B R E N

The sun was hitting the balcony in sweltering strokes, and I instantly broke out in a sweat as I leaned against the railing. I gripped it, squeezing the hot metal in my hands as I tried to catch my breath. For the first time in a long time, I longed for the chill of Northern California.

If I ever saw Quinton Reid again, I was going to fucking kill him. I was going to fucking kill him, and damn the consequences.

It wasn't that I was surprised that he had hurt Madie like that, not after everything else I'd learned. But knowing exactly when he did it was gutting me. Why hadn't I pushed harder that day to keep her from leaving The Grounds with him? Why hadn't I gone to her room to check on her later? Why did I wait a whole goddamn week before barging into her room to see how she was doing?

Shit, of course he forced her. He'd wanted to get her pregnant. Although at that point, she probably already was. Had Quinton known that she was carrying his child when he raped her?

I didn't care what kind of excuses Madie was manipulated into believing. I didn't care what she wanted to call it. Being pushy with your girlfriend was not fucking okay.

My hands released the railing, shoving off of it with force. I pulled on the ends of my hair, needing to yank on something, to hold onto something.

This was the tipping point. I didn't know how to do this anymore. It was all too much.

The sliding glass door rumbled open behind me, and Madie's quiet voice reached my ears. "Do you not want me anymore?"

I spun around, and she gasped. "Bren." She reached toward me, her delicate fingers soothing over my cheek. "Are you crying?"

Was I? I wiped at the wetness on my face. It could be shower water or sweat, but I knew it wasn't. Those things didn't leak from your eyes.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "It's ridiculous. I haven't cried since my mom died."

"Bren," she said again, lifting her other hand to my face, cupping it. I wished she'd stop saying my name like that. Why was she comforting me? Our roles should have been reversed.

I pulled her hands away from my cheeks, gripping her wrists in a loose hold.

"Come here." I brought her to a deck chair and pulled her into my lap. Her legs draped sideways over my thighs, her shoulder resting in my armpit as I wrapped myself around her. She was wearing another one of my shirts, but it barely covered her ass, and her nipples peaked through the cotton. I was wretched for the way I wanted her, even in a moment like this.

So I started off by finding her blue eyes and telling her that. "Of course I still want you, Madie."

"You left."

I deserved the sharp way she said it.

"I shouldn't have," I admitted. "I'm sorry. I just needed a minute."

She pressed a kiss to my hairline, and I closed my eyes at the touch of her lips. I would never get used to feeling them on me.

"Madie," I gasped, blinking my eyes open again. I didn't have the words for this, and I gaped at her. Finally, my heart poured out. "You are so beautiful and strong. I only asked about your past because I didn't want to hurt you or bring back something painful. So I could give you what you needed. I didn't know..."

"You are what I need, Bren," she insisted, though quietly. She tilted her head to the side. "And you did bring back something painful."

Swearing beneath my breath, I stroked her wet hair, running my fingers through it. "You're right. Are you okay?"

Staying mute, she nodded. But it was a stupid question for me to ask. No matter how much Madie wanted to be okay, I knew it would be a long time before she truly was. And I needed to deal with that if I wanted to be with her.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes while I tried to figure out how I was going to say what I needed to. Because I knew she wasn't going to like it.

But then Madie squinted off into the distance and started talking, her voice monotone and thick. "He was drunk. I picked him up from a party, and he told me he kissed another girl."

"Madie..." I began, my voice strained. "You don't have to tell me." I honestly didn't know if I'd be able to listen without losing my cool.

She ignored me.

"He said it was just a part of a drinking game, but I got mad anyway. I yelled at him. He hit me." Her nose scrunched up as she watched the waves. I looked at the water, too.

I wondered how often she felt like she was drowning in the last few years. I wondered if it was as much as me.

"He wanted to make it up to me, show me how much he wanted me," Madie continued, and I cringed. "Instead of the girls at the party."

Swallowing, she looked back at me. I expected to see tears, but there was simply a hard resolve. "I said I didn't want to. I said no."

Her lips drew into a firm line, and I could tell she was wrestling with her next thought or words. So I waited. Meanwhile, my stomach tied into an intricate knot as I tried to keep the rest of my body from tensing, too. I needed to stay calm for her. It was the least I could fucking do after bringing this up.

"I said no," she said again, mumbling almost more to herself than me. "I said no." Her brows drew together as she finally met my gaze. "I said no, Bren," she whispered, and it was as soft as the breeze. But as hard as a bullet striking the truth.

How many times was my heart going to shatter for this girl?

Her head dipped, and mine did too, not wanting her to hide away from me. "And any guy should respect that, Madie. Boyfriend or not."

She blinked up at me, slow and painful-like. Then she released a steadying stream of air, and her fingers tangled in my shirt, clutching at my chest. "Oh god, you're right. Bren, you're right." Her sharp gasp echoed in my ear.

