wishes you would just leave him alone. That you're just this pathetic leech that he has to put up with for Drew's sake" Ashton smirks at me.

The words they are saying go straight to my heart. They are my greatest fears, that Drew and Harry really wish I wasn't around. Harry thinks I'm fat and they see me as a burden. Tears spring to my eyes and I try not to let them fall.

"Don't cry babe, we will give you what you deserve" Luke says to me.

He approaches me from the stall and grabs my hair. His grip is so tight as he slams my head back into the wall of the toilets, my whole head going dizzy. Ashton comes over and punches me so hard in the face. What happens next is a blur as I'm pushed, stood on, kicked, spat on, and punched. Only where the bruises won't show though. I'm lying on the floor of the bathroom when they decide they have had enough.

"Tell anyone and you're gone, consider this a warning" Joey spits at me.

They leave the bathroom leaving me alone on the cold bathroom floor. I can hardly move. I have to get up though, if someone finds me the beatings will get worse. I pick myself up and go to the sink. My hands shakily hold me up, my vision is going blurry and there is a ringing in my ears. I clean the blood off my face and walk slowly out of the toilets. I've had enough for today, I need to leave. I head towards the cafeteria to find Drew. I can barely walk straight; I must look like such a loser. I find Drew's table, but he isn't there, as I approach, I get a Corus of cautious "Hey Louis" from everyone. They must notice I look like shit. I try to smile slightly but wince as my head pounds. Harry turns around in his seat at the sound of my name, as soon as he sees me, he is out of his chair.

"What the fuck happened to you?" he says causing the table to all go silent. Great they will think I'm more of a freak.

"Where's Drew?" I ask avoiding Harry's question.

"He took Ness home, she wasn't feeling well, he will be back by end of lunch" Harry says "now tell me what happened" He demands.

"Nothing I fell over" I say as I turn around to leave.

"Where the hell do you think you're going" Harry says raising his voice to me.

"Um" my head is so cloudy I can't think straight.

"Come on I'll take you home, I think you need to go home" he says concerned

"Um no I can't, I have to get new uniforms this afternoon, I'm fine Harry, I'll see you later" I say, and I leave him completely gobsmacked in the cafeteria.

I find the boys bathroom near the school entrance and lock myself inside for the rest of the afternoon, I don't come out until it's time to head home. I find Drew and we get my new uniforms. Turns out I've dropped two sizes and it's the smallest size they stock. We head back to the carpark and Harry is waiting for us to drive us home. The car ride is silent, Harry sending me worrying glances every two seconds in the rear-view mirror. I try to act like I don't notice, Drew remains silent the whole way, it's uncomfortable.

When we pull up at home, we all get out of the car, Harry must be studying with Drew or something. When we enter the house Harry and Drew go off to the lounge room without another word to me, while I give my uniforms to Greta the housekeeper to wash. I limp my way to the kitchen, my body is aching so much. I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and four ice packs from the freezer. As I'm leaving the kitchen Harry and Drew walk in, they seem to be in a deep conversation. They look at me strangely when they see me with so many ice packs.

"Whatcha got their babe?" Drew asks curiously.

"Um, ice, um Ice packs" I say sheepishly.

"Ok... um so watcha doing with ice packs?" he asks.

"Just I'm, just really hot, yeah hot" I say.

I race out of the room before they can ask any more questions. I reach my room and my body is so exhausted. I change slowly into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, and I lay on my bed. I grab the ice packs and place one under my head so the back of my head is getting relief, I can still feel the bump. I place one on my right side over my rib cage, one on my Lower back and one across my ankle. I look like a right mess but I'm instantly relieved as the cold compress's sooth my aching body. I'm so exhausted my eyes close and I'm instantly asleep.