I exhaled, too. I covered her hand with my own, flattening it against my heart. She let go of my shirt, a gradual release.

She needed to know I was right. Because if one day I was gone, and some other guy got to call her his, I needed her to understand that she should never be treated like that.

"I am so sorry, Madie," I soothed. "I can't even imagine how..." I lost my words and had to clear my throat. "But I'm glad I know."

It was my turn to grip her face between my hands, angling her face back so the sun could highlight her faint freckles, her raw beauty. I was tempted to kiss the little crease between her eyes but held back, wanting to keep eye contact.

"Because when we have sex—and god, we will, Madie—you're going to be in control. You're going to take what you want and only what you want, and I'm going to love every fucking minute of it. Honestly, I should have known that was what you needed without even asking a thing."

A flush spread across her face, and I couldn't help but smile. So now she was feeling shy about sex?

She wiggled on my lap a little, reminding me that she didn't have pants on, and there was only a thin towel between my quickly hardening dick and her wet slit—the same wet slit I'd rubbed my tip against earlier when Madie had urged me to let go. And hell, I did. I'd been so close to slamming into her in an outdoor shower.

Shit. I needed to focus.

I released her face, which now had a little smirk on it.

She squirmed in my lap again, and I groaned. "Baby."

"Yes?" Madie raised a brow. I couldn't handle the play of innocence she was making right now. She knew what she was doing—shy my ass.

"I need you to do something for me."

Her face dropped, uncertainty flashing through her eyes. "What?"

I cleared my throat. I needed to be convincing. I needed her to understand how important this was.

"You need to press charges against Quinton for everything he's done to you."

"But—"

"But nothing," I cut in, trying to be firm without raising my voice. "They will never be able to get him for anything without your cooperation. Let me take the assault charges for what I did to Quinton. I fucked up. I deserve it. You don't deserve anything that's happened to you, Madie."

She leaned back, looking down on me with wide eyes. "You know about that?"

"That he blackmailed you into dropping everything? Yes, and it's been killing me." I ran my fingers through my hair, needing to do something. I had the urge to jump up and begin pacing, but I didn't want Madie to move from my lap. "Hearing another thing he did to you is the final straw. I didn't want to upset you by bringing this up, but I can't handle it anymore. It's my fault he isn't in jail right now."

Her eyes narrowed. "Who told you?"

"Beau. When he found me after I left campus. Before I came back to get you."

Her eyes were little slits now, and I didn't like it. "Is that the only reason you came back? Because you felt guilty?"

I gripped my hair harder, practically pulling it out.

"Madie..." I muttered.

Come on. She had to know better than that by now.

"You're right." Madie shook her head. "I'm sorry—"

"I thought Quinton was in jail, and you'd be better without me. I was wrong about all of it. I made a mistake, and I came back to fix it."

"I'm better with you, Bren. Which is exactly why I can't risk pressing charges against Quinton."

"Just think about it. Please, Madie. It's a maximum of like six months in jail for me. But I could maybe get off with just a fine and some community service. Or maybe even get it dropped considering all the shit Quinton's done. No biggie." I tried to smile, make light of it. "I'll just make a withdrawal from the bank of Beau to pay for everything."

Madie was not amused.

"It would be on your record, Bren."

I shrugged. "Fuck my record. I deserve it. I did it. I lost control on his ass."

"But you wouldn't have even been in that situation if it wasn't for me. If you hadn't met me. I can't let you do that, Bren. And I can't do six months of you in jail."

I gave her side a little squeeze. "You'd miss me, huh?"

Madie retorted with a playful slap on my arm. But I met my goal; a smile flirted with her lips. "Yes," she snapped, despite fighting a grin. "I'd miss you."

Meeting my gaze, the corners of her mouth fell. "So much," she whispered.

All the edges of my fucked up heart cut into my chest at those words. It was still hard to wrap my head around the idea that Madie might feel as strongly about me as I did about her. Because six months without her sounded like hell to me, too.

Though I'd do years if that meant Quinton got what he deserved.

"Just think about it," I whispered back as I resumed stroking her hair.

Madie squeezed her eyes shut.

"Okay."

"Are you tired?" I asked. A lot happened today.

She nodded.

Wordlessly, we both stood. I followed Madie back inside, back to the bed. But this time we both tucked ourselves deep within the covers. And then I found Madie's lips. And I kissed her like I've always wanted to when we've had to talk about the shit she's gone through.

Because Madie needed to know she was wanted. And she deserved to be kissed over and over again.

Not just once. Not just because of a stupid frat house dare or to make up for being cheated on. Not just because of some fleeting teenage lust or to feel something real for the first time.

But because she was fucking amazing.

And she was mine.

🖤

What do you think the likeliness is that Madie will listen to Bren on this?
Thank you so much for reading!
xoxo